03-08-2004, 04:49 PM | #121 | |
Enting
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: US of A
Posts: 69
|
Quote:
Thanks! I'll work on, it, those were some good suggestions. Katie |
|
03-08-2004, 10:55 PM | #122 |
Thief Queen of Entmoot
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: oh, I just wander around, aimlessly...
Posts: 1,060
|
no prob!
this one i wrote the other day; it seems like it might need something , but i can't put my finger on it... I'm Gonna Shine My light is going to shine for all to see. An outward sign of my sheer will, it will serve as a guidance and warning to everyone who sees it. The brilliance of this Beacon wiil at once comfort and frighten, as its radience streams from my eyes. My gaze will strike terror, and yet guide the hearts of those for miles around. This White Power will be terrible and wondrous, and I will be shunned- left alone in my glory.
__________________
*smooch* Proud Member of the Evil Mooters and upstanding citizen of the Planet Bob! And all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be... My Space! Cynicism is what happens when a person opens their eyes; stops blinking in the sun, and starts wondering "why". Question everything, believe only that which you yourself deem true. Go ahead- Call me cynical. Last edited by Lady Ravyn : 03-09-2004 at 11:00 PM. |
03-09-2004, 06:12 PM | #123 |
Enting
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: US of A
Posts: 69
|
I like that a lot, except the first line. "This little light of mine." As soon as I read it I thought of that song..."This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine" and I think it sort of set the mood for the rest of the poem the wrong way. Besides that though, it was a beautiful poem. Most of the time when I read poems, they seem...quiet. But yours wasn't, it was very strong. Good job!
Katie |
03-09-2004, 08:06 PM | #124 |
The Lovely Hobbit-Lass
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Bounded in a nut-shell
Posts: 1,593
|
Nice poems! Very evocative. Cool!
__________________
It's New Years Day, just like the day before; Same old skies of grey, same empty bottles on the floor. Another year's gone by, and I was thinking once again, How can I take this losing hand and somehow win? Just give me One Good Year To get my feet back on the ground. I've been chasing grace; Grace ain't so easily found One bad hand can devil a man, chase him and carry him down. I've got to get out of here, just give me One Good Year! |
03-09-2004, 11:02 PM | #125 | |
Thief Queen of Entmoot
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: oh, I just wander around, aimlessly...
Posts: 1,060
|
Quote:
__________________
*smooch* Proud Member of the Evil Mooters and upstanding citizen of the Planet Bob! And all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be... My Space! Cynicism is what happens when a person opens their eyes; stops blinking in the sun, and starts wondering "why". Question everything, believe only that which you yourself deem true. Go ahead- Call me cynical. |
|
03-10-2004, 05:10 PM | #126 |
Enting
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: US of A
Posts: 69
|
No problem. I really like the poem in your sig though (We are the music makers)...did you write it?
Katie |
03-12-2004, 07:59 PM | #127 |
Thief Queen of Entmoot
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: oh, I just wander around, aimlessly...
Posts: 1,060
|
ha! i wish i wrote that well! lol
no, it's called "ode (we are the music makers)" and it's by arthur edgar william o'shaughnessy; it's one of my favorites! (that and "i'm nobody" by emily dickinson)
__________________
*smooch* Proud Member of the Evil Mooters and upstanding citizen of the Planet Bob! And all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be... My Space! Cynicism is what happens when a person opens their eyes; stops blinking in the sun, and starts wondering "why". Question everything, believe only that which you yourself deem true. Go ahead- Call me cynical. |
03-12-2004, 09:24 PM | #128 | |||
Co-President of Entmoot
Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 8,397
|
Quote:
I love Emily Dickinson! She's my favourite poet! (My favourite is "Because I could not stop for death".)
__________________
"I can add some more, if you'd like it. Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to Punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools." - Sam Gamgee, p. 340, Return of the King Quote:
Quote:
|
|||
03-15-2004, 04:36 PM | #129 |
Thief Queen of Entmoot
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: oh, I just wander around, aimlessly...
Posts: 1,060
|
she da bomb! and sylvia plath and robert frost!
__________________
*smooch* Proud Member of the Evil Mooters and upstanding citizen of the Planet Bob! And all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be... My Space! Cynicism is what happens when a person opens their eyes; stops blinking in the sun, and starts wondering "why". Question everything, believe only that which you yourself deem true. Go ahead- Call me cynical. |
03-22-2004, 10:00 PM | #130 |
Thief Queen of Entmoot
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: oh, I just wander around, aimlessly...
