A Chicken fined for crossing the road

Lefty Scaevola · 06-03-2005, 11:25 AM

but reversed and aquitted on appeal.
in California, of course
I kid you not

Meriadoc Brandybuck · 06-03-2005, 12:39 PM

Only in California.

My question is: why was the owner fined £30 when this is America, not England? Is it a British site or something?

***HOBBIT*** · 06-03-2005, 03:38 PM

yeah, its parent company - orange - is a british company.

Lefty Scaevola · 06-04-2005, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meriadoc Brandybuck

Only in California.

My question is: why was the owner fined £30 when this is America, not England? Is it a British site or something?

I located the story at a British news site.

Last Child of Ungoliant · 06-09-2005, 06:21 PM

let me guess, the chicken is now suing the police for harassment?

you wont get that in merrie olde england

***Tessar*** · 06-09-2005, 07:15 PM

Sexual harrassment, most likely.

Who's to say the chicken wasn't running away from her attacker!?

I say that chick (*snerk*) should sue the govenment for every penny it's worth.

Butterbeer · 11-28-2005, 04:47 PM

she'd only get a poultry amount ....

The last sane person · 11-28-2005, 04:57 PM

Oh, stop with the fowl puns! *snerk* *Dammit!* Well, it's lucky Ophelia wasnt turned into Kentucky Fried Ophelia.

Elanor · 11-28-2005, 06:34 PM

Who keeps a chicken as a pet? Aren't they very messy and smelly? I guess it would be handy for eggs.

**Nurvingiel** · 11-28-2005, 07:49 PM

I know people who keep chickens as pets. Individual chickens aren't really that messy, but chicken coops tend to get very dusty and full of feathers.

I'd keep a chicken for a pet. But I wouldn't let my chickens J-walk!

Elanor · 11-28-2005, 07:59 PM

Well, it certainly makes a good headline.

On a related note, why did the Chicken cross the Road?

Boromir: To defend Gondor against its enemies
Gandalf: I thought I told everyone to stay off the Road.
Sam: Look, Mr. Frodo! The roast chicken we've been waiting for!
Legolas: It has heard the Sea, and will now be ever restless.
Pippin: Did someone say chicken?
Galadriel: It passes the test. It will diminish, and cross the road and remain a chicken.
Eowyn: It doesn't want to stay in a cage behind bars any more until all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.
Boromir: It's a strange thing that we suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a chicken . . . such a little thing."
Smeagol: What's chicken precious? What's chicken, eh?
Gollum:: Because it doesn't have any friends. Nobody likes chicken.
Gandalf: The chicken is never late, nor is it early. It crosses the road precisely when it means to.
Bilbo: It needed a holiday, a very long holiday, and didn't expect to return. In fact, it meant not to.
Sam: If the chicken takes one more step, it'll be the farthest from home it's ever been.
Gamling: It leaves because there is no hope.
Theoden: It leaves because it must.
Faramir: Is this what you wish? That I had crossed the road and the chicken had not?
Frodo: There was no other way.
Orcs: Chicken? Why can't we have some chicken? We've had nothing but maggoty bread for three stinking days!
Merry: All the other chickens have crossed. It would be ashamed to be left behind.
Eowyn: Why can it not cross for those it loves?
Frodo: I will take the chicken, though I do not know the way.
Denethor: Bring wood and olive oil. We're having roast chicken.

Lotesse · 11-28-2005, 08:02 PM

LOL!!

Great ones, Elanor! Did you think of these yourself? Hilarious!

Elanor · 11-28-2005, 08:07 PM

Certainly not. The link I found

Here are some more:

Aragorn: Every day, the chicken moves closer to Mordor.
Treebeard: Don't be hasty, young chicken!
Faramir: To show his quality.
Grima: A just question, my lord.
Legolas: I have not the heart to tell you; for me the grief is still too near.

Elanor · 11-28-2005, 08:47 PM

This is really terrible. I can’t stop. I have to keep posting more of these...

