08-28-2002, 05:21 AM | #1 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: minneapolis MN
Posts: 920
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Hurting Your Friends
Have you ever hurt your friend's feelings wthout meaning to? I just did and it's a horrible feeling.
I think it's best to apologize and then leave them alone for a bit til they can forgive you. But it's hard to wait for that. Do you think it's best to wait for them to come to you when they're ready or should you go to them to see if they're still mad? I suppose it depends but is there a general rule of decorum on this?
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08-28-2002, 05:47 AM | #2 |
The Original Corruptor
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,881
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A couple years back I had "feelings" for this chick, but she just wanted to be friends. So I tried to be "just friends" but that didn't work. So one day, we had a minuscule misunderstanding, and I never saw her again.
She told me, on more than one occasion, that I was her best friend (during our three year friendhsip/relationship), and twice she said we were soul mates. She thought that she did something wrong that day, to make me leave and never speak to/see her again. But that wasn't the case. I spoke to her on Monday. |
08-28-2002, 10:59 AM | #3 |
An enigma in a conundrum
Join Date: Oct 1999
Posts: 6,476
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If you realize the error was yours, do not wait. As life goes along friends become less and less. Experience teaches us to trust less not more (all liberals are exempt from this generality).
Tell your friend of your error and sorrow that is has hurt his/her feelings. Then you can let them sort it all out at least knowing you've done what is correct and forthright in a meaningful way.
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08-28-2002, 01:25 PM | #4 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: and why do YOU want to know?
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I KNOW YOUR PAIN!! I'm horrible for hurting people's feelings accidently, and having it happen back. I think it takes a true friend to rush back and apoligize ASAP.
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08-28-2002, 02:08 PM | #5 |
im quite stupid
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cockermouth
Posts: 2,058
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believe it or not but i can be quite insensative sometimes
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Yeah god hes ok but i would rather be judged by a sheep than that idiot |
08-28-2002, 03:07 PM | #6 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: May 2002
Location: America!
Posts: 480
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I've hurt my friend's feelings a bunch of times without meaning too.I felt realy bad about it but we talked and then she understood. But then she hurt me really bad and it took a while to get over what she said. So i think it kinda depends on how bad their feelings were hurt.
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"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: 'it goes on'." ~robert frost |
08-28-2002, 09:12 PM | #7 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Hobbiton
Posts: 739
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I did that to my friend on aug. 6th at meet the teacher thingy at school, and i just apolagized and we both mooved on and didn't ceer, she was very understanding! I don't know about your friend, but try to apolagize and see what happens, one time it took a couple of days with me and my friend, but that was a fight that we had because we misunderstood eachother.
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08-28-2002, 11:57 PM | #8 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: america junior
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Since i have no tact, and i don't think before i speak most of the time, i do a lot, and its horrible, but usually i get mad when they get mad, and it makes it a lot worse. If i just apologized right away my life would be a lot easier. So thats what i think everyone should usually do!
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08-29-2002, 12:51 AM | #9 |
Enting
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 77
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I usually don't hurt feelings, everyone is used to me, I usually don't say mean things and if I do, everyone knows its a joke since all my friend consider me passive.
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08-29-2002, 05:29 AM | #10 |
The Original Corruptor
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,881
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Fallings out with friends is extremely rare for me. In fact, I've only had two, both times with the same chick.
And both times (in '98 and '99), on her birthday. Luckily I don't have friends anymore, so I can't mess around with people's emotions like that. |
08-29-2002, 10:43 AM | #11 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Sep 2001
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Anduril my care-o-meter says:
not problem
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08-29-2002, 11:02 AM | #12 |
Domesticated Swing Babe
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Reality
Posts: 5,340
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I agree with Spock. The older you get, the less friends you have. Most of them are the "fairweather" type. Apologize (repeatedly if necessary!) and have lots of fun with them now! It's true, Blood runs thicker than water!
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08-29-2002, 11:04 AM | #13 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
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Quote:
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08-29-2002, 05:48 PM | #14 |
The Rogue Elf
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,722
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The only feelings I've ever hurt (or offended) was when I starting making atheist jokes one day to some Christian friends.
Apparently they didn't agree with my sense of humor. |
08-30-2002, 05:18 AM | #15 | |
Greatest Elven woman of Aman
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Having way too much fun with Fëanor's 7
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I think the best thing to do after hurting someone is to apologize as soon as possible, and then be around until the other person is ready to make friends again, even if it takes a very long time.
Quote:
It seems that the one you love most, is the one you hurt most as well.
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08-30-2002, 05:22 AM | #16 | |
im quite stupid
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cockermouth
Posts: 2,058
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Quote:
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Yeah god hes ok but i would rather be judged by a sheep than that idiot |
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08-30-2002, 06:34 AM | #17 |
Sapling
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 3
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Speaking of Christianity... there's a little funny thing I like to remember on occasion.
Evangelist Evingelast Evilgenast Evilsenagt Evilsanegt Evilsagent Evil's Agent Another one is where you turn "Desperation" into "A Rope Ends It" |
08-30-2002, 07:04 AM | #18 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 409
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Artanis
[B]I think the best thing to do after hurting someone is to apologize as soon as possible, and then be around until the other person is ready to make friends again, even if it takes a very long time. yep.......nothing ever gets resolved by keeping you're mouth closed some friends tend to come and go but it's a bit of a bassa when some leave on a sour note. these day's I do my best to keep the good ones |
08-30-2002, 08:20 AM | #19 |
Domesticated Swing Babe
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Reality
Posts: 5,340
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Hey Artanis, I'd bet your family's relationships will eventually improve...I could be wrong (hope not ) Sooner or later, one of the sisters will "crack" and break the ice, after a bit of awkwardness, the love will flow!! Hopefully.
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08-30-2002, 08:45 AM | #20 |
Greatest Elven woman of Aman
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Having way too much fun with Fëanor's 7
Posts: 4,285
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Thanks. It would be nice if they were to become friends again. But they're so proud and stubborn. It goes in the family
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