Want some laughs? :D

samwise of the shire · 02-02-2002, 09:14 PM

These were actual LABELS on store products. How stupid do manufactureers are or do we live in a sue happy generation or what. Still an exellent laugh. Enjoy.

On a Sear's hairdryer:
> "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
>
> On a bag of Fritos:
> "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special)
>
> On a bar of Dial soap:
> "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how ...?)
>
> On some Swanson frozen dinners:
> "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
>
> On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
> "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
>
> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
> "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
>
> On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
> "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
>
> On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
> "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
>
> On Nytol Sleep Aid:
> "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
>
> On most brands of Christmas lights:
> "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
>
> On a Japanese food processor:
> "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
>
> On Sainsbury's peanuts:
> "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
>
> On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." ( Step 3: Fly Delta.)
>
> On a child's superman costume:
> "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
>
> On a Swedish chainsaw:
> "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My Goodness! Are Swedes that much tougher than we are?)

I got this off my Mom's e-mail. Hope it made you laugh as much as it did me.
Sam

Renille · 02-02-2002, 09:23 PM

Oh my...industry people don't leave a single chance for a stupid lawsuit, do they?

emplynx · 02-02-2002, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by samwise of the shire
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

That is why my chainsaw is messed up. I keep smacking it against my "self" to stop it.

***gdl96*** · 02-02-2002, 09:43 PM

rotflmao

FrodoFriend · 02-03-2002, 02:22 AM

Ah ha ha HA HA!!! If only Hugo Weaving could see this!

Quote:

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Open packet, eat nuts.

Oh, you have to open the package first! Now I get it!

Quote:

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop with your hands or genitals.

So I can still use my feet, right?

Sakata · 02-03-2002, 02:41 AM

Thats it, Im getting a sweedish boyfriend

CardenIAntauraNauco · 02-03-2002, 02:01 PM

Notice that it doesn't say anything about using someone else to stop it.

CardenIAntauraNauco · 02-03-2002, 02:04 PM

No it's very possible that they meant "digitals" as in fingers and they simply didn't think of the correct word

athelas · 02-04-2002, 08:50 AM

Ahh...Japan. Home of sushi, cutesy anime and English that makes one cringe....

samwise of the shire · 02-04-2002, 07:41 PM

This'ns my favorite:
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
Or
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down." (Too late!). LOLROFLMBO.
You guys should have heard the computer stories that we got. One woman had a porblem with the foot generator on her computer. Turns out that"foot run genrator"was the MOUSE. And another guy had a problem with the dust protecter on the mouse. It wouldn't let him move it across the pad....no suprise as the "dust cover"was actually the wrapper the mouse came in.
Sam

mirrille · 02-04-2002, 09:43 PM

I just noticed this on the back of a little notebook that I have.
"Toto Bear: To To Bear has a simple mind that works in slow-motion. he is uncomplicated and lacks sophistication."
And above it is a cute little picture of a white teddy bear watering a pot of flowers. It's a really cute notebook.

Twilight · 02-05-2002, 07:12 PM

I like the japenese food processor one. It leaves much to the imagination. Although it is hard to compete with the Swedish one. I think that the scariest thing is if you look at the lable to see what is actually inside of a food product. You can find a lot of surprising ingredients.

mirrille · 02-05-2002, 09:22 PM

Take a look at this site, if you've never seen it.
It had me in stitches.

http://www.engrish.com/

Laurelyn · 02-07-2002, 07:03 PM

LOL!!! These are HILARIOUS!!!!!

" On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.) "

What?? It causes drowsiness? But I wanted to stay up all night . . .

Sakata · 02-07-2002, 07:18 PM

LOL thats a great site!

Evenstar · 02-07-2002, 11:34 PM

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
Ohh..cause I always eat my meals frozen!!

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
> "Do not iron clothes on body."
How stupid would you wanna be!!! Do they really think that people do this????

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) LOL

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Whats with the "may" cause drowsiness!!! Wouldn't we want one that "will" cause drowsiness???

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (cause I always put my Christmas lights....???)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (What other use??)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts." (Well tie me up all call me Betty)

Aragorn · 02-08-2002, 08:21 AM

*Ties Evenstar up and calls her Betty.*

***Tessar*** · 02-08-2002, 11:18 AM

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."

maybe thats ment for peopel who normaly live in another dimention?

that or they are just trying to keep NASA from decorating their space ships

athelas · 02-08-2002, 02:22 PM

Quote:

To To Bear has a simple mind that works in slow-motion.

LOL!!!!

Im picturing a bear with gears turning slowly in his head!!!

Great site mirille!

Aragorn · 02-08-2002, 04:22 PM

When you need a trap right away

Just, lol.