Posts: 1,060
|
this was brought on by my grandpa's funeral last year. i saw all my aunts and uncles and parents and grandma crying, and it hit me that they weren't as invincible as i thought they were when i was little.
Stripped I've gottten to the center of this tootsie roll pop, and I forgot how many licks it took. This chocolate-covered cherry is melting, and my ice cream just fell in the dirt. I've seen too much living being done by other M&Ms, and I don't like the look of that storm on the horizon. I want a blanket to crawl under, and someone to tell me, "It's okay". So give me back my rose-colored glasses, and pass me the sugar bowl- the world needs to be coated again.
__________________
*smooch* Proud Member of the Evil Mooters and upstanding citizen of the Planet Bob! And all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be... My Space! Cynicism is what happens when a person opens their eyes; stops blinking in the sun, and starts wondering "why". Question everything, believe only that which you yourself deem true. Go ahead- Call me cynical. |
03-23-2004, 01:04 PM | #131 |
Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ
Posts: 6,433
|
Sitting alone in this old empty house,
Surrounded by family but still so cold, Affection is there but I can't move my hand, Because it's not the kind I want, I make my own problems. There's nothing that brightens my day like e-mail, Though I'd rather be talking to some one instead, But that's not going to happen since I'm trapped in this place, Caught between what might be death or saving grace. It's not all bad but it's hard to see, What kind of good this is doing for me, So here I sit just typing away, And wishing that I were somewhere else, instead. Hooray for teen angst |
03-23-2004, 02:46 PM | #132 |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
|
You guys are inspiring! Here's what I just came up with! Comments welcome!
Passing Metaphor (a poem by Beruthiel's cat) Sometimes you watch it go like water through fingers. Sometimes you pray it stays and grip tightly. It's the tide flowing, ebbing on your shore -- erroding sand, returning it -- can't be kept, won't go away -- measures breath, measures death -- all things, no things -- sifts, shifts, sleeps, wakes -- makes and unmakes.
__________________
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... Last edited by Beruthiel's cat : 03-23-2004 at 02:48 PM. |
03-28-2004, 11:10 PM | #133 |
Thief Queen of Entmoot
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: oh, I just wander around, aimlessly...
Posts: 1,060
|
awesome! i love the first line: "sometimes you watch it go/like water through fingers" cool, bc! what are you talking about? love? or life, maybe?
__________________
*smooch* Proud Member of the Evil Mooters and upstanding citizen of the Planet Bob! And all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be... My Space! Cynicism is what happens when a person opens their eyes; stops blinking in the sun, and starts wondering "why". Question everything, believe only that which you yourself deem true. Go ahead- Call me cynical. |
03-29-2004, 10:10 AM | #134 | |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
|
Quote:
Yes...and no. It's time . (I probably should have kept you guessing, but thanks!)
__________________
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... |
|
04-05-2004, 11:35 PM | #135 |
Lover of all things orange and cheesy
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: On a smokestack eating my the chekt.
Posts: 1,045
|
Wow, you guys are GOOD! I must admit that I can't do any foot patterns whatsoever, but I'll get there I can only write humorous poems. I've tried to write a sad or meaningful one, and it turned out funny. I can't help it! I wrote this today, between SAT's (our standardized tests).
My test is done Bored, bored, bored. Twenty minutes have gone, Good Lord! I'm still here Waiting and waiting. This is what I fear And dread about testing. The pointless wait While doing nothing. Why not debate Fingernails, or something! Anything other than This awful silence I'm forced to sit in For a half-hour hence. You say, "Bring a book, Then it won't be so dull." But school-ish thoughts I forsook, And the weekend took it's toll. On Saturday fun thoughts I harbor And the testing I forgot. Should I have to suffer What a busy life begot? Heh heh heh. . . . . yeah. That sucks. Oh well. The best I can do when I'm not allowed to think out loud
__________________
El Poco Diablo is watching you... It was like the Manifest Destiny all over again, except, instead of taking and consuming everything in their paths for God, they did so with the same fervor and sense of entitlement for their new god... themselves. If you want to know more about Jesus, have a prayer need, or want to talk about anything, PM me. |
04-06-2004, 09:54 AM | #136 |
mystical divinity of Unashamed Felinity
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: New York's beautiful North Coast -- we're all mad here!!!
Posts: 635
|
All I can say it that you must have been done with the Language part of the test. That's the only time I ever had to be bored during my SAT's. During the math & science sections, I'd have begged and pleaded for more time if they'd have let me.
