Manners on the internet

[Sister Golden Hair]

How do you feel about manners on the internet? Do you think when you are in an instant message with someone, that it is rude for them to just leave and not say goodbye?

This is my biggest complaint. Also I have a problem with people that instant message asking a question and you answer and then they just never talk again. what's that about? I have that problem with some people from this board in IMs, but I won't mention any names. Do you know such people, and what has been your internet experiences?

[hectorberlioz]

I can usually understand someone not saying goodbye in an IM. they could have been kicked off, or were to busy doing something else that required their immediate attention.
I can understand, because same things happen to me.

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by hectorberlioz
I can usually understand someone not saying goodbye in an IM. they could have been kicked off, or were to busy doing something else that required their immediate attention.
I can understand, because same things happen to me.

Usually though, when one gets kicked off, they come right back and say they got kicked. I just can't see being to busy to say bye if I'm going to get off line, or end an IM. I mean it only takes a second.

[Elvengirl]

I've had the same exerience with rude people. I can't stand it. I don't even go on instant messaging anymore, because only a couple of times I've actually had a decent conversation, the rest were just rude, perverted, people.

[Sister Golden Hair]

Well, the people I talk to aren't wierd or perverted, and not all are rude, just a couple of them, but it is so annoying.

[HOBBIT]

well, sometimes i find that rude, but only in some circumstances.

If you have been talking to someone and within 5-10 min of talking to them, you have to go THEN you really should say goodbye.

It annoys me to no end when I was just talking to someone and a second later they sign off to go to bed - I mean how RUDE!

But its not really rude if you don't say goodbye after not talking to them for 20+ minutes.

I always say goodbye when I'm recently talking to someone, but only sometimes if its like 30 minutes after the conversation is over and I have to go.

You have to remember that AIM is NOT real life. Different rules apply to it. Aside from things being obviously rude, others are not. Leaving for a long period of time is understandable and you can't always say brb or afk. You can't be expected to stay at your comp all night and talk to one person.

Talking on aim is NOT like a REAL CONVERSATION. You can't really talk continuously on aim like in real life. When you are done talking in real life you say bye and walk away. You can't really walk away on aim - the conversation just ends for a while.

Hard to explain, but you should get it. After you are done talking - the person is still online. You can't really say "alright, im done talking to you, go away please"

[Insidious Rex]

Originally posted by HOBBIT
You have to remember that AIM is NOT real life. Different rules apply to it. Aside from things being obviously rude, others are not. Leaving for a long period of time is understandable and you can't always say brb or afk.

exactly. its a whole different medium of communication. just like talking on the phone is different from talking in person. dont get all worked up because they dont follow the same rules as you do in person. they dont really apply. now as far as people from the board just messaging you and asking you a question then not talking to you after you answer well that might have something to do with the fact you appear as an authority figure and they dont want to bug you more then they need to. especially if they come whining to you about technical problems with the moot. they probably figure you have better things to do with your time. it doesnt occur to them to chew the fat. which is too bad. one of the things i enjoy about talking to moot people off the moot is you get a MUCH better picture of who they are and what their pesonality is really like that is limited by just reading their posts here. interaction is always better.

[Dúnedain]

SGH just misses me that's all

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by Dúnedain
SGH just misses me that's all

Have I told you lately that you're crazy?

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by HOBBIT


You have to remember that AIM is NOT real life. Different rules apply to it. Aside from things being obviously rude, others are not. Leaving for a long period of time is understandable and you can't always say brb or afk. You can't be expected to stay at your comp all night and talk to one person.

Why can't you say brb or afk? My god, how long can it take to type three letters? Who said anything about staying at the computer all night talking to one person? I'm talking about having a conversation with someone and if they have to go do something, the polite thing is to say brb, or afk, or might take a few. As for saying goodbye, I don't care if it has been a 10 minute conversation, and then a 20 minute pause and no conversation, saying goodbye when you sign off isn't so hard, and it's the polite thing to do.

Talking on aim is NOT like a REAL CONVERSATION. You can't really talk continuously on aim like in real life. When you are done talking in real life you say bye and walk away. You can't really walk away on aim - the conversation just ends for a while.

That is no excuse. The fact that it isn't in person does not mean it's okay to be rude. Why do some people feel it is so hard or too much work to be polite. RL or not?

Hard to explain, but you should get it. After you are done talking - the person is still online. You can't really say "alright, im done talking to you, go away please"

No, you shouldn't say that, that is rude. But you can say something to end the discussion politely. "I'm going to bed now" I am going to surf the web for awhile, so talk to ya later" There are a multitude of nice ways to end it.

[Linaewen]

Originally posted by Sister Golden Hair
How do you feel about manners on the internet? Do you think when you are in an instant message with someone, that it is rude for them to just leave and not say goodbye?

Sometimes, but it really depends on who you're talking to. Most often I chat with people I know really well; we understand that another person may be busy doing something else and we won't take things like this personally. Sometimes I get disconnected, and don't bother to reconnect (because I realise that I've already been online for too long!), and my friends don't care at all.

I know that once in a while I may be trying to do too many things at once (posting, emailing, PMing, downloading, reading), and I forget to change my MSN status to busy. [I think you Americans use AIM like we use Messenger, btw. Noone uses ICQ or AIM here much]. Consequently I get friends flooding the chat page with 'Leeeeeee! Leeeeeee, where are you?!'.

The main thing is, if you're good enough friends with them; it shouldn't matter. My friends don't take it personal, like I don't.

[Beor]

Yeah, I'm pretty new to all this computer stuff anyway, but me and my wife get on the Yahoo! instant messenger sometimes, and lots of times I have to go or the entire building loses power, thus screwing me over, but my wife understands, I cant always say good-bye.

[Hemel]

Well, I suppose I'm a great believer in manners as far as possible, for lots of reasons ... like it makes the other person feel better, for a start

So when I'm on IM if I have to go I ALWAYS say that I have to go, and say goodbye (only takes a couple of secs), and if someone's helped I always at least say 'thanks'.

Yes, there have been times when communications have stopped suddenly, but that's always been because one of us has been booted off, and in my experience one or the other will try to come back in some way to say what had happened - even if it means the message only comes through as an offline some time later.

But I have found rude people around. Yes, it's not very nice - but I tend to think it's a reflection more on them ......

[Sister Golden Hair]

Yeah, I know there are valid reasons not to say goodbye. I have had some bad connection problems where I get booted and the modem is down and I can't get back on until it comes back up. When I do get back on, if the people that I was speaking to are still on, then I explain to them what happened.

Some people just have a rudeness about them though and do the same thing all the time. Certian people that I have spoke to frequently that slam the door shut, while I am in the middle of typing to them. That is the kind of rudeness I am talking about.

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Sister Golden Hair
Some people just have a rudeness about them though and do the same thing all the time. Certian people that I have spoke to frequently that slam the door shut, while I am in the middle of typing to them. That is the kind of rudeness I am talking about.

That's just rude.
You should kindly remind them that it upsets you when they do that.

[Eowyn, Lady of Rohan]

I don't use IM so I don't know what's that like but I can imagine it's pretty awful. I don't like it when I ask people questions and they don't answer them.

[Anglorfin]

I usually only open up a chat program because I am at my computer for something else anyway. It is very rare that I will start using my computer specifically for chatting. So I can understand people who can forget a conversation exists pretty much.

[jellyfishannah]

I agree with SGH. It is rude to sign off without saying 'bye. I actually have never really talked to anyone on IM that did that to me.
When I stop a conversation with people, usually we both say goodbye five or six times! ( Due to me having to say one last witty remark. )

[Eowyn, Lady of Rohan]

Yeah, I don't use IM. Nice av, BTW.