What would you do? heh heh heh . . . - Page 9

bropous · 01-17-2002, 09:09 PM

LOL, no offense taken in any way, FrodoFriend!

Nazgûl Queen · 01-17-2002, 10:52 PM

*is addicted*
Ur story is soo cool!
Its the thing that makes me come here so often!
I LOVE IT!

FrodoFriend · 01-17-2002, 11:58 PM

In Rivendell, Hugo is riveted to his Spoon.
HW: Now this is what I call prime-time entertainment! *throws a Butterfinger BB into the air and catches it in his mouth*

Meanwhile, in Shelob's lair . . .
AL: Hit me.
CH: *hits AL*
AL: You fool dwarf! *hiccups and smacks CH*
TS: How 'bout some more aaaaaaalllllee -- AI! AI!
AL: Oh, what is it now, you stupid Smurf . . . er, Nerf . . . Elk . . . whatever.
TS: AI! AI! *points at HUGE BIGASS SPIDER*
AL & CH: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!
CH: Ewwww, somebody step on it!
JD: No! Look, the poor creature's wounded.
AL: Poor creature?! That?!
JD: I feel great pity for the miserable wretch . . .
CH: Kill it!! Kill it!!
JD: No, I'll put it outside! *picks up HUGE BIGASS GLASS and HUGE BIGASS PIECE OF PAPER. Puts HUGE BIGASS GLASS over Shelob, but when his eyes meet all eight of hers, he is moved to even greater pity*
SH: If you . . . touch me . . . I will RIP OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND WEAR THEM IN MY EARS!
JD: But . . . you don't have any ears.
SH: *sob* I know, but do you have to rub it in? I've NEVER had any ears, NEVER gotten to wear ear rings or anything!
JD: I'm terribly sorry.
SH: *sniffs* And everyone hates me and those little people stabbed me with their knives!
JD: I'm sure they didn't mean it.
SH: I'm actually very nice once you get to know me . . .
JD: *looks at Shelob and smiles*
SH: All these years alone . . . nothing but dead, dried up carcases to keep me company . . . *bursts into tears*
JD: *reaches out and sympathetically takes Shelob's claw* I will be your company, if you wish it.

Suddenly, a light begins to shine around Shelob. Her huge, squelching body is lifted into the air. Light surrounds her until JD & his companions have to look away. Slowly, the light recedes and Shelob returns to Earth, except . . . in place of a HUGE BIGASS SPIDER, a BEAUTIFUL BLONDE WOMAN has appeared!

BBW: *opens eyes and looks at JD* Thank you, my saviour! I will love you for all eternity!
JD: Woohoo !
BBW: My name is Eowyn. I enjoy, cooking, cleaning, collecting stamps, and killing Nazgul kings.
JD: *looks a little dazed* Sweeeet . . .
TS: *grumbles* Man, men have all the luck.
CH: Yayyy! My congrats! Now let's celebrate with another round of . . . Dwaaaaaaaaarrrrviiiiishhh aallllllleeeeee !!! *whoops and sprays ale on JD & EO*
AL: *sighs and thinks of Arwen* Come on, fellows! We must finish the task to that I too can have a hot chick and be sprayed with ale!
*TS, CH, AL, JD & EO all make for the exit of the cave/tunnel*

Meanwhile . . .
FF: Well, what about our . . . awards? *slightly glazed eyes*
EW: Ummm . . . well, I do have some of these Twinkies that Galadriel gave me back in the Golden Health Spa. How would you like some of those?
RE: Good idea! *sighs* He's sooo dreamy when he offers us Twinkies . . .
EW: *looks around* Hey, can I have my shirt back any time?
*Sam, FF & RE look at each other*
Sam: We, uh, lost it.
EW: What?!
FF: Yeah, well, we were saving your life!
EW: You hid my shirt from me just so you could stare at my half-naked body!
*Sam, FF & RE look abashed*
RE: No, no . . . that's not the way of things at all!
FF: We can take off our shirts too, if that would make you feel better.
EW: *looks paranoid* That's all right.
Sam: Really, we'd be glad to --
EW: NO!
RE: But --
EW: *shoves a Twinkie in her mouth*
RE: Hhhmmmey . . . thwis ish guuud!
*Sam, FF & EW all grab Twinkies and begin eating them*

Back in Rivendell,
HW: Ha ha ha . . . catch me, catch me if you can, you can't catch me, I'm the Ringbearer Man! MWAHAHAHAHA!! Eh he he he!!!

In Shelob's lair,
EW: *stops eating* Did you guys hear something?
Sam, FF & RE: Nomphhh.
EW: Funny. I was sure I heard laughter.

EW gets up and wanders off a little. He sees a strange, multi-colored light flashing at the end of the tunnel, and is irresistibly drawn towards it. Closer he comes, and closer . . . until suddenly several scantily clad young-ish girls jump out from next to the light and hurl their voluptuous selves at him!

