Honesty and the Lack Thereof......

Lady Midnight · 06-06-2002, 09:26 PM

Okay I'm not really sure if I should be saying this. Heck I'm not even sure how to say it! But if I don't then I might inadvertently say the wrong thing to someone and we don't want that.

The thing is I'm likely to be more than usually strung-out for the next few days. It's gone down really bad over at Slipstream and a lot of people I care for a great deal have been very badly hurt. I'm not sure how much I should tell you, or indeed if I should say anything at all. It's a very unusual situation to be in. Right now I'm completely stunned.

The short version is that a while back someone who was in a position of trust over there, whom many of us had known for quite a while and thought of as a friend, perpetrated what can only be described as a disgustingly cruel hoax against the entire community, all near enough 2000 of us.

He's only gone and done it a second time.

If you want to know exactly what went on feel free to PM me. I'm told hug threads aren't done here so I won't ask for them. That would be spam of course and that is not my intention here. But if you wanted to you could say something funny and try to raise a smile. Or we could discuss the nature of honesty. That would certainly be relevant here.

But I just wanted to apologise in advance for anything I might say or do over the next day or two. I'm very definitely
not in my usual frame of mind right now.

I'm sorry if I've overstepped the mark in starting this thread. I just felt I should get it all off my chest and well PMing everyone would've been a little excessive.

Besides I'd love to know how everyone would handle a situation like this.

***Ben*** · 06-06-2002, 09:30 PM

I'm sorry to hear that. So, what exactly happened? You're not going to just leave everyone in suspense are you?

***HOBBIT*** · 06-06-2002, 09:31 PM

Sounds like a clone of Darth Tater to me

BeardofPants · 06-07-2002, 04:43 AM

Aren't you afraid, that by sharing the problem via here, or PM, that they same thing will happen again?!

Lady Midnight · 06-07-2002, 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bmilder
I'm sorry to hear that. So, what exactly happened? You're not going to just leave everyone in suspense are you?

Ok here's what happened. A few months ago one of our moderators started posting about his cousin and her potentially violent boyfriend, expressing concern for her welfare. I only caught the tail end of that but from what I can gather this went on for about a month. Then he posted that she'd gone away with him and well there's really no polite way to say this but he hurt her in a very horrific way. The man who posted about this went into fairly lurid detail about her injuries, to say nothing about what else the boyfriend was supposed to have done.

Anyway many women on the board have been in similar situations and we all wanted to help this girl. So we all came out in full force and talked about our experiences, some in public, reliving possibly the most traumatic things anyone could ever go through in order to help a total stranger and someone we all believed was a friend.

The next thing we knew the cousin was posting, thanking us all for our kind thoughts. Some of us spent a long time in Chat, talking to her. Others e-mailed her. One of my closest friends even invited her to stay with her for a bit. We all believed without question, well you would, wouldn't you? Who would think that something so horrible could be made up?

But then it all went pear-shaped. My friend who I mentioned earlier, who'd extended the invitation to the girl, she was the one who found out. She blew the whistle on him and he had no choice but to confess.

It was all a lie

There was no cousin, no boyfriend, and most importantly no-one got horrifically attacked. The only people who got hurt were the people who cared enough to try to help someone in trouble, the women who'd shared their experiences, the people who cared about those women, myself, people I care about, these were the people who got hurt.

But it didn't end there. He was of course asked to step down as moderator and his last official act was to ban himself. However he came back two days later and continuously told us he'd changed, "found his spiritual centre", he was sorry, it was the headaches. But the way he went about it just seemed so insincere. Firstly he didn't even have the good grace to come back himself and face the music. He manipulated someone into posting on his behalf. Then came all the excuses. Not to mention the constant e-mails to the more trusting members of our community.

Eventually he went away again but about 2 days ago a friend of his showed up asking us to stop giving him such a hard time over it. Right from the start there was something eerily similar about her posts, his posts and the posts he'd done as the "cousin". This friend even went so far as to tell us he'd been playing silly beggars with knives as a result of the whole sorry mess. Most of us could see straight through this but a good many believed this friend to be everything she said she was and condemed those of us who were skeptical, thus creating disharmony on the board.

Shortly before I started this thread it was announced that he'd been banned for 24hrs for multiple user names.

There was no friend. It was all another lie.

My reaction to the news was "What? you mean you're actually going to let him back after 24hrs?????

"

If it was up to me I'd never have him back. But Slipstream doesn't have IP tracking. If it did this whole sorry mess would've been over and done with months ago. As it is he's going to keep comming back and doing dren like this as long as there are trusting people in the world.

But on a lighter note I just made two new friends, both of whom I thought I'd never get on with.

Lady Midnight · 06-07-2002, 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BeardofPants
Aren't you afraid, that by sharing the problem via here, or PM, that they same thing will happen again?!

