Do You Fit Your Birth Order?

[Starr Polish]

To the admins: This is not me advertising, it's not my site, just osmething fun.

www.birthorderplus.com/

I am a second born, and I found it to be nearly 100% true. The spirituality part focuses on Christianity when they discuss 'churches', but the actual aspect of the spirituality fits any religion...not so sure about the 'lack thereof', though. I even fit what church is focused on second borns...creepy.

[emplynx]

I fit alot of their 4th child info. Except this

Driving Style: Drives slowly while gazing at the surroundings

If they only knew....

[Elf Girl]

I do not fit mine at all. I am not "placating" or "serving" and all though I do drive towards distant goals, I usually change them before I reach them.

[Andúril]

Errrr....no.

True or false:
Characteristic Bad Feeling: Guilt (false)
Strategies for survival: Placating, Covering Up (false)
Felt Loss: Love (false)
Sense of Justice: People should get what they deserve (false)
Thought Pattern: Research (true)
T-shirt: "I don't know, what do you think?" (false)
Childhood Behavior: Demanding, Show off (false)
Emotional Expression: Flat (true)
Source of Anger: Lack of Respect (false)
Nature of Humor: Teasing (true)
Means of Relating: Placating (false)
Spirituality: Relational (false)
Relational: Fears others may be offended, Placater (false)
The Child Within: Abandoned (true)
Type of Procrastination: Dreaming instead of doing (true)
Blind spot: Own thoughts, feelings, desires (true)
Boundaries: Others have absolute boundaries (false)
A walk in the woods: Plunges into the woods pursuing distant goal (false)
Careers: Business, Research, Counseling, Promotion, Speaking (only research is true)
Strengths: Goal-setting, Compromise, Leadership (all false)
Parenting: Directs children towards goals (puhlease - false)
Marriage: Goes along with what partner wants (riiiight - false)
As Friend: Compromising, Serving (false)
Social Contributions: Discoveries, Information, Dreams (false, true, false)
Expression of Love: Agreement (false)
Driving Style: As if everyone is out to get him or her (riiiiight - false)
Common Phrase: "I don't know" (what? Riiiiiight)
Responds To: "You may not agree with this, but...." (true)

[galadriel88]

Wow, that's amazing! I'm an only child and almost all of that is true! Except the imaginary playmates part - I never had any imaginary friends. Although I did used to read to my stuffed animals...

[Starr Polish]

You never had an imaginary friend? I had one! Sometimes it felt like I was an only child (before my mom remarried) because my sister is six years older than me.

[Laurelyn]

I had imaginary friends, as a little kid. I was an only child, back then, actually; my little brother is 9 years younger than I am. But I don't fit any one of their specific birth order patterns. So, there.


BTW: they only go to kid #4 . . . . my mom is the oldest of 12 kids, my grandmother the 12th of 14. Go figure . . . .

[Starr Polish]

After the fourth child the cycle starts over again.

[Jadera]

I'm actually the second child in my family, but I fit more of the only child list things. It's probably because my brother and I are sixteen years apart. So I get two lists.

Nature of Humor: Sarcasm
(You'd better believe it, baby.)

[BeardofPants]

What a load of bollocks.

Now children, what have I said about boxing people?

[azalea]

Actually birth order does have some validity, but what I saw of this particular book doesn't go along with the studies I have seen. According to this one, I seem to fit the second born in more of the catagories, but I am actually a first born. I do tend to fit the first born characteristics of the other info I've seen on birth order.

[BeardofPants]

Originally posted by azalea
Actually birth order does have some validity...

Based on what? It's genetics that determine your characteristics, not incident of birth. Does it figure miscarriages and abortions into the equation?

[azalea]

It isn't determined at birth, it has to do with your role in the family dynamics. It is based on psychological studies. For instance, a very simple scenario is that parents tend to expect more behavior-wise out of their first children ("You're old enough to know better than to act like that! He (or she)'s younger than you!"), so they grow up to become more perfectionistic. As I said, that's a simplifying it, but that's the general idea. It's a "nurture" thing.

[BeardofPants]

Originally posted by azalea
It isn't determined at birth, it has to do with your role in the family dynamics. It is based on psychological studies.

Oh? So "stereotypes" then? Even better!

[Liviaine]

Most of it was correct, but I am more friendly/critical than agreeable/obnoxious. I get angrier when I am put down than when I am not shown respect. I'd like a speaking, writing, or teaching job. I'm the oldest.

