Entmoot Election 2010 - Announce your candidacy here! Campaign Managers For Sale

[Varnafindë]

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

As opposed to just long enough

Which is probably how you would see it - from your point of view

[PYRO]

Who are all these people, really? Do they all suffer from a sickness?

[inked]

De "siknes" vill be removd ven Hektor is Presidant fur Lif! He und Acaly vil tak away al siknes und dizez und poverty und vant. He vil be de EntMut Obama und vil restor chokolat und vuden nikels und pec und prosperity to al not to mentun Nobl prizs und do avay wid de grenhowz gass. De rivers vil run wid de milk chokolat und de chokolat glacirs vil be restord.

Der vil be no mor temblorz in de New Madrid fault lin. Gaiac (guiac?) harmony vil be restord just lik wid de Obama und de rel vorld.

Acaly vil grow de fud in de garden und hungr vil ces.

Al dis fur yur vot!

[Noble Elf Lord]

Originally Posted by Jonathan

That does it. My vote is swaying Hector's way! (or Acally's, whatever )
Call it brainwashing, Stockholm syndrome or temporary mental derangement - I hereby exclaim

Hektor und Acally fur prezidantz!

Definitely the Stockholm Syndrome.

Euro-English? Doesn't that corrupt English, creating in time wrong accent even to native speakers? Vote for Coffeehouse, and anyone who so wants gets free Finnish-lessons from me.
Personal lessons! No stuff like "here's your to-do-list - for tomorrow!"
It'd be personally suited to every student.

AND we'll revive the Riddle Thread! It's way too quiet, isn't it?

[hectorberlioz]

As Inked so gracefully stated, Acally and I will not only reduce the ocean level back to normal, but we will also heal the trees and communicate with the Mother Spirit of the Earth. We will also take requests, though we can't guarantee the Mother Spirit will always respond .

Also, as we've promised before, we will bring back goodness and jollity to Entmoot.

As we speak, Acally is preparing a speech outlining Entmoot's offensive against Mirkwood's Evil Elvish Legion that is currently occupying the North of Fangorn. Why haven't the other candidates mentioned this issue? Why haven't they told you about the Trees and Ents being chopped down by Elvish Chainsaws? Why haven't they mentioned the human families in that area who are suffering from Excessive Sun Exposure because the trees in their area are no longer there?

Quite simply because: the other candidates don't have the answers to these problems, and they don't want to mention them lest voters question their leadership abilities.

It's nice to imagine that we can all hold hands and find the magic in ourselves, and even easier to just sit around eating chocolate. Or simply dissapear entirely, which is the alternative that X Perry Mint advocates. But let's face it: in the real world there are dangerous elves who are crawling around our homes, looking to murder our babies and steal our money. Ocean levels have to be reduced, and the Mother Spirit has to be contacted ASAP.

Acalewia offers leadership in a time of need. Currently most of her unrewarding work is being done behind-the-scenes, making all the necessary connections with ambassadors of other nations, and planning strategies to defend Entmoot from military foreign invaders. She's usually too tired to campaign directly because she's so busy trying to secure your safety. She's so dedicated that she can recite all the nations of middle-earth in her sleep, from the 1st Age to the beginning of the 4th age.

[Midge]

Official Platform of the Entmoot Micronationalist Chocolate Liberty Party

Our family values affect everything we do - we will not be seen taking part in any scandals and neither will we oppress our fellow 'Mooters, as both of those things are not supported by our shared value system.

As leaders of Entmoot, we will make the Moot more relaxing and friendly - a place you want to come to enjoy yourself to get away from real life. This includes improvements to threads, forums and the 'Moot itself and as many of our noble predecessors have tried, we will continue to try to reduce the dreaded Rule for the comfort of all 'Mooters everywhere!

We will make sure that the 'Moot is a safe place to be - there will be no danger of bankruptcy, Mirkwood dwellers, or evil counter-personalities of super-heroes, be they black or green. Mootcare will be better than ever - if you are physically injured on the premises of the 'Moot, you will have full coverage!