So do I go forward then?

LOL!

02-02-2002, 09:14 PM	#1
samwise of the shire Radically Tolkienited Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: If home is where the heart is, and my heart is in heaven...that should answer your question. <+>< Posts: 967	Want some laughs? :D These were actual LABELS on store products. How stupid do manufactureers are or do we live in a sue happy generation or what. Still an exellent laugh. Enjoy. On a Sear's hairdryer: > "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) > > On a bag of Fritos: > "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special) > > On a bar of Dial soap: > "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how ...?) > > On some Swanson frozen dinners: > "Serving suggestion: Defrost." > > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): > "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!) > > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: > "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .) > > On packaging for a Rowenta iron: > "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) > > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: > "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) > > On Nytol Sleep Aid: > "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.) > > On most brands of Christmas lights: > "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?) > > On a Japanese food processor: > "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.) > > On Sainsbury's peanuts: > "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.) > > On an American Airlines packet of nuts: > "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." ( Step 3: Fly Delta.) > > On a child's superman costume: > "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.) > > On a Swedish chainsaw: > "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My Goodness! Are Swedes that much tougher than we are?) I got this off my Mom's e-mail. Hope it made you laugh as much as it did me. Sam __________________ Jesus is my all in all <><+<><+<><+<><+<><+<><+ People who are so concerned with escapism do have a name...we call them jailers. ~J.R.R Tolkien Radically Saved, Totally Tolkienited GOD... BLESS... AMERICA... Last edited by samwise of the shire : 02-02-2002 at 09:16 PM.

02-02-2002, 09:23 PM	#2
Renille Elven Lady of Speed-posting Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the cheese state Posts: 988	Oh my...industry people don't leave a single chance for a stupid lawsuit, do they? __________________ Oh the thinks you can think! Think and wonder and dream...far and wide as you dare! When your thinks have run dry, in the blink of an eye, there's another world there... (from Seussical the Musical. Listen to it...watch it...really.)

02-03-2002, 02:41 AM	#6
Sakata Elven Warrior Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Lothlorien Posts: 216	Thats it, Im getting a sweedish boyfriend __________________ "When evil people come to destroy me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will know no fear." -Psalms 27:2-3 -Dare you venture into Gollum's Lair? JESUS LIVES!

02-03-2002, 02:01 PM	#7
CardenIAntauraNauco Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: rural oklahoma Posts: 324	Notice that it doesn't say anything about using someone else to stop it. __________________ "We will have peace","Yes we will have peace...we will have peace when you and all your works have perished - and the works of your dark lord to whom you would deliver us. You are a liar,Saruman,and a corrupter of men's hearts. You hold out your hand to me and I percieve only a finger of the claw of Mordor. Cruel and cold! Even if your war on me was just - as it was not,for were you ten times as wise you would have no right to rule me and mine, for your own profit you desired-even so, what will you say of your Torches in westfold and the children that lie dead there? And they hewed Hama's body before the gates of Hornburg, after he was dead. When you hang from a gibbet at your window for the sport of your own crows, I will have peace with you and Orthanc. So much for the House of Eorl. A lesser son of greater Sires am I, but I do not need to lick your fingers. Turn elsewither for I fear your voice has lost it's charm.

02-03-2002, 02:04 PM	#8
CardenIAntauraNauco Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: rural oklahoma Posts: 324	No it's very possible that they meant "digitals" as in fingers and they simply didn't think of the correct word __________________ "We will have peace","Yes we will have peace...we will have peace when you and all your works have perished - and the works of your dark lord to whom you would deliver us. You are a liar,Saruman,and a corrupter of men's hearts. You hold out your hand to me and I percieve only a finger of the claw of Mordor. Cruel and cold! Even if your war on me was just - as it was not,for were you ten times as wise you would have no right to rule me and mine, for your own profit you desired-even so, what will you say of your Torches in westfold and the children that lie dead there? And they hewed Hama's body before the gates of Hornburg, after he was dead. When you hang from a gibbet at your window for the sport of your own crows, I will have peace with you and Orthanc. So much for the House of Eorl. A lesser son of greater Sires am I, but I do not need to lick your fingers. Turn elsewither for I fear your voice has lost it's charm.

02-02-2002, 09:43 PM	#4
*gdl96* the greg the admin Join Date: Sep 1999 Location: NJ Posts: 2,101	rotflmao

02-04-2002, 08:50 AM	#9
athelas Enting Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: The Twilight Meres Posts: 87	Ahh...Japan. Home of sushi, cutesy anime and English that makes one cringe.... __________________ Farewell sweet earth and nortern sky, for ever blest,since here did lie and here with lissom limbs did run beneath the Moon, beneath the Sun, Lùthien Tinùviel more fair than mortal tongue can tell. Though all to ruin fell the world and were dissolved and backward hurled unmade into old abyss, yet were its making good, for this-- the dusk, the dawn, the earth, the sea-- that Lùthien for a time should be. "I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam."-Frodo FRODO LIVES!!! (erm...Sam does too, right?)

