Favorite quote

[Lady of Rohan]

Originally posted by Baby-K
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the US of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war!"

Hey, my dad told me that one the other day! I had forgotten about it though. Its funny!

And one of the quotes that I thought was funny, was posted by Khamul but I'm not sure if he made it up so....; "Never underestemate the power of stupid people in large numbers"

[Khamûl]

Sorry, I can't take credit for that one. It's something that I read somewhere.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Yes...they can cause the raping of a supreme literary work on the silver screen.

[Elvengirl]

I just heard this today and I thought it was funny

Sometimes if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bull****.

[Jesus Freak]

"I was just about to quote Mark Twain when i realized that it's all in vain . A twist of fate a twisted look of pain. To defeat the wheat go against the grain.I know what you've been going through, but there is only so much one can do. The rest is up to you. -- Matthew Thiessen

This commandment i give you: love one another for as i have loved you so you must love one another - Jesus Christ

[wahine]

"War never decided who was right, only who was left."- no clue

"A country cannot simultaneously prepare and prevent war"- Einstein

"Never has there been a good war or a bad peace" - Franklin

" Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and not clothed." - Eisenhower

"I'm not pro-war, I'm pro-freedom, I'm pro-American. I am anything but pro-war, but I contend with the things it can so often bring." - No clue.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

IronParrot posted something fairly recently, but I can't find it....

Anyway:

"When you catch your kid swearing, do you wash his mouth out with soap, or do you sit him down and tell him he'd better not f*cking do it again?" Wahine, I think. Really made me laugh.

[Elvengirl]

lol very funny

Here's one I like
There's nothing as good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse ~ Ronald Reagan

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Another one I like:

Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.

[wahine]

"I'm going fishing." Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"Let's take your car." Really means.... "Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."

"Woman driver." Really means.... "Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen." Really means.... "As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

"It's a guy thing." Really means.... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?" Really means.... "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really mean.... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.

"Good idea." Really means.... "It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."

"Have you lost weight?" Really means.... "I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

"My wife doesn't understand me." Really means.... "She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

"It would take too long to explain." Really means.... "I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately." Really means.... "The batteries in the remote are dead."

"I got a lot done." Really means.... "I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."

"We're going to be late." Really means.... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Hey, I've read all the classics." Really means.... "I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972."

"You cook just like my mother used to." Really means.... "She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."

"I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind." Really means.... "I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means.... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear." Really means.... "Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." Really means.... "I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much of me." Really means.... "You want me to stay awake."

"It's a really good movie." Really means.... "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."

"That's women's work." Really means.... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"Will you marry me?" Really means.... "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."

"Go ask your mother." Really means.... "I am incapable of making a decision."

"You know how bad my memory is." Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Football is a man's game." Really means.... "Women are generally too smart to play it."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"I do help around the house." Really means.... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." Really means.... "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it." Really means.... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?" Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"

[wahine]

"What do you mean, you need new clothes?" Really means.... "You just bought new clothes 3 years ago."

"She's one of those rabid feminists." Really means.... "She refused to make my coffee."

"But I hate to go shopping." Really means.... "Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse."

"No, I left plenty of gas in the car." Really means.... "You may actually get it to start."

"I'm going to stop off for a quick one with the guys." Really means.... "I am planning on drinking myself into a vegetative stupor with my chest pounding, mouth breathing, pre-evolutionary companions."

"I heard you." Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You know I could never love anyone else." Really means.... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific." Really means.... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I brought you a present." Really means.... "It was free ice scraper night at the ball game."

"I missed you." Really means.... "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework." Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

"This relationship is getting too serious." Really means.... "I like you more than my truck."

"I recycle." Really means.... "We could pay the rent with the money from my empties."

"Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful." Really means.... "Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"

"It sure snowed last night." Really means.... "I suppose you're going to nag me about shoveling the walk now."

"It's good beer." Really means.... "It was on sale."

"I don't need to read the instructions." Really means.... "I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."

"I'll fix the garbage disposal later." Really means.... "If I wait long enough you'll get frustated and buy a new one."

"I broke up with her." Really means.... "She dumped me."

"I'll take you to a fancy restaurant." Really means.... "Someplace that doesn't have a drive-thru window."
~~~~~~
Thanks Gwai, I saw it on Conan O'Brien. He is one hilarious irishman.

[Khamûl]

Originally posted by wahine
"War never decided who was right, only who was left."- no clue

There is a quote similar to that by Confusious. "War is not always won by who is right, but by who is left." Forgive me if that's not exact, that was from memory.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

That's surprising; considering the almost "punnish" conotations, I would think it was originally in the English language.

[Khamûl]

Well, I say it's by Confusious, but I'm not quite sure. I saw it on a t-shirt one time and the t-shirt credited it to Confusious, so it stuck with me that way.

[Jesus Freak]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by wahine
[B]"I'm going fishing." Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

i got a shirt that says something like thatits called
THE FISHERMANS EXCUSE SHIRT.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

"Long ago, when men beat the ground with sticks and screamed, it was called witchcraft. Today, it is called golf."

[wahine]

lol no no no

"Basketball is a sport for black men;Hockey is a sport for white men; Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps"- tiger woods

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Hey! I used to be really intelligeaunt..........intelliectuant......clever!

Drink is my excuse...........I'm sticking to it

- Everyone's favorite rabbit.

[Troll]

There's nothing to fear but fear itself?

Poe?

[support_your_local_elf]

Originally posted by Troll
Poe?

No, I think it was Franklin Roosevelt. Don't know..