Hurting Your Friends

olsonm · 08-28-2002, 05:21 AM

Have you ever hurt your friend's feelings wthout meaning to? I just did and it's a horrible feeling.

I think it's best to apologize and then leave them alone for a bit til they can forgive you. But it's hard to wait for that. Do you think it's best to wait for them to come to you when they're ready or should you go to them to see if they're still mad? I suppose it depends but is there a general rule of decorum on this?

Andúril · 08-28-2002, 05:47 AM

A couple years back I had "feelings" for this chick, but she just wanted to be friends. So I tried to be "just friends" but that didn't work. So one day, we had a minuscule misunderstanding, and I never saw her again.

She told me, on more than one occasion, that I was her best friend (during our three year friendhsip/relationship), and twice she said we were soul mates.

She thought that she did something wrong that day, to make me leave and never speak to/see her again. But that wasn't the case.

I spoke to her on Monday.

Spock · 08-28-2002, 10:59 AM

If you realize the error was yours, do not wait. As life goes along friends become less and less. Experience teaches us to trust less not more (all liberals are exempt from this generality).
Tell your friend of your error and sorrow that is has hurt his/her feelings. Then you can let them sort it all out at least knowing you've done what is correct and forthright in a meaningful way.

ArwenEvenstar · 08-28-2002, 01:25 PM

I KNOW YOUR PAIN!! I'm horrible for hurting people's feelings accidently, and having it happen back. I think it takes a true friend to rush back and apoligize ASAP.

Sween · 08-28-2002, 02:08 PM

believe it or not but i can be quite insensative sometimes

Elven Archer · 08-28-2002, 03:07 PM

I've hurt my friend's feelings a bunch of times without meaning too.I felt realy bad about it but we talked and then she understood. But then she hurt me really bad and it took a while to get over what she said. So i think it kinda depends on how bad their feelings were hurt.

samwiselvr2008 · 08-28-2002, 09:12 PM

I did that to my friend on aug. 6th at meet the teacher thingy at school, and i just apolagized and we both mooved on and didn't ceer, she was very understanding! I don't know about your friend, but try to apolagize and see what happens, one time it took a couple of days with me and my friend, but that was a fight that we had because we misunderstood eachother.

Erawyn · 08-28-2002, 11:57 PM

Since i have no tact, and i don't think before i speak most of the time, i do a lot, and its horrible, but usually i get mad when they get mad, and it makes it a lot worse. If i just apologized right away my life would be a lot easier. So thats what i think everyone should usually do!

Archbob the Elder · 08-29-2002, 12:51 AM

I usually don't hurt feelings, everyone is used to me, I usually don't say mean things and if I do, everyone knows its a joke since all my friend consider me passive.

Andúril · 08-29-2002, 05:29 AM

Fallings out with friends is extremely rare for me. In fact, I've only had two, both times with the same chick.

And both times (in '98 and '99), on her birthday.

Luckily I don't have friends anymore, so I can't mess around with people's emotions like that.

ArwenEvenstar · 08-29-2002, 10:43 AM

Anduril my care-o-meter says:

not problem

Lizra · 08-29-2002, 11:02 AM

I agree with Spock. The older you get, the less friends you have. Most of them are the "fairweather" type. Apologize (repeatedly if necessary!) and have lots of fun with them now!

It's true, Blood runs thicker than water!

jerseydevil · 08-29-2002, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sween
believe it or not but i can be quite insensative sometimes

That IS surprsing.

I would never have guessed.

Rána Eressëa · 08-29-2002, 05:48 PM

The only feelings I've ever hurt (or offended) was when I starting making atheist jokes one day to some Christian friends.

Apparently they didn't agree with my sense of humor.

Artanis · 08-30-2002, 05:18 AM

I think the best thing to do after hurting someone is to apologize as soon as possible, and then be around until the other person is ready to make friends again, even if it takes a very long time.

Quote:

It's true, Blood runs thicker than water!

I don't know about that. My mom and my aunt hasn't spoken to each other for more than 10 years, and they're sisters. Another aunt of mine has had no contact with her son in more than 15 years.

