Fellowship of the Ringwraiths

[Gordis]

After a long five-day ride the fellowship at last saw the glimmer of the Gladden river. The lazy swampy stream joined the Majestic Anduin. The low hillocks at the confluence looked long deserted. Several holes openings could be, however seen. Following Wikkie's hissed orders, the wraiths dismounted. Moving silently as shadows they surrounded the holes. The night approached its darkest hour. A sickle moon hung at the horizon. Suddenly Wikkie's blood-curdling scream rang out. As one, the nazgul rushed forward. But nothing happened. Nine hisses were heard. Nine noses sniffed the air. There was no scent of warm blood, nothing.

"It is long deserted" sighed Wikkie
"I told you!" hissed Khamul.

At down the search of the area revealed a handful of rusted rings lying in display near the river bank. Some pieces of old bone and fragments of two small sculls were lying nearby. The bones looked at least a century old.

"Hmmm, what could that mean?" mused Wikkie, looking at Khamul suspiciously.
Khamul found himself at a loss for words. He longed to speak with the Master. He had to find means to have a Palantir connection undisturbed.

"I think I can take the first day-watch," ventured Khamul

[CrazySquirrel]

"A first day-watch?" sneered Lily. "Since when do you like day-watches, oh Khamul? I thought you were going to squeeze into one of them holes and take a nice nap..."
"Sssilenccce, wenchh!" snapped Khamul. "You ssshould learn how to ssspeak with your bettersss!"

Muttering darkly The Shadow of the East grabbed his saddlebag and settled on a hillock with his back to the company.

Wikkie shrugged his shoulders and soon settled to sleep, or seemed to do so, using Gor's stomach as a pillow.

"Mine is much softer, Wik", suggested Lily.
"Next time, baby, next time," muttered Wikkie, yawning.
"I could use yours," suggested Mor helpfully. Lily hissed in reply.

Soon all were asleep, curled as best they could on the ground.

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

A few hundred metres away Khamûl crouched over his Palantir.
"Why have you neglected to report for so long, my servant?" said Sauron.
"Sssory massster. Wikkie has been suspicious," hissed Khamûl.
"Just as I expected," replied Sauron. "Well what have you found?"
"Nothing. They will not take my advicccce and quessstion our new ally Ssssaruman. Foolssss. At thisss rate Mithrandir will have made a more powerful Ring before we find the one we sssseek," hissed Khamûl.

"Khamûl, who you talking to?" shouted Mor, from the camp.
"No one," shouted Khamûl.

"Mussst go ssssire. Mor'ssssss coming," hissed Khamûl, covering the palantir.

[Grey_Wolf]

Morning at the Gladden River. The Nazgul capable of daytime search went about it diligently while the others slept.

[CrazySquirrel]

Wikkie, though undoubtedly the most capable to endure daylight, shamelessly used his position and remained fast asleep on Gordis's stomach a Cheshire-cat smile on his face. Gor, for obvious reasons, was not taking part in the search as well. Khamul, exhausted from the first day's watch, has finally crawled into a hobbit hole. So Lily, Viv, Mor and Goth went away alone and wandered aimlessly along the Anduin bank.
"Let's try to catch some fish!!!" screeched Lily

[Lotesse]

"Yeah, yeah, that sounds like fun!" Viv squeaked enthusiastically.
"Are you guys out of your MINDS?!" responded Mor. A touch of panic had put a shaky edge to his voice.
"Yeah, come on, Lily, don't give Viv any ideas. Everybody just calm down, and let's have a normal day for once."
"No way, Goth! Come on, it'll be fun!" The more Viv thought about fishing and the possibilities inherent in such an adventure, the more worked up she became.
"Famous last words..." muttered Mor. " ' It'll be fun. ' Yeah, right."

[CrazySquirrel]

"We have to find a boat!" screeched Lily. Viv screeched a cry of pure nazgul enthusiasm. And behold... there was an old boat lying on the shore.
The four examined it as best they could, as they were practically blind in daylight.
"That will do!" said Lily. Mor and Goth were not so sure, but girl's happy screeches drowned their complaints.

[CrazySquirrel]

Hearing happy squeaks from the river bank, Wikkie shifted his head on Gor's belly and smiled.
"Don't you think, Gordi, they will need a rescue party quite soon?"

[Gordis]

"Perhaps, we should go now and see what they are up to?" suggested Gor, trying to wriggle out.
"No, darling, lie still, let them have their fun", replied Wikkie, repositioning his head on Gor's stomach.

[Grey_Wolf]

Suddenly, "terrified" shrieks came from away there the adventurous nazgul were trying to set out in the boat, which unfortunately was not sea-worthy, the river leaking into it from several small holes.

[CrazySquirrel]

Lily was sitting in the stern peering into the blue water. Goth has got a firm hold on Lily's bottom part to prevent her from falling. Mor was doing the same for Viv. Both Goth and Mor were shaken, their eyes shut tightly. Goth was muttering a prayer to Morgoth under his breath.

Girls fared much better. Giggling they tried to catch some fish with their invisible hands.
"Look! I almost got that one" screeched Lily. Suddenly she felt her feet were getting wet...

