04-15-2004, 10:32 AM | #141 |
The Lovely Hobbit-Lass
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Thanks!
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It's New Years Day, just like the day before; Same old skies of grey, same empty bottles on the floor. Another year's gone by, and I was thinking once again, How can I take this losing hand and somehow win? Just give me One Good Year To get my feet back on the ground. I've been chasing grace; Grace ain't so easily found One bad hand can devil a man, chase him and carry him down. I've got to get out of here, just give me One Good Year! |
04-16-2004, 10:23 AM | #142 |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
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Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
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Another poem
Here's another poem by yours truly.
Seeking feedback. Thank you! My Wish For You by Beruthiel's cat My wish for you is simple – love. Love to fill the morning with promise, the afternoon with anticipation, the evening with tenderness. Love as comfortable as an old easy chair – the way it was before we broke into cutting shards and lonely pieces. Off-kilter, odd lives, starting again with false stops and jolts. You – in the company of old friends. Tasting bitter, finding sweet among tangled weeds of doubt – of pain realized and released. I – in the confusion of new. Winning confidence, losing respect – Seeking another freedom, another bond – more or less than there was before. Be happy now that someone has touched you. (I never could.)
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
04-19-2004, 10:34 PM | #143 |
Thief Queen of Entmoot
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i luv it! especially the line about "love as comfy as an old easy chair"- that's the best line. the only thing i see that might be a hinderance are the line breaks (but don't worry, everyone has line-break problems- i know i suck at them other than that, it's great, BC!
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*smooch* Proud Member of the Evil Mooters and upstanding citizen of the Planet Bob! And all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be... My Space! Cynicism is what happens when a person opens their eyes; stops blinking in the sun, and starts wondering "why". Question everything, believe only that which you yourself deem true. Go ahead- Call me cynical. |
04-20-2004, 08:49 AM | #144 |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
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Thank you for the comments. I appreciate them.
Because of the cut-and-paste method I used for posting the poem, the line breaks are kind of funky. But as long as you get the message, it doesn't matter much. Glad you liked it!!
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
04-23-2004, 12:37 PM | #145 |
Elven Warrior
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Poet's inn
Hi and wellcome to poet's inn, I made this place to be somewhere where people can share poetry and also give comments, I'll start off with one of my own and I would like to have other people fallow up with coments or even another poem:
The Lement of Darkness Within the darkness inside myself I hide Within no one do I confide no one knows the true me I hide it, so no one will see I wish to show, Someone who would understand and would know But for now I'll never tell For now no one will know my hell No one will know why I burn inside No one will know why I hide For now I will fight this world alone For now I am on my own Fighting within myself to find My own piece of mind Trying not to drown Before I am found Trying to keep my head above the water Trying to take each day one after the other Within the darkness I conceal All the wounds that will never heal Wounds within my heart That could tare me apart Wounds within my soul Wounds that will make me lose control... It's not done yet but I wanted someone to look it over for me, CYA Peoples, keep posting
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Crazy I was crazy once they put me in this little room Rats! Rats! I hate Rats! They drive me crazy! *devak laughs crazily* Blue: Oh boy, She's cracked, She's gone nuts, Devak, Devak get a grip. *Devak grabs blue by the throat* Blue: Good grip Duh! I've got markers!!!! :P |
04-23-2004, 03:49 PM | #146 |
Elf Lord
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I do believe there is already a thread like this somewhere in this forum...I'm going to go bump it.
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“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell |
04-28-2004, 03:41 PM | #147 |
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OK, I just wrote a poem in English. I've written a lot in Swedish, but I thought I'd try. I'd love to hear what you think - don't be gentle with me!
You pulled me out of the window and you loved me but only as a friend. That's what you always told me; you knew me long before I did. The long summer evenings when you showed me the world a world I had only dreamed of. And it all comes back to me; you knew what I dreamt of long before I did. But also the pain and the anger are a part of this life. A wound deeper than my heart. That's what you gave me; you knew how to hurt me long before I did.
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"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. " - C. Sagan My (photography) website My Flickr page |
04-28-2004, 03:41 PM | #148 |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
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Hey there!!
I actually wrote a poem using rhyme and meter!!! I was fooling around, and this is what came about. Let me know what you think...thanks!! Untitled by Beruthiel's cat The colors of my life are found Outside of tidy lines. The book to keep them neatly bound Can never be defined. The hues are mostly garish, Then they fade to muddy browns As happinesses perish And then trickle to the ground. There are wide and empty spaces Where some blues and greens should be -- Incomplete and partial faces Of imperfect memory. Tied to the shadow and delight As patterns form in visions; Chaotic patterns taking flight -- Results of bad decisions. Do other peoples' color books Keep neatly in the lines Without the scrawls and scowling looks Elicited by mine?
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... Last edited by Beruthiel's cat : 04-28-2004 at 03:44 PM. |
04-28-2004, 03:54 PM | #149 | |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
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Quote:
The poem is heartfelt and sincere and evokes an emotional response in the reader, which is, I'm sure, what you intended. You use repetitive stanzas effectively to make your response. And please don't be afraid or intimidated by writing in English. You have done a wonderful job and should be very proud of your effort!!
