Oh no hes gone for a cheasy ending (spoilers)

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Bombadillo
I don't think that'll go over very well with the fangirls.

sigh... very well... Legolas and Aragorn are good friends at college. Aragorn thinks he's in love with Arwen, who is attending another college. When Aragorn has sex with Eowen and films it. Then sends the film by mistake to Arwen, thinking its some cheesy, sappy video he's made of himself telling her how much he loves her. Then once it is revealed that he has sent her the wrong video, he and his buddies: Legolas, Gimli, Merry and Pippin set out on a cross Middle Earth, fun filled adventure filled with beer drinking and babe chasing, and where virginal Legolas finally [edited for content]. When Aragorn finally meets up with Arwen at her 'U' he swaps the tapes but finds that she's already fallen in love with Frodo (see how I worked that in?). She dumps Aragorn, who goes back to his own 'U' and [edited] Eowen for the remainder of the semester. We'll need to rate this at a minimum of PG-13 for language, sex, and consumption of alcohol.

Unfortunately, I can't seem to work Sauron into this scenario. But give me some time.

[Sorry, Ruinel, but I had to edit another of your posts. Please try to keep it at a true PG-13 level. Thanks. -- azalea]

[Black Breathalizer]

With every serious rumor that's come out on these films, the reaction is to immediately freak out and act like the world is coming to an end. It happened with Arwen, it happened with Boromir and the ring, it happened with Eowyn, and now it's happening with Sauron.

It's been expressed here by Ruinel that Sauron would never appear on the battlefield himself. Oh really? Gee, how was it that Isildur came by the ring in the first place? I can hear the response now, "b-b-but Sauron woulda learned his lesson from THAT war and would never, ever, ever show up on a battlefield again." Seems to me that without a ring to cut off his finger, he would feel pretty indestructable. Also, if the ring WAS going to be on the battlefield, seems to me that Sauron would be no different than Gollum, he'd want to be there to claim it himself after its wearer was killed.

Did Sauron appear on the battlefield in the book? no. But there is no denying that it makes perfect sense for the film.

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Black Breathalizer
It's been expressed here by Ruinel that Sauron would never appear on the battlefield himself. Oh really? Gee, how was it that Isildur came by the ring in the first place? I can hear the response now, "b-b-but Sauron woulda learned his lesson from THAT war and would never, ever, ever show up on a battlefield again." Seems to me that without a ring to cut off his finger, he would feel pretty indestructable. Also, if the ring WAS going to be on the battlefield, seems to me that Sauron would be no different than Gollum, he'd want to be there to claim it himself after its wearer was killed.

Did Sauron appear on the battlefield in the book? no. But there is no denying that it makes perfect sense for the film.

The battle was already played out when he steps out on the field.

Then Gil-galad and Elendil passed into Mordor and encompassed the stronghold of Sauron; and they laid siege to it for seven years, and suffered grievous loss by fire and by the darts and bolts of the Enemy, and Sauron sent many sorties against them {see not Sauron, yet!!!!!!!!}. There in the valley of Grogoroth Anarion son of Elendil was slain, and many others. But at the last siege was so strait that Sauron himself came forth; and he wrestled with Gil-galad and Elendil, and they both were slain, and the sword of Elendil broke under him as he fell.

A siege that lasted 7 years (I'll wait a moment until you're finished counting that on your fingers).... Many fought, many died!!! But not Sauron. Because Sauron had his hordes doing his fighting for him. It was not until the last moments of the battle, after 7 long years of death and destruction does Sauron actual meet his enemies, face to face. And where is Sauron all this time? Gosh... that's a toughie, now isn't it... sorry, I don't feel like pretending this is a movie and spoon feeding you your information. Figure it out.

[Cirdan]

*boo... non-sequitur*

I deny that it makes perfect sense. Hey it is possible.

Now, where were we...