Not really. I'm here so if anyone pulled a stunt like this here chances are I'd probably cotton on quickly. And I'm sure the Admin are more than capable of dealing with stuff like this in sufficient time for people not to get hurt.

In any case should the low-life ever find his way here it's as well everyone knows what he's capable of.

Radagast · 06-07-2002, 06:24 AM

I must say that's a very odd situation...I don't really know what to say so I won't.

Andúril · 06-07-2002, 08:05 AM

Rule No. 1: Don't believe everything you read in chatrooms, discussion forums - in fact, be skeptical of everything...

BeardofPants · 06-07-2002, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Anduril
Rule No. 1: Don't believe everything you read in chatrooms, discussion forums - in fact, be skeptical of everything...

Including the above rule....

Andúril · 06-07-2002, 08:24 AM

BoP, your insight works against you. Bow down before me, young paddawan.

BeardofPants · 06-07-2002, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Anduril
BoP, your insight works against you. Bow down before me, young paddawan.

Make me, monkey boy.
In the meantime, how 'bout I bare my soul for you in the public domain?

Lady Midnight · 06-07-2002, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Anduril
Rule No. 1: Don't believe everything you read in chatrooms, discussion forums - in fact, be skeptical of everything...

A good rule. Unfortunately most of us have known this guy for quite a while, have talked to him every night for over a year and we'd never had any reason to doubt him until then.

I can only conclude that he must be crazy. The question is whether he was like that to begin with or has he cracked under the RL pressure he's been under, mother dying, that sort of thing. Is there any RL pressure even or is that another lie as well?

The thing is that by and large we are a pretty honest bunch there. When you've known people as long as we've known each other and talked as often as we do you normally can tell to some extent. That's why I never believed him this second time. Too much about this friend of his didn't ring true.

I'm not generally given to hating people and I really don't like to be put in a position where I find myself wanting to string someone whom I used to consider a friend up by the nearest lampost.

Darth Tater · 06-07-2002, 09:07 AM

There was a member here at Entmoot who fabricated a whole family! The admins finally confronted her on it when we'd figured most of it out, she got upset and left. My point is you can't always trust people on the net, and when something big like that comes up it's important to be skeptical.

Andúril · 06-07-2002, 09:37 AM

*Looks askance at the Tater*

Lady Midnight · 06-07-2002, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Darth Tater
There was a member here at Entmoot who fabricated a whole family! The admins finally confronted her on it when we'd figured most of it out, she got upset and left. My point is you can't always trust people on the net, and when something big like that comes up it's important to be skeptical.

This is true but right now the damage has been done and he's going to be allowed back this time tomorrow. Right now a bunch of us are talking about petitioning the Admin for a lifetime ban, little extreme maybe but then so's the situation. I'm also offering to pay for IP tracking.

If he does come back the only other option is to just completely blank him. Trouble is getting a couple of thousand people to all stick to that.

LuthienTinuviel · 06-08-2002, 11:30 PM

ohh harsh, im sorry that happened too you, and everyone else. the paying for IP tacking is a good idea though. good luck

tater, who was the girl, i need to know more, im nosey!

StrawberryIcecream · 06-09-2002, 08:22 AM

I think that anduin's rule is a good one. Dont believe anything. UNfortunately for me that doesnt always work and i can be quite trusting which got me into a scary mess on the net once.
But this bloke sounds a bit disturbed and needing a cry for attention. Another thing that bugs me is that your friend gave him/her her address in an invite to stay with her.
that sounds quite dangerous.
this bloke sounds like a typical 'i have no friends outside the net' bloke so if he comes back just give him the cold shoulderand he'llmove on. he'll probably find another place to destroy. meanwhile dont let him ruin your message board. if you do, he's won.

***anduin*** · 06-09-2002, 10:10 PM

...Anduril's rule.

