Assassin's Dues

Curubethion · 12-18-2005, 11:08 PM

Note: I wrote this from a solo RPG (based on a self-made gaming system) I played. Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~
A few clouds fell across the sun...the General's palace was dully lit by its fading rays. A sudden crimson glimmer shone over the crowd milling in the palace's courtyard. They were waiting for his speech, for he prepared to march for war...All waited, for they loved their leader...

Tircor crouched in the shadows. He was inside the General's palace. In his hand, held low, was a sharp, plain longsword. Strapped in his belt were two daggers. They had tasted blood many times. He was prepared to slay.

An easy job, he thought. Just one slain leader, and I'm safely away.

He opened the door to the east. In there was a guard, his gaze roving around the room. Tircor silently closed the door, and tried to hide in the shadows. But it was too late.

"Hey!" the guard shouted, spotting him.

I can still make it, thought the assassin. I am fast.

As he tried to get to the door, the guard ran and met him. They circled, fighting ferociously! Tircor gashed the man's armor. As they circled again, he saw his chance. He ran! The guard tried to slash him as he fled, but he escaped. The next room was empty, and he swiftly ran south.

Crouching, he saw another guard. He unsheathed his throwing-dagger. As the man turned towards him, Tircor flicked his right hand! The knife sailed towards the man and lodged in his throat. The assassin swiftly retrieved it, and headed up the stairs to the south.

Like a shadow, he wrapped himself in his cloak, and vanished. Slowly, he ascended. A guard lurked there. His eyes roved over the assassin, who carefully tried to pass...

Somehow he escaped. Somehow he got to the General's room, just down the hallway. And he entered. The General turned to face him.

"So," he said, "you have finally come. Well, I am here. Let me die like a man!"

Tircor replied, "I cannot allow you anything. You will die now!"

He ran, swinging his sword at the man. The blade bit the General's armor, and snagged in it! Dropping back, the assassin threw both of his blades. The General stopped, holding his hands high. The knives caught him in the chest and neck. He fell prostrate.

Haha! Simple! gloated the murderer.

He did not hear the door open. The guard rushed in. As he threw a stroke at the man, Tircor ducked and retrieved his dagger. The guard saw his chance, and swung! The stroke smashed into the assassin's leather armor, gashing hi side! He threw his dagger with a fury, and it sliced into the guard's armor.

Must...escape!

Stumbling, the man fled the room! As the guard chased him, the murderer wrapped himself in shadow again. Slowly, he descended the stairs unseen. He walked east, limping, and north. He emerged on the ramp that led to the palace's courtyard. Trying to hide in his cloak again, he stumbled. The sentries and the crowd saw him, bleeding and armed. He ran past them, trying to slip into the crowd.

"Who are you?" a man shouted, blocking his way.

"Leave-me!" screamed Tircor.

A sentry ran up, and swung his sword! The assassin, with an ebbing strength, blocked it and ran. Everyone was far behind. He had won!

And then he fell to the ground, exhausted. He was caught. He had won, and he had lost.

THE END

So...what do you think? It could use some editing here and there, I'm sure, but this was a speed-write.

Serenoli · 01-01-2006, 02:52 PM

The only thing I didn't like were the numerous exclamation marks, but otherwise, pretty exciting... I wish it was longer, and we could find out why he wanted to kill the leader so badly, and the relationship between the two.

Curubethion · 01-02-2006, 06:08 PM

Yeah...I'm going to work on that in the rewrite. I did this in a very short time. When I get more time, I'll start on the rewrite.

Tamuril Sirfalas · 01-18-2006, 05:44 PM

its good i like it...these ! marks i thought you had a little too amny of them but very exciting and a good story

Curubethion · 01-19-2006, 12:35 AM

The sun's dying rays darkened slightly...clouds passed across the sun...and the people waited. They watched the torchlit balcony...where the general would speak...for they loved their general.

Tircor stealthily crouched by the door of a room in the General's Palace. He held his plain but keen longsword low, preparing to open the door. With his left hand, he adjusted the knives in his belt. His cloak swept over and covered them...and a small sack of coins...payment. Gold for the general's blood. A traitor's pay.

A fair enough trade, he thought.

He opened the door, and glanced out. A guard roved there, gazing around. As Tircor stealthily closed the door and crept into the shadows, the soldier's stare swept over him. He stopped, trying to stay hidden.

It was too late.

"Who goes there?" called the guard, lifting his sword.

Ha! You cannot stop me! thought the assassin. Fleet as the wind...
(I'm running out of time now...I'll work on it later...)

Curubethion · 02-11-2006, 11:16 PM

But the guard did catch him. The two circled around, and they traded blows. Tircor warded off the attacks, and saw an opening. He drove his sword in, gashing the man's armor! As the guard stepped back in pain, Tircor saw his chance. He ran, and opened the door. He felt the guard's sword slash just short, and he shut the door.

He swiftly fled south, hoping that the guard would not find him. As he entered the next room, he saw the guard. The assassin hid in the shadows, and drew his throwing-dagger. The guard turned towards him. Like a wraith, the knife flew towards the man, and he fell instantly. Tircor ran up to him, and retrieved the knife.

Not bad, he thought. My gold is almost here.

