Jersey Devil Is A Traitor!!!

[Falagar]

Originally Posted by Fenir_LacDanan

THIS IS BLOODY HILARIOUS!!!!!

Ah the Fighting French. Their only victory in the last five hundred years was over Greenpeace...

Not true! They invaded Britain, remember? But wait...Vilhelm the Qonqueror's ancestor was in fact the Scandinavian viking Rollo, who, by pillaging and plundering the Frankers, forced their king to give him the throne (and the princess) while he promised to keep them safe from other vikings.

Edit: ...if we edit your post to say the last 1000 years.

[Fenir_LacDanan]

Originally Posted by Falagar

Not true! They invaded Britain, remember? But wait...Vilhelm the Qonqueror's ancestor was in fact the Scandinavian viking Rollo, who, by pillaging and plundering the Frankers, forced their king to give him the throne (and the princess) while he promised to keep them safe from other vikings.

Edit: ...if we edit your post to say the last 1000 years.

Indeed. The reason I said five and not a thousand was because I was think about the successful conclusion of the 100 years war.
But we all know that the history of French arms is a joke, so lets all drink a toast to JD heading to a nation that would surrender should a drunken German school girl stumble across the franco-german border.

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

Originally Posted by Last Child of Ungoliant

Mon Dieu!
What is the world coming to when JD disappears over to the land of cheese and wine? If he were american, would he have supported Kerry, then?

who buried my post

[Pytt]

Falagar
it was a little special, in the moment I pushed the button, it stood Last child of ungoliant as last poster, and when I was on the thread, Falagar was last. but, i read your post.

[Tessar]

*SOB* I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE! *kills self*

[Insidious Rex]

Originally Posted by Fenir_LacDanan

so lets all drink a toast to JD heading to a nation that would surrender should a drunken German school girl stumble across the franco-german border.

well shoot. who wouldnt.

[jerseydevil]

IR - I can't believe you told them this. I knew I should never have trusted you.

To tell people the truth - see what happened was I was convinced by the French news. They are so much smarter and superior than the rest of the world. They know exactly where they're going and how to rule the world properly. See my feeling - you learn from your mistakes and it seems like France has a thousand years of history and failures to fall back on. Chirac however - now he is MY hero. I just wish he could run for president of the US. My other favorite person is Koffi Annan. The whole food for oil scandal is a right wing consipiracy and is a smear campaign against him. The UN is the MOST IMPORTANT organization in the world and has solved ALL the worlds problems. Without the UN the world would be terrible with people getting their hands cut off, people dipped in acid, women stoned for minor infractions such as looking at a man, beheadings, suicide bombers - the UN does so much to prevent these things from happening.

By the way - I'm thiniking of giving up the english language completely. I see no reason for using english when French is such a beautiful and cultured language.

Jonathan - sorry for always calling you euro-whiner. You're right, everything in europe is perfect. I walk down the streets and with all the social programs and high taxes - everyone has jobs and no one is out on the streets homeless, there is NO crime at all, no graffiti, everything is like heaven in europe. It's quite unbelievable really. Oh - and the greatest thing - in france everyone wants people to be "French looking", you know - no headscarf wearers or other "outside looking" people here - so I had some plastic surgery done so I can look "French". It was great - it was completely paid for by their terrific national health care program which is billions in debt. I can now have frivolous operations whenever I want now. I think next year I might just get my tonsils out for the hell of it or should I do my appendix.

By the way - the French aren't surrender monkeys - they're just really a very generous people and misunderstood. They saw the German's wanted their country and they said okay - what is ours is yours. That's all. The rest of the world is just selfish by not giving their countries to their enemies. I wish Bush was more like that - we could have just given America to Al Qaeda. Bin Ladin wants it - America should learn from france and just be a completely giving country. It would solve a lot of death and destruction around the world. So women will have give up their freedoms and people will have to pray 5 times a day and alcohol will be outlawed, as well as most movies, but hey - the French are right - let's not overturn the world because of it all. (9/11 happens all over the world everyday - just get over it and move on. Let's all just get along and be happy.

I have a meeting with my new pal Chirac tomorrow. I'm going to suggest how I think that the EU should just be headquartered in paris and that all countries should let france do what ever they want. I'm quickly becoming Chirac's right-hand man. I really don't think Blair should be standing in the way of Chiracs power grab for control. Oh - and the friendship between Schroeder and Chirac - it's so sweet how they vote for each other when one isn't able to make an EU meeting. That is TRUE friendship and I think a lot of countries can learn from them.

Vive la France. Mon ami Chirac. Oh - I have a beret too now. Never liked baseball caps - but berets are really very cool. Well let me go back to my french wine, my truffles, brie and my Cornish Hen's a l'Orange. Oh - and tonight I'll bomb a McDonalds - because I don't want to have evil America infringing on my way of life anymore and destroy great culture with that Mickey Mouse and fastfood crap they call culture. Do you know that in france that the evil McDonalds multinational corporation hires Americans to actually drag French people to the McDonalds, tie them to a chair, steal their money and then force feed them hamburgers and fries? McDonalds doesn't stay in business there because French people actually CHOOSE to go there. It's the same with sucky American movies too although Jerry Lewis was a complete genius and I'll go freely with the other french people to see him. Why the hell don't Americans support Jerry Lewis? Another example of ignorant Americans not being able to see what REAL culture is and real humor I guess.

