Who's the real hero of "Lord of the Rings"?

[Arathorn]

I agree with most of you that every being who took part in the quest to destroy the One Ring is a hero.

However, a friend of a friend of a friend wrote the following letter which somehow got forwarded to me. He was so disgusted with the way the Red Book depicted him. He kept quiet until some guy decided to make more money at his expense by making a movie with references to the book (The BLASTED LYING VERSION OF THE WAR OF THE RING!). At the risk of this starting to become an urban legend, here it is on the following post:

[Arathorn]

ok, finally we hear from the evil lord himself...

Good evening, mortals, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Sauron,the Lord
of the Rings.

Caught the title, did you? I should expect so. Most of you idiots might
remember the title to the movie with Frodo, Legolas, and/or Aragorn in it.
Which is why we're going to have a little conversation.

*I* am the Lord of the Rings. Not some midget with hairy feet and blue
eyes the size of saucer plates. Not some pretty boy with pointy ears and a
blond wig. Not some loser king-turned-ranger-turned-king badly in need of
a haircut and a shave. Me. Sauron. The Deceiver. The real
honest-to-Tolkien Lord of the Rings.

I don't mean to complain. I'm glad you came to see my movie. But you seem
to have lost focus. The bloody movie is named after ME!! It's not "Midget
Carrying A Ring," or "Cute Elf Boy," or "Sexy Ranger." It's "Lord of the
Rings." If it was about one of the above, I'm sure they would hav e
renamed it to "The Ringbearer," or some other flowery title.

I am *sick* and *tired* of you little fangirls (and a few of the fanboys)
going on about how cute Frodo was. Or how hot Legolas was. Or how sexy
Aragorn was. Are they the real stars of the movie? No. I am. Without *me*,
there would be no movie!!

Without a doubt, *I* am the most important character in the movie. Middle
Earth depends on me to oppress it and wreak havoc and evil. Do you have
any idea how hard it is to corrupt, taint, destroy, and ruin *everything*
you touch? It's not easy, let me tell you. It's hard work being an
overlord of evil! I have all these evil plans to concoct, and there's a
lot of appearances to be made. I hardly get any sleep, what with having to
keep an eye out for everything those idiots do to try and thwart me.

But do I have any fangirls? Do I have ridiculous girls who collect images
of m e, and devote entire shrines to how sexy I am? Do I get any
appreciation? No. I am unloved, uncared for, and in the end, I have to
die, just to make the heroes look good. Would you even appreciate Frodo
completely if it weren't for *my* ring? Would you like Legolas so much if
I didn't provide his targets for him to show off with a bow? Would you
think Aragorn was so sexy if he never had to draw his sword and fight off
my minions? Would you have liked the movie as much if I didn't arrange for
the dramatic deaths of at least two characters? If it weren't for me,
there'd be no movie.

Now, I know I don't have a pretty face and long, blond hair. Or big blue
eyes and a sensitive face. Or smoldering green eyes and classic good
looks. But a little appreciation would be nice. What about my lidless eye,
wreathed in flames, eh? Now that's cool.Does Frodo have a lidless eye
wreathed in flames? I think not. Hell, he can barely keep his eyes
symmetrical without photo manipulation. And what about my cool metal suit
of armor? Does Legolas have a suit of intimidating armor? No, he doesn't.

All he has is some frippy Elf clothing, and stupid braids. And he walks
like a girl. And what about my piece d' resistance? The One Ring? Does
Aragorn have the One Ring at any point of the movie? No, he's so scared of
it, he sends off the little hobbit like a coward. And he spends more time
touching Legolas and Boromir in that movie than Arwen. (Wonder

what *that's* all about, eh?)

Obviously, I have some interesting qualities I feel are overlooked.All you
fangirls (and fanboys) need to stop drooling after Frodo, Legolas, and
Aragorn. Stop it with the obsession!! You're losing focus for the movie!!
Do you think Tolkien created those characters so you could chase after
them in your sexual fantasies? I think not. The old bastard w as way too
interested in cross-dressing women to create male fantasies for you. *I*
am the star of the show. And I want to be loved for what I am, and what I
do!!

I mean, look at yourselves. Just *look* at what you've turned into.Instead
of appreciating the film, the books, or even the important message behind
the story (don't steal other people's jewelry),you chase after the male
characters in the story. I've even seen shrines to Boromir. Boromir!! He
bloody well died, you know!! The loser practically tried to rip Frodo
limb-from-limb to get the ring, and yet, you appreciate *him*, just
because he tried to save those idiots, Merry and Pippin. The fools got

everyone in trouble more times than *I* did in the film, and you still
like *them*. I barely had to do *any* evil in the first movie. Pippin was
doing a rather nice job of it all by himself.

[Arathorn]

Take the scribe of my message, J. Marie, for inst ance. The fool girl has
a shrine to naked Viggo Mortenson pictures on her hard drive. Now that's
sad. She has filled up folders of precious memory with pictures of Orlando
Bloom. She's wasted countless hours agonizing over writing fanfiction
(about Aragorn and Legolas, no less). She's seen the movie *six* times,

with no end in sight as of this writing, simply so she can drool over
Aragorn and Legolas. It's pathetic, I tell you.

Where are my shrines? Why does she go to the bathroom during the parts of
the movie before Aragorn shows up? Why does she concern herself with the
pizza grease on her hands during *my* scenes, yet didn't even notice her
brother spilling Pepsi all over her pants when Aragorn was fighting the
Nazgul? It's unfair.

She'll quote you *Gollum* before she can mention anything that I have done
to make this film great. She just shrugs and tells all her friends she
hopes Aragorn gets a nude scene in the next movie!! How degrading!!

