Sexuality - Asexuality?

[Sminty_Smeagol]

Hey. We have all heard all these sexuality arguments and things goind around... and I have recently discovered a whole new dimension of sexuality, apparently. Asexuality.

http://www.asexuality.org/info.htm

Has anyone heard of this sexual identification? What are your thoughts? Can it be possible/ natural?

[Arien the Maia]

I've heard of something like that a while back. I think that everyone can to some extend be classified as being asexual.

[Captain Stern]

.

[BeardofPants]

Originally posted by Arien the Maia
I've heard of something like that a while back. I think that everyone can to some extend be classified as being asexual.

Yeah, the vagueness of it tends to lead me to believe that it could be applicable to just about anyone.

[Lizra]

Don't count your chickens before they hatch. Those "feelings" can sneak up on you just when you least expect it! Actually, just thinking about being asexual makes me horny!

[BeardofPants]

Well, you know, it doesn't mention how LONG those dry spells are supposed to last. I yo-yo between complete apathy, and wanting to hump anything that moves sometimes.

[Nerdanel]

I've heard about it, but not so much. I think asexuality is a more continuing state; I don't think the feeling many people sometimes have is asexuality. I think that's just a temporary thing with hormones. I think asexuality can have something to do with psychological problems or maybe a physical thing that the person had from the beginning.

But that's just what I think. I might be totally wrong.

[eowyngirl14]

id never heard of that before. its interesting that asexuality was described as not being a choice, that some people just dont feel the want/need to have sex/ be in a relationship.
it might be kind of cool to be asexual... i guess you wouldnt be under so much pressure all the time, but i could be completely wrong...

[Sminty_Smeagol]

I wish I could be asexual and not be a slave to human desires... *sigh* Maybe they could have surgery that could like remove your hormones or something...

[Lady Magpie]

It might be nice not to be slave to certain desires sometimes, but think of all the pressure from others, like parents, friends, etc, who wouldn't really understand, or think they want to see you with someone.

I get interrogated by my mother all the time about dating and stuff (she thinks I should) and it's really irritating. I'm not asexual; I can just imagine what it would be like for someone who was, and really just didn't want a relationship or sex or anything whatsoever, all their lives.

And yeah, it's a valid sexuality, I think.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

In my life I can't really imagine I would have any pressures if I were asexual. My friends are all pretty much openminded, they'd probably think it was interesting or cool. My parents... well... they don't think teenagers should be interested in any form of sexuality so I guess they'd pretty much agree with me, except for it being a permanent lifestyle... That'd shock my parents but it would be fun to shock them like that except for the fact that they think teenagers opinions and decisions are always stupid and that we'll always change our minds later in life.

I don't understand the lives of people who feel pressured concerning relationships/dating/sexuality...

[eowyngirl14]

Originally posted by Sminty_Smeagol

I don't understand the lives of people who feel pressured concerning relationships/dating/sexuality...

what do you mean? its normal to feel pressured because there is pressure concerning relationships/dating/sexuality EVERYWHERE! in the news, on TV (there was this guy shouting that gay marriage can only lead to three 'rings' and engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffer-'ring'- what a jerk) from parents and friends. i dont understand how people can not feel pressured.
i feel pressuered, but i dont usually give in to the pressure. all my friends and my mom all really wanted me to go out with this guy who iv been friends with for like 5 yrs, and i wouldnt because i didnt want ruin our friendshp... and im a lesbian, which none of them know. too not feel pressured in that situation, is to not feel anything. and i wouldnt want to be numb.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

I guess I just never notice the pressure. Sex used in advertising and mediea I find disgusting and below me and I've just sort of grown to disregard it and I don't even notice it or pay attention to it anymore - I have just sort of seperated myself from it and the rest of the naive culture. Friends never want me to date anyone. I'm that person who is kind of there who doesn't really care about stuff, so nobody really tries to get involved in my life. I like it that way. If people do try to get involved in my life I block them out. I don't really have a 'life' and I don't really want one... The only friends I know are those with whom I can analyze and critique society and art and the roles of different things in our culture, as well as little psychology ideas and stuff. We don't really care about relationships and friendships and stuff.

