"Temporary" Venting Thread III

[Earniel]

Much thanks for the sympathy, everyone. At times like these, it is very, very much appreciated.

Originally Posted by Nautipus

What store chain are you a part of? Cuz dang...I hope all this frustration ends up being worth it.

It's a Belgian chain with about 50 shops, so I very much doubt if you'd ever heard of it.

Originally Posted by Acalewia

Gheez, Earniel. Sounds like you guys hired the same people we did. You know like they say, if you want it done right, do it yourself

Yeah, funny how that's exactly the phrase we've been saying a lot the last two months. Unfortunately, there's only so much you can do yourself. I may have learned a lot of constructing things myself by now, but I'm by no means capable of doing all the necessary things by myself. But it's kind of frustrating to think that some things you can do better, and cheaper, than these so-called professionals. For instance, we're not asking that painter back, we'll do the final touch-ups ourself. We've got paint and clearly we can do as good, if not better a job at it than he. Also, he keeps spilling paint on our just-cleaned tile-floor. Grrrr...

Looks like I'll have to add another addendum to the horror-story. They hung the facade lighted logo today and -would you believe it- they actually managed to mess up in the design by switching the name and the logo. Un-be-lie-vable. Also the guy from the anti-theft system should have shown up today but didn't. Turns out he's sick and there's no one to replace him. (Funny how that's no surprise to anyone, as that firm recently down-sized quite a bit. ) With massive luck, they'll show up tomorrow. But I'm not banking on it. Eh, it's past one o' clock, I just got home and all these things sounds so incredibly unreal that they're almost amusing.

One more day to go, here's to hoping Saturday's opening will blow this town away. If not, I think I'm really going to sit down and cry...

[Nautipus]

Originally Posted by Eärniel

Much thanks for the sympathy, everyone. At times like these, it is very, very much appreciated.


It's a Belgian chain with about 50 shops, so I very much doubt if you'd ever heard of it.


Yeah, funny how that's exactly the phrase we've been saying a lot the last two months. Unfortunately, there's only so much you can do yourself. I may have learned a lot of constructing things myself by now, but I'm by no means capable of doing all the necessary things by myself. But it's kind of frustrating to think that some things you can do better, and cheaper, than these so-called professionals. For instance, we're not asking that painter back, we'll do the final touch-ups ourself. We've got paint and clearly we can do as good, if not better a job at it than he. Also, he keeps spilling paint on our just-cleaned tile-floor. Grrrr...

Looks like I'll have to add another addendum to the horror-story. They hung the facade lighted logo today and -would you believe it- they actually managed to mess up in the design by switching the name and the logo. Un-be-lie-vable. Also the guy from the anti-theft system should have shown up today but didn't. Turns out he's sick and there's no one to replace him. (Funny how that's no surprise to anyone, as that firm recently down-sized quite a bit. ) With massive luck, they'll show up tomorrow. But I'm not banking on it. Eh, it's past one o' clock, I just got home and all these things sounds so incredibly unreal that they're almost amusing.

One more day to go, here's to hoping Saturday's opening will blow this town away. If not, I think I'm really going to sit down and cry...

I really hope everything works out for you...seriously. Here's my support.
*throws support to Earniel*
Hope it helps. Seriously, I hope you can get this done and get some rest and maybe some payoff for all your hard work.

[Ingwe]

I don't usually let my rants known, so all I can say is that life really stinks right now. It makes me wish that I was mortal and only had a few more months of this to go. Only thing that's keeping me going at all right now is my best friend and my girlfriend and that's about it. I had a dream last night, one I've never had before, about intentionally falling on my own sword and ending it. In the dream, I remember that I actually felt relieved. Right now I would like to face Morgoth in hand-to-hand combat, along with 7 Balrogs. Of course, given the state of mind (and soul) I'm in right now, I might end up joining them, not fighting them. I'm usually the one to be giving advice about these kind of things, and now I'm at a loss. All I can say is that if you don't feel as bad as me, then there's hope. If you do feel as bad as I do, take the advice that I didn't take from myself: get out of that state of mind in a hurry. Holding on to grief this heavy for over 7 years feels like what one would imagine a mortal wound to feel like. It's the only thing I haven't been able to get past. Some wounds don't heal with time, for sometimes they fester and get worse. I understand for once how the others felt when they began to tire of this world and fade away.

