Martial arts: every thing thread

[afro-elf]

TO ONE WHO WOULD ATTACK ME IN THIS MANNER

Actually, I do owe you an apology here. I did not place the after the Onara atama.

But, I don't think it would have made a difference. I was truly engaging in some friendly banter. Then moving on to something that we agreed upon.

I was not attempting to be rude or unfriendly. But the situation seems to always to be construed that way.

I guess that there is too much bad blood between us. And there is probably some cultural and generation differences also.

I have tried several times in the past to breach this gap in several ways. But, it seems to elicit same respone.

It seems that the red light always goes off and getting passed the past seems to have come to a cul de sac.

I find that to be a loss.

[Spock]

I don't persue. I don't persuade. And I don't compete. When it comes to confrontational situations and something must be done, I Avoid in most situations by physically moving or plain not being ther. To the extreme of devestation and wholesale conrolled mayhem. I let the attacker set the tone as a result of "mushin".
.......................remember the old Hulk line.........."please don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." nuf said.

[afro-elf]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Spock
[B]

Originally posted by afro-elf
General thoughts

So if someone suddenly and randomly attacks your wife and children, then running would be the best way to defend them??THIS PRESUMES I AM PRESENT? FIRST TRY TO DEFLECT THE ATTACT OR ATTACKERS; FIND OUT WHAT THEIR OBJECTIVE IS. BARING THAT STRIKE OUT AT THE FIRST AND CLOSEST PERSON LAYING T HEM OUT ACROSS THE FIELD OF FOLLOWERS. USE TECHNIQUES THAT INCAPACITATE NOT JUST INJURE OR YOU'LL BE FIGHTING THESE PEOPLE OVER AGAIN VERY SHORTLY.

WHEN FACED WITH A WALL OR A BLOCKED EXCAPE ROUTE YOU MUST DEVISE A WAY THROUGH, A WAY AROUND OR DECIDE TO MAKE YOUR STAND AND TAKE ANY MEASURE NECESSARY TO DESTROY THOSE WHO COME AT YOU THOUGH IT MAY MEAN INJURY TO BOTH SIDES. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO INTERFERE IN YOUR DAILY LIVES IF THEY BE HONESTLY BEING PERSUED. *Avoid, distract, injure, mame, break, kill. Those are the orde and the options open in such scenarios.

Again, I concur.


Just no turning invisible with ninja magic ok

Smiley's added this time.

[Spock]

Just no turning invisible with ninja magic ok

Smiley's added this time. [/B][/QUOTE]


21st Century is no hollow eggs with potiions but highly concentrated cyan pepper in spray form. Also makes disappearance easier when oponent cannot see. Ninja's do not
conform to rules but rather adapt weapos to go around rules.

[afro-elf]

my mentor is not you

Maybe this is where the perceptional differences are occuring.

Spock, I have never thought of you as anything accept a peer.

Maybe one with a "itchy trigger" finger at times

But at least the last few post seems we might not be that far apart.

[Spock]

Originally posted by Giroth
oyoh!

I am your mentor................respect me.........and challenge me to a duel!hiyee!

You have never been my mentor nor are you now. I do not challenge or accept challenges. If you should force a confrontation at an inopportune moment be on notice it will be over in the shortest and most devestating time of your life; so that I may continue on my life, peacefully.

[afro-elf]

Originally posted by Spock
Just no turning invisible with ninja magic ok

Smiley's added this time.

21st Century is no hollow eggs with potiions but highly concentrated cyan pepper in spray form. Also makes disappearance easier when oponent cannot see. Ninja's do not
conform to rules but rather adapt weapos to go around rules. [/B][/QUOTE]


If we had engaged the ninja discussion like this early then I think things would have been smoother.

What you have post just above is what I was in SUPPORT of as opposed to the wishy washy ninja schools that opened up in the States in the early '80's

[afro-elf]

Was that you are not my mentor remark towards Giroth.


Even if it was, I still consider you a peer.