We see Entmoot as more than just a collection of discussions - it's a community of its own, a small nation for all of us to belong to. We want to get recognition for Entmoot as a Micronation.

Vote Midge/Varna for the Freedom you've always wanted - with chocolate!

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by Varnafindë

Like, when she or he disappears for a few months?

Yes, and runs for president 6 hours after returning!

Exactly what are Coffeehouse's motives for running? I'm not being antagonistic here or anything, I just want to know

What are YOUR reasons for running, Varna?

[Midge]

Wait, wait. This is the first I've heard of this tree-cutting problem. Where are you getting your news? What are your sources? I think you're just making up problems to make it sound like you're more proactive.

And why would reducing ocean levels matter? We are in an extremely land-locked area of Middle-Earth, with several hundred leagues between us and the ocean in any given direction.

I would like to defend myself and Varna by saying this: When we see a problem, we will do everything in our power to fix it. We promised safety here at the 'Moot and that's what we will deliver. We are not typical politicians, confusing people with Euro-English and bribery*. Instead, we are simple 'Mooters like yourselves who want to make Entmoot a better place to be. Serving all 'Mooters is a duty we can fulfill for you!

*You might think that our offers of chocolate are bribery. In actuality, we both love chocolate very much. These offers are us desiring to share our chocolate wealth with you, the dwellers of Entmoot. Do not attribute kindness to evil, please.

[hectorberlioz]

Well, the tree-cutting problem is just the latest in a long line of problems we've had with the Mirkwood elves in general (see Teacup Mystery #2 for more information).

It's a given at this point, so I didn't feel the need to state the obvious.

[Earniel]

You know, as a self-proclaimed Elf, I find all this anti-Elf invective deeply disturbing. I mean, Elven chain-saws? Really? Whatever next, Dwarves swearing by dynamite?

I call shenanigans. (Always wanted to use that word somewhere. )

[hectorberlioz]

Not all elves are like that, but it's the particular nature of the Mirkwood elves. It's the leftover influence of Sauron/Necromancer, no doubt.

Which is why Acalewia and I are starting a Foundation For Mirkwood Healing, which will help deeply-disturbed elves to recover from Post-Sauron Trauma.

[Varnafindë]

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

What are YOUR reasons for running, Varna?

Besides what's in our platform about how we want to serve Entmoot, you've just given me another reason, hector!

I hadn't heard about this tree-cutting problem either. And I fear that someone has been planting information with the purpose of giving the Elves of Mirkwood a bad name. Individuals may be doing the wrong thing, of course, like stealing that recipe, but I very much doubt that there would really be anything bad going on on such a large scale as you are suggesting. With Midge, I ask, what are your sources? Are they reliable?

And if they are, I offer to serve. I'm an Elf myself, related to Galadriel on my father's side and to Celeborn on my mother's side (and thus to Elrond on both), although not to the Mirkwood Elves. But still, they are my people (distantly), and I wouldn't want them to make fools - or villains - of themselves. Perhaps I need to go as ambassador to Mirkwood, to try to talk some sense into them. Perhaps they would listen to another Elf, even though she is a Noldo. I could only try - for the good of Fangorn and Entmoot. All the more reason for running for a position where my voice could carry more weight.

If the need for it is real, that is.

[Midge]

And besides, Hector, you yourself mentioned in the Teacup Mystery # 2 that peace with Mirkwood had been made. The problem with the recipe was just a couple of leftover greedy elves who hadn't been reformed by the peace. It would take more than a couple of leftover greedy elves to start cutting down the forest. You're talking serious peace treaty betrayal here. You better watch who/what you slander!

[hectorberlioz]

Time passes. New Elven leaders come into office. They aren't all as friendly as ones during mine and Sasquatch's/Nurv's presidencies.

And I see what you two are doing: blaming me for something I can't control and am not accountable for out of office! I didn't make the elves the way they are, you know. But I sure will kick their butts out of Fangorn. I don't mind peaceful Mirkwood elves who just want to come here and live normal lives, but most of them are pretty loyal to the Elf Dictatorship.