I'm thinking of moving from where I live now. And I don't mean to return here after I get out of here. This area of the world is more like living on a starship than living on what I consider to be a planet. Anyplace where nature takes precedence over civilization will be good. This area has a big dark cloud over it all the time to me, even when the sun is shining. This place carries the memory of someone I lost to an accident 7 years ago. And of course now I feel guilty because my current girlfriend who I've been with for 6 years has always been there for me and I always try to keep my mouth shut when I think about the incident 7 years ago. I feel guilty because the one I lost was one whom I was also in love with, and it's hard for the memory to pass. This place carries that memory, and there's no getting away from it unless I leave my friends and go elsewhere. But that's another conflict. These people here are my friends, and though I don't want to leave them, at the same time I can't stay. I have to get as far away as possible. There's always the technological frontier (websites, MSN, and teamspeak) to utilize, so it won't be like leaving for good. That's why online communities like this are a release for me, they take me away from the troubles of this world and allow me to remember a time where hope was in greater abundance. I'm getting married sometime next year and I want to be able to have a life that's free of this place. She suggested moving westwards toward Colorado, in the mountains somewhere and I think that was a good suggestion. But until then, my state of mind will be just as grieved as it is now. Sleeping once every 48 hours definitely isn't good for anyone, whether they're mortal or otherwise. I just cannot find a way to fall asleep normally, even after the work (and play) is over with.

[Acalewia]

*Gives Ingwe the biggest Moothug she can muster*

I'm not an expert in these things and I'm not going to say I know how you feel cause I don't. You're right, some wounds never heal, but if you hold on to them they will fester and get worse. I don't know what happened 7 years ago and its not my place to ask. Moving might be a temperary releif from the pain, but eventually you'll think of the friends you left behind and the memory will come and the pain start again. I'm not sure what you could do to ease the pain. I'm really not sure if there is a way. I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear.

I have found if you dwell on something, you'll lose a piece of yourself and eventually you'll just be a shell of who you were. I don't know you very well, but I damn sure don't want that to happen to you.

[Ingwe]

Originally Posted by Acalewia

*Gives Ingwe the biggest Moothug she can muster*

I'm not an expert in these things and I'm not going to say I know how you feel cause I don't. You're right, some wounds never heal, but if you hold on to them they will fester and get worse. I don't know what happened 7 years ago and its not my place to ask. Moving might be a temperary releif from the pain, but eventually you'll think of the friends you left behind and the memory will come and the pain start again. I'm not sure what you could do to ease the pain. I'm really not sure if there is a way. I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear.

I have found if you dwell on something, you'll lose a piece of yourself and eventually you'll just be a shell of who you were. I don't know you very well, but I damn sure don't want that to happen to you.

Thanks Acalewia, * hugs back *, that is basically what I'll have to find out how to deal with. After Frodo was stabbed on weathertop, after possessing the ring, after being jabbed by Shelob, and after being exposed to the toxins of Mount Doom, things weren't quite the same for him anymore. Fortunately he was allowed to leave the mortal lands. If at the end of this age in the unlikely event I'm allowed to go as well, I will, and the misery might be left behind, but I don't imagine how I would ever forget what happened, even after 10 ages had passed.

I think for the most part I just have to learn to forget some things, or at least some aspects about it.

What happened is my girlfriend was hit by a drunk driver and passed away as a result of the accident, in May of 2000. We were going to be married that August. Before that I was secure with how things were, and accepted the world the way it was. Afterwards I fell apart. I've been trying to put myself back together since. Amy, my current girlfriend, told me that I probably will never be the same as I was before that again. I was surprised by that, because it wasn't what I wanted to hear, but she added that I have to adapt to things like that. I can heal quickly from anything else, but things like this I instead have to adapt to. It's the only choice.