[Spock]

Originally posted by afro-elf
Was that you are not my mentor remark towards Giroth.
THE POST HAD NO ATTRIBUTE AS TO WHOM IT WAS FROM BUT APPEARED IN A MSG. FOR ME. THEREFORE IT WAS LOGICAL TO PRESUME I HAD THE RIGHT TO REPLY.


Even if it was, I still consider you a peer.

A PEER ISN'T SUCH A BAD THING WHEN USED AS A V.I. BUT I DON'T ACCEPT THE V. USEAGE ALONE.

[Giroth]

LOL i'm not your mentor..I was kidding

but i am your opponent!!!!!!!!!!!i still challenge you......may i warn you,i am very skilled and SHOULD be your mentor!heheheh

[afro-elf]

Spock are they talking about us in the self-hate thread?

I've heard that the traits that humans dislike/are repelled by in other people, are often characteristics that they detest in themselves.

[afro-elf]

Martial Arts Terms

Aikido:

A martial art which allows you to defeat your enemy
without hurting him. Unless of course his does not know
how to ukemi in which case he has his wrist broken in
about 20 places.

Arnis:

"Harness of the hand." A Filpino martial art, also known as
eskrima and kali, centering around stick, blade and empty hand
combat. Mispronanciation of the art guarantees a quick taste.


Bo:

A stick.

Bokken:

A stick that looks like a sword.

Buddhism:

A religious doctrine and a marketing tool to populate asia
with statues of short fat bald men.

Chi:

A biophysical energy generated through breathing techniques,
which in defying the laws of physics and the basic scientific
common sense, allows the user to develop super human
strength.

Dan:

A term used in the Japanese martial arts for anyone who has
achieved the rank of at least first-degree black belt.

Darn:

The sound uttered when the wearer of a Dan realizes that
they will now get hit harder and more frequently during
training.

Dojo:

"The place of the way." A training hall or gymnasium.
Very similar to a B & D parlor but without the mistress.

Hakama:

A skirt sometimes worn in the Martial Arts but we don't
really like to talk about it.

Iaido:

"Way of the sword." The modern art of drawing the
samurai sword from its scabbard. A rather interesting
art developed around the principle of "look how big
mine is".


Judo:

"Gentle way." A Japanese art where grown men roll around
cuddling each other without apparently doing any damage.
These men are often closet Hakama wearers.

Jujitsu:

A lot like judo expect that these boys like to inflict slightly
more damage. Tend to get very angry when accused of being
Hakama wearers and often are heard saying "You gotta a big
mouth"

Karate:

"Empty hand" or "China hand." The primary purpose of
this art is the destruction of wood and other natural
products. Most Karate styles have a placing on Green Peace's
most wanted list. This art will be outlawed by most countries
by the turn of the century. Karate people enjoy pain, this is
shown by their habit of fighting with their fists on their hips.

Kata:

A series of prearranged maneuvers practiced in many of the
Oriental martial arts in order to avoid free sparring or anything
else that may involve pain.

Katana:

A sharp metal stick.

Kendo:

A strange and unusual past-time involving hitting each other
with sticks and making in-human sounds. Could be a cult ??

Kung fu:

A generic term for a majority of the Chinese martial arts.
Many of these arts involve the emulation of animals.
Many students of Pray Mantis spend years attempting to
obtain the other 4 legs while students of Monkey Kung-fu
tend to find themselves being carted off by men in white
lab coats.

Master:

A title bestowed on a martial artist who has attained
advanced rank after long years of study or has started
his own style after achieving kyu grades in at least
4 arts, or has completed the "Become a Master
by Video" course available for only 19.95 per month.

Naginata:

A stick with a sharp bit on the end.

Ninja:

A rather confused individual who likes sneaking around
at night in his pajamas.

Ninjutsu:

The art of being confused and sneaking around in your
pajamas

Sparring:

Bashing each other senseless in the hope that nobody realizes
that you don't know any kata or techniques.

Tae kwon do:

An unusual martial art that relies on its followers to have the
flexibility of a professional ballet dancer.

