"Apology" to Americans...heheheheh...All Candians read.

[Baby-K]

Canadians do not have accents. (well, ok, Ontarians don't, Frenchy's and Newfies do

That's only semi-true; to an outsider (like me) Canadians sound like drunk Americans. Then again - of all the people from across the world that I have ever spoken to Canadians are the only ones that couldn't understand me (for some reason they had difficulty understanding any South Africans) - I thought that was pretty amusing since we do not really have a distinguishable accent at all.

FF seems to be on a roll up there hun ^^^^ I'll answer that post in pm

Yeah - let's vacate the premises

[Finrod Felagund]

You know who Foster Hewitt is.
You can spot MEC from a kilometre away, even if the little white tag is hidden.
You're either out to bingo or getting stinko (and you think no more of Inco) on a Sudbury Saturday night.
You've actually said, "Stay where yer at, 'till I gets where yer to."
You pity people who haven't tasted a "beavertail".
Complete the phrase: "The good old ____ game is the best ____ you can ____."
You've got some rocks and you've got to leave an important message -- Lucky you know how to build an innukshuk!
You have at least one ROOTS sweatshirt that always smells like cigarettes and beer.
You find it difficult to explain "milk in a bag" to non-Canadians, and even more difficult to describe the "snippy-thing" used on bag corners. (Bonus points if your collected snippy-things are stuck to your fridge.)
You're pretty sure you can see Alex Trebek smirking when Jeopardy contestants get the "Canada questions" wrong. Even if you weren't sure of the answer yourself, you consider yourself a hundred times smarter than the idiots who always guess, "What is .. uh, Toronto?"
Your Saturday nights in the Atlantic provinces include eating beans and brown bread as you watch Hockey Night in Canada.
You know that the Canadian Alliance is just the Reform Party with better hair.
You know that, contrary to general belief, the Inuit have about the same amount of words for snow as do English speakers. Your favourite Inuit word for 'snow' is "navcaq" (snow formation about to collapse).
Your local zoo is mainly flamingoes, giraffes and sad elephants freezing their asses off against a backdrop of pine trees, grey skies, and precambrian shield formations.
You wonder why squirrels and seagulls somehow manage to get in every zoo exhibit (including the parking lot and squirrel and seagull exhibits).
You live in a "beach town" and have to eat your brothers and sisters to stay alive during the winter months.
You wonder why Esther Canadas has been blessed with both beauty and the coolest name on the planet -- although Canuck cutie Shalom Harlow could wipe the floor with her.
You're such a hardcore Canadian punk you used ketchup-flavoured potato chip 'residue' to dye your hair. You know it's kind of gross, but at least you smell good.
You don't consider a date truly romantic until you've slow danced to Blue Rodeo's "Five Days in May". You accept "Lost Together" as a second option.
You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK"
You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
You drink Pop, not Soda.
You only know three spices: Salt, pepper and ketchup
You know that a Mickey and 24's mean, "party at the camp, eh!!!"
You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays (not vacation), with good cigars and no Americans.
You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway
You drive on a highway, not a freeway
You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.
You cried when you heard that "Mr Dress Up" died recently.
You get excited whenever an American television show mentions
You brag to Americans: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & more, are Canadians.
You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!
You know what a toque is.
You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed"
You live in a house with no front step, but the door is one meter up from the ground.
Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
You know that the four seasons means: winter, still winter, almost winter, and road work/construction.
You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.
You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan"
You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada."

[Finrod Felagund]

You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
"Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than, "Huh?"
You call it a BUN not a "Roll"
Its called a WASHROOM not a lavatory or powder room or rest room.
You've ever had your tongue frozen to something.
You know that in Canada the mosquitoes have landing lights
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
You know that Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores before Christmas.
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than on your car.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles a meat processing plant.
The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
You head south to go to your cottage.
You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
You know which leaves make for good toilet paper.
The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo, it's sausage making.
You find -40C a little chilly.
The trunk of your car doubles as a freezer.
You attend a formal in your best clothes, your finest jeweler and your Sorrels.
You can play road hockey on skates.
You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still winter, almost Winter and Construction.
The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

[Finrod Felagund]

You may be a little too Canadian if...

