What DO women really want?

[Ararax]

also some people believe you have a perfect soul mate in life, but what then if you do somethingbad or die early does that mean that this person who was to be your soul mate now cant marry anyone, i think it just dosnt work

[afro-elf]

Nope. When you sleep with someone you violate your commitment to your future spouse.

wow something we disagree on

I think that is jsut the most emince quantity of masculine bovine defication i've heard since OJ not being guilty

BUT youre still in my tome


Love and lust are evolutionary developments to keep the species going

the bio-chem involved are oxytocin, vasopressin, phenelonolene (sp?)

they tend to last about 3 years. the same age a child can BEGIN to fend for itself in some ways

I think the idea of a SOUL MATE is quite unrealistic. just a idea that has perpetuated itself. and now makes things harder becames it buts an unrealistic expecttion on relationships and must people are unhappy.

many people blame society for divorce I blame hollywood.

[Ararax]

obviously you cant say if someone has a bad relation ship and screws up at 16 that they are evil or something, thats life and messing up ive messed up in other ways and guess what thats life all one can do is try try again

[crickhollow]

Well, I suppose that if Nibs and Wayfarer haven't convinced y'all of the importance of keeping sex within the boundaries of marriage, then there's no sense in me reiterating their points.

What? a-e, think about the complications of that statement.

Love and lust are evolutionary developments to keep the species going

A serial rapist might use that argument in court. "Your honor, the defendent wishes to inform that court that this was not a matter of control, violence, or anger. The defendent was merely acting on his natural desire to reproduce."

Yeah, I know that it's crazy, and no sane jury would buy it. I am only taking your argument one step further in an effort to help you be consistent. If one would argue the first, one could very well argue the second.

Well, I've thrown my cherry bomb, time to sit back and watch the smoke.

[crickhollow]

FF: There is nothing wrong with sex.
crick: agreed.
FF: It is not shameful--
crick: also agreed.
FF: and it doesn't always imply emotional attachment either. It's biological as well as emotional.
crick: HOLD THE PHONE!!!
I defy you to find one instance where emotions are separated from biological impulses in regards to sex (except for perhaps prostitute and client).

[afro-elf]

What? a-e, think about the complications of that statement.

just because someone is not " guilty" via biology doesn't mean the that he should be set free.

the person is still dangerous.

you don't blame crazy people for being crazy but we still get them outta society

I defy you to find one instance where emotions are separated from biological impulses in regards to sex (except for perhaps prostitute and client).

what about porno stars

[Arathorn]

Originally posted by Wayfarer
Nope. When you sleep with someone you violate your commitment to your future spouse.

I thought that the commitment to one's spouse starts right after the vows are taken. Before taking them, just be honest with each other and make sure it is clear whether both of you had other partners.

Personally speaking, I think that the pleasure of sex, as already stated, was created so that propagation of the species wouldn't be a chore and be one of those things that come naturally. It is a good thing. However, because it is so intimate, there is a wide range of beliefs about whether to do it, when to do it, who to do it with, and how many partners to do it with.
As already mentioned, there are many risks involved. I think it is up to you to weigh those risks. Also, being part of a society you should be prepared to take responsibility for any consequences that may happen as a result of those risks. If you are young and don't make your own living yet, the stakes are higher for you and your family and therefore it is more adviseable not to do it.

About the rapist argument, since sex involves another party, it has to have consent of that party and rape is sex without consent of the other and therefore the reason why rape is a crime.

[FrodoFriend]

Originally posted by crickhollow
I defy you to find one instance where emotions are separated from biological impulses in regards to sex (except for perhaps prostitute and client).

One-night stands. Boyfriends who only use their girlfriends for sex. Girlfriends who only use their boyfriends for sex. Teens who have sex to rebel against their parents.

There's four.

[mirrille]

Yah!
One guy that claimed that he loved me dumped me b/c I refused to sleep with him.
Good riddance! After that, I was more than happy to let him go, although I sure felt manipulated.

There's my personal example.

Sex before marriage? Yeah fine. Just not for me. After all, what is marriage but a sign of commitment? I think it's not unreasonable to expect some level of commitment to and from your partner before doing the deed, if only for your mutual protection. (we all know how having multiple sex partners significantly increases the risk of STDs, not to mention that having kids takes alot of work from both parents). However, I respect that the level of commitment expected will vary from individual to individual. That's fair enough, as I see it.

Wow! See how fast the thread grows as soon as someone mentions the "s" word?