I definitely don't want to become a shell of what I was LoL. That'd be something I'll try to stay away from becoming.

[Mari]

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

*uses blow dryer to dry Mari's attitude*

Does that help?

Thanks, but perhaps you'd better aim at my jeans next time, they are usually wetter than my attitude

[Valandil]

Originally Posted by Ingwe

:
:
What happened is my girlfriend was hit by a drunk driver and passed away as a result of the accident, in May of 2000. We were going to be married that August. Before that I was secure with how things were, and accepted the world the way it was. Afterwards I fell apart. I've been trying to put myself back together since. Amy, my current girlfriend, told me that I probably will never be the same as I was before that again. I was surprised by that, because it wasn't what I wanted to hear, but she added that I have to adapt to things like that. I can heal quickly from anything else, but things like this I instead have to adapt to. It's the only choice.

I definitely don't want to become a shell of what I was LoL. That'd be something I'll try to stay away from becoming.

Ingwe - your current girlfriend is either very insightful - or very well-informed. Many people in her situation would (somewhat selfishly, but it's only natural, and not selfish intentionally) just expect you to "get over it" - especially since THEY are now in the picture (it's sort of a more "innocent" selfishness, if such a thing exists - maybe more naive than selfish even). However - for you to ever get to the point that everything was exactly as before would mean - that what you had before really was not that important to you, or that it had ceased to be important over time.

This does not mean that you would have to become a shell of yourself. Some do, perhaps. But grieving is a process - and a very profound one. It brings up many questions that need to be answered. It will inevitably cause change. I suppose those who become "shells" of themselves either arrive at some wrong answers - or maybe become so overwhelmed with the questions that they never seek the answers (and sometimes maybe - there just IS no answer - and maybe an inability to accept this is hazardous as well). The changes you endure may even make you a better person - but you will be different. Nor will you necessarily "arrive" - some of the change may be very gradual and continual for a very long time.

Not to trivialize your grief, but it is also very common to human experience. That does not make it any less profound, nor does it mean that each of us experiences these things the same way. Many have lost a fiance - or else a spouse, or a sibling, or a child. Always so tragic when it comes at a young age.

I don't know that I can give you a winning formula. From my perspective - my faith in God helps immensely. It's hard to get outside of myself enough to know how best to deal with these things otherwise.

I will recommend a book though, if you'd like to try it: A Grief Observed by CS Lewis - one of JRR Tolkien's buddies, of course.

Best wishes then.

And... as Gandalf (and later, Gildor) advised Frodo when he planned to leave the Shire - 'you need not go alone, take such friends as you can trust'. The friends around you can may be your biggest help.

[Ingwe]

Aye, the people around me and here are among the wisest people I know of.

I don't feel like that all the time. In fact, the last couple of days was the first that I felt like that in a while. Finally got to sleep again. It's just been a stressful week I think. These feelings pass with time, though they pop up again every now and then.

I'll check into the book you mentioned. Thank you.

[Jonathan]

Originally Posted by BeardofPants

I just returned from a 2 day sailing trip around Auckland harbour...

Wow BoP. I guess working together to look after ones passed-out puke-drenched colleague is also some kind team building. Kudos to Bill and the two females!

On a side note, the word "pants" appeared six times in your post. That's a vent from BoP alright.

[Tessar]

So, I didn't drink any water yesterday except for one cup in the morning, then I had a big ol' soda with lunch, had two sodas in the evening, got up this morning and grabbed a soda to help me wake up (I usually just drink water, but I was dragging), and then I needed an extra jolt to stay awake for diction, so I got coffee with a friend. Usually I might have three sodas in a week.