It seems that the one you love most, is the one you hurt most as well.

Sween · 08-30-2002, 05:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rána Eressëa
The only feelings I've ever hurt (or offended) was when I starting making atheist jokes one day to some Christian friends.

Apparently they didn't agree with my sense of humor.

we've all done that

shadara · 08-30-2002, 06:34 AM

Speaking of Christianity... there's a little funny thing I like to remember on occasion.

Evangelist
Evingelast
Evilgenast
Evilsenagt
Evilsanegt
Evilsagent
Evil's Agent

Another one is where you turn "Desperation" into "A Rope Ends It"

osszie · 08-30-2002, 07:04 AM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Artanis
[B]I think the best thing to do after hurting someone is to apologize as soon as possible, and then be around until the other person is ready to make friends again, even if it takes a very long time.

yep.......nothing ever gets resolved by keeping you're mouth closed

some friends tend to come and go but it's a bit of a bassa when some leave on a sour note.

these day's I do my best to keep the good ones

Lizra · 08-30-2002, 08:20 AM

Hey Artanis, I'd bet your family's relationships will eventually improve...I could be wrong (hope not

) Sooner or later, one of the sisters will "crack" and break the ice, after a bit of awkwardness, the love will flow!!

Hopefully.

Artanis · 08-30-2002, 08:45 AM

Thanks.

It would be nice if they were to become friends again. But they're so proud and stubborn. It goes in the family

08-28-2002, 05:21 AM	#1
olsonm Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: minneapolis MN Posts: 920	Hurting Your Friends Have you ever hurt your friend's feelings wthout meaning to? I just did and it's a horrible feeling. I think it's best to apologize and then leave them alone for a bit til they can forgive you. But it's hard to wait for that. Do you think it's best to wait for them to come to you when they're ready or should you go to them to see if they're still mad? I suppose it depends but is there a general rule of decorum on this? __________________ Gandalf lives...oh and Frodo too. Haldir Lives!!!

08-28-2002, 10:59 AM	#3
Spock An enigma in a conundrum Join Date: Oct 1999 Posts: 6,476	If you realize the error was yours, do not wait. As life goes along friends become less and less. Experience teaches us to trust less not more (all liberals are exempt from this generality). Tell your friend of your error and sorrow that is has hurt his/her feelings. Then you can let them sort it all out at least knowing you've done what is correct and forthright in a meaningful way. __________________ Vizzini: "HE DIDN'T FALL?! INCONCEIVABLE!!" Inigo: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

08-28-2002, 01:25 PM	#4
ArwenEvenstar Elf Lord Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: and why do YOU want to know? Posts: 685	I KNOW YOUR PAIN!! I'm horrible for hurting people's feelings accidently, and having it happen back. I think it takes a true friend to rush back and apoligize ASAP. __________________ The only thing active about me is my imagination!

08-28-2002, 02:08 PM	#5
Sween im quite stupid Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Cockermouth Posts: 2,058	believe it or not but i can be quite insensative sometimes __________________ Yeah god hes ok but i would rather be judged by a sheep than that idiot

08-28-2002, 03:07 PM	#6
Elven Archer Elven Warrior Join Date: May 2002 Location: America! Posts: 480	I've hurt my friend's feelings a bunch of times without meaning too.I felt realy bad about it but we talked and then she understood. But then she hurt me really bad and it took a while to get over what she said. So i think it kinda depends on how bad their feelings were hurt. __________________ "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: 'it goes on'." ~robert frost

08-28-2002, 05:47 AM	#2
Andúril The Original Corruptor Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,881	A couple years back I had "feelings" for this chick, but she just wanted to be friends. So I tried to be "just friends" but that didn't work. So one day, we had a minuscule misunderstanding, and I never saw her again. She told me, on more than one occasion, that I was her best friend (during our three year friendhsip/relationship), and twice she said we were soul mates. She thought that she did something wrong that day, to make me leave and never speak to/see her again. But that wasn't the case. I spoke to her on Monday.