I think Gimli could be a cross-dresser, but since he is a dwarf it is impossible to tell. Faramir should be Gandalf's love child. So much more drama there. It's all about the drama after all. Drama, drama, drama. Of course Saruman's connection to the Shire should be as a drug cartel. Tobacco is so passe and drugs would really make it more accessable to the modern audience. This gives the possibility of extensive car(t) cases and subsequent crashes and shootouts. Searching for a new title. Bored of the Rings:The Movie is too long.

[Bombadillo]

But he just can't take physical form to show up for the company at the Gates. Impossible! It's as simple as that. PJ would be contradicting himself again.

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Cirdan
*boo... non-sequitur*

I really don't see how my post is nonsequitur (btw, there's no dash after 'non' in nonsequitur) ... since BB was addressing Isildur getting the ring and making a very lame attempted at showing how this proves that Sauron's place is the final 'show down' at the OK Corral should be with his pistols blazing in the streets with Aragorn popping his 6-shooter at the other end.

I'm trying to show that the battle that ended the second age was under different circumstances. Sauron had the One Ring already, and thus far more power than he has without it. The siege had been going on for already seven long years. It isn't until the battle was so 'stressed' that Sauron finally comes forth and faces Gil-galad and Elendil.

In the battle that ends the third age, Sauron does not have the One Ring. He does not have his full strength and power. It makes no sense for him to come out onto the battlefield and face Aragorn and the legions that have come to war with his hordes.

This is why it was cleverly written this way in the first place. The discerning viewer watching this movie is going to wonder certain things about that scenario. Why is Sauron facing his enemy when he doesn't have his full strength? Has Sauron suddenly become valiant and courageous? Here he is, standing bravely before his enemy... wow, we were wrong about the bad guy. Maybe he's not as smart as we thought, or maybe he's not as bad as we thought. He's going to fight and die with his loyal servants after all.




Oh, and BB... quit being a [edited] when you write your posts. I'm beginning to wonder about your sexual preferrence.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Hobbit-lasses all the way! Yeah, baby, yeah!

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Cirdan
[BNow, where were we...
I think Gimli could be a cross-dresser, but since he is a dwarf it is impossible to tell. Faramir should be Gandalf's love child. So much more drama there. It's all about the drama after all. Drama, drama, drama. Of course Saruman's connection to the Shire should be as a drug cartel. Tobacco is so passe and drugs would really make it more accessable to the modern audience. This gives the possibility of extensive car(t) cases and subsequent crashes and shootouts. Searching for a new title. Bored of the Rings:The Movie is too long. [/B]

No... too artsy... the masses will not go see nor bring their children to see a cross dressing dwarf. But your idea has merit.

hmmm... lets make him a pimp for Arwen and Eowen... err... who became hookers because they became addicted to the 'weed' in the Southfarthing. Sauron is the leader of the drug cartel, Saruman is his right hand man, Grima is the cartel connection who ferries the 'weed' between the Shire and the many distributorships.
Aragorn, who was once the fiance to Arwen (prewhore/predrug adicted), works for the local drug enforcement agency in Gondor, assigned to Bree, undercover. bla, bla, bla....
... skip to final scene... where Aragorn [The rest of this post was complete spam and was inappropriately violent. You need to stick to the topic. A couple of humorous off-topic posts is fine, but this is going too far. -- azalea]

[Cirdan]

Originally posted by Ruinel
I really don't see how my post is nonsequitur

That was for BB's post...

Oh, and BB... quit being a [edited] when you write your posts. I'm beginning to wonder about your sexual preferrence.

LOL

[Cirdan]

Originally posted by Ruinel
hmmm... lets make him a pimp for Arwen and Eowen... err... *edit*

I like the gore, very PJ. Saruman could be revealed as an alien or maybe a robot, for the extended "whoops! He's not dead yet!" gambit. There could be maybe a Fargoesque chipper shredder scene worked into the Black Gate bit. Don't want to get bogged down into too much storyline.

