Funny English Notices Around the World

Grey_Wolf · 06-22-2002, 03:29 PM

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served
here.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking.
Here speeching American.

***azalea*** · 06-22-2002, 03:43 PM

LOL those are hilarious! I wonder if some of our signs written in foreign languages sound the same way to them!

BeardofPants · 06-22-2002, 06:24 PM

In a Korean restaurant down the road... (downtown Auckland):

"We do not re-use the food."

(Does that mean that other Korean restaurants DO?!)

***Khamûl*** · 06-22-2002, 10:51 PM

I think you need to check out a website.

www.engrish.com

This site has some hilarious Japanese to English signs and product labels that lost something in the translations. Such as Eric Clapton's name appearing on a CD as "Eric Crapton".

Check it out. It's funny.

Grey_Wolf · 06-23-2002, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Khamûl
I think you need to check out a website.

www.engrish.com

This site has some hilarious Japanese to English signs and product labels that lost something in the translations. Such as Eric Clapton's name appearing on a CD as "Eric Crapton". Check it out. It's funny.

Thanks. l've put in among my favourites now.

Starr Polish · 06-23-2002, 11:10 PM

While I was in Spain I saw a sign for a 'disabled toilet'.

Well, I thought it was funny. Give me a break, I'm seven hours ahead of my time

galadriel88 · 06-23-2002, 11:53 PM

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!! ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is one of the best laughs I've had in a good long while!!!!!!!!!!

Ocarina654 · 06-25-2002, 04:21 PM

Those are hilarious!!! LOL!!!

Christiana · 06-26-2002, 10:30 PM

LOL!!!!!!!

Shadowfax · 06-27-2002, 12:27 AM

Those are sooo funny!

Claenoic · 06-27-2002, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BeardofPants
In a Korean restaurant down the road... (downtown Auckland):

"We do not re-use the food." (Does that mean that other Korean restaurants DO?!)

No, no, no, of course not! That would be just icky! Speaking as a Korean here. We DON'T re-use food. Sure, we may eat things like dried squid, dried seaweed, and seaweed soup, but we wouldn't sink that low.

Sign in Korea:

All travelers please welcome to Korea. Leave your luggage here.

*Very irate* (By the way, Korea is very beautiful. Look at the photos of Jejudo Island. Really pretty place.)

Jinnigan · 06-29-2002, 10:46 PM

*steals some from Engrish.com*

"Sodami (a doll): I could make you feel happy to make you feel my love"

"Mr Friendly (a wallet): He always stays near you and steals in your mind tolead you into a good shituation." <-- no misspellings in there.

"No smorking please."

Christiana · 06-29-2002, 11:14 PM

LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLL!

***Jonathan*** · 08-17-2003, 09:50 AM

Weird signs...
There are many stupid, funny and weird signs all over the world. It can be signs on doors, signs on boxes or signs on bottles.

Like this sign:
We can repair ANYTHING.
Please knock hard on the door -
the bell doesn't work.

It was found on a repair shop door.

Or this sign:
Do not turn upside down
Printed on the BOTTOM of a dessert box.

There are signs with some words spelled wrong, like:
Please do not lean on the WIDOW

There are signs in places where they shouldn't be:
No children allowed
A sign in an American maternity ward.

And:
Not to be removed from Crewe Station
Found on a luggage trolley at Singapore airport.

Unnecessary signs:
For indoor and outdoor use only
A sign referring to Chinese Christmas lights.

Signs that are easily missunderstood:
Quicksand!
Any person passing this point will be drowned
by order of the distric counsil

And:
Customers who find our waiting staff rude should see the manager

Asian signs can be funny, like this on a Korean kitchen knife:
Please keep out of children

Or this sign on a bottle of Taiwanese shampoo:
Use repeatedly for severe damage

If you have seen a weird sign somewhere or if you ever see one, please post about the sign here!

My 1200th post. I should make a sign about it

jerseydevil · 08-17-2003, 09:55 AM

I love the first one.

