11-13-2006, 12:29 AM | #1 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 148
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*Laughing*
This is very funny (Thinks of what an idiot made it) He seems to think orcs were stolen from WORLD OF WARCRAFT the video game... and that its just a movie... and tolkien wrote a novelisation! http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html
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11-13-2006, 01:21 AM | #2 | |
Alasailon
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: college
Posts: 861
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Obviously a joke. But some points were funny. I especially liked the casting recommendation for Gandalf as being played by Bruce Campbell. And my personal favorite is under "Magic Mechanics" . . .
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"and then this hobbit was walking, and then this elf jumped out of a bush and totally flipped out on him while wailing on his guitar." "Anglorfin was tall and straight; his hair was of shining gold, his face fair and young and fearless and full of anger; his eyes were bright and keen, and his voice like music; on his brow sat wisdom, and in his hand was great skill." |
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11-13-2006, 07:52 PM | #3 | |
Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: College!
Posts: 1,976
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Yes, that one about the wizards was funny. And I found this one to be fairly hilarious also...
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Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan) |
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11-13-2006, 09:34 PM | #4 | ||
Master of Orchestration President Emeritus of Entmoot 2004-2008
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lost in the Opera House
Posts: 9,328
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This nearly killed me
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or this... Quote:
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ACALEWIA- President of Entmoot hectorberlioz- Vice President of Entmoot Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life! Join the discussion at Entmoot Election 2010. "Stupidissimo!"~Toscanini The Da CINDY Code The Epic Poem Of The Balrog of Entmoot: Here ~NEW! ~ Thinking of summer vacation? AboutNewJersey.com - NJ Travel & Tourism Guide Last edited by hectorberlioz : 11-13-2006 at 09:37 PM. |
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11-13-2006, 11:50 PM | #5 | |
Fenway Ranger, Lord of Red Sox Nation
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: College!
Posts: 1,976
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Adventure...betrayal...heroism... Atharon: where heroes are born. My wife once said to me—when I'd been writing for ten or fifteen years—that I could always go back to being a nuclear engineer. And I said to her, 'Harriet, would you let someone who quit his job to go write fantasy anywhere near your nuclear reactor? I wouldn't!' (Robert Jordan) |
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11-14-2006, 12:48 PM | #6 | |
Lady of Letters
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Either Oxford or Kent, England
Posts: 2,476
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I liked this one:
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And all the time the waves, the waves, the waves Chase, intersect and flatten on the sand As they have done for centuries, as they will For centuries to come, when not a soul Is left to picnic on the blazing rocks, When England is not England, when mankind Has blown himself to pieces. Still the sea, Consolingly disastrous, will return While the strange starfish, hugely magnified, Waits in the jewelled basin of a pool. |
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11-14-2006, 03:41 PM | #7 |
The Black Númenórean
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 6,773
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Obviously a joke. I mean, it had huge red letters at the end declaring it a parody..
hector, that was the funniest piece in the whole damn thing to me.
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Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. Last edited by The last sane person : 11-14-2006 at 03:49 PM. |
11-14-2006, 06:54 PM | #8 | |
Ring-smith
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Either walking across Rohan or riding through Fangorn forest
Posts: 2,000
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He almost has a point with the limitless arrows thing, in the books Legolas endlessly is looking for arrows for his bow... After every battle... It's almost funny...
But the rest was cometic! I hope he doesn't realy think this stuff...
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Thread killer Ring smith Merry Christmas! They'd never say that (Part 2) What happened to the dragon? |
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11-18-2006, 02:34 AM | #9 |
Entmoot Secretary of the Treasury
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Campsite-by-Giraffe
Posts: 5,408
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You know, I'm going to read that soon. It's funny just reading your comments, though.
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11-18-2006, 06:10 PM | #10 |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA
Posts: 10,820
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Does anyone remember when this came up a few years back?
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09-23-2007, 06:34 PM | #11 |
Kraken King
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Under the sea
Posts: 2,714
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I almost made a mess in my chair reading that. it was stupid, but funny is at least 4 parts dumb.
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One of my top ten favorite movies. "You ever try to flick a fly? "No." "It's a waste of time." "Can you see it?" "No." "It's right there!" "Where? "There!" "What is it?" "A crab." "A crab? I dont see any crab." "How?! It's right there!!" "Where?" "There!!!!" "Oh." -Excerpts from A Tale of Two Morons |
10-01-2007, 06:11 PM | #12 | |
Captain Jack
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: High Charity
Posts: 598
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haha awesome
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Captain Jack Sparrow: When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I’m Captain Jack Sparrow. Cortana: So have you got a plan to get out? Master Chief: I was gonna shoot my way out. Mix things up a little. |
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10-02-2007, 03:15 AM | #13 | ||||||||||
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Somewhere not of this world
Posts: 402
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Oy vey...