12-18-2005, 11:08 PM	#1
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	Assassin's Dues Note: I wrote this from a solo RPG (based on a self-made gaming system) I played. Enjoy! ~~~~~~~~~ A few clouds fell across the sun...the General's palace was dully lit by its fading rays. A sudden crimson glimmer shone over the crowd milling in the palace's courtyard. They were waiting for his speech, for he prepared to march for war...All waited, for they loved their leader... Tircor crouched in the shadows. He was inside the General's palace. In his hand, held low, was a sharp, plain longsword. Strapped in his belt were two daggers. They had tasted blood many times. He was prepared to slay. An easy job, he thought. Just one slain leader, and I'm safely away. He opened the door to the east. In there was a guard, his gaze roving around the room. Tircor silently closed the door, and tried to hide in the shadows. But it was too late. "Hey!" the guard shouted, spotting him. I can still make it, thought the assassin. I am fast. As he tried to get to the door, the guard ran and met him. They circled, fighting ferociously! Tircor gashed the man's armor. As they circled again, he saw his chance. He ran! The guard tried to slash him as he fled, but he escaped. The next room was empty, and he swiftly ran south. Crouching, he saw another guard. He unsheathed his throwing-dagger. As the man turned towards him, Tircor flicked his right hand! The knife sailed towards the man and lodged in his throat. The assassin swiftly retrieved it, and headed up the stairs to the south. Like a shadow, he wrapped himself in his cloak, and vanished. Slowly, he ascended. A guard lurked there. His eyes roved over the assassin, who carefully tried to pass... Somehow he escaped. Somehow he got to the General's room, just down the hallway. And he entered. The General turned to face him. "So," he said, "you have finally come. Well, I am here. Let me die like a man!" Tircor replied, "I cannot allow you anything. You will die now!" He ran, swinging his sword at the man. The blade bit the General's armor, and snagged in it! Dropping back, the assassin threw both of his blades. The General stopped, holding his hands high. The knives caught him in the chest and neck. He fell prostrate. Haha! Simple! gloated the murderer. He did not hear the door open. The guard rushed in. As he threw a stroke at the man, Tircor ducked and retrieved his dagger. The guard saw his chance, and swung! The stroke smashed into the assassin's leather armor, gashing hi side! He threw his dagger with a fury, and it sliced into the guard's armor. Must...escape! Stumbling, the man fled the room! As the guard chased him, the murderer wrapped himself in shadow again. Slowly, he descended the stairs unseen. He walked east, limping, and north. He emerged on the ramp that led to the palace's courtyard. Trying to hide in his cloak again, he stumbled. The sentries and the crowd saw him, bleeding and armed. He ran past them, trying to slip into the crowd. "Who are you?" a man shouted, blocking his way. "Leave-me!" screamed Tircor. A sentry ran up, and swung his sword! The assassin, with an ebbing strength, blocked it and ran. Everyone was far behind. He had won! And then he fell to the ground, exhausted. He was caught. He had won, and he had lost. THE END So...what do you think? It could use some editing here and there, I'm sure, but this was a speed-write. __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)

01-01-2006, 02:52 PM	#2
Serenoli Head of the Department for the Invention and Propagation of Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice! Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Ithilien Posts: 852	The only thing I didn't like were the numerous exclamation marks, but otherwise, pretty exciting... I wish it was longer, and we could find out why he wanted to kill the leader so badly, and the relationship between the two. __________________ "I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. "Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice." -Terry Pratchett, Sourcery Join the Harry Potter discussion, click here Last edited by Serenoli : 01-01-2006 at 02:53 PM.

01-02-2006, 06:08 PM	#3
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	Yeah...I'm going to work on that in the rewrite. I did this in a very short time. When I get more time, I'll start on the rewrite. __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)

01-18-2006, 05:44 PM	#4
Tamuril Sirfalas Elven Warrior Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 340	its good i like it...these ! marks i thought you had a little too amny of them but very exciting and a good story __________________ Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer: Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulaer! Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer: Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulaer! REST IN PEACE GRANDMA, GREAT AUNT, GREAT UNCLE .....they're gunna fly with the angels now so say goodbye..but i can't. You don't really realize the importance of someone until they are gone

01-19-2006, 12:35 AM	#5
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	Assassin's Dues (Rewrite) The sun's dying rays darkened slightly...clouds passed across the sun...and the people waited. They watched the torchlit balcony...where the general would speak...for they loved their general. Tircor stealthily crouched by the door of a room in the General's Palace. He held his plain but keen longsword low, preparing to open the door. With his left hand, he adjusted the knives in his belt. His cloak swept over and covered them...and a small sack of coins...payment. Gold for the general's blood. A traitor's pay. A fair enough trade, he thought. He opened the door, and glanced out. A guard roved there, gazing around. As Tircor stealthily closed the door and crept into the shadows, the soldier's stare swept over him. He stopped, trying to stay hidden. It was too late. "Who goes there?" called the guard, lifting his sword. Ha! You cannot stop me! thought the assassin. Fleet as the wind... (I'm running out of time now...I'll work on it later...) __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)

02-11-2006, 11:16 PM	#6
Curubethion Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College! Posts: 1,976	But the guard did catch him. The two circled around, and they traded blows. Tircor warded off the attacks, and saw an opening. He drove his sword in, gashing the man's armor! As the guard stepped back in pain, Tircor saw his chance. He ran, and opened the door. He felt the guard's sword slash just short, and he shut the door. He swiftly fled south, hoping that the guard would not find him. As he entered the next room, he saw the guard. The assassin hid in the shadows, and drew his throwing-dagger. The guard turned towards him. Like a wraith, the knife flew towards the man, and he fell instantly. Tircor ran up to him, and retrieved the knife. Not bad, he thought. My gold is almost here. __________________ Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan)