03-25-2002, 10:32 AM | #1 |
Sapling
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7
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Monty Python and the Crack of Doom?
There was a thread on the "Tolkien and Inklings" forum which got Tolkien characters spouting Monty Python. So, anyone want to start?
Legolas: "Ai! Ai !! a rabbit is come!!" "So tell us Gandalf, how you fared against the Rabbit of Moria." "Nay, name him not!! Well, errr.... the artist died..." Mouth of Sauron (at the Morannon): "You don't frighten us, Gondorian pig-dogs! ---Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Aragorn-king, you and all your silly Gondorian knnnniggets. Thppppt!" .............................................. and one more: Aragorn: How do you do, good lady. I am Aragorn, King of the Dunedain. Who's castle is that? IORETH: King of the who? Aragorn: The Dunedain. IORETH: Who are the Dunedain? Aragorn: Well, we all are. we're all Duneadin and I am your king. IORETH: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective. DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. ..... A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes-- Aragorn: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet! Ioreth: Order, eh -- who does he think he is? Aragorn: I am your king! Ioreth: Well, I didn't vote for you. Aragorn: You don't vote for kings. Ioreth: Well, 'ow did you become king then? Aragorn: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Anduril from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Aragorn, was to carry Anduril. [singing stops] That is why I am your king! DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. |
03-25-2002, 12:03 PM | #2 |
Hoplite Nomad
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 3,931
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Gimli and Legolas over Boromir
Legolas " he's dead." gimli " he's not dead he's sleeping"
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
03-25-2002, 01:57 PM | #3 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Pinnath Gelin, formerly in Angaron...
Posts: 228
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heheh, imagine a parody of the 'knights of the round table' song:
"we're the knights of the 9 rings...."
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O mor henion i dhu Ely siriar, el sila Ai! Aniron.... Tiro! El eria e mor I 'lir en el luitha 'uren Ai! Aniron... FRODO LIVES! |
03-25-2002, 03:27 PM | #4 |
Hoplite Nomad
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 3,931
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the lumberjack song could be deadly in fangorn
I'm a lumberjack and i'm ok.... smash as treebread stumps him
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
03-25-2002, 05:17 PM | #5 |
'Sober' Mullet Frosh
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Queen's
Posts: 1,245
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Heh heh
I just imagine all the elf-smiths of Eregion singing "Every Ring is special, every ring is great. When a Ring gets wasted Sauron gets quite irate"
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"Earnur was a man like his father in valour, but not in wisdom" |
03-25-2002, 05:35 PM | #6 | |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Minas Morgul
Posts: 400
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Have you guys seen this? Its from www.tolkientrail.com
Quote:
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Morauko Umrien, Queen of the Nazgûl and Lady of Mordor Mistress of the Night The Nazgûl Queen she was, the Ringwraith, the enemy's most terrible servant; darkness went with her and she cried with the voices of death. Can be found loitering at Fantasy Essentials or her livejournal... |
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03-25-2002, 06:18 PM | #7 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Pinnath Gelin, formerly in Angaron...
Posts: 228
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That is awesome!!
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O mor henion i dhu Ely siriar, el sila Ai! Aniron.... Tiro! El eria e mor I 'lir en el luitha 'uren Ai! Aniron... FRODO LIVES! |
03-26-2002, 01:25 AM | #8 |
Sapling
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7
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Rohirrim:
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Aragorn: Who are you? Eomer: We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'! Rohirrim: Ni! Aragorn: No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'! Eomer: The same! Gimli: Who are they? Eomer: We are the keepers of the sacred words: 'Ni', 'Peng', and 'Neee-wom'! Rohirrim: Neee-wom! Aragorn: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale. Aragorn: Well, what is it you want? Eomer: We want... A SHRUBBERY! |
03-26-2002, 04:49 PM | #9 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Earth
Posts: 495
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The companie slowly enter Moria...
Interlude The companie exit the other side of the montain and Gadalf is no longer with them.
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Thinking before acting is alway's a good idea. |
03-28-2002, 04:05 PM | #10 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Lothlorien (actually Wales, but let's not talk about that)
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Big Army - Who approatheth the Bridge of Death must answer us these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
Sauron - Ask me the questions big army, I am not afraid. Big Army - What is your name? Sauron - Sauron of Mordor. Big Army - What is your quest? Sauron - I seek the One Ring. Big Army - What is your favourite colour? Sauron - Red. Big Army - Right, off you go.
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'So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you can decide is what to do with the time that is given to you,' - Gandalf the Grey 'I left my body to science, but I'm afraid they've turned it down' - In memory of Graham Chapman 'Rubin sits like Buddah in a 10 foot cell, An innocent man in a living hell,' - From 'Hurricane' by Bob Dylan, the only innocent Hurricane protest song, written stressing the innocence of Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter, a black, middle-weight boxer imprisoned for 19 for a triple murder which he did not commit. |
03-28-2002, 04:19 PM | #11 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Lothlorien (actually Wales, but let's not talk about that)
Posts: 117
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Witch-King - That's easy!
Big Army - Stop! Who approatheth the Bridge of Death must anwer us these question three, 'ere the other side he see. Witch-King - Ask me the questions Big Army, I'm not afraid. Big Army - What is your name? Witch-King - The Witch-King of Angmar Big Army - What is your quest? Witch-King - I seek the One Ring Big Army - What is the capital of Assyria? Witch-King - I don't know that! Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhh!
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'So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you can decide is what to do with the time that is given to you,' - Gandalf the Grey 'I left my body to science, but I'm afraid they've turned it down' - In memory of Graham Chapman 'Rubin sits like Buddah in a 10 foot cell, An innocent man in a living hell,' - From 'Hurricane' by Bob Dylan, the only innocent Hurricane protest song, written stressing the innocence of Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter, a black, middle-weight boxer imprisoned for 19 for a triple murder which he did not commit. |
03-28-2002, 04:24 PM | #12 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Lothlorien (actually Wales, but let's not talk about that)
Posts: 117
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Gandalf - Who approacheth the Bridge of Khazad-Dum must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
Balrog - Ask me the questions, Gandalf, I am not afraid Gandalf - What is your name? Balrog - the Balrog of Moria Gandalf - What is your quest? Balrog - To eat you Gandalf - What is the air speed velocity of an unladened swallow? Balrog - What do you mean? An African or a European swallow? Gandalf - I don't know that! Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh! Orc - How do you know so much about swallows? Balrog - You have to know these things when you're a demon you know.
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'So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you can decide is what to do with the time that is given to you,' - Gandalf the Grey 'I left my body to science, but I'm afraid they've turned it down' - In memory of Graham Chapman 'Rubin sits like Buddah in a 10 foot cell, An innocent man in a living hell,' - From 'Hurricane' by Bob Dylan, the only innocent Hurricane protest song, written stressing the innocence of Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter, a black, middle-weight boxer imprisoned for 19 for a triple murder which he did not commit. |
04-04-2002, 04:24 PM | #13 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 146
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If you wish to read a very humourous thing which is too long to right here about a cross between Monty Python and LOTR send an e-mail to rbc_uk@msn.com trust me its funny!!
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"A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent." |