Young punks

[Rían]

I gave this thread kind of a provocative title because I really wanted some input from you guys.

Something kinda weird happened tonight with some young guys. We took our kids out to the movies - my husband and I went with the 2 youngest to see "Home on the Range" (quite good!) and our oldest son (almost 14) and his 2 friends saw "Scooby Doo 2". Our movie was out first, so we sat in the lobby and waited. My hsuband went a few doors down to Starbucks to get us some coffee and tea. On his way back, about 6 guys, about 14 to 15 yrs old, were heading for him, and the seeming-leader said (with a very aggressive attitude) as they passed "Hey, are you a cop?" My husband just ignored them and kept going. The guy said "Hey, I'm talking to YOU, man!" My husband stopped, turned around, walked right up to him, toe-to-toe, looked at him and said "why do you want to know?" The guy immediately backed down and mumbled something like "um, I just thought you might be a cop, I think I saw you somewhere" or something along those lines, and they left.

My question - why?


(I don't even know why they picked him to begin with - he's 6'2", 210 pounds - not a small guy. And what they DIDN'T know is that he literally grew up in the jungles of South America for several years and is not easily intimidated - back luck for them!)


So - why?

[Arien the Maia]

*sigh* most likely b/c kids these days don't respect anyone! It's often likfe that here....my husband used to work at a movie theater and there were ALWAYS kids hanging around causing trouble. The question is WHY don't these kids respect anyone anymore?????

[Millane]

Cheers to your Hubby i say
most likely they thought it would make them look tough in front of their friends, why they singled your husband out id never know, he was the guy in your picture yeah? doesnt seem the kinda person these little buggers would target

[Anglorfin]

Group acceptance. They feel they are bigger than they really are. I hate that.

[GrayMouser]

Originally posted by Arien the Maia
*sigh* most likely b/c kids these days don't respect anyone! It's often likfe that here....my husband used to work at a movie theater and there were ALWAYS kids hanging around causing trouble. The question is WHY don't these kids respect anyone anymore?????

Ummm...did they used to?

Taking out our trusty Evolutionary Psychology text, we find out that...adolescent males are always snotty punks- it's in their nature.

This is the age that males (in more 'natural' cultures that don't have our extended childhoods) begin to fight for their positions as adults. The leaders in the group gather a gang of followers, and draw attention to themselves by being as aggressive as they can get away with.

Your husband's response was appropriate- like an older dominant Alpha baboon (no offense intended ) he flashed his canines and knocked them back into place.

[gimli7410]

Originally posted by GrayMouser
Taking out our trusty Evolutionary Psychology text, we find out that...adolescent males are always snotty punks- it's in their nature.

not all adolescent males are "always snotty punks" im 15 and im not a snotty punk, i may do stupid things but i never say **** to a person who i dont know and i know tonnes of other teens who are not ass***** to anybody they see. yes there are some morons out there who are jerks to anybody they see, my friend is usually like that but we just tell him to shut the **** up and hes quiet. usually the people who do that kind of stuff are insecure, everyone i know who is jerk just wants to make sure they get accepted.

[Starr Polish]

Eh, most likely they were trying to impress each other, or one was "dared" to do it to prove how tough he was. Were there any girls around, because it might have been an attempt to impress them as well.

Personally, I wouldn't have found that all that impressive at fifteen, but eh. ::shrug:; Maybe that's why I don't exactly have guys clamoring after me

[Insidious Rex]

Well maybe they were actually looking for a cop. for whatever reason. (its not unusual to have plain clothes cops in movie thearters frequented by teens and they know this). And it was done in a rather loud mouth rude way because he wanted to save face. Just a thought though.

[Tessar]

Agreed, we're not all snotty punks you know .

In this case I'd have to say that it might have been looking for a cop so they could bad mouth him, and feel safe in the security of a group. People are strange like that, and I'll agree young males aren't well known for thinking before they act .

[Sminty_Smeagol]

When adults EXPECT teenagers to be 'badasses' and ignore them or whatever then it could cause them to act that way. I don't see what such a big deal is of asking him if he is a cop, I know kids who would be expected to be 'badass' / 'tough' who are friends with local cops.
He may of been honest in thinking he recognized him and wanted him to acknowledge him, thinking that he didn't know who he was talking to.

Expectations often cause people to overreact...

[Arien the Maia]

Originally posted by GrayMouser
Ummm...did they used to?

Taking out our trusty Evolutionary Psychology text, we find out that...adolescent males are always snotty punks- it's in their nature.

This is the age that males (in more 'natural' cultures that don't have our extended childhoods) begin to fight for their positions as adults. The leaders in the group gather a gang of followers, and draw attention to themselves by being as aggressive as they can get away with.

when my husband was a teenager, he never acted like that. Actually I know lots of teenage boys who don't act like that.

[Andúril]

Sminty, I think the point of the thread has to do with this part specifically:

Originally posted by RÃ*an
My husband just ignored them and kept going. The guy said "Hey, I'm talking to YOU, man!"

I've seen this type of thing happen. It always occurs when the kid in question is with other kids.

It pisses me off.

[jerseydevil]

I agree with what a lot of people have said - including Anduril. It was the tone of voice and the attitude that shows that they just wanted to cause problems. Rian's husband in no way did the wrong thing.