You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin, as you can only use more change.
You spend hours in the dark making scale models of the Avro Arrow and cursing the Diefenbaker government.
You have memorized the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments, including your favourites, "Burnt Toast!", "You know I canna read a word...",
"One day we have tar paper roof!" and "Kanata".
You advocate the abolition of responsible government in favour of monarchist rule.
You think there isn't enough Queen on our currency.
Your graduation formal dress was made of flannel.
You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
You automatically read 'Z' as 'Zed' and don't give a damn that it doesn't rhyme with "now I know my abcs".
You are moved to tears by those Bell Canada phone commercials they show around Remembrance Day, where the grandson calls his granddad from Dieppe. You understand the manipulative nature of the advertisement, but continue to be moved, nonetheless.
You stay up until midnight (the end of some television station broadcasting hours) to hear the Canadian national anthem.
You get up at 5:00 am (the beginning of broadcasting hours) to hear the Canadian national anthem.
You spit angrily when Americans say "ruff" instead of the correct "roof".
When abroad, you have a cold fear that somebody might mistake you for an American. You make a point of deliberately being kind to locals just to make it clear you are a Canadian.


You are too Canadian if...
You've ever said, 'I need more flannel clothing.'
You understand everything in this list, and email it to all your friends.
You read rather than scanned this list.







There you go, I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!

[GrayMouser]

Actually, reading all of Finrod's lists makes me realize why Vancouver should declare itself an independent city-state...

[Finrod Felagund]

[Baby-K]

Originally posted by GrayMouser
Actually, reading all of Finrod's lists makes me realize why Vancouver should declare itself an independent city-state...

They made my head spin!

(the word 'overcompensating' comes to mind )

But, FF, just so ye know - we also have milk in sachets (plastic bags) in SA.
It's ZET not ZEE or ZED (ye see, it rhymes with ALPHABET - now I know my ALPHABET)

You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.

Same thing in SA (I guess the one good thing of being a British colony is that we at least have a grip on the proper way of speaking English )

[GrayMouser]

But two more plusses for the Auld Sod (sorry if they're included Finrod, but I just skimmed the lists...)

Decriminalised pot and gay marriages.

[Finrod Felagund]

.

[Sween]

Originally posted by Finrod Felagund
[B]There you go, I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!

you say that like its something to be proud of......lol

[Finrod Felagund]

I simply give a nod to your custom title...you said it, not me.

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Sween
...Englands the way ahead we have nice beer

And Germany is way ahead of England in that respect.

Originally posted by Finrod Felagund, soon to be the dearly departed Finrod Felagund
I posted this letter to be funny, don't get all uptight!

I was going to say something like "ah.. don't worry we know you're just joking. It's all good." And then...

Americans, here you go (another joke)

Yeah.... Fry ya little cretin!

BUT, you have semi-redeemed yourself with the Canada list. Very funny.
*I own a ROOTS T-shirt from one of my visits, but it's a men's large and too big to wear anywere but to sleep in. So, it doesn't smell like cigs and beer.
*I know that "serviette" is a "napkin". And isn't "poutine" great? Kinda gross if you think about Frit w/brown gravy and farmer's cheese... all that fat...blah... but ooooh... so good.

There are a lot of things I like about Canada, so don't get me wrong. I'm not bashing Canada.

However, there's just something wrong when you have to use another country's overblown figurehead to represent you (AND PAY TAXES TO THEM). Sheesh. I know even some Brits are embarrassed about supporting some rich, inbred, old hag and her family, just because a long time ago their country didn't have the balls to kick the royals out and keep them out (they actually kicked them out and then asked them to come back, imagine that). Really shows a severe weakness.

In addition, WOW! There seems to have been a spam explosion in this thread! What the hell happened?

[Ararax]

actually irish beer (harp, guinness) is much better then english to, as well as german (louenbrau) aaah cherry beer if you havent tried it you havent lived

[GrayMouser]

Originally posted by Ruinel
BUT,
However, there's just something wrong when you have to use another country's overblown figurehead to represent you (AND PAY TAXES TO THEM). Sheesh. I know even some Brits are embarrassed about supporting some rich, inbred, old hag and her family, just because a long time ago their country didn't have the balls to kick the royals out and keep them out (they actually kicked them out and then asked them to come back, imagine that). Really shows a severe weakness.

I haven't been able to find it, (all you monarchists out there get to work!) but the only taxes Canada pays to the Queen is, I believe, some mangy Beaver and Caribou pelts whenever she visits.

We also pay the cost of the visits, but that comes back in tourism revenue .

And ..Yay, Oliver Cromwell!

A good friend and I had a chance to assassinate Phillip and Andrew quite a few years ago. We were sitting on his sister's balcony when we noticed a big commotion down at the local hospital... bands, ballooons, a stage..then a yellow Rolls-Royce convertible pulled up.

It was too far to see clearly, and we didn't have any binoculars, so my friend pulled out his hunting rifle with the scope on it, and was able to zero in quite clearly- he passed it to me, and I was enjoying the spectacle when he suddeny smacked it out of my hands.