[Rána Eressëa]

Okay, personally: this seems very ridiculous. It's another one of those ends-the-same-way-it-begins arguments. If anything, just state what you believe and let's leave it there without arguing. I know that some people are against it, but it does not bother me. If someone wants to have sex, it's their choice to make. I'll do what I do, and you'll do what you do, and so on and so forth. Everyone has their own answer for the question.

Humans are obviously not a mate for life species: I think that has been made pretty clear. But if you wish to be like that, then by all means it is your choice.

[Arathorn]

Boyfriends who only use their girlfriends for sex. Girlfriends who only use their boyfriends for sex.

That's digusting! Those pimps!

[Darth Tater]

I think we can classify the folks in this thread in four categories:
1. Younger people who's world views have been shaped by extremists.
2. Younger people who are more accepting, and hold out a lot of hope for the future.
3. Older people with positive memories/experiances of love.
4. Older people who are jaded.
You figure out where I put everyone

[Ararax]

so many girls i either hung out with or dated, had a boyfriend who pressured them for sex, some gave in some didnt, the ones that didnt got dumped the ones that did usually got dumped to but they all were extremly sceptical about love and realtionships after that yet who can blame them we base some of our logic on experinces, and if thats all we have seen then thats what we expect. seriously i went out with this one girl who was like hot/cold like after 2 months i was like forget this, i found out she had been really hurt and manipulated by her ex b/f, and i felt like **** afterwards, cause i should have been more understanding, so never judge anyone cause you never know

[Kyote Fields]

As for me, I had a girlfriend whom I loved very much. We had many many great memories in the 6 months we went out. Then one day I said that we should take our commitment to the next level (basically a "grown-up" version of "Do you want to go steady?") She said no because she couldn't marry me since I wasn't a virgin. I was crushed and devistated. I bawled the whole rest of the day and from that day on our relationship was not the same. We lost touch two weeks later.
On the other hand, I wish I would have waited so that I could have that to give to my wife. Oh well.

I can't wait till polygamy comes back in style.

Also, no one's answered my question.

[Ararax]

what question?
and man that sucks

[Pailan]

What do women want?

That really depends on the woman at hand. Some may want the a quiet walk on the beach while others want the excitement of an all night rave.

But overall my expirences share these things in common.
women are not so nearly driven by looks as are men. Women like men who are confident but not full of themselves. They like men who listen... I mean really hear them, who can pay attention to the little things. Women desire to be desired but not just a sex toy to be called upon at need (and that works both ways.) If a man can't balance this or appear to be capable of it most women will have very little to do with you. (It's a bit short but that covers most of it.)

Now this bit is to guys who seem to be trapped in the all the women I know want to be my friend and that's it... I still have many women friends and they are great to be around. When I was single, I didn't think anything would happen with any of them. By just hanging with them I paid attention to what made them happy/sad/angry and all. And by being a real friend, I was introduced to their girl friends and after a while I developed a very fun social life. And I would discuss my relationships with my women friends and they would help me out in a jam. A side benifit to having women friends is that you are never short of having a socially acceptable companion for social occasions. Weddings, Award dinners, fundraisers that sort of thing. And the best part is that you are seen in public with an attractive women and that get's the attention of other women, fast. Works like a charm. But it requires devloping real friendships.

Well I hope this helps. Perhaps I should write an advice thread for the 'moot

[Nibs]

Originally posted by afro-elf
many people blame society for divorce I blame hollywood.

I blame pride, selfishness, and enmity.

[Ararax]

hmm interesting

[crickhollow]

One-night stands. Boyfriends who only use their girlfriends for sex. Girlfriends who only use their boyfriends for sex. Teens who have sex to rebel against their parents.

1. One-night stands involve emotions.
2.Boyfriends who use their girlfriends. The boyfriends may be using, but there still may be emotions on the girl's side.
3. Girlfriends who use their boyfriends. ditto.
4. Rebellion. It would be interesting to find a statistic that tells how many teens come together as mature minors, fully aware of what they are doing, to have sex purely as a spite to their parents, with no feelings or emotions toward the other of any kind.

[Kyote Fields]

My question, Ararax about the When Harry met Sally syndrome. Can guys and girls be friends without sex getting in the way. According to Palin, I guess it can. And Ararax, when you say "Man that sucks" do you mean "Man what happened to you sucks" or "Man that opinion sucks." Tone is key to that phrase.