People that lie on line.

***Sister Golden Hair*** · 08-19-2002, 10:55 PM

What would you do if you met someone on line and became friends for several years, and then traveled halfway across the country to meet them and found out everything they told you on line was a lie?

This happened to a friend of mine and he was devistated because he really cared for this lady. She cried and appologized for everything and came clean, but he just felt so betrayed and his trust in her was gone.

He forgave her and still speaks to her on the phone and in IMs, but he says that it isn't the same.

I have never got that close to anyone on the internet. I know a lot of people I like but have never felt the need to meet them, although I have spoke to some on the phone.

How would you feel if you had this happen to you. What would you do? I am not sure I would continue the relationship.

Lizra · 08-19-2002, 11:04 PM

I couldn't keep the friendship going. I'd feel like I had wasted all this time and mental energy on a lie! Honesty is crucial to any kind of relationship. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that meeting! How sad. I guess I could forgive her if she cried and came clean, I'd feel sorry for her, but it could never be the same and my interest would be history. Ick!!

galadriel88 · 08-19-2002, 11:04 PM

Well it depends on what kind of a relationship it is. Romantic? I might continue it, if the other party sincerely apologizes and I can seet hat they are truly sorry and are making a conscious effort to gain my trust back. Just friends? It's hard to say. It really depends on the situation. And overall, it would have to be decided on the circumstances.

olsonm · 08-19-2002, 11:12 PM

It depends what they lied about. If they misrepresented themselves in a minor way I could get over it. But if they completely fabricated an on-line persona it'd be tougher to stay friends, as they would become almost a stranger.

BeardofPants · 08-19-2002, 11:16 PM

This happened to a friend of mine that I met over the internet. She comes from Germany, and she went to visit a mutual internet friend in Utah. Anyway, to cut a long story short, the friend in Utah dumped her in an inn, instead of putting her up, as promised, and ignored all her phone calls. Needless to say, she spent three weeks in a small town in the middle of nowhere, with no access to food, entertainment, or people. And believe me, she WAS NOT impressed with this. And on top of that, she's lost a helluva lot of weight from having to walk an hour and a half to the nearest restaurant and back. (In this place she stayed in, there are no taxis or public transport.) She's back in Germany now, and VERY depressed about her experience in Utah, and her weight loss. What makes it even scarier, was that I was going over to Utah in November to visit as well. You can be sure, I'm not going to now!

***Sister Golden Hair*** · 08-19-2002, 11:19 PM

Well, he's a married man, she's a married lady. It was just a good friendship. No romantic interest. She lied about her age her appearence, her children. The problem with their meeting he said was that he got such a surprise when he saw her. He was looking right at her and didn't know it was her, because he had such a different picture of her.

Lizra · 08-19-2002, 11:20 PM

What's with people,

how could you do this to a GUEST! my God, roll out the red carpet....she came across the water, I can't hardly believe she was treated so shabbily. Are you sure you're telling the truth!

Edit: this was to BoP, SGH slid in afterwards.

BeardofPants · 08-19-2002, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lizra
Are you sure you're telling the truth!

Nope!

It's really bad though. She's REALLY depressed about it. And it is bad, because we both spent the last 7 or 8 months talking to each other online, every weekend or so, when we could get the times to stop clashing (NZ, Utah and Germany are SO hard to co-ordinate!) I thought I knew this person so well... and it turned out that she was a major dirtbag! (the one in Utah, that is.)

olsonm · 08-19-2002, 11:25 PM

That's so evil.

I hope your German friend is OK.

***Sister Golden Hair*** · 08-19-2002, 11:28 PM

That is bad, because I think that that can destroy your views of all people on the net. It is hard to know who to trust indeed. Is your friend from Germany and you still trusting of each other? I mean, that is the kind of thing that could really destroy all friendships that you've ever made on the net.

BeardofPants · 08-19-2002, 11:32 PM

Yeah. She's better now. Thank god.

(Good thing you started this thread SGH, otherwise I might have had to start it!)

Yeah: me and the girl from Germany are still trusting of each other. At least from my end. We're both so similar in personality, that it's pretty hard for me to imagine her trying to swindle me. Whereas the girl from Utah WAS different from us in personality. I never pegged her for a love 'em, leave 'em type though.

Geez, sometimes, you think you have someone figured, and then everything turns out to be completely different. All I can say is: People Beware!

***Sister Golden Hair*** · 08-19-2002, 11:40 PM

I absolutely agree with that. BEWARE! I have only been on line for about two years. I have met a lot of nice folks. It would ruin it for me, and I would probably never get on line again if I left myself open and fell victim to something like that.

Shadowfax · 08-20-2002, 01:10 AM

I have never gotten into any knid of relationship over the internet, and I don't know if I want to (I never really have). I dunno. I'm fine with stuff like this - message boards where it doesn't get very personal if you don't want it to ... but I've never really been into the "chat" thing, and getting to KNOW people.

Artanis · 08-20-2002, 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BeardofPants
All I can say is: People Beware!

