02-28-2006, 09:59 PM | #1 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 421
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Violence between siblings
I am posting a link to this NYT article on violence between siblings.
I was recently bring up the topic of how the traditional family bound by the holy marriage of the prents is not always that heavenly situation is it said to be. I have also to say that the article does not really go to the heart of my point because the article talks about intentional violence. I am even more concerned about the widespread, pervasive (but hidden) violence that well-meaning parents do to their children. |
02-28-2006, 10:04 PM | #2 |
The Black Númenórean
Join Date: Feb 2003
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Violence tween siblings?! Me and my brothers take the cake in that arena! Whew....Some of the moves we bust on eachother would kill lesser built creatures. Or me. SOme pretty close calls thought.
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02-28-2006, 10:29 PM | #3 |
Spaceman Spiff
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I have both a younger sister and younger brother and we fight constantly. Though i have never hit my sister i have brought her to tears just by words. My brother on the other hand, we have been in many fist fights but 10 mins after its over we're best friends again. My parents never looked the other way or regarded our fights as "boys being boys". They took every fight seriously and we never told them we had a fight becuase no matter how bad it was it would get worse if they found out. I knew a guy in high school who use to torture his younger brother. I remember stoping by one time to find him hanging in a gym bag, the ones with the netting, from a door. I was like, what are you doing?! His brother still fears him today. Its a tough thing to know where fighting ends and abuse begins. Is it when someone gets hurt? Where one person feels abused while the other doesnt? Can you not have a rough fight and then things be okay again? Should children worry about legal trouble when they've had a fight with a sibling?
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02-28-2006, 10:29 PM | #4 |
Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!)
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interesting article! sad ...
My kids spat a lot but don't use physical violence that I've seen besides the occasional push or so.
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03-01-2006, 12:32 AM | #5 | ||
"The Bomb"
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Interesting article.
I think that study on the first page was pushing it a little bit. They're saying that 35% of kids have been attacked by their siblings, and that's not a big number. But of them, only "4.55 percent were hit hard enough to sustain injuries like bruises, cuts, chipped teeth and an occasional broken bone." Now, if someone hits me so lightly that it didn't even cause a bruise, that's far from an attack in my book. My brothers and I used push each other around and give Indian rugburns, noogies, wedgies, and other such kid's stuff on a regular basis, and for a while my older brother used to smack us until I returned enough blows to knock some sense into him. Don't people know this is normal? Watch the Fighting Sullivans. *thinks thinks thinks thinks* Only four times in my house were there outbreaks of true violence, and immediately afterward, the disputes were dropped. Either the attacker, after seeing what he had done, finally realised that he was a childish jerk in need of reform; or the victim, after learning just how upsetting he was to his brothers, also learned to leave them alone. Violence solved those problems like nothing else could have. I know that's rarely the case. Quote:
Quote:
I have a friend who used to abuse his younger sisters. Not torture, but abuse. To name a two incidents, he pushed one over the side of the deck (14 feet or so) because he didn't think she should be sitting on the railing in the first place, and he clotheslined the other for stepping outside the house while he was on the front yard with friends. That stuff was a combo of him being a booger-eating, picked-on, diagnosed hyperactive kid and utterly stupid parents who wouldn't even dare frown at him. I was surprised to hear that psych. problems aren't the leading cause of sibling abuse. Who in their right mind would act like that?
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03-01-2006, 11:09 PM | #6 | |||
Elven Warrior
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Quote:
Quote:
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Last edited by The Wizard from Milan : 03-01-2006 at 11:16 PM. |
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03-02-2006, 12:23 AM | #7 | ||
"The Bomb"
Join Date: Apr 2003
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Quote:
When I was young, it seemed natural to me that all siblings fight a lot, and that later in life, those fights would be fondly remembered between them, and they'd be better for it all somehow. It's a really Brady Bunch attitude, isn't it? Corny; big conflicts, but they're always ended with smiles and a stronger family bond, and every so often they'll be that charming "after all that we've been through" episode full of flashbacks to a decade full of vicious arguments. Sorry, I just realized how ridiculous that was as I typed it. All kids are ridiculous. I'm sort of jumping to the conclusion that you saw your siblings when you were a child as the faithful guardians responsible for your protection and exposure to much of the world. I can totally relate to that, because that's how I think of my parents, and when they contradict that expectation it is psychologically damaging. But my brothers are an entirely different story. A good story too, I should clarify, though not so simply understood as such. I'm definately not saying I'm better, more thought-out, or more right than you, either! Different points of view lead to very different reactions to the same situation. Quote:
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Could it be that one path to enlightenment leads through insanity? Last edited by Bombadillo : 03-02-2006 at 12:35 AM. |
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03-02-2006, 12:34 AM | #8 |
Saviour of Entmoot Admiral
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So if the violence doesn't leave a big enough bruise for you, it is ok?
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03-02-2006, 12:49 AM | #9 |
"The Bomb"
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Not OK. I'm not condoning it. But it isn't a traumatizing event when, playing with Lincoln Logs, two kids go after the same piece and start fighting. They'll push each other and pry at each other's fingers until one wins, then maybe the loser will start slapping the victor and get pushed away, crying. Ultimately, no physical harm is done, and fights like this are routine. Two minutes later the winner will have finished and destroyed his Lincoln Log house and he'll be playing peacefully again with the loser, until the same thing happens. At the end of the day, they're just playmates. Both kids had fun for the most part and no one is harmed.
Similar things happen to adults, too, I want to point out. The difference is that we're too mature to push, shove, and cry. Think of manners. If someone sees us unwrapping a piece of gum, and they ask for some, we just give it to them or split it or something without even thinking about it and certainly without fighting. Afterwards, there's no resentment.
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03-03-2006, 01:24 PM | #10 |
Elven Warrior
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HAHAHAHA yea me and my sister fight so much! karate moves and kicking..screaming pulling the hair and nails....*shudder* she has long nails...i think it has to do with me being a gemini and my sister being a cancer...sometimes we get along...but those are rare and my parents take out the camera or implant it into their minds...* the times when our children did get along and were actually not screaming bloody murder* lol its not that bad
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Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer: Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulaer! Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer: Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulaer! REST IN PEACE GRANDMA, GREAT AUNT, GREAT UNCLE .....they're gunna fly with the angels now so say goodbye..but i can't. You don't really realize the importance of someone until they are gone |
03-07-2006, 02:22 PM | #11 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 340
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a lot of siblings dont get along...eventually one gets tired of the person that is constantly around and gets irritated at the little things that usually dont bother us...like my sister trys to irritate me but usually it doesnt bug me at all but today i got really irritated and mad at her for all the times she constantly bugged me
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Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer: Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulaer! Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer: Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulaer! REST IN PEACE GRANDMA, GREAT AUNT, GREAT UNCLE .....they're gunna fly with the angels now so say goodbye..but i can't. You don't really realize the importance of someone until they are gone |
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