[Rána Eressëa]

Characteristic Bad Feeling: Vulnerability (No. I say guilt.)
Strategies for survival: Being Strong, Attacking (Yep.)
Felt Loss: Protection (Somewhat.)
Sense of Justice: There is no justice, victims must be rescued (Right on.)
Thought Pattern: Comparison (Yep.)
T-shirt: "No problem, it doesn't bother me any" (Uh...yeah. )
Childhood Behavior: Rebellious (Yep Again.)
Emotional Expression: Sympathy, Attack (Right on!)
Source of Anger: Putdowns (I have seen the light!)
Nature of Humor: Putdowns (Yep. I know, I'm contradictory.)
Means of Relating: Rescue (Damn...this thing is good.)
Spirituality: Devotional, Strength through prayer (Ah! It got one wrong!)
Relational: Pleaser, Sensitive to others' wants/needs (Another wrong! Everything revolves around me.)
The Child Within: Wounded (She's limping alright. )
Type of Procrastination: Puts off tasks to pursue more interesting projects (Right on!)
Blind spot: Cooperation (Wouldn't know.)
Boundaries: None for self (Wrong 4rd time. I have boundaries I've set. None that I believe exist, but I've set them and follow them. )
A walk in the woods: Only goes in the woods to help others (Wrong 5th time!)
Careers: Sales, Police Officer, Newspaper Reporter, Inventor, Poet, Animal Trainer, Child Care (Poet and that's the only one.)
Strengths: Compassion, Practicality, Creativity (Yepo.)
Parenting: Protective, Nurturing (Until they get out of control and I have to smack 'em!)
Marriage: Wants to please spouse and children (Huh? They better be cooking and cleaning and . . . hey, no football for a week!)
As Friend: Often has only one close friend (At a time, yes.)
Social Contributions: Inventions, Poetry, Inspiration (Yep.)
Expression of Love: Pleasing Others (Wrong, yet again.)
Driving Style: Fearful or Fearless (Yeehaw! That's right.)
Listening Style: Listens for what lies behind the words (Heh heh . . . I suck at that.)
Common Phrase: "No Problem" (Yep.)
Responds To: "Please" (Only to my parents.)

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Characteristic Bad Feeling: Frustration (true)
Strategies for survival: Imaginary companions, two speeds (fast and slow) for doing things (Ok)
Felt Loss: Freedom (?!?)
Sense of Justice: Everyone should be treated equally (Well Duh!)
Thought Pattern: Organization (NOT!)
T-shirt: "Leave me alone, I'd rather do it myself" (So true)
Childhood Behavior: Emotional, Obedient (Obedient? Be Obedient to me!)
Emotional Expression: demonstrative, tantrums (Hell Yes!)
Source of Anger: Intrusion (Don't mess with me!)
Nature of Humor: Sarcasm (I'll aggree with that)
Means of Relating: Projection (Hmmn...)
Spirituality: Ethical (yes)
Relational: Feels others' feelings, fixer of problems (Yes)
The Child Within: Smothered (really?)
Type of Procrastination: Put off big jobs while doing little jobs (How about, does no jobs!)
Blind spot: What others think/feel (Ok)
Boundaries: Has them for self and others (Hmmn...)
A walk in the woods: Stays on the path (Naw!)
Careers: Radio Announcer, Finance, Teaching, Ministry, Management (If you say so)
Strengths: Organizing, Stability (Bwah ha ha ha!)
Parenting: Allows children time and space (Leave them alone)
Marriage: Tries to meet partner's expectations (Of course)
As Friend: Emotional, Considerate ( )
Social Contributions: Organizational leadership, authors of self-help books (?!?)
Expression of Love: Worry (Yeah right, I "worry")
Driving Style: As if everyone is going to do the right thing (They should)
Listening Style: Puts own meaning into others' words (Whatever it means)
Common Phrase: "You know" (No, I don't)

Yep, I'm half only child

[Starr Polish]