08-28-2002, 09:12 PM	#7
samwiselvr2008 Elf Lord Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Hobbiton Posts: 739	I did that to my friend on aug. 6th at meet the teacher thingy at school, and i just apolagized and we both mooved on and didn't ceer, she was very understanding! I don't know about your friend, but try to apolagize and see what happens, one time it took a couple of days with me and my friend, but that was a fight that we had because we misunderstood eachother. __________________ Jesus loves you! Movie vewing count from the theater: Return of the King:9 Two Towers: 11 Fellowship: 13 FRODO LIVES!

08-28-2002, 11:57 PM	#8
Erawyn Elven Warrior Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: america junior Posts: 320	Since i have no tact, and i don't think before i speak most of the time, i do a lot, and its horrible, but usually i get mad when they get mad, and it makes it a lot worse. If i just apologized right away my life would be a lot easier. So thats what i think everyone should usually do! __________________ peace never hurt anyone "Be not so bigoted to any custom as to worship it at the expense of Truth." Johann Georg von Zimmermann

08-29-2002, 12:51 AM	#9
Archbob the Elder Enting Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 77	I usually don't hurt feelings, everyone is used to me, I usually don't say mean things and if I do, everyone knows its a joke since all my friend consider me passive. __________________ Get Free Stuff

08-29-2002, 05:29 AM	#10
Andúril The Original Corruptor Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,881	Fallings out with friends is extremely rare for me. In fact, I've only had two, both times with the same chick. And both times (in '98 and '99), on her birthday. Luckily I don't have friends anymore, so I can't mess around with people's emotions like that.

08-29-2002, 10:43 AM	#11
ArwenEvenstar Elf Lord Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: and why do YOU want to know? Posts: 685	Anduril my care-o-meter says: not problem __________________ The only thing active about me is my imagination!

08-29-2002, 11:02 AM	#12
Lizra Domesticated Swing Babe Join Date: May 2002 Location: Reality Posts: 5,340	I agree with Spock. The older you get, the less friends you have. Most of them are the "fairweather" type. Apologize (repeatedly if necessary!) and have lots of fun with them now! It's true, Blood runs thicker than water!

08-29-2002, 05:48 PM	#14
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	The only feelings I've ever hurt (or offended) was when I starting making atheist jokes one day to some Christian friends. Apparently they didn't agree with my sense of humor.

08-30-2002, 06:34 AM	#17
shadara Sapling Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 3	Speaking of Christianity... there's a little funny thing I like to remember on occasion. Evangelist Evingelast Evilgenast Evilsenagt Evilsanegt Evilsagent Evil's Agent Another one is where you turn "Desperation" into "A Rope Ends It"

08-30-2002, 07:04 AM	#18
osszie Elven Warrior Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 409	[QUOTE]Originally posted by Artanis [B]I think the best thing to do after hurting someone is to apologize as soon as possible, and then be around until the other person is ready to make friends again, even if it takes a very long time. yep.......nothing ever gets resolved by keeping you're mouth closed some friends tend to come and go but it's a bit of a bassa when some leave on a sour note. these day's I do my best to keep the good ones

08-30-2002, 08:20 AM	#19
Lizra Domesticated Swing Babe Join Date: May 2002 Location: Reality Posts: 5,340	Hey Artanis, I'd bet your family's relationships will eventually improve...I could be wrong (hope not ) Sooner or later, one of the sisters will "crack" and break the ice, after a bit of awkwardness, the love will flow!! Hopefully.

08-30-2002, 08:45 AM	#20
Artanis Greatest Elven woman of Aman Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Having way too much fun with Fëanor's 7 Posts: 4,285	Thanks. It would be nice if they were to become friends again. But they're so proud and stubborn. It goes in the family __________________ --Life is hard, and then we die.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Do YOUR friends frustrate you?	Elf.Freak	Lord of the Rings Movies	194	09-02-2005 06:53 PM
Why you believe what you believe I	Rían	General Messages	1173	02-01-2005 03:56 PM
frustrating friends 2	Eärloth	Lord of the Rings Movies	19	10-29-2003 03:28 AM
Friends and the Foalókë	Maedhros	Middle Earth	2	05-30-2003 02:14 PM
Uninformed Friends	diannah	Lord of the Rings Books	23	01-02-2003 03:46 PM