Dont' forget romance. The wedding much be extra dramatic. Aragorn runs from the altar telling Arwen she should go to Valinor and take "her little hobbit friend" with her. They elope in the end and give the kingdom to Faramir, who is actually an alien robot (for the sequel).

[Artanis]

Originally posted by Black Breathalizer
Seems to me that without a ring to cut off his finger, he would feel pretty indestructable. Also, if the ring WAS going to be on the battlefield, seems to me that Sauron would be no different than Gollum, he'd want to be there to claim it himself after its wearer was killed.

Did Sauron appear on the battlefield in the book? no. But there is no denying that it makes perfect sense for the film.

I can see your point on other issues BB, but this doesn't make sense to me. Sauron has become strong, but in the book I see him basicly as a coward despite all his power, so he prefers to put his servants in the frontline, and let them collect the Ring for him. He would come forth himself only when he thinks nobody can hurt him, as he thought when he wore the Ring.

That said, if Sauron do come forth in the film, I don't think I'll have serious objections. In a way it would make perfect sense if we actually see him being destroyed on the battlefield, to echo the way he was conquered in the battle with the Last Alliance.

Let's wait for the movie and see how it works out.

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Cirdan
That was for BB's post...

Ah... sorry.

I like the gore, very PJ. .... Don't want to get bogged down into too much storyline....Dont' forget romance.

Dang! Yes... what am I thinking. Our target audience should be boys between the ages of 13 and 21. They're not going to want to go see a sappy love story and certainly not a wedding. Ok, *pulls scissors out... snip, snip* ... that part is now cut.

We can work in Fargo's chipper shredder (I'm pretty sure it's still available from props). But I'm torn between having Grima put into it or Saruman. Give me your thoughts on this and I'll come up with a new scenario that includes the chipper shredder.

Besides, I like the idea of someone (I really don't care who) having [edited]. Let's try to keep that scene. More mass appeal to our target audience.

Artanis: no, no, no... we see the light now (thank you BB)... we're going to rework the movie so that it has more mass appeal to a target audience, and give it more of PJ's style. To hell with the books. Who would want to see a movie that tells some old codger's story anyway. Certainly, no one actually reads those silly, old books. hahahaha. We'll use the name of the book, certainly. That will give our movie a credibility as a classic brought to the screen. But there's a whole lot in this book that.... errr... just doesn't have the same mass appeal. Our goal isn't to bring an actual classic to the big screen. Oh no... please... the goal here is to make: MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. Jump on the bandwagon with us Artanis.

[Sheeana]

Oh no! You've all gone to the dark side.

[Lizra]

Originally posted by Artanis


That said, if Sauron do come forth in the film, I don't think I'll have serious objections. In a way it would make perfect sense if we actually see him being destroyed on the battlefield, to echo the way he was conquered in the battle with the Last Alliance.

Let's wait for the movie and see how it works out.

I agree! Can't wait to see what happens!

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Sheeana
Oh no! You've all gone to the dark side.

*drool hangs from lower lip, eyes gloss over*
[monotone voice]come... join us... see the light for which BB has shown us... join us.... be a part of the PJ collective... resistance is futile...[/monotone voice]
*3 long metal prongs pop out of the top of right hand*
[monotone voice]....you will be assimilated... resistance is futile...[/monotone voice]
*Ruinel lunges prongs toward Sheeana's neck*

[Artanis]

Originally posted by Ruinel
Jump on the bandwagon with us Artanis.

I'll leave the reworking to you Ruinel, you're so much better than me there.

I'm unable to feel bad about rumours of a single scene in a film that hasn't been released yet. Even if those rumours should be true, I want to see the whole movie and then judge.

[Ruinel]

I FOUND IT! I FOUND THE CHIPPER SHREDDER!!
We can do the scene now!!!

[edited]

[Anglorfin]

Best . . .smiley . . evar . . .

[Ruinel]

Originally posted by Anglorfin
Best . . .smiley . . evar . . .

righteous... dude... rock on!!!!

[Cirdan]

now that's art!