Tai chi chuan:

Another unusual art that promises ultimate power from moving
very slowly for many years. The drawback being that by
the time you develop the ultimate power you are close to death
anyway.

Tatami:

"Straw mat." A mat usually measuring three by six feet and three
inches thick (with bound straw inside.) Original purpose to
prevent blood stains on the wooden floor.

Three sectional staff:

Three sticks linked together.

Zen:

The discipline of enlightenment related to the Buddhist doctrine that
emphasizes meditation, discipline, and the direct transmission of
teachings from master to student. Mostly taught by rather old
and confused monks who have had one too many rocks fall on
their heads during waterfall meditation. Works best when sitting
in a cave facing a wall for 10 years or so.

[afro-elf]

Can you pick the one you are closest to?

Part One

Common Students that Martial Arts Instructors See
This section taken from a hilarious thread in rec.martial-arts.moderated. You will note some of the student descriptions are similar----I found it funny that I recognized every single one of the "students"---and so I didn't want to drop any of the variations.



Question Lad (aka. What-If?): This guy will bring up every possible permutation for every drill that is being worked. Solution: Make him uki.

Captain Slacker: Dogs the drills and sucks away the stunning dynamic experience that occurs during every class. ;-) Solution: Make him uki.

The Interpreter: Seems to believe that explanations must be altered to so that the masses can understand them. Even when the masses are already doing the drill. Solution: Make him uki.

The Whacker. Selflessly and altruistically strives to make each partner drill ultra-"realistic", for his partner's learning benefit. Leaves a wake of bruises, black eyes, and sprains behind him until he tries it on the wrong person. Solution: trade partners frequently, the right one will come along soon.

The Silver Spoon. Has a unique blind spot that prevents him from seeing anything that needs doing around the dojo. This blind spot is so wide that he can't see an entire dojo floor full of other students with rags cleaning up. Solution: hand him a rag. Or make him uke. Gis make great cleaning rags, with or without a person in them.

The Assistant Insructor. Possessed of a truly amazing learning curve, this specimen has absorbed enough knowledge in six months' study to be able to offer a flawless critique of others' practice. Undeterred by the presence of actual knowledge and experience. Solution: have him do heian shodan. As my sensei told me, "Nobody knows more about karate than a green belt. If you don't believe it, just ask him"

The Vince Lombardi Wannabe: Believes only that a good offense is the best defense. Constantly attacks training partners at full speed to demonstrate this philosophy, leaving confused and disgruntled students in his wake. Solution: He/she feeds the instructor next time.

The Whiner. Common source of "but that huuuuurts!" "I think I need to sit out for a moment," and "that's too hard!" during simple basic partner drills, including all light sparring. Solution: Take two Tylenol and put them back in. They'll either gain a little intestinal fortitude or they'll quit. (Note: the Tylenol is for YOU, not them.) (Note 2: I'm not talking real injury here----I mean the whimpering little whining that happens when someone gets an arm bar put on, so that the pressure on the arm "hurts my arm muscle." Things like that. People who simply canNOT get through an entire class without at least 2 brief class pauses while the instructor checks if the person is really hurt, or just whining yet _again_.) (And yes, I've got one of these. Arg.)

The Toughman. Can take ANY technique, and "tough it out" according to him (it is almost always a him) Pressure points don't work (according to him), locks are something he can handle (according to him), and getting thrown/landed on/smashed/crushed/mangled is something where he can "take the pain, suck it up, and shrug it off." No matter what. Solution: make him uki MORE.

The Cross-trainer. "White belt, you need to adjust your stance this way." "But sir, this is the way we did it in the last tkd/karate/aikido/judo/whatever class I was in. And I've noted you don't do [such and such] technique 'correctly' ---in my last class, the teacher said it was stupid to do it the way you do." Teacher: "Arg. Can I simply kill you now?" Solution: Manage to not show Little Grasshopper why you "do it that way," and simple explain that different classes do it different ways----and in THIS class, we do it MY way.

[Spock]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by afro-elf
[B]Spock are they talking about us in the self-hate thread?