EW: Aaaahh!! Not more of these!
Girls: *giggle in annoying high voices* Look, a maaaan . . . let's take him with us!
EW: I'm not a Man! I'm a Hobbit!
Girls: *laugh screechingly and pick up EW*
EW: Hey! Put me down!
Girls: Lift - ho!
EW: Heck, I can see that you're hos, now LET ME GO! *tries to draw Stringthing, but a brawnier voluptuous girl take it away and pinches his cheeks*
Girls: *giggling, tie up EW in some thong bikinis*
EW: Help! HELP! Where are you taking me???!!!
Girls: Oh, don't be such a party-pooper! *giggle cutely* We're just going to the . . . TOWER OF TEMPTATION!!
EW: No! I already have fanatic followers! And they're much better than you! *starts yelling* Sam! FrodoFriend! Rogue! ALDESIGN!!!!
Girls: *giggle as they carry him away, out of the tunnel, and into the dreaded TOWER OF TEMPTATION!*

Back in the tunnel,
*As if on cue, Sam, FrodoFriend and Rogue stop eating*
FF: I just got a weird feeling.
RE: Me too.
Sam: Me three.
Galadriel: Me four.
RE: What the heck are you doing here?!!
Galadriel: Just checking in! *laughs like a maniac and disappears in a poof! of smoke*
FF: Oh my Eru!!! A whole bunch of scantily clad voluptuous girls have stolen Frodo!!
RE & Sam: NOOOOOOO!
All: FRRROOODDDOOOO! WE'RE COMING! *run madly down the tunnel*

In Rivendell,
Hugo & Galadriel are looking into their respective Spoon and Bird Bath.
GA: Hugo, you are a genius!
HU: Thank you, thank you, my dear! Now let us see what further havoc may occur!!
HU & GA: *laugh madly*

Rána Eressëa · 01-18-2002, 12:35 AM

Now I'm getting Twinkies shoved in my mouth? *sighs* He's soooo dreamily when he does that....

*maniacal laughter*

Oh, this is so fun...

Hmm...I keep wondering why Elijah would be attached to his fellow girl companions at first, and then be paranoid of them...he hasn't snapped out of believing he's Frodo yet. Then again, I, FrodoFriend, and Sam are all underage... *shakes head sadly* Oh, the tyranny of it all...

FrodoFriend · 01-18-2002, 12:35 AM

Woohoo! This story has reached 50 pages in my Word Document!!
*sprays Dwarvish ale on herself*

And Rogue, the thing with the body lotion was beautiful, just beautiful!

FrodoFriend · 01-18-2002, 12:38 AM

Oh, Elijah loves us, he's just not willing to face up to it yet.

samwise of the shire · 01-18-2002, 12:39 AM

I have no artistic ability AT all right now. I cant think of anything funny to say during Mordor, I'll leave it to the other girls.
Sam:*Stands up and pulls white ribbed t-shirt from the rock she was sitting on* Here I was sitting on it
EW:Thanks Sam.*pulls it on and all hobbits sigh*
Bye gotta go. You think up Mordor.
Sam

FrodoFriend · 01-18-2002, 12:43 AM

Noo, don't give him his shirt back! Besides, the scantily clad voluptuous girls have him *growls angrily* , so it's out of our hands for now.

Rána Eressëa · 01-18-2002, 12:45 AM

Oh, why thank you, FrodoFriend

Put all of our creative minds together, though, and we are genius!

*smiles wickedly*

Don't you agree, Wayfarer? *snickers*

FrodoFriend · 01-18-2002, 12:47 AM

Speaking of Wayfarer, when does he come back into the picture? OOOOOHH, wait, I just had an idea . . . hmmm, he might kill me though . . . heh heh heh, no, this is too good to let be. Wayfarer, my man, you is GOING DOWN!!

Feraway Hawkbriar · 01-18-2002, 12:51 AM

DAMNIT! if it isnt one thing, its another! *growl*

...ok..so like and hour a go my mom gave me a messege that she had gotten off the phone from me teacher saying I need to take up some extra classes again (I'm an independant study student and up till NOW I've only been doing like, 2 classes)..I have been asked, for my own good, to take up 3 more classes....and because of this I'm not going to have to put of the comic, indefinatly. *growl* paces around he room all pissy* DOOM CONSPIRES AGAINST ME!! *sees a table lamp* O_O AAAAAAH! DOOOOM! *sees a cat walk by * O_O DOOOOOOOOM!

T_T...*sigh*

I'm very sorry about this, but I just cant handle more classes and a project like this at the same time....I still do have sketches that I would like yall to have, I'll E-mail those out soon. *goes to nap off the frustration*

Evenstar · 01-18-2002, 06:46 AM

*refrains from laughing * This has to be the funniest thing I have ever read!!! I love Elijah too!!!

If I met him I would be tempted to do everything that you have writen, God knows it would be going through my head, but I think I would be unconscious on the floor!!!! KEEP IT UP PEOPLE!!!

Gerbil · 01-18-2002, 10:01 AM

OK this is getting really freaky.

And I can't help thinking of Monty Python with regards to the Tower of Temptation.

