"Missing Scenes" from Tolkien's books

Gordis · 04-06-2006, 07:15 PM

This is a humorous thread inspired by Olmer's observation

Quote:

Like this piece with Galadriel's conversation. Hillarious!!
I wish we could have a separate thread where we could collect such "pearls".
Sometimes you feel pity that they are getting lost in shuffles.

Indeed, I feel this way myself. Sometimes, when trying to prove your point, you invent a humorous short story as Val did below.So here is the thread to collect such pearls from all other Tolkien threads.

Note, it is NOT FOR GENERAL SILLINESS, the entry should be canon-friendly - more or less, or canon-friendly with some humorous twist. You may post your own pearls or other people pearls - with due reference to the author.

I start with Val's story.

Missing scene from the Unfinished Tales. Galadriel and Celeborn are in Lorien sometime around the beginning of the Third Age.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valandil

G: "Well Celeborn - I guess we've worn out our welcome with King Amroth."

C: "Yeah - he never really bought that line about our being his parents, did he?"

G: "Oh, but that gave us a convenient excuse not to marry Celebrian off to him."

C: "So... where to now? Looks like the Dunedain have over-run our old home-on-the-lake."

G: "I was thinking that Rivendell might be a nice change of pace. Besides... Elrond is still single, isn't he?"

Lizra · 04-07-2006, 06:23 AM

From chapter 12, Flight to the Ford,
"The land around them was broken up into endless, uninteresting sections of dull, monotonous, nondescript vegetation. To their south were repetitive stretches of tedious flatland, pockmarked with miscellaneous brambles, underbrush and thickets of nebulous wildwood. To the north loomed midsized stretches of insignificant hills, some with sedgy turf, others full of shrubby brush, heath, furze, gorse and broom. Beyond that, endless areas of slightly elevated woodlands appeared, that gradually sloped toward medium rises of undetermined forest."
"The ancient path they followed was filled with small to medium sized greyish white and beige stones, some more rounded than others. The dirt was a gritty, sandy, scrapple of dull, pulverized rock encrusted ancient dust, though the travelers were barely aware of the world worn path they doggedly trod."

Gordis · 04-07-2006, 06:34 AM

Well done, Lizra!

Gordis · 04-07-2006, 11:30 AM

A missing scene from "the Hobbit":

Somewhere in Misty mountains, TA 2941

Gandalf:
-Bilbo, give me that ring for a moment...(Puts the ring on).

-Let us see if it can kindle that fire (spark and flames)...

-Hmm, how about breaking that rock? (Boom!)

-Most interesting! How about contacting someone? (Ring-ring)

-Hello, Galadriel, darling! How are you? And Celeborn? And grandchildren?

- Eh? No, I call not with Narya, with some other ring I have picked up. I am just testing it. (Gives her a mental order: Sneeze 3 times)

Galadriel: sneezes three times.

Gandalf:
-Oh! it must be the One! How fortunate I stopped before ordering a nazgul to sing "O Elbereth Gilthoniel..."!

Gordis · 04-12-2006, 12:31 PM

Posted by CAB

TA 2050 The Witch-King to King Earnur (Via Palantiri)

“The prophesy says that no living man can defeat me. That doesn’t disqualify YOU though, now does it?”

04-07-2006, 06:23 AM	#2
Lizra Domesticated Swing Babe Join Date: May 2002 Location: Reality Posts: 5,340	From chapter 12, Flight to the Ford, "The land around them was broken up into endless, uninteresting sections of dull, monotonous, nondescript vegetation. To their south were repetitive stretches of tedious flatland, pockmarked with miscellaneous brambles, underbrush and thickets of nebulous wildwood. To the north loomed midsized stretches of insignificant hills, some with sedgy turf, others full of shrubby brush, heath, furze, gorse and broom. Beyond that, endless areas of slightly elevated woodlands appeared, that gradually sloped toward medium rises of undetermined forest." "The ancient path they followed was filled with small to medium sized greyish white and beige stones, some more rounded than others. The dirt was a gritty, sandy, scrapple of dull, pulverized rock encrusted ancient dust, though the travelers were barely aware of the world worn path they doggedly trod." __________________ Happy Atheist Go Democrats! Last edited by Lizra : 04-07-2006 at 06:24 AM.

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04-07-2006, 06:34 AM	#3
Gordis Lady of the Ulairi Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Minas Morgul Posts: 2,783	Well done, Lizra!

04-07-2006, 11:30 AM	#4
Gordis Lady of the Ulairi Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Minas Morgul Posts: 2,783	A missing scene from "the Hobbit": Somewhere in Misty mountains, TA 2941 Gandalf: -Bilbo, give me that ring for a moment...(Puts the ring on). -Let us see if it can kindle that fire (spark and flames)... -Hmm, how about breaking that rock? (Boom!) -Most interesting! How about contacting someone? (Ring-ring) -Hello, Galadriel, darling! How are you? And Celeborn? And grandchildren? - Eh? No, I call not with Narya, with some other ring I have picked up. I am just testing it. (Gives her a mental order: Sneeze 3 times) Galadriel: sneezes three times. Gandalf: -Oh! it must be the One! How fortunate I stopped before ordering a nazgul to sing "O Elbereth Gilthoniel..."!

04-12-2006, 12:31 PM	#5
Gordis Lady of the Ulairi Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Minas Morgul Posts: 2,783	Posted by CAB TA 2050 The Witch-King to King Earnur (Via Palantiri) “The prophesy says that no living man can defeat me. That doesn’t disqualify YOU though, now does it?”