Arwen: Because there is no ship now that will carry him hence.
Denethor: Chicken! Abandon your post and flee for your life!
Gandalf: Because he was a Fool of a Chicken!
Galadriel: Even the wisest cannot tell; for a chicken does many things.
Gollum: It came to me, my precious, my chicken
Gimli: Nobody tosses a chicken!
Gandalf: Fly, you fool chicken!
Saruman: He comes to Isengard seeking My Counsel.
Celeborn: Tell me, where is the chicken, for I greatly desire to speak with him.
Galadriel: He has fallen into Shadow...
Gandalf: The chicken crossed the road? Then he has indeed left the path of wisdom.
Pippin: Because we need someone with intelligence on this mission... quest... thing.
Elrond: He may find friends upon his way when he least looks for it.
Gandalf: Because he was meant to cross the road. And so you also were meant to cross it. And that is an encouraging thought.
Elrond: He is dying- the chicken is dying. His life-force is tied to the road.
Gimli: A chicken will cross the road and a dwarf dare not?
Denethor: Chicken! Abandon your post and flee for your life!
Elrond: I looked into the chicken's future and I saw death.
Arwen: But there is also life. You saw there was a chicken! You saw my chicken!
Théoden: Because I told Gamling to make haste across the Riddermark and summon every able-bodied chicken to Dunharrow.
Frodo: What does it matter? It is gone and now all is dark and empty!
Legolas: The red dawn. Chicken Soup has been spilled this night.
Pippin: He was taking a shortcut
Sam: A shortcut to what?
Merry: MUSHROOMS!
Aragorn: It was a dream.
Arwen: Then it was an extra crispy dream.
Gollum: Musn't ask us. Not his business. Gollum! Gollum!
Grima: Late is the hour in which this chicken chooses to appear.
Saruman: Because clearly its love of the Halflings' weed has slowed its mind.
Elrond: This is its test...every path it has trod, through wilderness, through war...has led it to this road.
Gandalf: I've sent him to his death.
Celeborn: Seldom will they travel by day, yet this chicken has done so.
Galadriel: Do we let the chicken stand alone?
Gandalf: He must go by another road; he must look to the River, and the black fleet.
Theoden: Muster the chickens.
Eomer: Oaths he has taken, to lord and land!
Legolas: Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of chickens?
Eowyn: He had no warning. He was unarmed. And now the wildmen are moving through the chicken coop, burning as they go...

Butterbeer · 11-28-2005, 09:31 PM

hilarious!

*takes hat off to Elanor*

Elanor · 11-28-2005, 09:49 PM

Not mine-- I just collected the best ones I found on other sites.

Gandalf: There are many roads in this world, and none of them should be crossed lightly!
Gollum: Is the chicken nice, my preciousss? Is it juicy? Is it scrumptiously crunchable?
Elrond: Let him not vow to cross the road who has not seen the cars go by.
Gandalf: The dark fire will not avail you, chicken. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot cross.

Butterbeer · 11-28-2005, 09:52 PM

still, incredibly funny.

cheers!

The last sane person · 11-29-2005, 01:59 PM

Par exellance! *or however that is spelled* I like the first one

Boromir: To defend Gondor against its enemys.

Aragorn- It was a dream.
Arwen- Then it was an extra crispy dream.

I didn't know Arwen liked Kentucky Fried Chicken....

Elrond: I looked into the chicken's future and I saw death.
Arwen: But there is also life. You saw there was a chicken! You saw my chicken!

So worried over the fate of her pets...

