01-23-2007, 02:18 PM | #1 |
Master of Orchestration President Emeritus of Entmoot 2004-2008
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This is Hilarious!
Upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0
source unknown Tech Support Request Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me? - Jonathan Powell Dear Jonathan Powell- This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. WARNING DO NOT TRY TO: un-install, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. Trying to un-install Wife 1.0 can be disastrous. Doing so may destroy your hard and/or floppy drive. Trying to un-install or remove Wife 1.0 will destroy valuable system resources. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under Warnings- Alimony/Child Support. Others have tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 in the background, while Wife 1.0 is running. Eventually Wife 1.0 detects Girlfriend 1.0 and a system conflict occurs, this can lead to a non- recoverable system crash. Some users have tried to download similar products such as Fling and 1NiteStand. Often their systems have become infected with a virus. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance. Suggestions for improved operation of Wife 1.0 -Monthly use utilities such as TLC and FTD -Frequently use Communicator 5.0 -Tech Support
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01-23-2007, 02:59 PM | #2 |
Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!)
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That's hilarious, hector!
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01-23-2007, 03:39 PM | #3 |
I'm Eru, and lord of Arda.
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Totally.
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01-23-2007, 04:31 PM | #4 |
Master of Orchestration President Emeritus of Entmoot 2004-2008
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I love that little tag-on in the end: "Frequently us Communicator. 5.0"
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01-23-2007, 04:58 PM | #5 |
The Lovely Hobbit-Lass
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That is very funny!!
..I want to see the Boyfriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 version!
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01-23-2007, 04:59 PM | #6 |
The Black Númenórean
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Hahahah, good one Hec. I needed the laugh.
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Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. |
01-23-2007, 04:59 PM | #7 |
Master of Orchestration President Emeritus of Entmoot 2004-2008
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Can't help you there...I didn't write this bugger.
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01-23-2007, 05:02 PM | #8 |
The Black Númenórean
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Well, just by posting it you gave me the much needed laugh, so the credit is yours.
Whether you deserve it or not....
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Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. |
01-23-2007, 05:03 PM | #9 |
Master of Orchestration President Emeritus of Entmoot 2004-2008
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I don't doubt that I could write a decent Boyfriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 though
I have a little time, maybe I'll try...
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01-23-2007, 05:18 PM | #10 |
Master of Orchestration President Emeritus of Entmoot 2004-2008
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Okay...here's a load of moan and groans...
Tech Support Request. Dear Tech Support I recently installed Husband 1.0 and it has gone beserk on me. I had not planned on dealing with such a stupid program! The package says that Husband 1.0 is designed to protect and shield me against all adversity. It fell far short of the mark. Not only does Husband 1.0 not work, it works far less than Boyfriend 1.0! Please Help. ~Jenny Barr Barian Dear Jenny. I assure you that Husband 1.0 will work just fine, and if you’ve read the manual under section MANIPULATION 101, you might find that it advises a daily reboot or lecture to Husband 1.0. If you really must, remind Husband 1.0 of its constant failures. DO NOT under any circumstances try to re-activate Husband 1.0. All of the program’s memory will be completely lost. Husband 1.0 takes a long time to adjust, but if you beat it enough it will learn. If indeed you cannot successfully run the program, or if the program tries to trick you into a co-equal running operation, I strongly advise a fast ditching of the program, and you MUST LEAVE the vicinity or even the state. -Tech Support
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ACALEWIA- President of Entmoot hectorberlioz- Vice President of Entmoot Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life! Join the discussion at Entmoot Election 2010. "Stupidissimo!"~Toscanini The Da CINDY Code The Epic Poem Of The Balrog of Entmoot: Here ~NEW! ~ Thinking of summer vacation? AboutNewJersey.com - NJ Travel & Tourism Guide Last edited by hectorberlioz : 01-23-2007 at 05:46 PM. |
01-23-2007, 05:32 PM | #11 |
The Black Númenórean
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Instead of 'kicking' subsititue 'rebooting' and insteada of 'do not re-boot' put in 'do not de-activate' Should sound a little better.
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Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. |
01-23-2007, 05:45 PM | #12 |
Master of Orchestration President Emeritus of Entmoot 2004-2008
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Good idea, thanks Sane...
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01-23-2007, 06:03 PM | #13 | |
The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
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Quote:
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01-23-2007, 06:08 PM | #14 |
Master of Orchestration President Emeritus of Entmoot 2004-2008
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Thats why I'm here, to make sure you guys are laughing...
(Even when it's me you laugh at...)
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ACALEWIA- President of Entmoot hectorberlioz- Vice President of Entmoot Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life! Join the discussion at Entmoot Election 2010. "Stupidissimo!"~Toscanini The Da CINDY Code The Epic Poem Of The Balrog of Entmoot: Here ~NEW! ~ Thinking of summer vacation? AboutNewJersey.com - NJ Travel & Tourism Guide Last edited by hectorberlioz : 01-23-2007 at 06:11 PM. |
01-23-2007, 06:12 PM | #15 |
Dreamweaver
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ah, humor at it's finest....
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01-24-2007, 10:29 AM | #16 |
Elf Lady
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It's funny Thanks for sharing it
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