12-01-2003, 12:45 AM | #1 |
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Age differences in dating
What are your general thoughts here?
Do your perceptions changes with the sexes involved?
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
12-01-2003, 02:06 PM | #2 |
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I think that it depends. What ages are we talking about? IMO, if it's an adult over the age of 18 yrs and out of their parent's house they can date whomever they please. I think that if the two people have a lot in common, then they'll get along, regardless of age.
However, I think this goes both ways. I don't think that it makes a difference if it's the woman or the man that is older. My opinion only goes for two people who are attracted to each and have things in common, not to gold diggers looking for a fast buck. And not old farts looking for young tarts as trophy wives. Just wanted to clarify that. Last edited by Ruinel : 12-01-2003 at 02:59 PM. |
12-01-2003, 02:43 PM | #3 |
Fëanáro's Fire Mistress
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well personally I would never date a younger man! knowledge is power man! my husband is only 2 years older than me.
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12-01-2003, 09:03 PM | #4 |
Retired Ent
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I think that even before adulthood, age differences aren't too problematic.
My girlfriend is 15 and I'll be 18 this month, but we have a lot in common. Obviously in high school even small age differences tend to be more pronounced, but so far everything is great.
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12-01-2003, 09:20 PM | #5 |
Quasi Evil
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all you need is love. culture is the Great Oppressor. thats all Im gonna say about it.
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12-01-2003, 09:25 PM | #6 |
High King of Númenórë
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The way I see it is that once you reach the "college age" 18, then everything is fine. It's weird how like in High School if you date someone that is 4 years younger than you, it's weird, but if you do that in college, say someone 22 and someone 18, then it's ok. Personally, I've dated women that were almost 4 years younger than me (in college that is ), but I've also dated older women as well. Last year when I was 24, I was dating a 31 year old woman for a few months...
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12-01-2003, 10:09 PM | #7 |
the greg the admin
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Wow Ben, way to post!
Anyway, what does one have to say about a senior in high school with two freshmen admirers? One of my friends told to use the situation to finally get some action. |
12-01-2003, 11:06 PM | #8 | |
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How mature are your admirers Greg? I had one who was borderline psycho and fortunately for me, as usually happens with that type, she moved on. Actually, to be honest, I think there's a 7th grader in my high school band who "admires" me.
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12-01-2003, 11:27 PM | #9 |
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I think it depends, personally, I wouldn't want to date someone more than two years older than me, and definitely not someone more than two years younger. But If other people feel differently that's their choice, not mine. One of my distant cousins married someone older than her own father and is apparently fine with it. Though, that example is a little extreme, there was a 30 year age difference between them and her husband was 90 at the time they were married.
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12-01-2003, 11:38 PM | #10 |
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dont go out with a froshie as a senior
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12-02-2003, 12:09 PM | #11 | |
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AFAIR, the bigest age gap I had was I was 21 and she was 16- that felt a little weird, especially as I could go into bars and she couldn't- high school dances and all. We went to a friend's house across the border in the States for a weekend- she had to get a note from her Mom!- and the way the Customs guy looked at me, I certainly felt like a perv. As a teacher, I've had high school girls come on to me- I've never been silly enough to see if it went past the point of flirtation- though the temptation...I think a sense of dignity helps.
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12-02-2003, 02:01 PM | #12 | |
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I'm glad to hear you haven't reciprocated the flirtation or gone past that. Especially since you are a teacher. eeewwww |
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12-02-2003, 07:46 PM | #13 |
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I "dated" someone who was a lot youner than I was.
I mistook physical and mental maturity for emotional maturity. I have dated older women to. I blew a great relation due to my immaturity. Now, as being in my mid-30's I think the dating scene for me will be a lot easier because I am more aware of myself .
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. Last edited by afro-elf : 12-02-2003 at 07:54 PM. |
12-02-2003, 07:49 PM | #14 |
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Sorrydeleted post
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. Last edited by afro-elf : 12-02-2003 at 07:55 PM. |
12-02-2003, 08:14 PM | #15 |
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Originally posted by Ebony at Sf Fandom
I think it's wise that people be in the same 'place' in their lives. For example, if someone has grown children and gets involved with someone who has not yet begun a family, it could be just asking for trouble. I believe that when you have a relationship with someone, you should try to bring as few obstacles with you as possible. People should have as much in common as they can. I think this also applies to different cultures, religions, and values, and I speak particularly when entering a marriage. I believe that couples have a hard enough time getting over the differences they have without throwing extra ones into the pot. When people are young they think love will overcome all. But it doesn't. It gets stale, and the man that used to set your blood boiling just by looking your way suddenly can seem like an obnoxious pain in the tushy, or at the very least, you find you're suddenly living with your brother. So you and your 'brother' had best have as much in common as possible. JHMO. Interesting post. Though I do know a few people who have not succombed to quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It gets stale, and the man that used to set your blood boiling just by looking your way suddenly can seem like an obnoxious pain in the tushy, or at the very least, you find you're suddenly living with your brother. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maybe it is because they have followed the the advice in the former part her post. __________________
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
12-03-2003, 05:05 PM | #16 |
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Ages
Well said Afro-Elf. Common ground is important, and sustained intimacy is needed as well to keep the relationship from becoming 'stale' and living with your brother/sister.
I dated and married a 20 year old woman when I was 20. She was 18 days younger than me. It ended in disaster though a great son came of it. I then dated and married a 26 year old woman when I was 32, and it has been good though communication and intimacy has been declining over the years.
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12-03-2003, 07:27 PM | #17 |
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Thanks for the insight Snowdog.
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About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. |
12-03-2003, 11:12 PM | #18 |
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Don't be so judgemental about peoples' ages, it's not the end of the world or anything (see Snowdog after all). I think most people want someone younger, and if it all goes a bit quiet after a while, well, I think most people would say that this happens. Some people would see age difference as an obstacle, but then are they really seeing past the surface?
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12-04-2003, 12:00 AM | #19 |
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Age difference doesn't matter after you are an adult because you are both (supposedly) mature , CERTAINLY more mature than high school students.
And you all have a high school level education and after college, a college education. So there isnt that smarter because older and learned more factor AS MUCH as in Middle and High School. There is a bigger difference between grades than you would think besides about a year (give or take several months) in age difference. There is also a HUGE difference in maturity - emotional mostly. Middle School relationships are different than high school relationships. Freshmen girls have the mentality of a middle schooler. Freshmen are DEFINITELY less mature in many areas and less knowledgeable than upper classmen - sophomores to some degree too. Hope you understand that
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12-04-2003, 01:19 AM | #20 |
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I find it interesting that younger women dating older men is generally accepted up to a point (not like Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall III -- eww). However, younger men going after older women is generally frowned upon (see Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore). At least, that's my general observation -- it's better for a woman to date an older man than for a man to date an older woman. I'm not talking about age differences of 1, 2, or even 5 or 6 years. I mean like 10+ year age differences.
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