[Lotesse]

"Woah, Lily, what's that on your FOOT?" Viv pointed to the bottom of the boat, as a huge black water-mocassin slithered and cosied itself around Lily's bare foot. The snake looked like it had fallen in love.
"Awwww, how CUTE! He's so cute, ooohhh, look you guys!" Lil bent down to stroke her new-found friend.
Viv felt javelins of jealousy rip through her spirit. How come LILY got to find a pet snake? It wasn't fair. Seized by the rush of her impetuous envy, she grabbed the sides of the tiny, fragile boat and began to violently rock it. Her maliciously delighted twitter-giggle could be heard for miles around, as well as the furiously scared hoot-screams of her now-drenched friends. The snake was fine.

[Grey_Wolf]

And that truly did it. The boat broke up in several pieces with the result that the Nazgul all ended up in the river.

[CrazySquirrel]

"Vivvie! You HORRID undead FOOL! " shrieked Lily when her head broke the surface. Then her chainmail bra and girdle dragged her down.
Goth let go of Lily's legs and tried to grip her hair instead. Mor was still holding to Viv's midsection steadily dragging her down. The happy snake grinned evilly.

[Grey_Wolf]

Fortunately, though, the river-bank was only ten meters away, so Lily, finally controlling the panic, struck off towards dry land, the others following to the best of their ability. The adoring snake slithered after them.

[Lotesse]

"You'll be O.K., Lily, it's just water! Here, take this shirt off, put your arms up like that." Viv had no problem with the water, never had, and quickly assessed the scene to try and help her friends. She grasped Lily's shirt and bra and yanked it up and off, then tossed it over to the shore nearby.
"Let GO of me, Mor! Save yourself, I am FINE!" snapped Viv to poor Mor, who was only trying to help. He rolled his huge red eyes in exasperation and transferred his help to the sputtering-with-rage-and-water Lily, and Goth, who had been struck momentarily out of the moment by the sight of Lily's bra-less chest. With a great heave, clutching a wraith in each hand, he flopped the three of them down on the grassy banks of the stream, with the snake swimming after them in an excited swirl. That snake had no intention of leaving his new master; if snakes could be puppy-like, this snake would have been a Labrador.
Viv climbed out of the water after them, shaking her short hair and still giggling to herself. The others glared at her silently for a long, long minute.

[Butterbeer]

the snake slithered friendily up to the wraiths hissing ... something in it's small reptilian brain knew it was home... it had found some new cold and extremely enjoyable new friends ... ..my...they certianly were a hoot!


Seventeen bottles of the bubbly-stuff went down with the boat -thus explaining to a degree the fact that there were a number of wraiths punting up and down the Anduin, wearing straw hats and eating strawberries in their merriment (and by a funny chance completely disregarding ALL established fishing tips by the Anduin Angling Association ... or AAA (NOT the Angmarian Alcolholics Assoc - they disbanded when they got so drunk one night they all completely forgot it had even existed) as they were known hereabouts ...

somewhere, undercover and shivering beyond control old 'tall story' Hobbysquealer 'the talkative' put away his rod and maggots etc and quitly blended into the distance thinking "whew! that was a close call an' all - maybe it's too dangerous down here after all ... i'd best be back of to took-land and see me third cousin, once-removed (on my father's line ... him being the second cousin to old Bambbozle ... ) and see old 'bright eyes' frodo ...


meanwhile Sauron, although enjoying the baths ... was beginning (in cooking terms) to SIMMER ...

[Gordis]

Hearing the horrified screeches from the river, Gordis sprang up, dislodging Wikkie's head from its pillow abruptly. Muttering excuses hastily, she ran towards the bank.
"Viv, Lil, guys! What has happened? Are you hurt?"
Goth replied by a long elaborate curse that really should not have been uttered in the presence of ladies.

"Soooo, fishing for snakes, were you?" sneered Wikkie, fixing the unhappy wet wraiths with a cold gaze.
"Mor and Gor, you should not let the girls lead you to such foolishness. Now, as you are wet anyway, go and wash the horses. Viv, go and help them. After that you will take the next watch."
"As for you, Lily," continued Wikkie, eyeing her bare bosom appreciatively, "wipe yourself dry. You will be my pillow now. You look soft indeed."

[Grey_Wolf]

The next day, they went out again to fish, on their side of the river, since the disastrous attempt at crossing the river had put off the lot of them of boating.

[Gordis]

Way back in the Dark tower Sau sighted and tried to remain as calm as possible while looking into the depths of his Seeing Stone. The task was not easy (remaining calm that is), as every time he looked at his errant wraiths wasting the precious time drinking and cavorting, the bile rose in him and a major Orodruin eruption followed.

“Have you removed orc posts from Orodruin?” he asked the Mouth.
“Yes, Lord, the area is empty now for many leagues” replied Mouth.
“Good”
Sau has found them soon. A string of foul Orcish curses shook the very foundations of the Dark tower. With a shaking hand Sau removed the string with Nine rings from around his black neck.
"Where the hell is Khamul's ring?" growled Sau.
"Here it is, with a yellow stone" piped the Mouth
"Riiiighhht!" hissed Sau. Removing the yellow ring, he held all the others close to a brazier.

Far away the unfortunate wraiths howled in pain. Khamul quickly joined the chorus. "It is time to move" gasped Wikkie.