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Old 08-18-2004, 01:03 PM   #1
Valandil
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Hilarious LOTR Book Review

I saw this awhile back and just found it via search. Must be read to be believed:

http://www.wbcelite.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=740
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Old 08-18-2004, 01:46 PM   #2
brownjenkins
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funny stuff...

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as if anyone wanted serious 'social commentary' in a fantasy novel!
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Old 08-18-2004, 01:55 PM   #3
sun-star
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And that is why Tolkien is fantasy for people who don't like fantasy (like me)
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And all the time the waves, the waves, the waves
Chase, intersect and flatten on the sand
As they have done for centuries, as they will
For centuries to come, when not a soul
Is left to picnic on the blazing rocks,
When England is not England, when mankind
Has blown himself to pieces. Still the sea,
Consolingly disastrous, will return
While the strange starfish, hugely magnified,
Waits in the jewelled basin of a pool.
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Old 08-18-2004, 02:45 PM   #4
Attalus
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That reminds me of what Yogi Berra is supposed to have said about Shakespeare: "I don't like him. He is all quotations."
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Old 08-18-2004, 02:58 PM   #5
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It was a bit too obviously a joke, me thinks, but otherwise pretty funny.
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Old 08-19-2004, 03:50 PM   #6
Valandil
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I like the various condescending comments:

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Tolkien just doesn't seem to understand how characters generated by a role-playing game system work, particularly wizards...
Quote:
...but no: with blatant disregard for the rules of the role-playing game, Tolkien expects us to believe...
Quote:
Unfortunately, this kind of silliness is compelled by Tolkien's plot, which has been plagiarised, almost incident by incident, from that masterpiece of modern fantasy...
Quote:
...It is not only the conventions of the series novel, or of the role-playing game tie-in, which Tolkien ignores: he writes in total ignorance of the kind of thing which readers throughout the world have come to expect from fantasy novels. There are no voluptuous sword-maidens, for example...
Quote:
Tolkien also violates the cardinal rule of role-playing games by dividing his adventure party, ultimately into three groups...
Quote:
...To make matters worse, Tolkien pads out the considerable length of the book with extensive appendices. These are not even appendices of the kind you could use to develop a good game scenario, such as weapons statistics or encounter charts. Tolkien supplies us with dull chronologies, and details of the 'languages' spoken by the different races of Middle-earth. The average Realms of Middle-earth ready-to-play scenario runs to about one-tenth the length of Tolkien's appendices, and has far more useful information.
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Old 08-20-2004, 06:01 AM   #7
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very funny i really enjoyed the thing. I haven't laughed at something online in awhile. Ive chuckled but laughed no.
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