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
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04-28-2004, 04:16 PM | #150 | |
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Quote:
I just loved your poem. It was not only very beautiful and deep, it also felt very good to read it out loud because of the rhyme and meter. You really write a lot of good poems. I've read all of those you've posted here, but I haven't really told you what I think. You're talanted. I hope you keep posting here!
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04-29-2004, 03:54 PM | #151 |
Thief Queen of Entmoot
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those are both really good poems! nerdanel, i love the repeating lines and beruthiel, rhyming is something not seen often in this thread (i know i don't write many rhyming poems); it's nice to see a rhymer once and a while
hey! guess what? i entered my poem "permanence" in a poetry contest, and i made it to one of the top three spots! i find out tonight at the reading whether or not i won, so i'll post the results later
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*smooch* Proud Member of the Evil Mooters and upstanding citizen of the Planet Bob! And all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be... My Space! Cynicism is what happens when a person opens their eyes; stops blinking in the sun, and starts wondering "why". Question everything, believe only that which you yourself deem true. Go ahead- Call me cynical. |
04-29-2004, 04:21 PM | #152 | |
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Wow! Congrats!! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.. But making it to the top 3 is really good!
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"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. " - C. Sagan My (photography) website My Flickr page |
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05-01-2004, 09:39 AM | #153 | |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
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Quote:
Please let us know how you do in the standings. Congratulations!!!
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
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05-03-2004, 12:56 PM | #154 |
Elven Warrior
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*rolls eyes* I haven't been on and I had wrote some poems. I decided to put them up on moot, So what if someone has a thread like mine as they say "great minds think alike..." If someone already has a thread like this, It happens once and a while, There must have been millions of these kind of threads since the start of entmoot but hevan forbin if I happen to post one... (sorry lots and lots of anger.... LOL) I hate it when someone has nothing better to do than tell you when something you have posted was done before or is wrong... It's not like I stole someones work and called it my own... Plagerism(sp) I just started this so people could give me some feed back on my poems... (thank you for listening to this brodcast Stayed tuned for some new poems, To be posted in a few days)
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Crazy I was crazy once they put me in this little room Rats! Rats! I hate Rats! They drive me crazy! *devak laughs crazily* Blue: Oh boy, She's cracked, She's gone nuts, Devak, Devak get a grip. *Devak grabs blue by the throat* Blue: Good grip Duh! I've got markers!!!! :P |
05-03-2004, 01:04 PM | #155 |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
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I don't think it was anyone's intention to slight you, but rather to inform you. I was told the same thing when I tried to post a new thread with a poem. It's easier to keep track of similar things if they are posted together, hence the thread where most poems are posted, the "Some Poems" thread.
I'm looking forward to seeing more of your poetry, so please post again!
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
05-03-2004, 02:20 PM | #156 | |
Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001
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Quote:
Star in no way slighted you. She simply let you know that there is another place to put your poems. Why? Because if everyone made a new thread for poems, there wouldn't be anything but 'my new poem!' threads on this board, as almost all of us write poetry and then post it. Don't get so upset. |
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05-03-2004, 02:44 PM | #157 |
The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
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Merged "Some poems" with the "Poet's Inn".
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05-07-2004, 03:52 PM | #158 |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
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Here is my latest. It is autobiographical. It's how things were when I was a kid of about 10 or so...a very long time ago. (Pretend you are reading something of an historical nature... )
In Those Summers by Beruthiel's cat In those summers when grass was sharp on bare soles, and sidewalks radiated rough heat, I would lay on the green carpet and watch the clouds paint pictures. In those summers when the school stood empty waiting for September, I would wait, too, for the Summer Weekly Reader to devour cover-to-cover in the hot dimness of a horse blanket tented on the clothesline. In those summers when the bells clanged two streets over, I would run inside and dig through couch cushions for a dime to buy a 7-up popsicle from Ken’s white truck and Willie the mailman whistled his deliveries down Stapleton Street. In those summers when life was measured by the sighs of cicadas, I stood full, waiting for September. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please let me know what you think. Thanks!
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"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... Last edited by Beruthiel's cat : 05-07-2004 at 03:55 PM. |
05-13-2004, 11:03 AM | #159 |
The Lovely Hobbit-Lass
Join Date: Jun 2003
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Very evocative! Cool!
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It's New Years Day, just like the day before; Same old skies of grey, same empty bottles on the floor. Another year's gone by, and I was thinking once again, How can I take this losing hand and somehow win? Just give me One Good Year To get my feet back on the ground. I've been chasing grace; Grace ain't so easily found One bad hand can devil a man, chase him and carry him down. I've got to get out of here, just give me One Good Year! |
05-14-2004, 06:05 PM | #160 |
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I like your poem very much, Beruthiel's Cat! It really reminds me of my childhood summers.. *starts dreaming*
I've written my second poem in English! I just wrote it down, and I haven't really had time to think it through. But here it is anyway: I see my hands shake I feel my lungs cry: >If this is what they wanted >a body made exhausted >by lack of fuel and loss of energy >then I only had a pathetic vision >and deserve this fate. Only black energy left. And the last and only thought crosses my earlier so crowded mind: >there has to be a reason >why too much pain >suddenly can turn into >a gentle feeling of nothing. No pain.
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"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. " - C. Sagan My (photography) website My Flickr page Last edited by Nerdanel : 05-17-2004 at 09:49 AM. |
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