Yes, a dash of scepticism is needed on line. It is important to remember that you don't really know the people you meet on internet. Not only minor girls need to take care.

I think the opportunity to create yourself a new personality and be a different person on line, is quite fascinating to many people. Here is a chance to explore multiple sides of their personality. Also, I think some people lie about age, looks, family and so on to make sure not to be recognised by anybody. Of course if they do that it's silly to befriend others on the net and propose a meeting.

And there's absolutely NO excuse for the b***** Utah guy.

BeardofPants · 08-20-2002, 07:43 AM

The person from Utah was a female. But still. Absolutely no excuse. You don't take a guest and them dump them in the middle of nowhere.

Artanis · 08-20-2002, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BeardofPants
The person from Utah was a female.

Ah, sorry. Guess I was thinking: Typical male behaviour.

Faramir · 08-20-2002, 10:29 AM

I would block them and try to forget about it. I'd be pretty mad though.

Starr Polish · 08-20-2002, 01:16 PM

Scary stuff. I've never made arrangements to meet anyone that I met online, though I'm in the process of doing it now. We both live in the same state, and we're going to see if we try out for All-State Choir in the same area, and seek each other out, so it won't be like I'm putting myself in a potentially dangerous situation.

I'd never talk to them again.

Renille · 08-20-2002, 01:47 PM

Some people...what do they get out of dragging someone halfway accross the world to say "Haha...you're really gullible!" anyway? I would only meet someone that I had met online if I was within an hour or so from my own home or with another, genuine friend.

Sween · 08-20-2002, 05:54 PM

it depends how you want to pretent yourself. I mean sometimes me and my mates go in chat rooms and pretend to be women and laugh at all the sad perverts.

Its easy to lie online. thats the whole problem not so easy to lie to someones face.

I have met someone off the net b4 she lived in the same town as my cousin and i had talked to her for a year or so and everyopne was at work so i thought may as well texted her and we did. it was fun but a bit awarkward. i would only meet people if it were convient and they didnt scare me.

08-19-2002, 10:55 PM	#1
*Sister Golden Hair* Queen of Nargothrond Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Akron, Ohio - USA Posts: 7,121	People that lie on line. What would you do if you met someone on line and became friends for several years, and then traveled halfway across the country to meet them and found out everything they told you on line was a lie? This happened to a friend of mine and he was devistated because he really cared for this lady. She cried and appologized for everything and came clean, but he just felt so betrayed and his trust in her was gone. He forgave her and still speaks to her on the phone and in IMs, but he says that it isn't the same. I have never got that close to anyone on the internet. I know a lot of people I like but have never felt the need to meet them, although I have spoke to some on the phone. How would you feel if you had this happen to you. What would you do? I am not sure I would continue the relationship.

08-19-2002, 11:04 PM	#3
galadriel88 Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Far off in a dream Posts: 1,166	Well it depends on what kind of a relationship it is. Romantic? I might continue it, if the other party sincerely apologizes and I can seet hat they are truly sorry and are making a conscious effort to gain my trust back. Just friends? It's hard to say. It really depends on the situation. And overall, it would have to be decided on the circumstances. __________________ The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come."

08-19-2002, 11:12 PM	#4
olsonm Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: minneapolis MN Posts: 920	It depends what they lied about. If they misrepresented themselves in a minor way I could get over it. But if they completely fabricated an on-line persona it'd be tougher to stay friends, as they would become almost a stranger. __________________ Gandalf lives...oh and Frodo too. Haldir Lives!!!

08-19-2002, 11:16 PM	#5
BeardofPants the Shrike Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA <3 Posts: 10,647	This happened to a friend of mine that I met over the internet. She comes from Germany, and she went to visit a mutual internet friend in Utah. Anyway, to cut a long story short, the friend in Utah dumped her in an inn, instead of putting her up, as promised, and ignored all her phone calls. Needless to say, she spent three weeks in a small town in the middle of nowhere, with no access to food, entertainment, or people. And believe me, she WAS NOT impressed with this. And on top of that, she's lost a helluva lot of weight from having to walk an hour and a half to the nearest restaurant and back. (In this place she stayed in, there are no taxis or public transport.) She's back in Germany now, and VERY depressed about her experience in Utah, and her weight loss. What makes it even scarier, was that I was going over to Utah in November to visit as well. You can be sure, I'm not going to now! __________________ "Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords

08-19-2002, 11:20 PM	#7
Lizra Domesticated Swing Babe Join Date: May 2002 Location: Reality Posts: 5,340	What's with people, how could you do this to a GUEST! my God, roll out the red carpet....she came across the water, I can't hardly believe she was treated so shabbily. Are you sure you're telling the truth! Edit: this was to BoP, SGH slid in afterwards. Last edited by Lizra : 08-19-2002 at 11:21 PM.

08-19-2002, 11:19 PM	#6
*Sister Golden Hair* Queen of Nargothrond Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Akron, Ohio - USA Posts: 7,121	Well, he's a married man, she's a married lady. It was just a good friendship. No romantic interest. She lied about her age her appearence, her children. The problem with their meeting he said was that he got such a surprise when he saw her. He was looking right at her and didn't know it was her, because he had such a different picture of her.