The idea of feeling pressured into relationships is so incredibly foreign to me... It's strange that it's an element in so many peoples' lives. I guess I am sort of detached from society and in that way I am not affected by it and not pressured by it. And people stay out of my life, and I stay out of my own life, so I'm just kind of there.

In terms of sexual preference, same thing. At my school, we have a lot of homosexuals and bisexuals (it's an 'arts school') and it doesn't bother anyone. If anyone was bothered by homosexuality then they wouldn't go to my school. I would like to have some 'different' sexual preferance just so I could know and laugh in spite in my unaffectedness from all of the heterosexual pressure. Besides teh fact that I am not, I don't really want to be homosexual or bisexual, there is too much hype and it is too... abused. I wouldn't want to identify myself with anything because identifying myself as something would be associating myself with that group of people and I don't like all of the people who consider themselves homo/bisexual because of the hype and such. I don't want to identify myself with heterosexuals either but it's more the default I suppose, and if I am anything then I am that so why bother countering my instinct?

Hey, I'm nearing my 1000th post... sort of... the posts sure fly by

[eowyngirl14]

arent you afraid that youll wake up one day and realize that you have passed a lot of good things up? i dont mean to judge you, but dont you want to be involved in something? i dont want a relationship either but i am still involved in my life, mainly because i hate everything about it, but i want to make a difference. i want to change the world.

arent you scared that your blocking everybody out? i have an immense fear of being alone for more that like, 5 mins, prolly stemming form the fact that im a twin and never had to do anything by myself.
i admire you for not being afraid to be alone...

[eowyngirl14]

Originally posted by Sminty_Smeagol
I don't really want to be homosexual or bisexual, there is too much hype and it is too... abused. I wouldn't want to identify myself with anything because identifying myself as something would be associating myself with that group of people and I don't like all of the people who consider themselves homo/bisexual because of the hype and such. I don't want to identify myself with heterosexuals either but it's more the default I suppose, and if I am anything then I am that so why bother countering my instinct?

all humans are associated with the human race, and there are a lot of weirdos and crazy people part of it, but there are so many caring moral appreciative ans accepting people too.
if accepting homosexuals is the norm at your school than be thankful, because its not at my school. my sister wont go to any GSA meetings because she thinks we all think we are better than everybody else just because we are accepting of oursevles. is that what you mean by hype? but i think that does make us/them better, i mean not that we are superior or anything. but arent accepting open minded people just generally better than homophobic (well not homophobic but people who dont like gays, but arent afraid of them) people? i mean that sounds close minded, but just in general isnt someone who doesnt judge other people by skin color, religion, ethniticity, sexual orientaion (or lack there of, in the case of asexuals) 'better' (i dont knwo what i mean by better) than someone who thinks all gays are disgusting sex crazed people? im not sayign that anyone who isnt in the GSA does or anything..
okay iv lost my train of thought. i need some hot chocolate.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

Originally posted by eowyngirl14
arent you afraid that youll wake up one day and realize that you have passed a lot of good things up? i dont mean to judge you, but dont you want to be involved in something? i dont want a relationship either but i am still involved in my life, mainly because i hate everything about it, but i want to make a difference. i want to change the world.

arent you scared that your blocking everybody out? i have an immense fear of being alone for more that like, 5 mins, prolly stemming form the fact that im a twin and never had to do anything by myself.
i admire you for not being afraid to be alone...

Well see, part of me does get a little involved in things every once in a while. I don't pay attention to gossip or go to big social events or do 'school spirit' crap, or play sports or anything that really requires involvement. Occassionally I am attracted to a guy. I have a few people that I am close to... it is not really an emotional or physical closeness but more of a mental closeness that causes me to become attached to them, but I would miss them greatly were something to happen to them, although it would be a very selfish missing of them, as the only reason I would of been attached to them would be their ability to stimulate my brain and help me analyze things and be an outlet for me. I would like to think though that if the majority of the people I know died then I wouldn't really care. Hypothetically I don't think I would, just because I don't place values in the same things the ways they do and they don't really interest me. However, the 'mental closeness' can cause me to react to certain things emotionally, as can the occasional infatuation. Of course, I know that that sort of thing is petty as to what I want to be, and that I can't really handle emotions and that I often become irrational in emotional involvement and so I find it much much much easier to keep seperate from people for the most part. Although I do get human yearnings occassionally... it comes in waves but I'd like to think it is an uncommon occurance.... in which I feel lonely. And in which I wish I could value things the same way as other people and get lost in day to day life like everyone else. I am not afraid I will wake up one morning and find I passed up a good oppurtunity... because I do sieze social oppurtunities when I see them. On the rare occassion I see someone who, by watching seems interesting and possibly open to me, I will often talk to them. However my hope for someone I can totally relate to hasn't really been fulfilled...