'There is no-one here but us pretty virgins aged 16-22, and we are lonely!'
...
'You must spank her'
'And me!'
'And me!'
*chorus of agreement*
'Yes, you must give us ALL a good spanking!'
'And after that comes the or.......'

Rána Eressëa · 01-18-2002, 06:08 PM

Gerbil...you've just got a dirty mind. *shakes head sadly*

samwise of the shire · 01-18-2002, 10:39 PM

Nay FrodFriend tis not out of our hands. We's gonna kick some BUTT
The hobbits look up to see a HUGE tower looming before them. Swiftly for a moment Sam thinks she sees a figure flit by the window.
Sam:What're we gonna do?Mr Frodo's captive by a group of man crazed SLUTS. We're here at the bottom of the tower and we need to find him. *Shakes her head, then look sharply up*THE RING. What if they find it? What then?MR FRODO!
RE,FF:FRODO WE'RE COMING!!!!!
*the hobbits enter the tower. One room is brightly lit and there are the girls dancing thier hearts out. The Hobbit shide thier eyes because the clothes in the dancing hall are almost no existant.Sam looks sickened,and is blushing furiously*
RE:*starts boogying to the groove*
FF:Rouge Elf let's go and find Frodo. We want to do it before the party STOPS, or somethign we DONT want to happen WILL.
Sam:*looks in door after door after door*He's not in ANY o fthese and thankfully no one is EITHER.
*the hobbits walk up and up and up with Sam looking in room after room after ROOM.Finally she finds a door high up in the bright ceiling*
Sam:Hello are you up there Mr Frodo?
*a head garbed in a helmet pokes it's face out*
Guy:WHo ees thess Frodo peerson?
FF:A guy that might have passed under you door about*looks at watch*Half and hour ago?He's very good looking with Big blue eyes and a smile that makes you want to faint. Have you seen him?
GUY:No. I do not care for your Frodo peerson, you sons..
Sam

AUGHTERS hello cant you see we're GIRLS!DUH
Guy

aughters of a hamster and a cookoo.
FF:Listen Tell us where Frodo is and we'll give you some Twinkies.
Guy:I fart in you general direction you english pig dogs. Now go away or will taunt you another time ah.
RE:What a waste of breath.*starts humming a song.Suddenly to their joy and happiness they here coming from the annoying frenchmans chamber another voice...Frodos voice*
Sam:Hey you French poodle. We hear Frodo give him to us or we shall say....*looks around*NEE!NEE!
FM:Eh what is zat. Nee?NEE? Take your Frodo peerson thing.
*opens the hatch and out drops Frodo without his t-shirt*
Sam:Thank GOODNESS.
Ok Is that enough Monty Python for you Gerbil? I hope so. And let's keep this PG. We had better get out of that confounded tower QUICK.
Sam

Rána Eressëa · 01-18-2002, 11:26 PM

I happen to think he looks dashingly good in his spotless white feminine blouse... *sighs dreamily*

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha . . .

FrodoFriend · 01-18-2002, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gerbil
OK this is getting really freaky.

And I can't help thinking of Monty Python with regards to the Tower of Temptation.

'There is no-one here but us pretty virgins aged 16-22, and we are lonely!'
...
'You must spank her'
'And me!'
'And me!'
*chorus of agreement*
'Yes, you must give us ALL a good spanking!'
'And after that comes the or.......'

Well, I did watch the Holy Grail just before I read that. Monty Python is the funniest thing that ever happened to me! Except maybe this story, LOL!

jerseydevil · 01-19-2002, 01:12 AM

cool. Now I can join with the house of Rohan.

Just make sure Aldesign remembers that he has Arwen. There's nothing worse than an elf scorned.

That would not be a pretty sight if Arwen thought Aldesign was looking at another woman. And since Hugo is following all this through his spoon - I'm sure he'd tell her. She'd be down to Miami in a heart beat to give Aldesign a piece of her mind. hint hint

Rána Eressëa · 01-19-2002, 10:56 AM

Tell me, am I correct when saying you're thinking, "Screw Faramir, Eowyn's mine."

Rána Eressëa · 01-19-2002, 12:00 PM

(RE, FF, & Sam all lift up the drowsy, half-asleep EW and beginning running back down the hall they came. An alarm sets off all through the Tower and female voices are yelling and screaming.)

Girl: AHHH!!! He's been stolen! Our toy has been stolen!
Girl 2: His is still under our spell! She can lure him back!

(Suddenly a screechy voice from not too far away begins singing...)

Screechy Voice: I'm a sllllaaavvvvveeee for you...I won't deny it....I cannot hide it....I'm a....
FF: My Eru! What is that awful singing?!
Sam: It's their commander! She's trying to get to Mr. Frodo! We must RUN!
Screechy Voice: I'm a sllllaaavvvvveeee for you...I won't deny it....I cannot hide it....I'm a....

(They Sam & FF jerk off in a run, but are halted. Rogue Elf has disappeared.)

FF: Not AGAIN!!!
Sam: Look! There she is! The singing is luring her!

(RE is dancing off in front of them, singing along with the song.)