And where were *my* Oscar nominations?? Nobody would care about Gandalf if
it weren't for *me*!! He'd be nothing without *me* to define him!! It's an
injustice!!!

And don't even get me started on the fanfiction. Where's my sex scenes?
(I'm a lover, not a fighter, you know.) My thoughts and angst?? Where's my
slash moments (I personally think that Gandalf and I need to get the
hook-up), or the times when I kidnap Arwen from Aragorn? Where's the Mary
Sues that try to get *me* to marry them? I'll have you know I have some

very nice love poetry stored up for just that occasion. It's always about
Aragorn, Legolas, or Frodo!!

I'm asking for some focus here. For people to recognize that the Lord of
the Rings is about ME. The Lord of the Rings. Not the ranger who needs to
shave. Not the Elf who looks like a girl at a distance. And c ertainly not
some computer-midget-ized hobbit with eyes too big for his face. I'll get
him. And his little dog, too.

I *demand* equal rights. I want web shrines, folders full of images of me
on your hard drive, people paying eight bucks a pop just to see *me* on
screen repeatedly, fanfiction, love scenes, Mary Sue fics, grand
kidnapping the damsel scenes, horrific storylines, and angst-filled
stories!! I *am* the Lord of the Rings!! It's all about ME!! ME!!!
MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Well, he hates the books as well, go figure...

[Lalaith]

It's definitely SAM. (Although I think it should be Faramir, because he is just so nice and cute.)
And Eowyn is also pretty much a hero. I mean, for the fact that women don't got to wars, she is a pretty good fighter and braver than many men.

[Lanelf]

Hey, Arathorn - Sauron does have fangirls. Your 'Friend of a friend of a friend' does have a point - he doesn't have nearly as many shrines as Legolas or Aragorn, but he has had at least two fics written where he has fangirls. Here are the links: (they're long, and one's a work-in-progress, but they're so funny!)
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=644826 (that's the first one - you'll need to read it to get the next) and http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=950294. Enjoy!
Lanelf.

[Arathorn]

I knew I shouldna accepted that job by the dark lord and posted that letter. Now I'll have to wade through those fanfics starting tomorrow and my weekend is RUINED! RUINED! RUINED!
Go away...Leave now and never come back...

[ElfFriend]

IT'S GOLLUM...DUHHH! WITH OUT HIM PLUNGING INTO MT. DOOM WHILE DOING A VICTORY DANCE THE QUEST WOULD HAVE FAILED

[Elvedans]

The hero of the bookis definitly the Ring for me. Without it Rivendell and Lothlorien would wither, the Elves would pass into the West sooner and worst of all there would be no LOTR!!!!!

[Celebréiel]

Id say Sam! He helps Frodo alot! So either him or Aragorn, yeah Frodo bears the ring but w/out Sams help, hed be lost. Samwise the brave.
~Celebréiel

[FattyBulger]

There were alot of bad creatures who were the servants of Sauron who "Had something to do with the ring" but were not any help when it came to its destruction. Actually they made it harder.

I know they made it harder but without them there wouldn't be a third age and a war of the ring.

[Limnodel]

I think: Sam, Gandalf, Aragorn, Pip and Merry, Frodo 34 places from last, and... the fox who is relatively aware of the 3 hobbits is the least heroic

[Limnodel]

Dont ask why though

[druss]

i can't nominate any one character so i'll just nominate a race (i know greedy). the hobbits obviously. frodo, sam, merry, pippin all overcame their respective shortcomings(!!!) to become heros of Gondor and ME. during the sacking of the shire ordinary hobbits cast off the oppressive yolk of sharky to show that they are not to be messed with. if you dont agree then captains Meriadoc and Peregrin will shortly(sorry couldn't help myself) be knocking at your door

[Ragnarok]

Frodo for taking the mission and bearing the ring to the cracks of doom

although Gollum destroyed it by falling into the crack with the ring.

[Elf Girl]

Yes. Even though Frodo nearly failed in the end, he bore the Ring all the way to Mordor. He is the true hero of Lord of the Rings.

[Entlover]

Originally posted by Ragnarok
Frodo for taking the mission

Have to agree with Ragnarok -- and Gollun is irrelevant. If Frodo hadn't had pity on him, he wouldn't have been in a position to "accidentally" destroy the ring. It was Frodo's mercy that won the battle.

[Indril Anarion]

Originally posted by druss
i can't nominate any one character so i'll just nominate a race (i know greedy). the hobbits obviously. frodo, sam, merry, pippin all overcame their respective shortcomings(!!!) to become heros of Gondor and ME. during the sacking of the shire ordinary hobbits cast off the oppressive yolk of sharky to show that they are not to be messed with. if you dont agree then captains Meriadoc and Peregrin will shortly(sorry couldn't help myself) be knocking at your door

I agree...all the Hobbits seem to be the most heroic mostly because they are the ones that got the most inner growth out of the entire adventure...I mean, sure Aragorn became king, and Legolas and Gimli became friends, but the Hobbits are the ones that truly showed inner and outer heroism, they stuck together and accomplished great things

[Lalaith]

Okay, trying not to be influenced by my favourite characters. .... Still Eowyn. She is a real hero.

[Jonathan]

LotR has many heroes, but if the 'real hero' means the main character, I'd say it's Frodo. Everything in the books had to do with the Ringbearer and that makes him the 'real hero'.

[IthilienPrincess]

I think its all about how you define "hero". I mean the obvious kick-butt heroes are Legolas and Aragorn. The courageous hero would be Frodo. And the loyal stick-with-ya-til-the-end hero is Sam.All the characters had a role in destroying the ring.