Elanor · 11-29-2005, 08:05 PM

Yes, I'm afraid these are pretty funny. I like the Eowyn ones myself. Here are some I made up (not as funny):

Elrond: You have only one choice. The chicken must be destroyed. Cast it into the fire!
Boromir: One does not simply cross the road.... It is a barren wasteland riddled with fire, ash, and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand chickens could you do this. It is folly.
Galadriel: Even the smallest chicken can cross the road.
Gandalf: I think there's more to this chicken than meets the eye.
Pippin: Is he going to die?
Aragorn: He is crossing the Shadow Road. He'll soon become a chicken like them.
Bilbo: It's a dangerous business, chicken, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.
Gandalf: Chickens really are amazing creatures. You can learn all there is to know about them in a day, and yet after a hundred years they can still surprise you.
Galadriel: Because the time will soon come when chickens will shape the fortunes of all.
Gandalf: He was far too eager and curious for a chicken. Most unnatural.
Frodo: Why did he cross the road?
Aragorn: He was once a chicken... Now he is slave to Sauron's will... At all times he feels the presence of the Ring, drawn to the power of the One. He will never stop hunting you.

Elanor · 12-14-2005, 03:23 AM

Aragorn: What does your heart tell you?
Gandalf: That the chicken has crossed the road, yes. He has crossed. But why? We may never know.

06-03-2005, 11:25 AM	#1
Lefty Scaevola AngAdan Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Boerne, Texas Posts: 856	A Chicken fined for crossing the road but reversed and aquitted on appeal. in California, of course I kid you not __________________ Gaius Mucius Scaevola Older, richer, and wiser than you "Mighty are the Ainur, and mightiest among them is Melkor, but that he may know, and all the Ainur, that I am Iluvatar, those things that ye have sung, I will show them forth, ... And thou, Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me,"

06-03-2005, 12:39 PM	#2
Meriadoc Brandybuck Magnificent Master of Buckland Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Buckland, U.S.A. Posts: 1,138	Only in California. My question is: why was the owner fined £30 when this is America, not England? Is it a British site or something? __________________ But it is the way of my people to use light words at such times and say less than they mean. We fear to say to much. It robs us of the right words when a jest is out of place. -Meriadoc Brandybuck Is there anything I can do that wouldn't inconvenience me?.-Adrian Monk Hogan: What's a definate factor that we can count on? Newkirk: We don't know what we're doing. Do you wanna split a pineapple? -Shawn Spencer

06-03-2005, 03:38 PM	#3
*HOBBIT* Saviour of Entmoot Admiral Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: NC/NJ (no longer Same place as bmilder.) Posts: 61,986	yeah, its parent company - orange - is a british company. __________________ President Emeritus (2000-2004) Private message (or email) me if you need any assistance. I am here to help! "I'm up to here with cool, ok? I'm so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis" - Zaphod Beeblebrox Latest Blog Post: Just Quit Facebook? No One Cares!

11-28-2005, 04:57 PM	#8
The last sane person The Black Númenórean Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6,773	Oh, stop with the fowl puns! snerk Dammit! Well, it's lucky Ophelia wasnt turned into Kentucky Fried Ophelia. __________________ Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

11-28-2005, 06:34 PM	#9
Elanor Hobbit in the Music Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Westmarch Posts: 1,111	Who keeps a chicken as a pet? Aren't they very messy and smelly? I guess it would be handy for eggs. __________________ Middle Earth Crossword Puzzle on the Tolkien Site of DOOM Segovia Mazes

06-09-2005, 06:21 PM	#5
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	let me guess, the chicken is now suing the police for harassment? you wont get that in merrie olde england

06-09-2005, 07:15 PM	#6
*Tessar* Master and Wielder of the Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ Posts: 6,433	Sexual harrassment, most likely. Who's to say the chicken wasn't running away from her attacker!? I say that chick (snerk) should sue the govenment for every penny it's worth.

11-28-2005, 04:47 PM	#7
Butterbeer Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: here and there Posts: 3,514	she'd only get a poultry amount ....

