"Headlines" of the Ancient Times

Grey_Wolf · 11-12-2002, 08:09 AM

An example...

Young Man Crucified By the Romans

...Makes Miraculuos Recovery

Another example...

Old Man Saves Hundreds of People And Animals From Worldwide Deluge

...Sends Out A Dove In Search of Land And Finds It!

Arathorn · 11-12-2002, 09:59 AM

French Hostess Insists On Cake..
...Will Lose More than Just Head

Dismemberment starts at 11.

Coney · 11-12-2002, 10:52 AM

SIR DOUGLAS HAIG SHOCKS MILLIONS!!

As he reveals battle plan (Sept 10 1918). Soldiers demand "Why weren't we told of a plan earlier?"

Grey_Wolf · 11-12-2002, 02:18 PM

Young Warrior Soon To Be King Defeats Giant With Slingshot!

Shouting Brought Down Walls

Volcano Erupts Covering City In Hot Ash
- thousands killed by noxious fumes and deadly downpour.

This in now from the State of Kiev:

After Futile Attack On Constantinople, Igor Makes Trade Agreement With Byzantium

And in other parts of the world:

Mongols Victorious At River Battle

Henry the Quarrelsome Deprived of His Duchy

BeardofPants · 11-12-2002, 02:26 PM

Rameses victorious at Quadesh! (Or was it the other way around?)

Coney · 11-12-2002, 05:22 PM

HORSE ROMPS HOME IN THE ELECTION RACE

Caligula's favourite wins military title.

WELLINGTON GIVES NAPOLEON THE BOOT

Reactions from the Waterloo battlefield

Treebeard's apprentice · 11-12-2002, 06:17 PM

CEASAR'S GAY LOVER
See Him Caught on the Beaches of Sicily!
Exclusive pictures only in Roman Times magazine

--or--

RIOT BREAKS OUT AT COLLISEUM
Cause Believed to be Overpriced Mead

***IronParrot*** · 11-12-2002, 09:25 PM

SOCRATES EXECUTED
But we don't know that for a fact

Coney · 11-12-2002, 09:29 PM

JESUS SAVES!

But Lucifer scores on the rebound.

***IronParrot*** · 11-12-2002, 09:32 PM

That's an oldie but goodie, heh.

Opinion: PYRAMID CONSTRUCTION A WASTE OF IMPERIAL FUNDS
Pharaohs don't seem to get the point

Coney · 11-12-2002, 09:35 PM

HADRIAN BUILDS WALL!

Disgruntled gardeners threaten strike!

***IronParrot*** · 11-12-2002, 09:39 PM

GREEK ALLIANCE SACKS TROY
Value of gold in Troy ounces fluctuates

Coney · 11-12-2002, 09:47 PM

ACHILLES FALLS!

Rumours of old foot disability grow.

***IronParrot*** · 11-12-2002, 09:51 PM

MASSIVE FLOODS COVER KNOWN WORLD
God sought by authorities for questioning

Coney · 11-12-2002, 09:56 PM

JUDAS UPSETS THE CHRIST!

At a pleasant supper Judas Iscariot spilled the salt, Jesus,after a mere moment of disgruntlement, said to be "forgiving".

Treebeard's apprentice · 11-12-2002, 10:20 PM

PIGEONS TAUGHT TO CARRY MESSAGES
Experts Say This Will Revolutionize Communications
"This will make the world seem even smaller than it is already"

In a related story:

CITIZENS WARNED NOT TO SEND MESSAGES WHILE DRIVING A CHARIOT
Claimed to be Leading Cause of Chariot Crashes

Arathorn · 11-12-2002, 10:59 PM

Man Claims To Have Proven World Is Round
Authorities still insist he sneaked eastward after a well-publicized sendoff in the west coast.

Treebeard's apprentice · 11-13-2002, 03:14 AM

COMPLETION NEARS ON PYRAMIDS OF GIZA
Local Teen Hopes To See Them Finished Before He Dies

NEW INVENTION: WHEEL REVEALED AT WORLD EXPO
Now If Only We Can Find A Practical Use . . .