I also agree that teenagers are no worse now than they were before. But I also agree with Gimli - that not all teenagers are jerks and punks.

But as GrayMouser says, if you look at the animal kingdom and step back and just people watch - you can see the same exact behavior. That seems to be the case here - whether it was too look tough in his group or to impress a girl. People can't really judge all teenagers like that though - most I think are able to control their animal instincts a bit more.

[azalea]

My husband had a similar incident recently. He was taking a left turn in our neighborhood on a busy street, and there was a group of teenagers going across the street in front of him. A couple of the guys thought it was funny to take thier time in the crosswalk, purposely not going all the way across to block the line of traffic waiting to turn left, running back and forth, etc. One of the kids called into my exasperated husband's window --
Hey, Guy! or something like that in a confrontational tone.

Finally my husband inched forward enough so that he could make the left without hitting them. On the way back out of the neighborhood, he saw them hanging out at the playground. He did what you're NOT supposed to do, which is he parked at the playground. As he did, the one kid started to walk over to my husband's car in a threatening way. As my husband got out of the car, the kid immediately turned and walked away (my husband thinks the kid thought he was another teenager at first, but then saw that he was an adult. My husband is of average height and build).
My husband said, "Hey is there a problem?"
The kid said "no."
My husband:"Well, you were walking over here as if you had a problem."
Then a back and forth ensued where my husband told him he shouldn't try to block cars like he had, and the kid just kept coming back with "Why should I listen to what YOU say?" etc. My husband offered a few "choice words" and left, but I can't believe the kid had the audacity to argue with an adult like that. As if my husband is the one that writes the traffic rules, and as if that kid wouldn't have just crossed the street the right way out of common courtesy. My husband shouldn't have even gone there, but I guess it's that urge to set someone straight, coupled with the "adult baboon" thing.


Another incident was when we were looking for a house here, and we were driving through a crowded parking lot. There was a group of teen boys who were obviously trying to duplicate something from Jackass or something. One of them had a video camera, and two of them were dressed in stocking caps and sunglasses, and were pushing carts out in front of cars going by, I guess to see if they'd stop, or try to hit them, or whatever. We finally were able to inch by them. I would have called the police or the store manager, but we were out of towners at the time, and had two small kids in the back, and needed to get back to the hotel. That was so scary (and annoying) that kids were actually acting that way. I wonder where their parents thought they were.


I think it is different nowadays. I was in a "tough" looking crowd at my school (surprising, I know), but we tried to stay out of people's way rather than start stuff. (The last thing we wanted were any "Imperial entanglements" -- IOW, the fewer adults we interacted with in any way, the better. Plus if we did interact with adults, we were extra polite rather than confrontational[aside from one exception, but that's another story]-- why invite trouble?) I think there have always been a few "troublemakers" that seem to look for a fight with authority figures, but that was only a few kids.

Now it seems that many teens feel "entitled" to lash out or something. I think watching adult behavior on Jerry Springer and reality shows is part of it (plus stuff like Jackass, which teaches that doing stuff like that is fun and entertaining, and Southpark and other shows where kids are shown being disrespectful to adults for humor value).

Another thing is that parents aren't home anymore. They're working during the week, and going out or on trips over the weekend, so many teenagers are left to do what they want and go anywhere they want. They have no guidance and supervision. Parents need to understand that they are still kids and need that. Then they act shocked when their daughter ends up pregnant after having sex with her boyfriend every afternoon in her bedroom while her parents were at work, or when their son commits a violent act using bombs he made in the garage while they were at work.


Am I saying ALL or even MOST teens? No, but enough that I think it's a widespread problem. There is an anything goes mentality, but the difference is that it isn't about peace and free love, it's about "My wants and needs are mine for the taking at any cost to others." That may have been true in the past, too, but the difference is that now, the adults don't care, or are incompetent to properly discipline and teach. They aren't from a generation that universally valued respect for others, either. And if you haven't laid the foundation, it's probably too late by the time they're 14.

Edit: there, is that better?

[Tessar]

Azalea dear could you please space that out some? Put a few paragraph spaces in or something .

[azalea]

OfcourseanythingyousayTessar,dear.

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by azalea
Edit: there, is that better?

Missed a couple of lines.

[Tessar]

Yes.



Thank you.



That's just fine .

[Lief Erikson]

Originally posted by GrayMouser
Ummm...did they used to?

Taking out our trusty Evolutionary Psychology text, we find out that...adolescent males are always snotty punks- it's in their nature.

Actually, I was a very "snotty punk" before I became a teenager. I might have been rather a wretch perhaps up to thirteen. I certainly went through a phase where I was a horror, and I wouldn't like to know myself at that time much. Definitely wouldn't want to be myself much. However, it was upon reaching my adolescent years that I greatly improved.

Originally posted by azalea
There is an anything goes mentality, but the difference is that it isn't about peace and free love, it's about "My wants and needs are mine for the taking at any cost to others."

Yes, that is the mentality. It doesn't extend to all teenagers, but to those it does reach, they certainly don't believe they feel that way.

[jerseydevil]

By the way - speaking of punks - in NY there are a groups of teens that are attacking homeless people with stun guns. It's so senseless. They go up to homeless people who are sleeping and then stungun them.

My mistake it was Ohio - it's just on NY news.