11-28-2005, 07:59 PM	#11
Elanor Hobbit in the Music Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Westmarch Posts: 1,111	Well, it certainly makes a good headline. On a related note, why did the Chicken cross the Road? Boromir: To defend Gondor against its enemies Gandalf: I thought I told everyone to stay off the Road. Sam: Look, Mr. Frodo! The roast chicken we've been waiting for! Legolas: It has heard the Sea, and will now be ever restless. Pippin: Did someone say chicken? Galadriel: It passes the test. It will diminish, and cross the road and remain a chicken. Eowyn: It doesn't want to stay in a cage behind bars any more until all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire. Boromir: It's a strange thing that we suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a chicken . . . such a little thing." Smeagol: What's chicken precious? What's chicken, eh? Gollum:: Because it doesn't have any friends. Nobody likes chicken. Gandalf: The chicken is never late, nor is it early. It crosses the road precisely when it means to. Bilbo: It needed a holiday, a very long holiday, and didn't expect to return. In fact, it meant not to. Sam: If the chicken takes one more step, it'll be the farthest from home it's ever been. Gamling: It leaves because there is no hope. Theoden: It leaves because it must. Faramir: Is this what you wish? That I had crossed the road and the chicken had not? Frodo: There was no other way. Orcs: Chicken? Why can't we have some chicken? We've had nothing but maggoty bread for three stinking days! Merry: All the other chickens have crossed. It would be ashamed to be left behind. Eowyn: Why can it not cross for those it loves? Frodo: I will take the chicken, though I do not know the way. Denethor: Bring wood and olive oil. We're having roast chicken. __________________ Middle Earth Crossword Puzzle on the Tolkien Site of DOOM Segovia Mazes

11-28-2005, 08:02 PM	#12
Lotesse of the House of Fëanor Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 6,150	LOL!! Great ones, Elanor! Did you think of these yourself? Hilarious! __________________ Few people have the imagination for reality. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

11-28-2005, 08:07 PM	#13
Elanor Hobbit in the Music Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Westmarch Posts: 1,111	Certainly not. The link I found Here are some more: Aragorn: Every day, the chicken moves closer to Mordor. Treebeard: Don't be hasty, young chicken! Faramir: To show his quality. Grima: A just question, my lord. Legolas: I have not the heart to tell you; for me the grief is still too near. __________________ Middle Earth Crossword Puzzle on the Tolkien Site of DOOM Segovia Mazes

11-28-2005, 08:47 PM	#14
Elanor Hobbit in the Music Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Westmarch Posts: 1,111	This is really terrible. I can’t stop. I have to keep posting more of these... Arwen: Because there is no ship now that will carry him hence. Denethor: Chicken! Abandon your post and flee for your life! Gandalf: Because he was a Fool of a Chicken! Galadriel: Even the wisest cannot tell; for a chicken does many things. Gollum: It came to me, my precious, my chicken Gimli: Nobody tosses a chicken! Gandalf: Fly, you fool chicken! Saruman: He comes to Isengard seeking My Counsel. Celeborn: Tell me, where is the chicken, for I greatly desire to speak with him. Galadriel: He has fallen into Shadow... Gandalf: The chicken crossed the road? Then he has indeed left the path of wisdom. Pippin: Because we need someone with intelligence on this mission... quest... thing. Elrond: He may find friends upon his way when he least looks for it. Gandalf: Because he was meant to cross the road. And so you also were meant to cross it. And that is an encouraging thought. Elrond: He is dying- the chicken is dying. His life-force is tied to the road. Gimli: A chicken will cross the road and a dwarf dare not? Denethor: Chicken! Abandon your post and flee for your life! Elrond: I looked into the chicken's future and I saw death. Arwen: But there is also life. You saw there was a chicken! You saw my chicken! Théoden: Because I told Gamling to make haste across the Riddermark and summon every able-bodied chicken to Dunharrow. Frodo: What does it matter? It is gone and now all is dark and empty! Legolas: The red dawn. Chicken Soup has been spilled this night. Pippin: He was taking a shortcut Sam: A shortcut to what? Merry: MUSHROOMS! Aragorn: It was a dream. Arwen: Then it was an extra crispy dream. Gollum: Musn't ask us. Not his business. Gollum! Gollum! Grima: Late is the hour in which this chicken chooses to appear. Saruman: Because clearly its love of the Halflings' weed has slowed its mind. Elrond: This is its test...every path it has trod, through wilderness, through war...has led it to this road. Gandalf: I've sent him to his death. Celeborn: Seldom will they travel by day, yet this chicken has done so. Galadriel: Do we let the chicken stand alone? Gandalf: He must go by another road; he must look to the River, and the black fleet. Theoden: Muster the chickens. Eomer: Oaths he has taken, to lord and land! Legolas: Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of chickens? Eowyn: He had no warning. He was unarmed. And now the wildmen are moving through the chicken coop, burning as they go... __________________ Middle Earth Crossword Puzzle on the Tolkien Site of DOOM Segovia Mazes Last edited by Elanor : 11-29-2005 at 08:09 PM.