FF: NOOOO!!! Let's get her!

(Sam & FF run after RE while they're still holding EW. They grab RE and begin running out. RE is screaming and kicking and EW is beginning to wake up and protest. Sam & FF drag them off down the stairs, but at the bottom, there's a army of nearly naked proper-aged girls.)

Girls: [chanting] Thieves! THIEVES! Thieves! THIEVES!
Sam & FF: [blink] Is there a point to this?
Girl: Not really...
FF: Then can we just run off as you guy--girls...chase after us?
Girl 2: Alright! Like, totally rad!

(Sam & FF run off with RE & EW as the girls chase after them. The singing is getting nearer, though, and an exit can't be seen.)

Sam: We're DOOMED! Oh, Mr. Frodo, I'm sorry...
FF: Wait! The singing's stopped!

(Sure enough, the singing's stopped. FF & Sam listen carefully, and suddenly RE is woken from her spell, but is having serious side-effects.)

RE: Oh, I'm hungry...I had a dream with a BIG, BIG feast...and lots of HANDSOME, HANDSOME guys were there... [sighs] Even Elijah...
Sam: It's Frodo, if you haven't noticed, Rogue Elf.
RE: ...And we all danced to erotic songs and then went swimming in a nice, warm jacuzzi...
FF: Ah! That's not fair! I want that dream, too!
RE: ...And then we all had some Dwwwwaaaarrrrrvvvvviiiisssshhhhh ALE! And Elijah splashed a cup of it on my face... [sighs]
FF & Sam: [looking worried]
Sam: Uh...that really did happen...

(Suddenly the voice is singing more loudly and clear now, and is closer than ever.)

Screechy Voice: I'm a sllllaaavvvvveeee for you...I won't deny it....I cannot hide it....I'm a....
RE: Ah! That singing is awful! You know, earlier it actually sounded good 'cause it was so friggin' far away.
FF: We must run before their commander catches us! Come on!

(They begin running again. EW is muttering inaudible words when they come to double-doors. They're locked.)

Sam, FF, & RE: NOOOOO!!! We're doomed! [begin bawling]

(Then the commander appears out of nowhere and is dressed in scantily clad clothing. Everyone SCREAMS.)

Sam, FF, & RE: AHHH!!! It's Britney Spears!
Britney: Like, duh. Didn't my beautiful, chart-topping song, like, give it away?
RE: [draws out her dagger] You can't have him! He's not YOURS!
FF: [draws out her dagger] And if you try to take him, we'll tear apart your clothes and cut off your hair!
Britney: [screams with horror] Like, okay, okay! Take him away! Get out, get out! I'll, like, so totally unlock the doors for you.

(Britney unlocks the doors and RE, FF, & Sam run out with EW. There ahead, is the HUGE WHITE MANSION. And inside, they must destroy the One Ring. Cue horror music.)

Britney: Oh, they're, like, so rude! They didn't even say goodbye! Like, I am sooo not inviting them to my pajama party next week. [slams door]

(EW is fully revived now that he's away from the Tower of Temptation. He looks down at his half-naked body.)

EW: AHHH!!! I'm nearly naked! Where's my shirt?!
Sam: This time, it's not our fault, Mr. Frodo.
FF: Yeah, those, women over at that Tower did it.
RE: You know, they kidnapped him when he was shirtless...
Sam & FF: [smack RE upside the back of the head]
RE: [eyes misting over] Why's everyone yelling at me?!
EW: [smacks Sam & FF upside the back of their heads] Would you two quit confusing her like that? PLEASE?

(Sam & FF begin crying for being yelled at and slapped and RE begins crying for being slapped. EW sighs and gives them all a big hug.)

EW: I'm sorry... [sniffles] I don't know what's come over me...
Sam, FF, & RE: [grin and high-five each other behind EW's back]

(The HUGE WHITE MANSION is still looming in the distance. I wonder why they haven't noticed it yet.)

RE: Alright, alright! We get the picture! Yeesh!

(The Hobbits all look up at the HUGE WHITE MANSION looming in the distance. They all sigh sadly.)

EW: Let's go...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S. -- Wayfarer shouldn't show 'til the very end when everything's finished that way they can yell and lecture him for a change. Hehehe....

01-17-2002, 09:09 PM	#161
bropous EIDRIORCQWSDAKLMED DCWWTIWOATTOPWFIO Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Littleton, CO Posts: 1,176	LOL, no offense taken in any way, FrodoFriend! __________________ "...[The Lord of the Rings] is to exemplify most clearly a recurrent theme: the place in 'world politics' of the unforeseen and unforeseeable acts of will, and deeds of virtue of the apparently small, ungreat, fogotten in the places of the Wise and Great (good as well as evil). A moral of the whole (after the primary symbolism of the Ring, as the will to mere power, seeking to make itself objective by physical force and mechanism, and so also inevitably by lies) is the obvious one that without the high and noble the simple and vulgar is utterly mean; and without the simple and ordinary the noble and heroic is meaningless." Letters of JRR Tolkien, page 160.