I honestly haven't seen the thread but will take a look at it and see if I concur.

BTW I disagree with most of your definitions but permit a smile as they may be intended humorously. Being part Vulcan has it's drawbacks.

fall easy.

[afro-elf]

Part two

The Primal Male. Women simply canNOT do techniques that would
be effective against this man because, after all, they are women. Smaller, weaker, etc... Solution: Have the smallest high ranking female in class use The Primal Male as demonstration person for joint locks and throws. In front of the new students. (This person is common in many college programs, BTW.)

The Mouth. Has the amazing ability to continue talking while you are standing in front of him stating that he should shut up. (If you're lucky, this only occurs in children's classes.) Solution: His partner gets 10 pushups everytime he opens his mouth.

The Clueless: He's constantly doing stuff wrong. Even the simplest explanations bring a glazed look to his eye as he continues to be unable to improve. Solution: Can't think of a single one. [Ed. Note: Baseball bat. Hey, it is theraputic for the teacher.]

The macho newbie: He's big, he's strong, and he knows it. Furthermore, there's no woman in the whole dojo that he couldn't knock out with his fabulous punch, and he's going to make sure that everyone knows it. Solution: Kick him in the groin. (OK, so you can't really do that if you're the instructor, but you can tell the other students to do it!)

The macho old-timer: He's big, he's strong, and he's been doing this a long time. Ain't no one in the place that better *ever* beat him at a drill, or they will pay the concequences. Solution: Kick him in the groin (Hey, Don got to use solutions over! , and then quickly move on to the next partner.
The "in my previous dojo"'er: Need I say more? Solution: send him on to his next dojo.

Ninja Bob: is pretty sure that he is training to become a covert agent, and wants constant reassurance of the deadlyness of his/her endeavors.

Every sifu's best friend: wants to be your 'best' student, but unfortunately can't deal with training in the group. It's not his fault really, but he's a kick ass private student at the no contact level. (you guys can call this "The Maurice" if you want)

[afro-elf]

part 3

Satori Man. Has read every single book or article ever written on Zen and martial arts. Owns stock in Shambala. Has never actually done zazen. Quotes koans at every opportunity. Believes Morihei Ueshiba was God. Believes Morihei Ueshiba was a Buddhist. Is fond of expounding about how "X" is not a "real martial art" because it lacks a "spiritual component" Solution: Invite your friend Charlie, who has been teaching "X" for a couple of decades, to the dojo to teach a surprise special seminar...and thereby acquaint Satori Man with his own spiritual component by making him uke.

Variant 1 on Satori Man: all this and has never done any MA training. Solution: make him stop talking and practice. He'll go away. I recall one kid who rebelled at being forced to hold the shinai with a right-handed grip. He'd read Go Rin No Sho and according to him, Musashi didn't do it that way. He lasted 2 classes.

Jutsu Man. Flip side of "Satori Man". Believes he is the reincarnation of Miyamoto Musashi, John L. Sullivan, and Attila the Hun. Is dismissive of many "-do" forms because they "aren't practical" have "all that spirituality bullshit", or are "just sports". Believes women "can't fight for ****". Solution: Invite a small, female, godan in Judo to teach him the meaning of the term "kata guruma"...and make him uke.

The Ogler. The woman who is so busy oogling at the guys, she's not paying attention to what you're trying to teach her. In my experience, these are always beginners. One possible solution is to pair her up with a guy, ideally one of the guys she's oogling. That way, at least, I can go off and teach someone else or practice with someone who wants to train. Another solution is to throw her quickly and rather than help support the fall, let her weight drop completely. Doesn't leave quite the same bruises as punching, but can be pretty punishing all the same. Of course, *I* would never do this.

The Drifter: Comes to class once every couple of months. Is completely clueless about the material currently being studied, but wants to be promoted to the next belt. solution: Relocate the dojo every once in a while. (Thats what my Sensei does)

The Hasbeen: used to practice five or ten years ago, and has now returned. Thinks he knows just as much as the advanced students that studied with him then and haven't stopped. Tries very hard to prove he is just as good as them by using lots of force while doing the techniques. Solution: pair him up with one of said students.