Characteristic Bad Feeling: Inadequacy (BIG yes)
Strategies for survival: Perfectionism, Logic (Mhmm)
Felt Loss: Emotions (Iffy...)
Sense of Justice: Necessity (yep)
Thought Pattern: Evaluation (Heck yes)
T-shirt: "That won't work, it's not good enough." (I say that 'bout once a day)
Childhood Behavior: Deceptive, Critical (eh...sometimes)
Emotional Expression: Controlled, Intense (yes, there is more to me than what is online)
Source of Anger: Criticism (Among other things...)
Nature of Humor: Dry (Yes)
Means of Relating: Correction (Yeah)
Spirituality: Self-discipline, Living by rules (For the most part)
Relational: Sensitive to others' anger, Peacemaker (Oddly, yes)
The Child Within: Neglected (Yes)
Type of Procrastination: Puts things off till they can be done perfectly (Hehe...yes)
Blind spot: Others' emotions (No)
Boundaries: Defined by rules (Yes...I'm a goody two shoes, most times)
A walk in the woods: Watches ground around the feet, may go around in circles (No)
Careers: Accounting, Banking, Art, Carpentry, Decorating, Receptionist, Secretary, Teaching, Writing Novels (Writing Novels! That's what I want to do!)
Strengths: Self-discipline, Honesty, Determination (Yes)
Parenting: Insists of obedience to the rules (I wouldn't know yet, no children)
Marriage: Puts spouse, family ahead of self (See above, but I'm guessing htis is true)
As Friend: Offers constructive criticism (I do, to the point of annoying people)
Social Contributions: Art, financial institutions, completed projects (True)
Expression of Love: Constructive criticism (Yes, I won't lie if something needs work)
Driving Style: Drives angrily because others do not follow the rules (Exactly!)
Listening Style: Listens for mistakes (Yes)
Common Phrase: "You need to..." (Yes)
Responds To: "This may not be perfect, but...." (sometimes)

Heh, I guess about 95% accurate (hey, don't look at me like that, I suck at math...don't trust aptitude tests!)

[azalea]

Well, if the stereotype fits...

But it is based on research. Of course they're not saying that your birth order determines who you are or will become, but just seeing how our role in our families as children affect how we act with our adult relationships. In reality it's really only useful as an excuse (Me: You're being so selfish! Husband: Well I grew up as on only child ) or an interesting topic of conversation at parties.

Other oversimplified examples:

Most US presidents were firstborn or only children (I think that's right). Only children (or those born 5 years apart from all the other sibs) tend to be "high achievers", the "higher ups" in their chosen profession. A few reasons why: more attention/ suupport/ focus from parents = better success in education; they do tend to be more "selfish" or self centered and fight to get what they want (as opposed to compromise, which those of us who grew up w/ sibs had to learn, and to practice every day for our whole childhood).

The "Jan Brady" syndrome: Middle children are often refered to as "lost children". They aren't the oldest (thus not getting the better privileges, the attention that the first child enjoyed for a while) nor are they the "baby", who gets, well, babied, for a longer time, and the laxness that comes with parenting the third time around. They are at a greater risk for problems later in life (EDIT) in relationships. On the other hand, some come away from their childhood BETTER eqipped for relating to others as an adult, it just depends. (end edit).
My reading on the matter actually deals with 3 children in the birth order, and in larger families it tends to be segmented based on how far apart each child is from the next. Far apart, and it may "repeat", but closer together the child may end up with multiple roles depending on which sib he or she is interacting w/. I'm not an expert or anything, but I have done some reading on the subject (quite a while back). In my experience it does seem to hold true, of course taking into account the person's inherent personality and the other life experiences he/she has had.

[Claenoic]

For me, half right and half wrong.

Characteristic Bad Feeling: Inadequacy (Nina is THE role-model of any mother's dreams. True)
Strategies for survival: Perfectionism, Logic (True)
Felt Loss: Emotions (True)
Sense of Justice: Necessity (True)
Thought Pattern: Evaluation (True)
T-shirt: "That won't work, it's not good enough."(False)
Childhood Behavior: Deceptive, Critical (True. Oh so true)
Emotional Expression: Controlled, Intense (True)
Source of Anger: Criticism (True)
Nature of Humor: Dry (VERY true)
Means of Relating: Correction (True)
Spirituality: Self-discipline, Living by rules (Eh... False)
Relational: Sensitive to others' anger, Peacemaker (True)
The Child Within: Neglected (I frankly have no idea)
Type of Procrastination: Puts things off till they can be done perfectly (True)
Blind spot: Others' emotions (True)
Boundaries: Defined by rules (False)
A walk in the woods: Watches ground around the feet, may go around in circles (I look in the trees for elvish talans )
Careers: Accounting, Banking, Art, Carpentry, Decorating, Receptionist, Secretary, Teaching, Writing Novels (Everything except Accounting, Banking, Receptionist, and a Secretary (Well, maybe that would be a nice job.)
Strengths: Self-discipline, Honesty, Determination (Maybe I'm a little too honest)
Parenting: Insists of obedience to the rules (Not... really...)
Marriage: Puts spouse, family ahead of self (Yup)
As Friend: Offers constructive criticism (Mhmm)
Social Contributions: Art, financial institutions, completed projects (True)
Expression of Love: Constructive criticism (False. Cuddles work better.)
Driving Style: Drives angrily because others do not follow the rules (False)
Listening Style: Listens for mistakes (False)
Common Phrase: "You need to..." (False)
Responds To: "This may not be perfect, but...." (False)