Arathorn · 11-13-2002, 06:00 AM

RE Switches To New Currency
The Roman Empire formally launched it's new Romeo coinage bearing the Ceasar's likeness. Although there was some resistance in Gaul, it was finally accepted with open arms after a few public crucifixions.

***Earniel*** · 11-13-2002, 01:47 PM

BREAKING NEWS: Dinosaurs bite the dust!
Will mammals become the new dominant species?

11-12-2002, 08:09 AM	#1
Grey_Wolf Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden Posts: 9,481	"Headlines" of the Ancient Times An example... Young Man Crucified By the Romans ...Makes Miraculuos Recovery Another example... Old Man Saves Hundreds of People And Animals From Worldwide Deluge ...Sends Out A Dove In Search of Land And Finds It!

11-12-2002, 09:59 AM	#2
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	ok then... French Hostess Insists On Cake.. ...Will Lose More than Just Head Dismemberment starts at 11. __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures... Last edited by Arathorn : 11-12-2002 at 10:01 AM.

11-12-2002, 10:52 AM	#3
Coney The Buddy Rabbit Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Trapped in the headlights.. Posts: 3,372	World War 1 SIR DOUGLAS HAIG SHOCKS MILLIONS!! As he reveals battle plan (Sept 10 1918). Soldiers demand "Why weren't we told of a plan earlier?" __________________ Blessed are the cracked, they let the light in Beatallica

11-12-2002, 02:18 PM	#4
Grey_Wolf Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden Posts: 9,481	Young Warrior Soon To Be King Defeats Giant With Slingshot! Shouting Brought Down Walls Volcano Erupts Covering City In Hot Ash - thousands killed by noxious fumes and deadly downpour. This in now from the State of Kiev: After Futile Attack On Constantinople, Igor Makes Trade Agreement With Byzantium And in other parts of the world: Mongols Victorious At River Battle Henry the Quarrelsome Deprived of His Duchy Last edited by Grey_Wolf : 11-13-2002 at 08:54 AM.

11-12-2002, 02:26 PM	#5
BeardofPants the Shrike Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA <3 Posts: 10,647	Rameses victorious at Quadesh! (Or was it the other way around?) __________________ "Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords

11-12-2002, 05:22 PM	#6
Coney The Buddy Rabbit Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Trapped in the headlights.. Posts: 3,372	HORSE ROMPS HOME IN THE ELECTION RACE Caligula's favourite wins military title. WELLINGTON GIVES NAPOLEON THE BOOT Reactions from the Waterloo battlefield __________________ Blessed are the cracked, they let the light in Beatallica Last edited by Coney : 11-12-2002 at 06:34 PM.

11-12-2002, 06:17 PM	#7
Treebeard's apprentice Elven Warrior Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Wherever I may roam Posts: 207	CEASAR'S GAY LOVER See Him Caught on the Beaches of Sicily! Exclusive pictures only in Roman Times magazine --or-- RIOT BREAKS OUT AT COLLISEUM Cause Believed to be Overpriced Mead

11-12-2002, 09:25 PM	#8
*IronParrot* Fowl Administrator Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Calgary or Edmonton, Canada Posts: 53,420	SOCRATES EXECUTED But we don't know that for a fact __________________ All of IronParrot's posts are guaranteed to be 100% intelligent and/or sarcastic, comprising no genetically modified content and tested on no cute furry little animals unless the SPCA is looking elsewhere. If you observe a failure to uphold this warranty, please contact a forum administrator immediately to receive a full refund on your Entmoot registration. Blog: Nick's Café Canadien

11-12-2002, 09:29 PM	#9
Coney The Buddy Rabbit Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Trapped in the headlights.. Posts: 3,372	JESUS SAVES! But Lucifer scores on the rebound. __________________ Blessed are the cracked, they let the light in Beatallica