[afro-elf]

part 4

Mr. Agreeable: Yes, he understands. Yes, the drill makes sense, sure. Sure, keep it slow, watch the contact. (smile, nod) Oh, like that, right. ...Proceeds (as soon as your back is turned) to, in dazed confusion, invent his own damn drill, thank you very much, fast, out of control, and not at all similar to the original.

Ms. I'm-tough-'cuz-I-do-karate. She likes to think she's tough, but anytime someone makes even a little bit of contact, she's going to complain to anyone that will listen. This is to be contrasted with the women who *are* there to train, and say nothing about the multiple bruises they take home every night from the macho-newbie and the macho-old-timer. Solution: Hit her really hard and tell her to stop being such a wuss when she complains. The phrase "It's karate/judo/etc., it's supposed to hurt a little bit" should be used often. Solution: every single time, without exception, pair Ms. Selfdefense with #4, The Whacker. This will necessitate her learning to "whack" back.

Ms. Self-Defense. She's read too many RMA threads, and truely believes that her intelligence will get her out of any struggle she may encounter. And if her intelligence doesn't work, then her legs will, because after all, women's legs are stronger than men's. Solution: Put her one on one with one of the smaller guys, and tell her to defend herself. 19 times out of 20, she'll find that her legs and her intelligence don't matter too awefully much. Every single time, without exception, pair Ms. I'm-tough-'cuz-I- do-karate with #9, the macho newbie. She will probably eventually get pissed off enough to WANT to let him have it.
The glass menagerie: think that they should be able to learn how to fight without ever falling down, getting bruised or otherwise experiencing physical discomfort. Never fully commits to a technique, holds back and typically ends up being one of the first people to experience an injury. (Usually from not committing to the movement properly) Solution: time...they either learn or leave.

The natural: has natural athletic ability which really does help him or her in the learning of MA. Is frequently lazy, however, since it doesn't seem that hard to learn. This person frequently gets bored and ends up leaving without fulfilling their potential. Solution: find something that challenges them (and make them uke?)

Eclectic Man. Has done thirty other arts for one class apiece. Is just killing time until he can create his own martial art and associated web site (whose address he will repeatedly post to RMA). Hopes to be inducted to the "World Martial Arts Hall of Fame" as "Supreme Grandmaster of the Year" before his 23rd birthday. Immediate response to any drill is "In Armenian Tae Kung Kara Aikikenpojujutsu, they do X instead". Thinks you are jealous because his uniform has more patches on it than yours does. Solution: Make him uke. Preferably for "the Whacker" ;-)

[afro-elf]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Spock
[B]

Originally posted by afro-elf
Spock are they talking about us in the self-hate thread?


I honestly haven't seen the thread but will take a look at it and see if I concur.

BTW I disagree with most of your definitions but permit a smile as they may be intended humorously. Being part Vulcan has it's drawbacks.

fall easy.

I did not mean the WHOLE thread I only meant the part I posted above.

Humor was the intent.

[Spock]

A.E. stop already, my sides are splitting from the stereotypes found in dojo's today. Indeed I too have experienced many of them. Some I've never heard of but they make sense.

BTW I don't think it's us in the self-hate thread. WE enjoy ourselves just as we are.

Oh, My best lesson in what women can do is when a 4'9" blonde used me as uke when I was 1st Brown, many, many eons ago. She was left standing and smiling while I got to admire the texture of the mat.

[afro-elf]

From the list I am most like

Question Lad (aka. What-If?): This guy will bring up every possible permutation for every drill that is being worked. Solution: Make him uki.

I would have said Jutsu Man HOWEVER I am well aware I am not Attilla etc... AND I know some women who rock. The teacher I seriously studied with ( a LONG time ago) is a woman. Now she is Attilla.

She is 5'2'' and her now ex-husband is 6'3''. They had an agrument that got physical one day; she was unscathed and he had his arm in cast.