02-04-2002, 07:41 PM	#10
samwise of the shire Radically Tolkienited Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: If home is where the heart is, and my heart is in heaven...that should answer your question. <+>< Posts: 967	This'ns my favorite: On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.) Or On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!). LOLROFLMBO. You guys should have heard the computer stories that we got. One woman had a porblem with the foot generator on her computer. Turns out that"foot run genrator"was the MOUSE. And another guy had a problem with the dust protecter on the mouse. It wouldn't let him move it across the pad....no suprise as the "dust cover"was actually the wrapper the mouse came in. Sam __________________ Jesus is my all in all <><+<><+<><+<><+<><+<><+ People who are so concerned with escapism do have a name...we call them jailers. ~J.R.R Tolkien Radically Saved, Totally Tolkienited GOD... BLESS... AMERICA...

02-04-2002, 09:43 PM	#11
mirrille Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Canada Posts: 479	I just noticed this on the back of a little notebook that I have. "Toto Bear: To To Bear has a simple mind that works in slow-motion. he is uncomplicated and lacks sophistication." And above it is a cute little picture of a white teddy bear watering a pot of flowers. It's a really cute notebook.

02-05-2002, 07:12 PM	#12
Twilight Elven Warrior Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Wilmore, KY Posts: 269	I like the japenese food processor one. It leaves much to the imagination. Although it is hard to compete with the Swedish one. I think that the scariest thing is if you look at the lable to see what is actually inside of a food product. You can find a lot of surprising ingredients. __________________ Sometimes I wonder how many monkeys with typewritters it would take to reproduce what I just wrote.

02-05-2002, 09:22 PM	#13
mirrille Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Canada Posts: 479	If you want more... Take a look at this site, if you've never seen it. It had me in stitches. http://www.engrish.com/

02-07-2002, 07:03 PM	#14
Laurelyn Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Valinor, right next to Telperion . . . what did you expect, Michigan? Posts: 1,315	LOL!!! These are HILARIOUS!!!!! " On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.) " What?? It causes drowsiness? But I wanted to stay up all night . . . __________________ The Third Age of Entmoot has begun. Angel of music, guide and guardian! Grant to me your glory! The country I eat and spend the day in is by no means the country I sleep and dream in. Define patriotism. Hold the boat, you spastic monkey! ~ Elenka Last edited by Laurelyn : 02-07-2002 at 07:04 PM.

02-07-2002, 07:18 PM	#15
Sakata Elven Warrior Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Lothlorien Posts: 216	LOL thats a great site! __________________ "When evil people come to destroy me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will know no fear." -Psalms 27:2-3 -Dare you venture into Gollum's Lair? JESUS LIVES!

02-07-2002, 11:34 PM	#16
Evenstar Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Neverneverland Posts: 215	Re: Want some laughs? :D On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." Ohh..cause I always eat my meals frozen!! On packaging for a Rowenta iron: > "Do not iron clothes on body." How stupid would you wanna be!!! Do they really think that people do this???? On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) LOL On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Whats with the "may" cause drowsiness!!! Wouldn't we want one that "will" cause drowsiness??? On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (cause I always put my Christmas lights....???) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (What other use??) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Well tie me up all call me Betty) __________________ "Frodo, Mr Frodo," he called. "Don't leave me here alone. It's your Sam calling. Don't you go where I can't follow." FRODO LIVES !!!!

02-08-2002, 08:21 AM	#17
Aragorn Elven Warrior Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Anywhere but where I should be. Posts: 369	Ties Evenstar up and calls her Betty. __________________ And they carried them to the flatlands But they died along the way And they built up with their bare hands What we still can't do today. EIDRIORCQWSDAKLMEDDCWWTIWOATTOPWFIO till the day I die.

02-08-2002, 11:18 AM	#18
*Tessar* Master and Wielder of the Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ Posts: 6,433	On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." maybe thats ment for peopel who normaly live in another dimention? that or they are just trying to keep NASA from decorating their space ships

02-08-2002, 04:22 PM	#20
Aragorn Elven Warrior Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Anywhere but where I should be. Posts: 369	When you need a trap right away Just, lol. So do I go forward then? LOL! __________________ And they carried them to the flatlands But they died along the way And they built up with their bare hands What we still can't do today. EIDRIORCQWSDAKLMEDDCWWTIWOATTOPWFIO till the day I die.

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