It is cool that you are a twin. I think the way you are brought up and the whole sibling situation can really effect your social situations. I have an older brother who is a year older than me, so I sort of developed to being more of a loner and not needing attention (heh, I wish). One thing sort of leads to the next... I was quiet, I found ways to amuse myself alone like drawing and such
( http://talk.to/meorelse ;if you're interested in seeing any of my art junk, I just drew the last link today actually), and I guess it sort of developed to me being a little more independent from needing other people.

Originally posted by eowyngirl14
all humans are associated with the human race, and there are a lot of weirdos and crazy people part of it, but there are so many caring moral appreciative ans accepting people too.
if accepting homosexuals is the norm at your school than be thankful, because its not at my school. my sister wont go to any GSA meetings because she thinks we all think we are better than everybody else just because we are accepting of oursevles. is that what you mean by hype? but i think that does make us/them better, i mean not that we are superior or anything. but arent accepting open minded people just generally better than homophobic (well not homophobic but people who dont like gays, but arent afraid of them) people? i mean that sounds close minded, but just in general isnt someone who doesnt judge other people by skin color, religion, ethniticity, sexual orientaion (or lack there of, in the case of asexuals) 'better' (i dont knwo what i mean by better) than someone who thinks all gays are disgusting sex crazed people? im not sayign that anyone who isnt in the GSA does or anything..
okay iv lost my train of thought. i need some hot chocolate.

One of my most fun friends is gay. I am pretty well acquainted with the gay community. However, it is not who I am, it is not who I want to be. So I do not aspire to it personally. Not that I have a problem with it. I don't aspire to sexuality at all really, it sort of goes back to the asexual topic. I am not asexual because I do occasionally get human yearnings, but another part of me despises them and is aspiring away from them. Just ask InsidiousRex, or not... lol but it is a pretty complex subject and I don't really want to get into THAT right now. Well now I have realized that I have spent several posts going on about me... that's something. I am extremely self-absorbed because of my lack of interest in much else, and of my lack of control/identity over my own thoughts and actions... For some reason I am able to (quite sselfishly) get entirely absorbed in analyzing/criticizing myself and trying to understand myself, and I spend a great deal of my time doing this, and I prefer it over interaction with other people. But I think that analyzing my own perspective lets me better understand other people and lets me detach myself from immediate opinions affected by perspective to better understand other things...

[Ruinel]

I can honestly say, that since my physical development I have NEVER once been asexual. My swings have been from mildly horny to total all out heat.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

Heh. Yeah. Well I guess if your psychology counters it enough it cancels it out... I find that for me the only times when horniness can get a grip enough to actually start to form is when I am infatuated with someone, when I actually have an outlet for it... in my mind...

I know a girl who has been asking to identify what horniness IS... and she isn't a "late bloomer" either...

[Starr Polish]

I classified myself as asexual/nonsexual for awhile when I was a sophmore in high school. Must have been a stage for me, because I am most definitely sexually attracted to the male half of the population now.

Asexuality is an interesting thing to me, and I think it's very touchy, just like everything related to personal beliefs and sex is. I met some very strange super conservative Catholic asexual on the internet a few years ago. It might have been a hoax, but he was scary.

Smints, have you ever heard of pansexuality? I think that's the term, I'm not sure. It basically means that you don't care what gender someone is, and you don't really label yourself homo/bi/heterosexual either, it just matters if you love the person. I don't know too much about it, but I know there is a ton of information on the internet about such things.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

Well, I had that feeling a while ago. And when I explained it people said it was bisexual. But I'm not attracted to someone's body, they need a personality I like. I am superficial in a way, I can't be sexually attracted to someone who I consider ugly, but I am not attracted to someone just because they are good looking either. So I guess I am just extremely picky... if I start to like someone I notice attractive physical features about them that I probably did not notice at first...