Well back to my french cigaretets - yeah - took up smoking - had to (national past time or something like that) and I have now started drinking real coffee. No wonder I never liked coffee before - in America it's like water. This stuff in France has a real bite to it.

*Puts beret over heart and sings*

Allons enfants de la Patrie,
Le jour de gloire est arrivé!
Contre nous de la tyrannie,
L'étendard sanglant est levé, (bis)
Entendez-vous dans les campagnes
Mugir ces féroces soldats?
Ils viennent jusque dans vos bras
Egorger vos fils et vos compagnes!

Refrain
Aux armes, citoyens,
Formez vos bataillons,
Marchons, marchons!
Qu'un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons!

Que veut cette horde d'esclaves
De traîtres, de rois conjurés?
Pour qui ces ignobles entraves
Ces fers dès longtemps préparés? (bis)
Français, pour nous, ah! quel outrage
Quels transports il doit exciter?
C'est nous qu'on ose méditer
De rendre Ã* l'antique esclavage!

Refrain

Quoi ces cohortes étrangères!
Feraient la loi dans nos foyers!
Quoi ! ces phalanges mercenaires
Terrasseraient nos fils guerriers! (bis)
Grand Dieu ! par des mains enchaînées
Nos fronts sous le joug se ploieraient
De vils despotes deviendraient
Les maîtres des destinées.

Refrain

Tremblez, tyrans et vous perfides
L'opprobre de tous les partis
Tremblez ! vos projets parricides
Vont enfin recevoir leurs prix! (bis)
Tout est soldat pour vous combattre
S'ils tombent, nos jeunes héros
La France en produit de nouveaux,
Contre vous tout prêts Ã* se battre

Refrain

Français, en guerriers magnanimes
Portez ou retenez vos coups!
Épargnez ces tristes victimes
A regret s'armant contre nous (bis)
Mais ces despotes sanguinaires,
Mais ces complices de Bouillé
Tous ces tigres qui, sans pitié
Déchirent le sein de leur mère!

Refrain

Nous entrerons dans la carrière
Quand nos aînés n'y seront plus,
Nous y trouverons leur poussière
Et la trace de leurs vertus (bis)
Bien moins jaloux de leur survivre
Que de partager leur cercueil,
Nous aurons le sublime orgueil
De les venger ou de les suivre!

Refrain

Amour sacré de la Patrie,
Conduis, soutiens nos bras vengeurs
Liberté, Liberté chérie,
Combats avec tes défenseurs! (bis)
Sous nos drapeaux que la victoire
Accoure Ã* tes mâles accents,
Que tes ennemis expirants
Voient ton triomphe et notre gloire!

Refrain

It's like a song about triumphing over the tyranny of America and escaping the clutches of that lame, uncultured, obnoxious, fat, ignorant people.

[brownjenkins]

i don't know whether to , or

[sun-star]

So it is true! The prayers of a grateful continent have been answered.

[Sister Golden Hair]

JD-You stinking traitor. You better not come back to the US. All your BS about NJ and America.

You had plastic surgery to look French? So, what you're saying is: now you are a short, squat, slavoring perv that is drunk all the time? You are a revolting pig.

And you can speak French all you want. Nobody really could understand you when you spoke English, so it doesn't matter.

[Valandil]

JD... is it REALLY TRUE that New Jersey was established by French colonists??

[jerseydevil]

Oh - I forgot to mention - my hero, as well as to other french citizens, Michael Moore is coming out with a new movie. It's about the force feeding of french people at McDonalds. It's definitely a MUST see and will really open up your eyes to the evilness of obese America (he discoved that there is this US government policy to make other countries fat so American's aren't made fun of anymore).

[Janny]

Marvellous satire!

That is satire, right?

[jerseydevil]

Originally Posted by Janny

Marvellous satire!

That is satire, right?

Hey - there's some left over Janny if anyone wants some. Come and get it.

[Janny]

You really are still you!

[Wayfarer]

Originally Posted by Somewone who is NOT Insidious Rex

Jerry Lewis was a complete genius and I'll go freely with the other french people to see him. Why the hell don't Americans support Jerry Lewis? Another example of ignorant Americans not being able to see what REAL culture is and real humor I guess.

Wasn't Jerry Lewis VP to the Reagan administration? Why hasn't he run for President yet?

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally Posted by Wayfarer

Wasn't Jerry Lewis VP to the Reagan administration? Why hasn't he run for President yet?

Wayfarer, that is so funny to me that you say that. When my son was a little boy, I asked him once if he knew who the VP was under Reagan, and he seriously answered me: "Jerry Lewis"

[jerseydevil]

Originally Posted by Wayfarer

Wasn't Jerry Lewis VP to the Reagan administration? Why hasn't he run for President yet?

Wayfarer - why did you quote me as IR? Are you trying to say something here?

Originally Posted by Insidious Rex
Jerry Lewis was a complete genius and I'll go freely with the other french people to see him. Why the hell don't Americans support Jerry Lewis? Another example of ignorant Americans not being able to see what REAL culture is and real humor I guess.

[Insidious Rex]

Hey! Hes the french one here! Im 'Merican as apple pie. and Jerry Lee Lewis?? I dont even like the Monkees!

[Wayfarer]

Heh. I hit the 'quote' button above instead of below your post. All fixed.

And if anybody didn't get my joke... well, there's not much I can say to you. Cretins.