Most signs created because of litigation are stupid. Like the ones on lawn mowers warning people that if they put there hand underneath while the blade is moving - they'll be cut off.

Fimbrethil · 08-17-2003, 12:50 PM

I haven't accutaly seen these I know people who have.

On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

At a dry cleaners: "Drop your pants here."

Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your
nose?"

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,you've come to the right place."

gollum9630 · 08-17-2003, 01:06 PM

in a North Vancouver park sign: Attention Dog Guardians
pick up after your dog. Thank you
Attenition Dogs
Grrrrr, bark, woof. Good dog

zinnite · 08-17-2003, 02:05 PM

A bright, flashing neon sign in the the window of a restaraunt in a particularly seedy part of Kansas City, MO:

HO-MADE CHILI

On an auto repair shop in rural Missouri:

TRANNYS CHANGED QUICK

Sheeana · 08-17-2003, 02:56 PM

Hasn't there already been a thread on this? Or am I thinking of JD's license plate thread?

Yep, it's here:
http://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/show...ighlight=signs

ArwenEvenstar · 08-17-2003, 03:44 PM

I saw this one sign that said:

"Gagetown artillary range"
then below it said
"Do not turn right at next exit"

06-22-2002, 03:29 PM	#1
Grey_Wolf Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mirkwood, well actually I live in North-west Scania, Sweden Posts: 9,481	Funny English Notices Around the World In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs. In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results. Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions. On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run. From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour. Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking. Here speeching American.

06-22-2002, 06:24 PM	#3
BeardofPants the Shrike Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA <3 Posts: 10,647	In a Korean restaurant down the road... (downtown Auckland): "We do not re-use the food." (Does that mean that other Korean restaurants DO?!) __________________ "Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords

06-22-2002, 10:51 PM	#4
*Khamûl* Slacker Warrior Admin Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,759	I think you need to check out a website. www.engrish.com This site has some hilarious Japanese to English signs and product labels that lost something in the translations. Such as Eric Clapton's name appearing on a CD as "Eric Crapton". Check it out. It's funny. __________________ "If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you." Gandalf to Pippin Psalm 107:31

06-23-2002, 11:10 PM	#6
Starr Polish Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill Posts: 2,389	While I was in Spain I saw a sign for a 'disabled toilet'. Well, I thought it was funny. Give me a break, I'm seven hours ahead of my time __________________ “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell

06-23-2002, 11:53 PM	#7
galadriel88 Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Far off in a dream Posts: 1,166	LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!! ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is one of the best laughs I've had in a good long while!!!!!!!!!! __________________ The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come."

06-22-2002, 03:43 PM	#2
*azalea* Long lost mooter Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Florida Posts: 3,342	LOL those are hilarious! I wonder if some of our signs written in foreign languages sound the same way to them!

06-25-2002, 04:21 PM	#8
Ocarina654 Sapling Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: A box under the stairs in the corner of the basement half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop. You know the place. Posts: 13	Those are hilarious!!! LOL!!!

06-26-2002, 10:30 PM	#9
Christiana Elf Lord Join Date: May 2002 Location: Searching desperately for a swan boat to take to Valinor Posts: 1,231	LOL!!!!!!! __________________ I take full responsibility for my actions, except for those that are somebody else's fault Having someone to blame is nearly as good as having a solution to the problem Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you habe their shoes. ~Frieda Norris

06-27-2002, 12:27 AM	#10
Shadowfax The Fleet-Footed Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: British Columbia Posts: 913	Those are sooo funny! __________________ Jesus saved me "To remain ignorant of things that happened before you were born is to remain a child" (Cicero, 106-43 B.C.) "Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth" (Picasso)

06-29-2002, 10:46 PM	#12
Jinnigan Hobbit Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Yrmori, sometimes Elgoi Posts: 30	steals some from Engrish.com "Sodami (a doll): I could make you feel happy to make you feel my love" "Mr Friendly (a wallet): He always stays near you and steals in your mind tolead you into a good shituation." <-- no misspellings in there. "No smorking please." __________________ Apathy++