Then I tried to do my vocalizes at 1 p.m., after still not drinking any water (it just... didn't occur to me), and OMG. I ate dirt in a major way. Thank God it's not Tuesday or Thursday (voice lesson days), because I SUCKED. Big time. I left with my throat feeling raw after only about 30 minutes of singing.

I finally realized what was going on after I left the practice room and stopped at a water fountain... and thought to myself, "WOW, I am so thirsty... why is that?"

I also called Jack 'Jeremy', then called Jeremy 'Jack', I realized at the last second that I had completely forgotten to do a piece of my diction homework and barely got it done, and then almost fell down the stairs because I was so busy mentally kicking myself for not drinking water.

ARGH.

*sigh* Not a good day so far.

[Mari]

I left my room in sunny and warm Leiden to go to my parents where it rains and where it is cold. Byebye sun!

[Rosie Gamgee]

STUPID HISTORY CHANNEL!!!!!!! I cannot STAND this stupid program that is playing right now!! How do these puny little humans, on a teeny little hunk of planet in a rediculously small solar system, in a belittlingly small galaxy in all the wide universe, think that they can tell you how the universe began???? How great do we think we are, that we can measure the universe out in lightyears? We aren't anything in the scope of all that exists, and for some reason we think we can explain existence. And it's funny, because the best we can come up with sounds like this: There was a Big Bang. If that doesn't sound like something out of Dr. Seuss..... And then they proceed to recount to you the temperature of the universe just after said 'Bang'. How the FRIGHT do they know?? The truth is, they don't!!
I quote:

'Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:

"Who is this that darkens my counsel
with words without knowledge?

Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.

Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?

On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone-

while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?

"Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,

when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,

when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,

when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt'?

"Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,

that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?

The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.

The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.

"Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?

Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death ?

Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.

"What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?

Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?

Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!"'

~Job 38: 1-20

[Nautipus]

Originally Posted by Rosie Gamgee

STUPID HISTORY CHANNEL!!!!!!! I cannot STAND this stupid program that is playing right now!! How do these puny little humans, on a teeny little hunk of planet in a rediculously small solar system, in a belittlingly small galaxy in all the wide universe, think that they can tell you how the universe began???? How great do we think we are, that we can measure the universe out in lightyears? We aren't anything in the scope of all that exists, and for some reason we think we can explain existence. And it's funny, because the best we can come up with sounds like this: There was a Big Bang. If that doesn't sound like something out of Dr. Seuss..... And then they proceed to recount to you the temperature of the universe just after said 'Bang'. How the FRIGHT do they know?? The truth is, they don't!!
I quote:

'Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:

"Who is this that darkens my counsel
with words without knowledge?

Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.

Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?

On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone-

while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?

"Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,

when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,

when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,

when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt'?

"Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,

that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?

The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.

The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.

"Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?

Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death ?

Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.

"What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?

Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?

Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!"'

~Job 38: 1-20

I feel ya!

There was a show on there one time and it explained the universe's conception like so:

There wasnt anything, nothing at all. And all the nothingness was pulled into the center of nothing, and all the nothing caused alot of friction, and then the nothing exploded, and there was matter.

I swear, that's as close as I could get, it's been almost a year but that is almost exactly how it was phrased.

These "scientists" are so biased that they'll come up with just about anything to explain God away.
A girl at my old highschool said it this way:

There was nothing at all in space. Then two comets collided and caused a huge explosion that created everything.

Where did the comets come from? Big Bang theory is so retarded.

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Originally Posted by Rosie Gamgee

STUPID HISTORY CHANNEL!!!!!!! I cannot STAND this stupid program that is playing right now!! How do these puny little humans, on a teeny little hunk of planet in a rediculously small solar system, in a belittlingly small galaxy in all the wide universe, think that they can tell you how the universe began???? How great do we think we are, that we can measure the universe out in lightyears? We aren't anything in the scope of all that exists, and for some reason we think we can explain existence. And it's funny, because the best we can come up with sounds like this: There was a Big Bang. If that doesn't sound like something out of Dr. Seuss..... And then they proceed to recount to you the temperature of the universe just after said 'Bang'. How the FRIGHT do they know?? The truth is, they don't!!
I quote:

'Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:

"Who is this that darkens my counsel
with words without knowledge?

Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.

Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?

On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone-

while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?

"Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,

when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,

when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,

when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt'?

"Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,

that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?

The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.

The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.

"Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?

Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death ?

Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.

"What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?

Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?

Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!"'

~Job 38: 1-20

If you don't like history, stick with fiction.

But those "puny humans" you're talking about are supposed to be the lambs of God, the apple of His eye, the one's He's watching more carefully than a sparrow. If we're important to Him, wouldn't that be similar to being important?

People have all different ways to "explain existence." Probably none of them are even close, but it's what humans do. Why would that annoy anyone?

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Originally Posted by Nautipus

I feel ya!

There was a show on there one time and it explained the universe's conception like so:

There wasnt anything, nothing at all. And all the nothingness was pulled into the center of nothing, and all the nothing caused alot of friction, and then the nothing exploded, and there was matter.

I swear, that's as close as I could get, it's been almost a year but that is almost exactly how it was phrased.

These "scientists" are so biased that they'll come up with just about anything to explain God away.
A girl at my old highschool said it this way:

There was nothing at all in space. Then two comets collided and caused a huge explosion that created everything.

Where did the comets come from? Big Bang theory is so retarded.

You plan to be a scientist? Too bad.

[Nautipus]

What's that supposed to mean? You know there's more than one way to look at a topic, it's not just yours. You want to take personal attacks, then get offline, it's not my problem what you think. You dont see me ruuning up your tailpipe at everything you say do you? Besides, I'm not saying I'm an expert on Big Bang or any other branch of physics, I'm a biologist, that's my field, so go stick the rhetoric up somebody elses nose.

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Originally Posted by Nautipus

What's that supposed to mean? You know there's more than one way to look at a topic, it's not just yours. You want to take personal attacks, then get offline, it's not my problem what you think. You dont see me ruuning up your tailpipe at everything you say do you? Besides, I'm not saying I'm an expert on Big Bang or any other branch of physics, I'm a biologist, that's my field, so go stick the rhetoric up somebody elses nose.

Personal attack? You said, "Big Bang theory is so retarded." I think it's a shame that anyone who wants to be a scientist can be so cavalier about evidence for a theory in a field that you now say you know nothing about. Good science involves drawing conclusions after having information, not before. Unless you understand and respect the basis of science, which includes the fact that theory EXCLUDES absolute certainty, but works with evidence, I don't care how much biology you learn, it'll never add up to "science."

I think that's too bad. I like science, and scientific thinking.

[Nautipus]

All I know about Big Bang is what I've been told, and it doesnt hold much water with me. Big Bang, by definition, cant really be a theory anyway. Theory, by definition, is a mathematical or logical explanation, or a model that represents interaction with natural phenomenon. How can man interact with something that is long past? The hypotheses stated in my reply to Rosie are what I've been told about Big Bang, and if you have some evidence of it, or any other universal conception theory, feel free to post it and give me the means to appraoch this in a scientific manner. I dont beleive in it. I have looked at the evidence at hand and decided that it doesnt prove a thing. THAT is scientific thinking, looking at what we have, not what we could have, and going from there. If I came off as some lay jerk who makes assuptions then I'm sorry, I didnt mean to start a debat, this is just my opinion on the subject. That's all it is, an opinion on a certain topic, a hypothesis. That's all.

I'd be happy to discuss this topic with you, you say you like scientific thinking? Neat. Let's discuss it in a scientific manner. If you know more about physics than me, neat again, so let's talk.

[Tuinor]

Pledging is hard.

Just thought I'd change the subject, since the poo is about to fly.

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Originally Posted by Tuinor

Pledging is hard.

Good. No fun if it isn't difficult. Local or national frat? How far along are you... any chance you'll get some sleep or stop yelling, "THANK YOU, SIR!" anytime soon?