11-28-2005, 09:31 PM	#15
Butterbeer Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: here and there Posts: 3,514	hilarious! takes hat off to Elanor** Last edited by Butterbeer : 11-28-2005 at 09:32 PM.

11-28-2005, 09:49 PM	#16
Elanor Hobbit in the Music Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Westmarch Posts: 1,111	Not mine-- I just collected the best ones I found on other sites. Gandalf: There are many roads in this world, and none of them should be crossed lightly! Gollum: Is the chicken nice, my preciousss? Is it juicy? Is it scrumptiously crunchable? Elrond: Let him not vow to cross the road who has not seen the cars go by. Gandalf: The dark fire will not avail you, chicken. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot cross. Last edited by Elanor : 11-29-2005 at 07:13 PM.

11-28-2005, 09:52 PM	#17
Butterbeer Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: here and there Posts: 3,514	still, incredibly funny. cheers!

11-29-2005, 01:59 PM	#18
The last sane person The Black Númenórean Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6,773	Par exellance! or however that is spelled I like the first one Boromir: To defend Gondor against its enemys. Aragorn- It was a dream. Arwen- Then it was an extra crispy dream. I didn't know Arwen liked Kentucky Fried Chicken.... Elrond: I looked into the chicken's future and I saw death. Arwen: But there is also life. You saw there was a chicken! You saw my chicken! So worried over the fate of her pets... __________________ Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

11-29-2005, 08:05 PM	#19
Elanor Hobbit in the Music Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Westmarch Posts: 1,111	Yes, I'm afraid these are pretty funny. I like the Eowyn ones myself. Here are some I made up (not as funny): Elrond: You have only one choice. The chicken must be destroyed. Cast it into the fire! Boromir: One does not simply cross the road.... It is a barren wasteland riddled with fire, ash, and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand chickens could you do this. It is folly. Galadriel: Even the smallest chicken can cross the road. Gandalf: I think there's more to this chicken than meets the eye. Pippin: Is he going to die? Aragorn: He is crossing the Shadow Road. He'll soon become a chicken like them. Bilbo: It's a dangerous business, chicken, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to. Gandalf: Chickens really are amazing creatures. You can learn all there is to know about them in a day, and yet after a hundred years they can still surprise you. Galadriel: Because the time will soon come when chickens will shape the fortunes of all. Gandalf: He was far too eager and curious for a chicken. Most unnatural. Frodo: Why did he cross the road? Aragorn: He was once a chicken... Now he is slave to Sauron's will... At all times he feels the presence of the Ring, drawn to the power of the One. He will never stop hunting you. __________________ Middle Earth Crossword Puzzle on the Tolkien Site of DOOM Segovia Mazes

12-14-2005, 03:23 AM	#20
Elanor Hobbit in the Music Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Westmarch Posts: 1,111	Aragorn: What does your heart tell you? Gandalf: That the chicken has crossed the road, yes. He has crossed. But why? We may never know. __________________ Middle Earth Crossword Puzzle on the Tolkien Site of DOOM Segovia Mazes

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