11-12-2002, 09:32 PM	#10
*IronParrot* Fowl Administrator Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Calgary or Edmonton, Canada Posts: 53,420	That's an oldie but goodie, heh. Opinion: PYRAMID CONSTRUCTION A WASTE OF IMPERIAL FUNDS Pharaohs don't seem to get the point __________________ All of IronParrot's posts are guaranteed to be 100% intelligent and/or sarcastic, comprising no genetically modified content and tested on no cute furry little animals unless the SPCA is looking elsewhere. If you observe a failure to uphold this warranty, please contact a forum administrator immediately to receive a full refund on your Entmoot registration. Blog: Nick's Café Canadien

11-12-2002, 09:35 PM	#11
Coney The Buddy Rabbit Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Trapped in the headlights.. Posts: 3,372	HADRIAN BUILDS WALL! Disgruntled gardeners threaten strike! __________________ Blessed are the cracked, they let the light in Beatallica

11-12-2002, 09:39 PM	#12
*IronParrot* Fowl Administrator Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Calgary or Edmonton, Canada Posts: 53,420	GREEK ALLIANCE SACKS TROY Value of gold in Troy ounces fluctuates __________________ All of IronParrot's posts are guaranteed to be 100% intelligent and/or sarcastic, comprising no genetically modified content and tested on no cute furry little animals unless the SPCA is looking elsewhere. If you observe a failure to uphold this warranty, please contact a forum administrator immediately to receive a full refund on your Entmoot registration. Blog: Nick's Café Canadien

11-12-2002, 09:47 PM	#13
Coney The Buddy Rabbit Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Trapped in the headlights.. Posts: 3,372	ACHILLES FALLS! Rumours of old foot disability grow. __________________ Blessed are the cracked, they let the light in Beatallica

11-12-2002, 09:51 PM	#14
*IronParrot* Fowl Administrator Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Calgary or Edmonton, Canada Posts: 53,420	MASSIVE FLOODS COVER KNOWN WORLD God sought by authorities for questioning __________________ All of IronParrot's posts are guaranteed to be 100% intelligent and/or sarcastic, comprising no genetically modified content and tested on no cute furry little animals unless the SPCA is looking elsewhere. If you observe a failure to uphold this warranty, please contact a forum administrator immediately to receive a full refund on your Entmoot registration. Blog: Nick's Café Canadien

11-12-2002, 09:56 PM	#15
Coney The Buddy Rabbit Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Trapped in the headlights.. Posts: 3,372	JUDAS UPSETS THE CHRIST! At a pleasant supper Judas Iscariot spilled the salt, Jesus,after a mere moment of disgruntlement, said to be "forgiving". __________________ Blessed are the cracked, they let the light in Beatallica

11-12-2002, 10:20 PM	#16
Treebeard's apprentice Elven Warrior Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Wherever I may roam Posts: 207	PIGEONS TAUGHT TO CARRY MESSAGES Experts Say This Will Revolutionize Communications "This will make the world seem even smaller than it is already" In a related story: CITIZENS WARNED NOT TO SEND MESSAGES WHILE DRIVING A CHARIOT Claimed to be Leading Cause of Chariot Crashes Last edited by Treebeard's apprentice : 11-12-2002 at 10:21 PM.

11-12-2002, 10:59 PM	#17
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	Man Claims To Have Proven World Is Round Authorities still insist he sneaked eastward after a well-publicized sendoff in the west coast. __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...

11-13-2002, 03:14 AM	#18
Treebeard's apprentice Elven Warrior Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Wherever I may roam Posts: 207	COMPLETION NEARS ON PYRAMIDS OF GIZA Local Teen Hopes To See Them Finished Before He Dies NEW INVENTION: WHEEL REVEALED AT WORLD EXPO Now If Only We Can Find A Practical Use . . .

11-13-2002, 06:00 AM	#19
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	RE Switches To New Currency The Roman Empire formally launched it's new Romeo coinage bearing the Ceasar's likeness. Although there was some resistance in Gaul, it was finally accepted with open arms after a few public crucifixions. __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...

11-13-2002, 01:47 PM	#20
*Earniel* The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium) Posts: 14,363	BREAKING NEWS: Dinosaurs bite the dust! Will mammals become the new dominant species? __________________ We are not things.

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