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Of course, one of the Orc warriors could have been wearing an "I'm with stupid" shirt with an arrow on the shirt pointing up. The world may never know. Quote:
Imagine the scene at the Battle of Pelennor Fields: Theoden: "Okay, I cast impending shout, and the Mumakil get spooked and go in the other direction." Aragorn: "I have 9,999 action points, so I cast Army of the Dead spell. It doesn't kill your guys, but it clears their action points and puts them back to 0, so they can't make any additional moves." Legolas: "Um...let's see. Well while you're busy with that, I cast arrow vollie on a Mumak. It doesn't kill him, but it makes him feel like he got shot in the back of the head by three arrows, so he kinda just lays down and plays dead." Gimli: "I cast comic relief." * Gimli casts comic relief. * Gimli: "That still only counts as one!" Theoden: "Oh lookie, I'm dead!" * Plays dead, Eowyn acts all emo. * * Army of the Dead calls Aragorn a n00b for not allowing them to leave the server - it's their bed time. * Aragorn: "I hold your oath fulfilled, etc etc, now go!" * Army of the Dead has left the server. * Gandalf: "Hey, let's get an Eagle and give him the ring and drop it in Mount Doom, thus skipping that 'Frodo needs a hug and battle against impossible odds' scene!" Gimli: "Legolas, I want a rematch! Drinking game, round 2!" Legolas: "Peachy keen!" Quote:
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* Legolas logged in on server * > godmode1 > God mode activated > tolkienclip > Infinite ammo mode activated * Legolas is in the range of the Helm's Deep explosive mine. Damage done: 0 HP. * * Legolas kills 30 more Uruk-Hai and doesn't even notice the rest of the Elves dying around him. * Quote:
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Frodo: "The Elves have accorded you a special honor, Bilbo, a place on the last ship to leave Middle Earth." Bilbo: "Frodo....will there be racing there? Also, I'm not going if they have a speed limit." Frodo: "O RLY?" |
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10-05-2007, 09:16 PM | #14 | |
The Insufferable
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 3,333
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As old as this is, the one thing that never fails to amuse me is a sentiment which I remember hearing in a couple of different reviews and agreeing with myself.
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10-07-2007, 02:17 AM | #15 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Somewhere not of this world
Posts: 402
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To be honest, the movies weren't what I expected. The plot generally moved along well when it came to the big picture of things, but the inaccuracies were just too much at times. Denethor wasn't a coward like the movie made him look. He didn't tell everyone to flee for their lives at any time. The only big problem he had is that he was kind of emo after his wife died (understandably) and then even more so after Boromir died. When Faramir was wounded he assumed he'd die so he just figured he'd end it all by burning the two alive. The book version of Lord of the Rings basically made the connections well between the plots. Aragorn was the one who advised Ecthelion, as a sort of half-brother to Denethor. LoL. Gandalf gave Ecthelion trust in Aragorn, but Denethor was kind of resentful of Gandalf and basically anyone who "was a wizard's pupil".
For some reason I always took Faramir as the scholarly type - and Boromir as the star football player. The brothers got along but Denethor always liked Boromir more. There's a book called "Rocket Boys" which was renamed "October Sky" which coincidentally is a re-arrangement of the letters in "Rocket Boys". It's about almost the same kind of issue. The author of the book is Homer Hickam. His father approved of his brother over him and was definitely a lot like Denethor. Homer became the scholarly type and his brother was the football star. His father wanted Homer to work in the mines like he did, but Homer had other plans and this upset his father a lot. Sort of how Faramir's practical and strategic logic (which sometimes required retreat or re-positioning of the troops of Gondor) upset Denethor. Anyway I went on a ramble completely unrelated to the topic at hand (though it is pseudo-related because it started on the common rant about the movies having less than 70% accuracy). I heard one time that in the Black Gate scene that one of the soldiers of Gondor wasn't in character in the background and had a South Park shirt on instead of his armor and stuff. I never saw that so that claim was a complete hoax. One claim that I haven't been able to support is that Gollum is standing on top of one of the statues at the Argonath in FotR. It's supposed to be right when the birds fly off of the statue. |