01-17-2002, 10:52 PM	#162
Nazgûl Queen Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Minas Morgul Posts: 400	is addicted Ur story is soo cool! Its the thing that makes me come here so often! I LOVE IT! __________________ Morauko Umrien, Queen of the Nazgûl and Lady of Mordor Mistress of the Night The Nazgûl Queen she was, the Ringwraith, the enemy's most terrible servant; darkness went with her and she cried with the voices of death. Can be found loitering at Fantasy Essentials or her livejournal...

01-17-2002, 11:58 PM	#163
FrodoFriend Halfwitted Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Eryn Vorn Posts: 1,659	In Rivendell, Hugo is riveted to his Spoon. HW: Now this is what I call prime-time entertainment! throws a Butterfinger BB into the air and catches it in his mouth Meanwhile, in Shelob's lair . . . AL: Hit me. CH: hits AL AL: You fool dwarf! hiccups and smacks CH TS: How 'bout some more aaaaaaalllllee -- AI! AI! AL: Oh, what is it now, you stupid Smurf . . . er, Nerf . . . Elk . . . whatever. TS: AI! AI! points at HUGE BIGASS SPIDER AL & CH: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! CH: Ewwww, somebody step on it! JD: No! Look, the poor creature's wounded. AL: Poor creature?! That?! JD: I feel great pity for the miserable wretch . . . CH: Kill it!! Kill it!! JD: No, I'll put it outside! picks up HUGE BIGASS GLASS and HUGE BIGASS PIECE OF PAPER. Puts HUGE BIGASS GLASS over Shelob, but when his eyes meet all eight of hers, he is moved to even greater pity SH: If you . . . touch me . . . I will RIP OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND WEAR THEM IN MY EARS! JD: But . . . you don't have any ears. SH: sob I know, but do you have to rub it in? I've NEVER had any ears, NEVER gotten to wear ear rings or anything! JD: I'm terribly sorry. SH: sniffs And everyone hates me and those little people stabbed me with their knives! JD: I'm sure they didn't mean it. SH: I'm actually very nice once you get to know me . . . JD: looks at Shelob and smiles SH: All these years alone . . . nothing but dead, dried up carcases to keep me company . . . bursts into tears JD: reaches out and sympathetically takes Shelob's claw I will be your company, if you wish it. Suddenly, a light begins to shine around Shelob. Her huge, squelching body is lifted into the air. Light surrounds her until JD & his companions have to look away. Slowly, the light recedes and Shelob returns to Earth, except . . . in place of a HUGE BIGASS SPIDER, a BEAUTIFUL BLONDE WOMAN has appeared! BBW: opens eyes and looks at JD Thank you, my saviour! I will love you for all eternity! JD: Woohoo ! BBW: My name is Eowyn. I enjoy, cooking, cleaning, collecting stamps, and killing Nazgul kings. JD: looks a little dazed Sweeeet . . . TS: grumbles Man, men have all the luck. CH: Yayyy! My congrats! Now let's celebrate with another round of . . . Dwaaaaaaaaarrrrviiiiishhh aallllllleeeeee !!! whoops and sprays ale on JD & EO AL: sighs and thinks of Arwen Come on, fellows! We must finish the task to that I too can have a hot chick and be sprayed with ale! TS, CH, AL, JD & EO all make for the exit of the cave/tunnel Meanwhile . . . FF: Well, what about our . . . awards? slightly glazed eyes EW: Ummm . . . well, I do have some of these Twinkies that Galadriel gave me back in the Golden Health Spa. How would you like some of those? RE: Good idea! sighs He's sooo dreamy when he offers us Twinkies . . . EW: looks around Hey, can I have my shirt back any time? Sam, FF & RE look at each other Sam: We, uh, lost it. EW: What?! FF: Yeah, well, we were saving your life! EW: You hid my shirt from me just so you could stare at my half-naked body! Sam, FF & RE look abashed RE: No, no . . . that's not the way of things at all! FF: We can take off our shirts too, if that would make you feel better. EW: looks paranoid That's all right. Sam: Really, we'd be glad to -- EW: NO! RE: But -- EW: shoves a Twinkie in her mouth RE: Hhhmmmey . . . thwis ish guuud! Sam, FF & EW all grab Twinkies and begin eating them Back in Rivendell, HW: Ha ha ha . . . catch me, catch me if you can, you can't catch me, I'm the Ringbearer Man! MWAHAHAHAHA!! Eh he he he!!! In Shelob's lair, EW: stops eating Did you guys hear something? Sam, FF & RE: Nomphhh. EW: Funny. I was sure I heard laughter. EW gets up and wanders off a little. He sees a strange, multi-colored light flashing at the end of the tunnel, and is irresistibly drawn towards it. Closer he comes, and closer . . . until suddenly several scantily clad young-ish girls jump out from next to the light and hurl their voluptuous selves at him! EW: Aaaahh!! Not more of these! Girls: giggle in annoying high voices Look, a maaaan . . . let's take him with us! EW: I'm not a Man! I'm a Hobbit! Girls: laugh screechingly and pick up EW EW: Hey! Put me down! Girls: Lift - ho! EW: Heck, I can see that you're hos, now LET ME GO! tries to draw Stringthing, but a brawnier voluptuous girl take it away and pinches his cheeks Girls: giggling, tie up EW in some thong bikinis EW: Help! HELP! Where are you taking me???!!! Girls: Oh, don't be such a party-pooper! giggle cutely We're just going to the . . . TOWER OF TEMPTATION!! EW: No! I already have fanatic followers! And they're much better than you! starts yelling Sam! FrodoFriend! Rogue! ALDESIGN!!!! Girls: giggle as they carry him away, out of the tunnel, and into the dreaded TOWER OF TEMPTATION! Back in the tunnel, As if on cue, Sam, FrodoFriend and Rogue stop eating FF: I just got a weird feeling. RE: Me too. Sam: Me three. Galadriel: Me four. RE: What the heck are you doing here?!! Galadriel: Just checking in! laughs like a maniac and disappears in a poof! of smoke FF: Oh my Eru!!! A whole bunch of scantily clad voluptuous girls have stolen Frodo!! RE & Sam: NOOOOOOO! All: FRRROOODDDOOOO! WE'RE COMING! run madly down the tunnel In Rivendell, Hugo & Galadriel are looking into their respective Spoon and Bird Bath. GA: Hugo, you are a genius! HU: Thank you, thank you, my dear! Now let us see what further havoc may occur!! HU & GA: laugh madly __________________ Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears Last edited by FrodoFriend : 01-18-2002 at 12:59 AM.

