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02-07-2002, 05:49 PM
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#1 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: La La Land
Posts: 309
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Lotr Jokes...
I wanted to srtart a thread with only LOTR jokes... here's my first one... (thought of it myself)
How many Orcs does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know... but why would they want to?
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It is the failed skydiver who leaves an impression upon the earth. "But what about the R.O.U.Ses?" Yours Truly, The Tisroc -You forgot to say "May he live forever" -That's because I don't want him to live forever! - The Horse and his Boy--C.S. Lewis |
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02-08-2002, 12:59 PM
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#2 |
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The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium)
Posts: 14,363
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I don't know either but I'll doubt they would change it , they would probably just trash it. They're orcs afterall. Besides are there even light bulbs in ME? A better question would be: How many orcs does it take to change a light crystal in Gandalf's staff?
Or did I ruin the joke by now?  |
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02-08-2002, 04:41 PM
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#3 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Anywhere but where I should be.
Posts: 369
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How many Orcs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
That depends, do they even know what a lightbulb is?
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And they carried them to the flatlands But they died along the way And they built up with their bare hands What we still can't do today. EIDRIORCQWSDAKLMEDDCWWTIWOATTOPWFIO till the day I die. |
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02-08-2002, 05:36 PM
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#4 |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Valinor, right next to Telperion . . . what did you expect, Michigan?
Posts: 1,315
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This one's made the rounds numerous times, but
Why did the Balrog cross the bridge? To get to the other si- AAAHHHH!
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The Third Age of Entmoot has begun. Angel of music, guide and guardian! Grant to me your glory! The country I eat and spend the day in is by no means the country I sleep and dream in. Define patriotism. Hold the boat, you spastic monkey! ~ Elenka |
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02-08-2002, 06:47 PM
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#5 |
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Best Ex-Administrator ever
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Ireland
Posts: 60,547
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This is not something I would normally do, but I heard this Joke on TheOneRing.net.
Why did the Balrog Cross the bridge? Well its not clear it actually crossed the road, it could have been a metaphor. |
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02-08-2002, 06:49 PM
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#6 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Anywhere but where I should be.
Posts: 369
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Missing: Gold Ring.
Family heirloom, sentimental value. If found e-mail darklord@mordor.com
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And they carried them to the flatlands But they died along the way And they built up with their bare hands What we still can't do today. EIDRIORCQWSDAKLMEDDCWWTIWOATTOPWFIO till the day I die. |
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02-08-2002, 10:39 PM
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#7 |
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Halfwitted
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Eryn Vorn
Posts: 1,659
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I read this on some webpage:
How many Tolkien Purists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? - None. There were no lightbulbs in Tolkien's works.
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Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears |
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02-09-2002, 10:51 AM
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#8 |
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Bard of Mangled Songs
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila
Posts: 2,679
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What's the difference between Aragorn and Narsil?
One is Isildur's Heir while the other is Isildur's Heirloom What will happen if you cross a balrog with an orc? Orc arbecue
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Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert Accio, Ash Nazg! Elennuru s?*la lúmenn' omentielvo (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures... Last edited by Arathorn : 02-09-2002 at 10:55 AM. |
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02-09-2002, 11:52 AM
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#9 | |
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The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium)
Posts: 14,363
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Quote:
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02-09-2002, 11:03 PM
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#10 |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: California
Posts: 60,865
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Aragorn, love the Black Mage!
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Falmon -- Dylan |
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02-10-2002, 10:13 AM
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#11 |
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Self-Appointed Lord of the Free Peoples of the General Messages
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,214
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Check out this site for all kinds of them. http://greenbooks.theonering.net/tookish/
What is the gooey stuff between the balrogs toes? |
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02-10-2002, 10:13 AM
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#12 |
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Self-Appointed Lord of the Free Peoples of the General Messages
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,214
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Slow Orcs |
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02-17-2002, 03:30 AM
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#13 | |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Neverneverland
Posts: 215
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Quote:
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"Frodo, Mr Frodo," he called. "Don't leave me here alone. It's your Sam calling. Don't you go where I can't follow." FRODO LIVES !!!! |
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02-17-2002, 03:43 AM
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#14 |
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Head Hollara
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 751
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A hobbit walks into a hobbit-bar and orders a drink. He gulps it down then searches his pockets, but doesn't find enough to pay for it. He turns to another hobbit and says "Pardon me, but could I trouble you for two pence? I'm a little short."
Get it?? He's a little SHORT... I made that up myself, thankee...
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"People used to ring up and say 'Don't quit your day job' or 'sell your synth', but the joke's on them: we were fired and the synth is broken!" -John Flansburgh from They Might Be Giants Ever heard of Mormons? I'm one. Click here to know more about us. |
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02-17-2002, 05:30 AM
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#15 |
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Bard of Mangled Songs
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila
Posts: 2,679
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How does one rouse a Balrog from its sleep?
When someone asks about its wings...
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Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert Accio, Ash Nazg! Elennuru s?*la lúmenn' omentielvo (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures... |
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02-17-2002, 08:59 AM
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#16 |
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The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium)
Posts: 14,363
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My sister came up with this..
How do you call a twisted elf? A twelve |
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02-26-2002, 05:40 AM
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#17 |
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Bard of Mangled Songs
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila
Posts: 2,679
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What do you get when you cross Sauron with a monster?
Mike Wazowski!
__________________
Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert Accio, Ash Nazg! Elennuru s?*la lúmenn' omentielvo (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures... |
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