08-19-2002, 11:25 PM	#9
olsonm Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: minneapolis MN Posts: 920	That's so evil. I hope your German friend is OK. __________________ Gandalf lives...oh and Frodo too. Haldir Lives!!!

08-19-2002, 11:28 PM	#10
*Sister Golden Hair* Queen of Nargothrond Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Akron, Ohio - USA Posts: 7,121	That is bad, because I think that that can destroy your views of all people on the net. It is hard to know who to trust indeed. Is your friend from Germany and you still trusting of each other? I mean, that is the kind of thing that could really destroy all friendships that you've ever made on the net.

08-19-2002, 11:32 PM	#11
BeardofPants the Shrike Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA <3 Posts: 10,647	Yeah. She's better now. Thank god. (Good thing you started this thread SGH, otherwise I might have had to start it!) Yeah: me and the girl from Germany are still trusting of each other. At least from my end. We're both so similar in personality, that it's pretty hard for me to imagine her trying to swindle me. Whereas the girl from Utah WAS different from us in personality. I never pegged her for a love 'em, leave 'em type though. Geez, sometimes, you think you have someone figured, and then everything turns out to be completely different. All I can say is: People Beware! __________________ "Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords Last edited by BeardofPants : 08-19-2002 at 11:33 PM.

08-19-2002, 11:40 PM	#12
*Sister Golden Hair* Queen of Nargothrond Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Akron, Ohio - USA Posts: 7,121	I absolutely agree with that. BEWARE! I have only been on line for about two years. I have met a lot of nice folks. It would ruin it for me, and I would probably never get on line again if I left myself open and fell victim to something like that.

08-20-2002, 01:10 AM	#13
Shadowfax The Fleet-Footed Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: British Columbia Posts: 913	I have never gotten into any knid of relationship over the internet, and I don't know if I want to (I never really have). I dunno. I'm fine with stuff like this - message boards where it doesn't get very personal if you don't want it to ... but I've never really been into the "chat" thing, and getting to KNOW people. __________________ Jesus saved me "To remain ignorant of things that happened before you were born is to remain a child" (Cicero, 106-43 B.C.) "Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth" (Picasso)

08-20-2002, 07:43 AM	#15
BeardofPants the Shrike Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA <3 Posts: 10,647	The person from Utah was a female. But still. Absolutely no excuse. You don't take a guest and them dump them in the middle of nowhere. __________________ "Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords

08-20-2002, 10:29 AM	#17
Faramir Elven Warrior Join Date: May 2002 Location: Ithilien Posts: 353	I would block them and try to forget about it. I'd be pretty mad though. __________________ This is the Window of the Sunset, Henneth Annun, fairest of all the falls of Ithilien, land of many fountains."-Faramir, Chapter IV, The Two Towers ========================== FRODO LIVES!!! ========================== YODA IS DA MAN!!! ========================== I Love Jesus!

08-20-2002, 01:16 PM	#18
Starr Polish Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill Posts: 2,389	Scary stuff. I've never made arrangements to meet anyone that I met online, though I'm in the process of doing it now. We both live in the same state, and we're going to see if we try out for All-State Choir in the same area, and seek each other out, so it won't be like I'm putting myself in a potentially dangerous situation. I'd never talk to them again. __________________ “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell

08-20-2002, 01:47 PM	#19
Renille Elven Lady of Speed-posting Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the cheese state Posts: 988	Some people...what do they get out of dragging someone halfway accross the world to say "Haha...you're really gullible!" anyway? I would only meet someone that I had met online if I was within an hour or so from my own home or with another, genuine friend. __________________ Oh the thinks you can think! Think and wonder and dream...far and wide as you dare! When your thinks have run dry, in the blink of an eye, there's another world there... (from Seussical the Musical. Listen to it...watch it...really.)

08-20-2002, 05:54 PM	#20
Sween im quite stupid Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Cockermouth Posts: 2,058	it depends how you want to pretent yourself. I mean sometimes me and my mates go in chat rooms and pretend to be women and laugh at all the sad perverts. Its easy to lie online. thats the whole problem not so easy to lie to someones face. I have met someone off the net b4 she lived in the same town as my cousin and i had talked to her for a year or so and everyopne was at work so i thought may as well texted her and we did. it was fun but a bit awarkward. i would only meet people if it were convient and they didnt scare me. __________________ Yeah god hes ok but i would rather be judged by a sheep than that idiot

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Philosophy	Noble Elf Lord	General Messages	150	01-25-2011 09:43 PM
Theology III	Earniel	General Messages	1007	07-02-2008 02:22 PM
What's your country like	jerseydevil	General Messages	257	05-30-2005 01:04 AM
Why you believe what you believe I	Rían	General Messages	1173	02-01-2005 03:56 PM
Insane, Weird, Crazy, or Idiotic People	miss_poet	General Messages	62	05-17-2003 06:54 PM