04-21-2003, 07:31 PM | #1 |
Enting
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: new jersey
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Some Poems
Journies and Scenary
As you wander down the twisting Road Of life, Choose your paths wisely; But do not rush along, For while the Destination is important, What you See on the journey There Affects what you do When you Arrive. Untitled # 1 Sometimes I wonder whether life Is really worth the pain and strife That I go through when I'm at school Or try to act and dress cool As I ponder this I ask,"Why?" Was I put here to succeed...or try? Human race (the) We are all slaves to humanity. Our schedule is our ball and chain The clock is the whip against our backs And our overseer is money. The sad thing Is that we all form Each others walls. Silver Beauty Flashes in the light Blinding in its lovliness Deadly beauty Comrad at my back With his sharp edge Friend/Foe - Depends on which end Your standing boreal, Singlestroke,Lightning, Glamdring - Sword. |
04-21-2003, 07:35 PM | #2 |
Elven Warrior
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Oooh oooh! Can I post my ballad? I love my ballad.
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04-21-2003, 08:26 PM | #3 |
Fowl Administrator
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elvendrummer: Not to nitpick, but spelling is pretty important, and errors could distract the reader... "Journeys and Scenery".
I like the third one (The Human Race) - short and to the point, and a profound point at that.
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04-22-2003, 08:16 AM | #4 |
The Elvish Temptress
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I really like your poems.
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04-22-2003, 03:15 PM | #5 |
Elven Warrior
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In " The Human Race " when you say "money", to make it a little more descriptive, you could make it " the cold hard cash in my hand", just a bit of cunstructive critisism!
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04-22-2003, 06:14 PM | #6 | |
Enting
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Quote:
and the typo was the fault of speed-typing. i was sorta in a hurry. |
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04-23-2003, 03:09 PM | #7 |
Elven Warrior
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Elvendrummer, what about that poem in your sig? What's that called?
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04-23-2003, 03:13 PM | #8 |
The Elvish Temptress
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You're pretty talented. I just saw that you are actually younger than I am. Go on.
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04-23-2003, 06:15 PM | #9 | |
Enting
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Quote:
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04-23-2003, 06:17 PM | #10 | |
Enting
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: new jersey
Posts: 80
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Quote:
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04-24-2003, 01:55 PM | #11 | |
The Elvish Temptress
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Quote:
It makes no sense posting my German poems. BTW, I find my emotions often in other peoples lyrics and poems. Better than I could ever express them. That's strange.
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04-25-2003, 09:29 PM | #12 |
The Negative Soul of Entmoot
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I'm self-conscious about my poetry, but I suppose if I want feedback I ought to post some. So here goes. Anyone laughing will be ground into the dust head first.
Remembrance Think of me When you walk beside the waters of the deep blue sea Think of me When you walk upon the shore of the shifting sand Remember me When you walk into the shadow of an ancient tree Remember me When you ride out on a journey in a distant land I will think of you When I walk onto the grass beaded with morning due I will think of you When I look over the landscapes that you passed on by I will remember you When I greet alone the darkness and the night anew I will remember you Though you see a new horizon and a different sky ******** Yep, I'm a romantic. Not love kind of romance, just all that crap about nature and peace and silence and bravery and...you get it. I've never written a single poem about the modern world. I prefer to write soppy nature sonnets.
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W00T for the M00T!! War doesn't determine who is right - war determines who is left. Last edited by Elenka : 04-25-2003 at 09:31 PM. |
04-25-2003, 10:40 PM | #13 | |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
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Ooo...that is nice. Nice indeed.
I posted a separate topic for a few of my poems, but evidently the mods don't think they're worth it. Quote:
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04-26-2003, 05:49 AM | #14 |
The Elvish Temptress
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I like it Elenka. Don't be self-concious.
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04-26-2003, 07:51 AM | #15 |
The Negative Soul of Entmoot
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Yay!! I got positive feedback!!
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04-26-2003, 08:16 AM | #16 | |
The Elvish Temptress
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Quote:
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04-26-2003, 09:22 AM | #17 |
Fair Dinkum
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Great work, Elenka and CENSORED.
Beautiful. |
04-26-2003, 05:15 PM | #18 |
Fowl Administrator
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I don't consider myself a poet by any standard (it's not really my medium of choice), but here's something I put together a week ago:
The Composer At Work Note. Note. Note. Note. Notenotenotenotenote. Chord. Chord, chord, chord. Push, pull, resolve, six, two, five, one Dominant, tonic, cadence. Me-lo-dy, notenote. Me-lo-dee-dum-dee-dum, notenote. Chord, melody chord, melody chord Dominant, tonic, cadence. Rest. Tonic.
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04-26-2003, 05:25 PM | #19 |
Entmoot Attorney-General,
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Wow. That was a nice poem, IronParrot
You should either be a poet or a composer.
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04-27-2003, 06:02 AM | #20 |
The Elvish Temptress
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Really poetic, IronParrot.
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