06-29-2002, 11:14 PM	#13
Christiana Elf Lord Join Date: May 2002 Location: Searching desperately for a swan boat to take to Valinor Posts: 1,231	LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLL! __________________ I take full responsibility for my actions, except for those that are somebody else's fault Having someone to blame is nearly as good as having a solution to the problem Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you habe their shoes. ~Frieda Norris

08-17-2003, 09:50 AM	#14
*Jonathan* Entmoot Attorney-General, Equilibrating the Scales of Justice, Administrator ♎ Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Stockholm, Sweden Posts: 3,891	Weird signs Weird signs... There are many stupid, funny and weird signs all over the world. It can be signs on doors, signs on boxes or signs on bottles. Like this sign: We can repair ANYTHING. Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work. It was found on a repair shop door. Or this sign: Do not turn upside down Printed on the BOTTOM of a dessert box. There are signs with some words spelled wrong, like: Please do not lean on the WIDOW There are signs in places where they shouldn't be: No children allowed A sign in an American maternity ward. And: Not to be removed from Crewe Station Found on a luggage trolley at Singapore airport. Unnecessary signs: For indoor and outdoor use only A sign referring to Chinese Christmas lights. Signs that are easily missunderstood: Quicksand! Any person passing this point will be drowned by order of the distric counsil And: Customers who find our waiting staff rude should see the manager Asian signs can be funny, like this on a Korean kitchen knife: Please keep out of children Or this sign on a bottle of Taiwanese shampoo: Use repeatedly for severe damage If you have seen a weird sign somewhere or if you ever see one, please post about the sign here! My 1200th post. I should make a sign about it __________________ An unwritten post is a delightful universe of infinite possibilities. Set down one word, however, and it immediately becomes earthbound. Set down one sentence and it’s halfway to being just like every other bloody entry that’s ever been written. ☻

08-17-2003, 09:55 AM	#15
jerseydevil I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Plainsboro, NJ Posts: 9,431	I love the first one. Most signs created because of litigation are stupid. Like the ones on lawn mowers warning people that if they put there hand underneath while the blade is moving - they'll be cut off. __________________ Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide

08-17-2003, 12:50 PM	#16
Fimbrethil My microwave speaks to me Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Having conversations with my major household appliances. Posts: 937	I haven't accutaly seen these I know people who have. On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." At a dry cleaners: "Drop your pants here." Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,you've come to the right place." __________________ Bah, Bah black sheep have oyu any wool? Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full! One for the master, one for the dame, one for the little boy who lives down the lane! Bah, bah black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full. I'll be gone for a while. But never fear! "I shall return anon!"

08-17-2003, 01:06 PM	#17
gollum9630 Canadian Guy. Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: The true North Strong and Free Posts: 1,513	in a North Vancouver park sign: Attention Dog Guardians pick up after your dog. Thank you Attenition Dogs Grrrrr, bark, woof. Good dog __________________ "Canadians are so apathetic, but, what are you gonna do about it" -Glen Foster Wierd Harry Potter quotes the old nintendo duck hunt game Lemmings Swron Random Homer Simpson Quotes

08-17-2003, 02:05 PM	#18
zinnite Elven Warrior Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Lawrence, Kansas, USA Posts: 195	A bright, flashing neon sign in the the window of a restaraunt in a particularly seedy part of Kansas City, MO: HO-MADE CHILI On an auto repair shop in rural Missouri: TRANNYS CHANGED QUICK Last edited by zinnite : 08-17-2003 at 02:08 PM.

08-17-2003, 02:56 PM	#19
Sheeana Lord of the Pants Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 1,382	Hasn't there already been a thread on this? Or am I thinking of JD's license plate thread? Yep, it's here: http://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/show...ighlight=signs Last edited by Sheeana : 08-17-2003 at 03:00 PM.

08-17-2003, 03:44 PM	#20
ArwenEvenstar Elf Lord Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: and why do YOU want to know? Posts: 685	I saw this one sign that said: "Gagetown artillary range" then below it said "Do not turn right at next exit" __________________ The only thing active about me is my imagination!

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