[Coffeehouse]

Originally Posted by Noble Elf Lord

AND we'll revive the Riddle Thread! It's way too quiet, isn't it?

We will revive the Riddle Thread and a HOST of other threads that long now have suffered from abandonment and under-funding by consecutive presidencies.

Dear Mooters, dear creative citizens of this great forum, The Entmoot Freedom Party will use every ounce of our serving capacity to reinvigorate and breath new life into our threads. We have a fantastic variety and we aim to keep it that way

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

Also, as we've promised before, we will bring back goodness and jollity to Entmoot.

To the Entmoot Freedom Party, rising now to work for a more magical and happier Entmoot, aim to fight against precisely the less-than-truthful promises of 'goodness' and 'jolity' that the Acally-Hector ticket are trying to seduce everyone with.

It seems to us that their past actions speak volumes. Hector has shown himself to be an easily corruptable president, with a great lust for extending his own powerbase at the cost of our liberty and jailing all dissidents.

We need everyone to vote against part 2 of this madness!

Originally Posted by Eärniel

You know, as a self-proclaimed Elf, I find all this anti-Elf invective deeply disturbing. I mean, Elven chain-saws? Really?

Agreed. Already their campaign is filled with anti-agendas.. a thinly veiled attack on the integrity of the Mirkwood elves, dissemination of false reports about tree-cutting and molestation. It's scary!

Originally Posted by Varnafindë

And I fear that someone has been planting information with the purpose of giving the Elves of Mirkwood a bad name.

Dear Varna, here we can agree. The Hectorian smear-campaign machine has sputtered into life and, we believe, is funded by Mordorian grease.

Originally Posted by Varnafindë

Perhaps I need to go as ambassador to Mirkwood, to try to talk some sense into them. Perhaps they would listen to another Elf, even though she is a Noldo.

I'd like to, on behalf of the Entmoot Freedom Party, extend a warm hand to you and welcome you to serve as our Ambassador to Mirkwood and succeed with good Entmoot policies

And that should be the most important thing right? I think every Mooter looks for leadership that is couragous in unpopular decisions that promote the long-term well-being of our Moot than populist wibbely-wobbely 'leaders' who would sell any message and any story just to be elected.

We want to put the integrity and magic(!) back into our Moot and treat each others, as citizens, as the creative sparks we can be

Let's find the Magic in Ourselves! Vote Coffee, Insidious and Noble, we'll fight for that!

[X Perry Mint]

As a true gentleman, I have waited until all candidates had answered the questions before putting up mine. So here they are:


#1. What does Entmoot need that you can deliver?
Leadership, obviously. The Entmoot has languished too long in peace and under complacent administration. It needs a firmer hand.

#2. Did Peter Jackson use the cartoon Return of the King as a model for his film?
I'm sorry, I fear I prefer the book. No offense to the undoubtedly talented Mr. Jackson.

#3. Once in office, what will you do in regards to Fangorn/Entmoot's contentious relations with Mirkwood? Who will you send to Mirkwood as ambassador?
I shall marry the beautiful Elven daughter of the King of Mirkwood. He's bound to have one, possibly more, so I might even get to choose. Marriage is the perfect unifier, after all.

The ambassador to Mirkwood will then have a pretty cushy job, which I shall therefor award to a prominent mooter. What concerns me more is the ambassadorial envoy to Mordor, now that fellow is going to have his job cut out for him! Obviously, someone who has a competent grip on politics --like a well-respected and well-known ex-president for instance-- will need to be send.

#4. What will you do to try and get rid of the 90-second rule?
This will require a lenghty study before hand. My initial plans entails that I shall bombard the administration with statistics and safety regulations, until they capitulate within a reasonable time and chose a more modern time limit.

Unfortunately this may then backfire if they decide to establish a 180-seconds-rule simply to spite me, the dictatorial bunch they are. Careful treading shall be of importance.