Andúril · 06-10-2002, 02:56 AM

Thanks Anduril

06-06-2002, 09:26 PM	#1
Lady Midnight Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: only after 11pm and in an altered state of conciousness Posts: 176	Honesty and the Lack Thereof...... Okay I'm not really sure if I should be saying this. Heck I'm not even sure how to say it! But if I don't then I might inadvertently say the wrong thing to someone and we don't want that. The thing is I'm likely to be more than usually strung-out for the next few days. It's gone down really bad over at Slipstream and a lot of people I care for a great deal have been very badly hurt. I'm not sure how much I should tell you, or indeed if I should say anything at all. It's a very unusual situation to be in. Right now I'm completely stunned. The short version is that a while back someone who was in a position of trust over there, whom many of us had known for quite a while and thought of as a friend, perpetrated what can only be described as a disgustingly cruel hoax against the entire community, all near enough 2000 of us. He's only gone and done it a second time. If you want to know exactly what went on feel free to PM me. I'm told hug threads aren't done here so I won't ask for them. That would be spam of course and that is not my intention here. But if you wanted to you could say something funny and try to raise a smile. Or we could discuss the nature of honesty. That would certainly be relevant here. But I just wanted to apologise in advance for anything I might say or do over the next day or two. I'm very definitely not in my usual frame of mind right now. I'm sorry if I've overstepped the mark in starting this thread. I just felt I should get it all off my chest and well PMing everyone would've been a little excessive. Besides I'd love to know how everyone would handle a situation like this. __________________ Owner of Shining Realms BBS, http://pub27.ezboard.com/bshiningrealms62508 Mod of Mirkwood forum at: http://pub28.ezboard.com/bmiddleearth99434 Self Proclaimed Lady Of General Messages, Minx of the 'Moot and semi-retired Official Flirt Of The Slipstream, Discipula Lenta and Warrior Priestess of the Wayists. Queen of Dramatic Tension in many RPs. In the process of setting up a new SF/Fantasy based fanzine. I want Fanfic, short stories, poetry, filks, reviews, artwork, anything you've got really but most of all IDEAS!!!!. You write it I'll take a look at it. At the moment I can't pay for submissions but all contributors will recieve a complimentary copy and I am confident that I will be able to pay one day. Please PM me if you have anything. Never but never buy a computer from TIME. If you want to know why please ask. Andromeda fans check out: http://www.slipstreambbs.com/

06-06-2002, 09:30 PM	#2
*Ben* Retired Ent Join Date: Sep 1999 Posts: 60,631	I'm sorry to hear that. So, what exactly happened? You're not going to just leave everyone in suspense are you? __________________ ---Ben formerly known in the forums as bmilder Owner of The Tolkien Trail and Entmoot. Buy Entmoot shirts and mugs!

06-06-2002, 09:31 PM	#3
*HOBBIT* Saviour of Entmoot Admiral Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: NC/NJ (no longer Same place as bmilder.) Posts: 61,986	Sounds like a clone of Darth Tater to me __________________ President Emeritus (2000-2004) Private message (or email) me if you need any assistance. I am here to help! "I'm up to here with cool, ok? I'm so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis" - Zaphod Beeblebrox Latest Blog Post: Just Quit Facebook? No One Cares!

06-07-2002, 04:43 AM	#4
BeardofPants the Shrike Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA <3 Posts: 10,647	Aren't you afraid, that by sharing the problem via here, or PM, that they same thing will happen again?! __________________ "Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords

06-07-2002, 06:24 AM	#7
Radagast Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Merry old England Posts: 413	I must say that's a very odd situation...I don't really know what to say so I won't. __________________ Take up the White Man's burden-- The savage wars of peace-- Fill full the mouth of Famine, And bid the sickness cease; And when your goal is nearest (The end for others sought) Watch sloth and heathen folly Bring all your hope to nought.

06-07-2002, 08:05 AM	#8
Andúril The Original Corruptor Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,881	Rule No. 1: Don't believe everything you read in chatrooms, discussion forums - in fact, be skeptical of everything...

06-07-2002, 08:24 AM	#10
Andúril The Original Corruptor Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,881	BoP, your insight works against you. Bow down before me, young paddawan.

06-07-2002, 09:07 AM	#13
Darth Tater The man Join Date: Sep 1999 Location: MA Posts: 4,572	There was a member here at Entmoot who fabricated a whole family! The admins finally confronted her on it when we'd figured most of it out, she got upset and left. My point is you can't always trust people on the net, and when something big like that comes up it's important to be skeptical. __________________ Visit the worlds greatest webpage! No, not The Tolkien Trail! Just click this! The Tolkien Trail ~Camelot

06-07-2002, 09:37 AM	#14
Andúril The Original Corruptor Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,881	Looks askance at the Tater

06-08-2002, 11:30 PM	#16
LuthienTinuviel protector of orphaned rabbits Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Kalamazoo... yes, its a real place! Posts: 1,236	ohh harsh, im sorry that happened too you, and everyone else. the paying for IP tacking is a good idea though. good luck tater, who was the girl, i need to know more, im nosey! __________________

06-09-2002, 08:22 AM	#17
StrawberryIcecream Elf Lord Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: In my jeans Posts: 915	I think that anduin's rule is a good one. Dont believe anything. UNfortunately for me that doesnt always work and i can be quite trusting which got me into a scary mess on the net once. But this bloke sounds a bit disturbed and needing a cry for attention. Another thing that bugs me is that your friend gave him/her her address in an invite to stay with her. that sounds quite dangerous. this bloke sounds like a typical 'i have no friends outside the net' bloke so if he comes back just give him the cold shoulderand he'llmove on. he'll probably find another place to destroy. meanwhile dont let him ruin your message board. if you do, he's won. __________________ www.foolofatook.com for all you pippin's out there.

06-09-2002, 10:10 PM	#18
*anduin* Entwife Join Date: Oct 1999 Location: louisville Posts: 3,718	...Anduril's rule.

06-10-2002, 02:56 AM	#19
Andúril The Original Corruptor Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,881	Thanks Anduril