01-18-2002, 12:35 AM	#165
FrodoFriend Halfwitted Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Eryn Vorn Posts: 1,659	Woohoo! This story has reached 50 pages in my Word Document!! sprays Dwarvish ale on herself And Rogue, the thing with the body lotion was beautiful, just beautiful! __________________ Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears

01-18-2002, 12:38 AM	#166
FrodoFriend Halfwitted Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Eryn Vorn Posts: 1,659	Oh, Elijah loves us, he's just not willing to face up to it yet. __________________ Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears

01-18-2002, 12:35 AM	#164
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	Now I'm getting Twinkies shoved in my mouth? sighs He's soooo dreamily when he does that.... maniacal laughter Oh, this is so fun... Hmm...I keep wondering why Elijah would be attached to his fellow girl companions at first, and then be paranoid of them...he hasn't snapped out of believing he's Frodo yet. Then again, I, FrodoFriend, and Sam are all underage... shakes head sadly Oh, the tyranny of it all...

01-18-2002, 12:39 AM	#167
samwise of the shire Radically Tolkienited Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: If home is where the heart is, and my heart is in heaven...that should answer your question. <+>< Posts: 967	I have no artistic ability AT all right now. I cant think of anything funny to say during Mordor, I'll leave it to the other girls. Sam:Stands up and pulls white ribbed t-shirt from the rock she was sitting on Here I was sitting on it EW:Thanks Sam.pulls it on and all hobbits sigh Bye gotta go. You think up Mordor. Sam __________________ Jesus is my all in all <><+<><+<><+<><+<><+<><+ People who are so concerned with escapism do have a name...we call them jailers. ~J.R.R Tolkien Radically Saved, Totally Tolkienited GOD... BLESS... AMERICA...

01-18-2002, 12:43 AM	#168
FrodoFriend Halfwitted Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Eryn Vorn Posts: 1,659	Noo, don't give him his shirt back! Besides, the scantily clad voluptuous girls have him growls angrily , so it's out of our hands for now. __________________ Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears

01-18-2002, 12:45 AM	#169
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	Oh, why thank you, FrodoFriend Put all of our creative minds together, though, and we are genius! smiles wickedly Don't you agree, Wayfarer? snickers

01-18-2002, 12:47 AM	#170
FrodoFriend Halfwitted Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Eryn Vorn Posts: 1,659	Speaking of Wayfarer, when does he come back into the picture? OOOOOHH, wait, I just had an idea . . . hmmm, he might kill me though . . . heh heh heh, no, this is too good to let be. Wayfarer, my man, you is GOING DOWN!! __________________ Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears

01-18-2002, 12:51 AM	#171
Feraway Hawkbriar Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: California Posts: 348	DAMNIT! if it isnt one thing, its another! growl ...ok..so like and hour a go my mom gave me a messege that she had gotten off the phone from me teacher saying I need to take up some extra classes again (I'm an independant study student and up till NOW I've only been doing like, 2 classes)..I have been asked, for my own good, to take up 3 more classes....and because of this I'm not going to have to put of the comic, indefinatly. growl paces around he room all pissy* DOOM CONSPIRES AGAINST ME!! sees a table lamp O_O AAAAAAH! DOOOOM! sees a cat walk by O_O DOOOOOOOOM! T_T...sigh I'm very sorry about this, but I just cant handle more classes and a project like this at the same time....I still do have sketches that I would like yall to have, I'll E-mail those out soon. goes to nap off the frustration __________________ "The barks goes ever on and on out from the dog where they began. He's out there crapping on my lawn. Till I hit him with my van."

