An Expression of Anger

[Ñólendil]

Hey everybody, only a couple of people have read this one (which I guess is true of all my poems), so I thought I'd share with everybody. Let me know what you think, like/don't like, think I can improve.

I don't have a title for it, but it is really just an expression of how I felt at the time, which was angry. So here it is:

I shall be lit with fire
And I shall burn so brightly
That they will turn away
From my face in fear,
In awe,
In wonder,
At the pulsing power
Of my human heart
That screams and crackles
In red, orange, yellow, green, blue
Hot blue flame.
Oh how it shall scream
The tongues of saints and sinners
In one tone of raw truth:
That though all worlds collide
And die down in shame,
I shall be recalled,
I shall be recalled,
By survivors,
Or new life,
As the man who burned so brightly.
Recall me, you damned fools!
Recall me!


_________

I'm not really sure anymore about that line naming all the colors of the flame. Do you think I should take it out, and just leave "hot blue flame"?

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

well, it's certainly different, i like it, though, dont get me wrong.

how about
'The Fire of Truth and Anger'

[Lief Erikson]

Ñólendil . . . you actually felt this?



(Gives a low whistle)

[Ñólendil]

Well, yeah Lief, I actually felt this I don't literally want to stand on a hill and be lit with fire, but I was trying to express my anger. Anger is, after all, rather irrational. I just sort of took the perspective of, "if you could actually see my anger, what would it look like? If I just put this feeling into words, what would it say?"

The result, I hope, is a poem about, yes, anger, but also bitterness and pride. I guess I felt kicked around, and so naturally desired a place above all others, and because I felt kicked I desired to kick back, hence a face that inspires fear, awe, and wonder. Things weren't going my way, so I wanted everything to go my way, I wanted to impress, to shock, and stand out as the utmost importance in a new world after universal death and destruction. The man who burned so brightly. I think that's honest, uncensored anger right there. At least for me.

But this is how I felt, not how I thought on any intellectual level.

Ungoliant, what was really different about it? Not to challenge that opinion at all, but just to know where you're coming from. What struck you as very different?

[Lizra]

I think it's great! It flows very well, with good rhthym. I think I know the feeling also! The word "recalled"..is that another way of saying I shall be remembered? I wasn't quite clear on that particular word.

[Ñólendil]

Lizra, thanks. And yeah, "recalled" is synonymous with "remembered". Like when you say "I don't recall that,"="I don't remember".

I think I might have used "recall" rather than "remember" because it fits better as a word in the end. More climactic, I guess.

[Lief Erikson]

It just seemed extremely intense. That's why I asked. It felt like utter rage, fury beyond words (obviously only nearly beyond words ). Well written, but slightly freaky . I'm sure I've never felt rage that intense.