If any security forces had happened to be about the place, we could have been killed ourselves- but as my sister (who was born and raised in Canada but lives in England ) said, if you shot both of them, who would care? Not even the IRA ever bothered.

[gollum9630]

Originally posted by Baby-K
That's only semi-true; to an outsider (like me) Canadians sound like drunk Americans. Then again - of all the people from across the world that I have ever spoken to Canadians are the only ones that couldn't understand me (for some reason they had difficulty understanding any South Africans) - I thought that was pretty amusing since we do not really have a distinguishable accent at all.

not true, there is a kid in m class who is south african and i understand him and his family perfectly. In fact, most people that i know have met them understand them perfectly.


(i aint trying to start an argument, just saying that the people i know can understand South Africans

[gollum9630]

Originally posted by jerseydevil
6) Since when does canada own the North Pole? As for the design of Santa Claus - that was from a New Jerseyan cartoonis.

Learnt in my science class that the geographial norht pole, where the compass actually points to, is in Baffin Island, which is part of Canada, making Santa Claus a Canadian

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Ararax
actually irish beer (harp, guinness) is much better then english to, as well as german (louenbrau) aaah cherry beer if you havent tried it you havent lived

I'm partial to the dark boc beers myself. Just a better flavor overall. Glad to see you didn't list any 'light' beers... I just don't see the purpose of drinking a beer if it doesn't taste good.

Originally posted by GrayMouser
I haven't been able to find it, (all you monarchists out there get to work!) but the only taxes Canada pays to the Queen is, I believe, some mangy Beaver and Caribou pelts whenever she visits.

We also pay the cost of the visits, but that comes back in tourism revenue .

I was told by my uncle once that part of your taxes go to the queen and her inbred family. I'm quite sure it is more than what you think actually. If I have time over vacation, I'll look into it for you.

What tourism revenue? I don't know anyone who gives a hacca nyarron if she or her family come to visit or not. I bet the only tourists you get are ex-Brits who now live in the US and Canada. "ooh... lookit there! It's our beloved queen... *bows and grovels*" LOL! It's one of the biggest cons the world has ever seen. What other family could get a free ride in high style with so much poverty and hunger and strife in the world? And what do they do? Nothing really. It's really quite sad.

[GrayMouser]

South Africans don't have accents?!?

You Yawpie hairy-back rock-spider!!

Here in Taiwan , when they're looking for English teachers, they specify "North American" accents (we Canadians can sneak by)

Then comes non-regional British and New Zealanders .
Then comes general Brits and Australians.

Finally, I saw an add the other day that specifically said South Africans are acceptable - times are tough!

Actually, South Africans are even more scorned here than Canadians.

We Canucks used to be generally high on the totem pole; then some sleaze- bag hired almost the entire graduating class of Saskatchewan English teachers at dirt-wages: "They have jobs for teachers!?"

It was like the Irish coming to America when somebody wrote a letter home mentioning meat. The place was flooded.

Now the South Africans are coming, and since they have the basic qualification (white skin) , they are pushing the rates down even more.

Though they are more civilized than the Brits and Aussies....

[GrayMouser]

Originally posted by Ruinel

I was told by my uncle once that part of your taxes go to the queen and her inbred family. I'm quite sure it is more than what you think actually. If I have time over vacation, I'll look into it for you.

What tourism revenue? I don't know anyone who gives a hacca nyarron if she or her family come to visit or not. I bet the only tourists you get are ex-Brits who now live in the US and Canada. "ooh... lookit there! It's our beloved queen... *bows and grovels*" LOL! It's one of the biggest cons the world has ever seen. What other family could get a free ride in high style with so much poverty and hunger and strife in the world? And what do they do? Nothing really. It's really quite sad.

If you've ever been to Victoria, B.C., the whole economy is basically supported by flogging an ersatz British Royal experience, primarily to American tourists- "Afternoon Tea at the Empress Hotel"

That's an extreme example, but there's plenty other places in Canada that push the same product.

And in Britain itself, I'm sure the Royal Family generates far more in tourist revenue than they cost.

Hey, personally I'd be perfectly willing to balance that by selling tickets to a public beheading, but that's basically a one-off.

[HOBBIT]

Originally posted by gollum9630
Learnt in my science class that the geographial norht pole, where the compass actually points to, is in Baffin Island, which is part of Canada, making Santa Claus a Canadian

no, the compass points to the magnetic south pole, which is in canada. The geographic north pole is not in cananda, i believe.