01-18-2002, 06:46 AM	#172
Evenstar Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Neverneverland Posts: 215	*refrains from laughing * This has to be the funniest thing I have ever read!!! I love Elijah too!!! If I met him I would be tempted to do everything that you have writen, God knows it would be going through my head, but I think I would be unconscious on the floor!!!! KEEP IT UP PEOPLE!!! __________________ "Frodo, Mr Frodo," he called. "Don't leave me here alone. It's your Sam calling. Don't you go where I can't follow." FRODO LIVES !!!!

01-18-2002, 10:01 AM	#173
Gerbil Elf Lord Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: London, UK Posts: 797	OK this is getting really freaky. And I can't help thinking of Monty Python with regards to the Tower of Temptation. 'There is no-one here but us pretty virgins aged 16-22, and we are lonely!' ... 'You must spank her' 'And me!' 'And me!' chorus of agreement 'Yes, you must give us ALL a good spanking!' 'And after that comes the or.......' __________________ Gerbil gerbil@theburrow.co.uk

01-18-2002, 06:08 PM	#174
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	Gerbil...you've just got a dirty mind. shakes head sadly

01-18-2002, 10:39 PM	#175
samwise of the shire Radically Tolkienited Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: If home is where the heart is, and my heart is in heaven...that should answer your question. <+>< Posts: 967	Nay FrodFriend tis not out of our hands. We's gonna kick some BUTT The hobbits look up to see a HUGE tower looming before them. Swiftly for a moment Sam thinks she sees a figure flit by the window. Sam:What're we gonna do?Mr Frodo's captive by a group of man crazed SLUTS. We're here at the bottom of the tower and we need to find him. Shakes her head, then look sharply upTHE RING. What if they find it? What then?MR FRODO! RE,FF:FRODO WE'RE COMING!!!!! the hobbits enter the tower. One room is brightly lit and there are the girls dancing thier hearts out. The Hobbit shide thier eyes because the clothes in the dancing hall are almost no existant.Sam looks sickened,and is blushing furiously RE:starts boogying to the groove FF:Rouge Elf let's go and find Frodo. We want to do it before the party STOPS, or somethign we DONT want to happen WILL. Sam:looks in door after door after doorHe's not in ANY o fthese and thankfully no one is EITHER. the hobbits walk up and up and up with Sam looking in room after room after ROOM.Finally she finds a door high up in the bright ceiling Sam:Hello are you up there Mr Frodo? a head garbed in a helmet pokes it's face out Guy:WHo ees thess Frodo peerson? FF:A guy that might have passed under you door aboutlooks at watchHalf and hour ago?He's very good looking with Big blue eyes and a smile that makes you want to faint. Have you seen him? GUY:No. I do not care for your Frodo peerson, you sons.. SamAUGHTERS hello cant you see we're GIRLS!DUH Guyaughters of a hamster and a cookoo. FF:Listen Tell us where Frodo is and we'll give you some Twinkies. Guy:I fart in you general direction you english pig dogs. Now go away or will taunt you another time ah. RE:What a waste of breath.starts humming a song.Suddenly to their joy and happiness they here coming from the annoying frenchmans chamber another voice...Frodos voice Sam:Hey you French poodle. We hear Frodo give him to us or we shall say....looks aroundNEE!NEE! FM:Eh what is zat. Nee?NEE? Take your Frodo peerson thing. opens the hatch and out drops Frodo without his t-shirt Sam:Thank GOODNESS. Ok Is that enough Monty Python for you Gerbil? I hope so. And let's keep this PG. We had better get out of that confounded tower QUICK. Sam __________________ Jesus is my all in all <><+<><+<><+<><+<><+<><+ People who are so concerned with escapism do have a name...we call them jailers. ~J.R.R Tolkien Radically Saved, Totally Tolkienited GOD... BLESS... AMERICA... Last edited by samwise of the shire : 01-18-2002 at 11:36 PM.

01-18-2002, 11:26 PM	#176
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	Speaking of Shirts... I happen to think he looks dashingly good in his spotless white feminine blouse... sighs dreamily Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha . . . Last edited by Rána Eressëa : 01-18-2002 at 11:42 PM.

01-19-2002, 01:12 AM	#178
jerseydevil I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Plainsboro, NJ Posts: 9,431	cool. Now I can join with the house of Rohan. Just make sure Aldesign remembers that he has Arwen. There's nothing worse than an elf scorned. That would not be a pretty sight if Arwen thought Aldesign was looking at another woman. And since Hugo is following all this through his spoon - I'm sure he'd tell her. She'd be down to Miami in a heart beat to give Aldesign a piece of her mind. hint hint __________________ Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide

01-19-2002, 10:56 AM	#179
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	Tell me, am I correct when saying you're thinking, "Screw Faramir, Eowyn's mine."