#5. What will you do about the current mess of the Swiss Bank of Entmoot? How will you keep it from falling apart without bankrupting the government and the voters?
I shall put a trustworthy man at the helm, someone like Lotho Sackville, who has shown great leadership and responsibility in the past. I'm positive we will iron those tiny personal flaws, like greed and hoarding, out in time for the inauguration.

#6. What about MootCare?
What do you take me for? A bloody socialist?! Even the Houses of Healing has bills to pay.

#7. Why is there a pony tied in the back alley of the Admins & Mods Administration Building? To whome does it belong? Why should I care?
I'm glad you asked that.

#8. Why is the chocolate supply in Fangorn always decreasing and never increasing, despite constant influx of chocolate import?
Fear not. The chocolate supply is in fact increasing perpetually. Any surplus chocolate found on the market is stored in strategical stocks so we will be able to bridge possible future decreases in chocolate import. This may create a feeling of decrease in supply, but it is not an actual decrease.

#9. Short essay question: Who is your favorite Tolkien character? Explain why. Explain how this character has inspired your decision to run for president, and why this character's ideals are right for everyone.
That has to be King Elessar. Look how he managed to get re-elected time and time again. One of the longest rules in Gondor. Truly an inspiration for us all.

#10. Last but not least: What will you do to make Tolkien, his works, and Entmoot better-known and deservedly loved by the world?
I find this an area very hard to improve on. The People of the Entmoot has made great strides forward in this. Surely Tolkien tops nearly every Best Fantasy List, what more can we desire? Three times Hurray for the Entmoot!

[Varnafindë]

I have added your answer to the list of answers, X Perry Mint.

I have also added links to the platforms of the various parties (the posts where they present them, that is) - not sure about Hektor and Acally's platform yet, though.

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by Varnafindë

I have added your answer to the list of answers, X Perry Mint.

I have also added links to the platforms of the various parties (the posts where they present them, that is) - not sure about Hektor and Acally's platform yet, though.

Varna,

On this same page, right above Midge's post with a bold headline. I offer that post of mine as outlining the Acally/Hector platform .

[Acalewia]

I would like to clarify something to those that are trying to paint us as elf haters

If you take a look at my title, I am half elf. I have nothing against the Elves of Mirkwood but sometime drastic measures must be taken on the path to peace. The president I served under as VP is also elf if I recall correct. So you tell me why I would be an Elf hater? Tell me where I have smeared the name of the elves, Mirkwood or other. Do you seriously think I would want to campagne for President of Entmoot and claim to hate all Elves when the majority of Entmoot has elf blood? That would be the same as someone running for president and claim to hate the counrty they are wanting to lead.

[Midge]

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

As we speak, Acally is preparing a speech outlining Entmoot's offensive against Mirkwood's Evil Elvish Legion that is currently occupying the North of Fangorn. Why haven't the other candidates mentioned this issue? Why haven't they told you about the Trees and Ents being chopped down by Elvish Chainsaws?

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

Time passes. New Elven leaders come into office. They aren't all as friendly as ones during mine and Sasquatch's/Nurv's presidencies.

... I didn't make the elves the way they are, you know. But I sure will kick their butts out of Fangorn. I don't mind peaceful Mirkwood elves who just want to come here and live normal lives, but most of them are pretty loyal to the Elf Dictatorship.

Acally, you haven't technically said anything about elves, but Hector is throwing around some pretty strong words like "evil elvish legions", "trees and ents being chopped down by elvish chainsaws" and "loyal to the Elf Dictatorship" that make us feel that he is *slightly* anti-elf and maybe a bit of a drama queen. Because he is your VP, this reflects on you. Does this make sense?

Also:

She's so dedicated that she can recite all the nations of middle-earth in her sleep, from the 1st Age to the beginning of the 4th age.

Note: I don't want to be a jerk and say, "PROVE IT!" but I'm also interested and would want to hear this (at least for a little bit).

Hector: In your first post, you've added a shortened version of our party name. Could you extend it to its full name, the Entmoot Micronationalist Chocolate Liberty Party?