Oh, how I hate those tests! And you know what -- flash forward -- if you take a Civil Service test it's very similar. So, theoretically, I guess these tests do prepare you somewhat for the "real" world! Seriously, very clever, Gulio. Nice job. No need to appologize for humor...heaven knows we need a lot more of it!
__________________
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat!" -- R. Heinlein ~~~~~~~~~ "But I don't want to be among mad people, " Alice remarked. "Oh, but you can't help that," said the Cat; "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here." ~~ Lewis Carroll ~~~~~~~~~~~ Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana... Last edited by Beruthiel's cat : 04-06-2004 at 09:55 AM. |
04-07-2004, 11:28 PM | #137 |
Lover of all things orange and cheesy
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: On a smokestack eating my the chekt.
Posts: 1,045
|
Thanks!
You mean these tests are good for something?! Who'd ever guess? I have to write a journal every week for Bible class (Christian school), and once I was so tired and couldn't think of anything to write. I wrote a poem about how I needed more sleep and my braind was dead, and I got an 'A'! (I don't really think the poem was 'A' work, but it was better that the test one. Oh well)
__________________
El Poco Diablo is watching you... It was like the Manifest Destiny all over again, except, instead of taking and consuming everything in their paths for God, they did so with the same fervor and sense of entitlement for their new god... themselves. If you want to know more about Jesus, have a prayer need, or want to talk about anything, PM me. |
04-08-2004, 12:18 PM | #138 | |
The Intermittent One
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: here and there
Posts: 4,671
|
I have found this song, and i love it.
a song is a type of poem, really, isn't it? Quote:
|
|
04-08-2004, 12:21 PM | #139 |
The Lovely Hobbit-Lass
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Bounded in a nut-shell
Posts: 1,593
|
Bit of a country song I wrote:
Country Road There's a country road not far from here Where my dad and me walked with our fishin' gear. We talked about girls, and laughed about life, Cut fish-bait with his Swiss Army knife On that country road. We'd fish all day, just lyin' 'neath the pines Waitin' for a tug on our fishin' lines. And once in a while we'd catch a winner, And me and my dad brought it home for dinner Down that country road. I'm bound to walk That country road With the future's wings, And mem'ry's load. Seems I'm, bound to walk That country road. That road looked so pretty in the moonlight But she was the prettiest of all that night, When we walked together on our first date And I had to explain gettin' home so late From that country road. And a few years later she walked with me And I finally got the nerve to get down on one knee. I don't remember the askin', but she said she'd be mine And now hand-in-hand so many times We've walked that country road. I'm bound to walk That country road With the future's wings, And mem'ry's load. Seems I'm bound to walk That country road. I walked that road the day my daddy died, And when my little girl got married I cried, And when this life's treasures turn to rust I'll kneel down in the dirt and dust Of that country road And thank the Lord for life and joy That He's given to this country boy And pray in Heaven there still will be A place so special and dear to me As that country road. I'm bound to walk That country road With the future's wings, And mem'ry's load. Seems I'm bound to walk That country road. Seems I'm bound to walk That country road.
__________________
It's New Years Day, just like the day before; Same old skies of grey, same empty bottles on the floor. Another year's gone by, and I was thinking once again, How can I take this losing hand and somehow win? Just give me One Good Year To get my feet back on the ground. I've been chasing grace; Grace ain't so easily found One bad hand can devil a man, chase him and carry him down. I've got to get out of here, just give me One Good Year! |
04-08-2004, 11:04 PM | #140 |
Thief Queen of Entmoot
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: oh, I just wander around, aimlessly...
Posts: 1,060
|
rosie, that's awesome! very touching. it sounds like some of the stuff my dad writes; he'd really like that
__________________
*smooch* Proud Member of the Evil Mooters and upstanding citizen of the Planet Bob! And all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be... My Space! Cynicism is what happens when a person opens their eyes; stops blinking in the sun, and starts wondering "why". Question everything, believe only that which you yourself deem true. Go ahead- Call me cynical. |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Comments on my poems plz | Squirrel | Writer's Workshop | 2 | 09-24-2005 06:08 AM |
Collected Poems | Beruthiel's cat | Writer's Workshop | 0 | 03-25-2004 11:26 AM |
A couple of bad poems of mine. | Valaróma | Writer's Workshop | 7 | 08-15-2003 04:58 AM |
poems about the sea needed | eowyn144 | Middle Earth | 8 | 03-06-2002 03:46 PM |
[Fellowship of the ring] Are those poems of significance | photek | Lord of the Rings Books | 13 | 08-27-2001 02:24 PM |