01-19-2002, 12:00 PM	#180
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	Escape from the Tower... (RE, FF, & Sam all lift up the drowsy, half-asleep EW and beginning running back down the hall they came. An alarm sets off all through the Tower and female voices are yelling and screaming.) Girl: AHHH!!! He's been stolen! Our toy has been stolen! Girl 2: His is still under our spell! She can lure him back! (Suddenly a screechy voice from not too far away begins singing...) Screechy Voice: I'm a sllllaaavvvvveeee for you...I won't deny it....I cannot hide it....I'm a.... FF: My Eru! What is that awful singing?! Sam: It's their commander! She's trying to get to Mr. Frodo! We must RUN! Screechy Voice: I'm a sllllaaavvvvveeee for you...I won't deny it....I cannot hide it....I'm a.... (They Sam & FF jerk off in a run, but are halted. Rogue Elf has disappeared.) FF: Not AGAIN!!! Sam: Look! There she is! The singing is luring her! (RE is dancing off in front of them, singing along with the song.) FF: NOOOO!!! Let's get her! (Sam & FF run after RE while they're still holding EW. They grab RE and begin running out. RE is screaming and kicking and EW is beginning to wake up and protest. Sam & FF drag them off down the stairs, but at the bottom, there's a army of nearly naked proper-aged girls.) Girls: [chanting] Thieves! THIEVES! Thieves! THIEVES! Sam & FF: [blink] Is there a point to this? Girl: Not really... FF: Then can we just run off as you guy--girls...chase after us? Girl 2: Alright! Like, totally rad! (Sam & FF run off with RE & EW as the girls chase after them. The singing is getting nearer, though, and an exit can't be seen.) Sam: We're DOOMED! Oh, Mr. Frodo, I'm sorry... FF: Wait! The singing's stopped! (Sure enough, the singing's stopped. FF & Sam listen carefully, and suddenly RE is woken from her spell, but is having serious side-effects.) RE: Oh, I'm hungry...I had a dream with a BIG, BIG feast...and lots of HANDSOME, HANDSOME guys were there... [sighs] Even Elijah... Sam: It's Frodo, if you haven't noticed, Rogue Elf. RE: ...And we all danced to erotic songs and then went swimming in a nice, warm jacuzzi... FF: Ah! That's not fair! I want that dream, too! RE: ...And then we all had some Dwwwwaaaarrrrrvvvvviiiisssshhhhh ALE! And Elijah splashed a cup of it on my face... [sighs] FF & Sam: [looking worried] Sam: Uh...that really did happen... (Suddenly the voice is singing more loudly and clear now, and is closer than ever.) Screechy Voice: I'm a sllllaaavvvvveeee for you...I won't deny it....I cannot hide it....I'm a.... RE: Ah! That singing is awful! You know, earlier it actually sounded good 'cause it was so friggin' far away. FF: We must run before their commander catches us! Come on! (They begin running again. EW is muttering inaudible words when they come to double-doors. They're locked.) Sam, FF, & RE: NOOOOO!!! We're doomed! [begin bawling] (Then the commander appears out of nowhere and is dressed in scantily clad clothing. Everyone SCREAMS.) Sam, FF, & RE: AHHH!!! It's Britney Spears! Britney: Like, duh. Didn't my beautiful, chart-topping song, like, give it away? RE: [draws out her dagger] You can't have him! He's not YOURS! FF: [draws out her dagger] And if you try to take him, we'll tear apart your clothes and cut off your hair! Britney: [screams with horror] Like, okay, okay! Take him away! Get out, get out! I'll, like, so totally unlock the doors for you. (Britney unlocks the doors and RE, FF, & Sam run out with EW. There ahead, is the HUGE WHITE MANSION. And inside, they must destroy the One Ring. Cue horror music.) Britney: Oh, they're, like, so rude! They didn't even say goodbye! Like, I am sooo not inviting them to my pajama party next week. [slams door] (EW is fully revived now that he's away from the Tower of Temptation. He looks down at his half-naked body.) EW: AHHH!!! I'm nearly naked! Where's my shirt?! Sam: This time, it's not our fault, Mr. Frodo. FF: Yeah, those, women over at that Tower did it. RE: You know, they kidnapped him when he was shirtless... Sam & FF: [smack RE upside the back of the head] RE: [eyes misting over] Why's everyone yelling at me?! EW: [smacks Sam & FF upside the back of their heads] Would you two quit confusing her like that? PLEASE? (Sam & FF begin crying for being yelled at and slapped and RE begins crying for being slapped. EW sighs and gives them all a big hug.) EW: I'm sorry... [sniffles] I don't know what's come over me... Sam, FF, & RE: [grin and high-five each other behind EW's back] (The HUGE WHITE MANSION is still looming in the distance. I wonder why they haven't noticed it yet.) RE: Alright, alright! We get the picture! Yeesh! (The Hobbits all look up at the HUGE WHITE MANSION looming in the distance. They all sigh sadly.) EW: Let's go... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ P.S. -- Wayfarer shouldn't show 'til the very end when everything's finished that way they can yell and lecture him for a change. Hehehe.... Last edited by Rána Eressëa : 01-19-2002 at 03:16 PM.