To the Citizens of the United States of America

[Spock]

Good going JD. If they don't stop, we'll put them on the list.

[sun-star]

Originally Posted by The Gaffer

I seem to recall reading something ages ago about UK-US English spelling which said that the original spelling for colour was in fact color, and that it was us that changed.

I'm fairly sure it comes from the French 'couleur' - there would have been a period when either color or colour was acceptable, and then the UK and US went with different spellings.

*is still shuddering at the thought of 'Candle in the Wind' as our national anthem*

[jerseydevil]

Originally Posted by sun-star

I'm fairly sure it comes from the French 'couleur' - there would have been a period when either color or colour was acceptable, and then the UK and US went with different spellings.

We purposely changed the spellings of things - and took out most of the unnecessary letters. We also changed the spelling so their spelt the way their pronounced (theatre to theater - you don't pronounce it theatray - so why spell as if it is?). We had a revolution and Webster or Benjamin Franklin (I've heard both mentioned) felt that we should throw out the old english language and develop a uniquely American language - which is what we have.

Note: I use theatre for live performance theaters and theater for movie theaters or I just use them interchangeably for live permance theaters.

[Insidious Rex]

Originally Posted by Durin1

Of course I do, mate, I have drank barrels of the stuff in my time after all!! You will notice that I was referring to Lager - or do you call all alcohol (including stout) beer

LAGER less than 5% IS pointless, and I have tried many in my time.

agreed. I guess the point to be made is that there are two kinds of beer drinkers here. You have the ignorant lot that dont like real beer and drink Coors and Bud Light. And you have the real beer drinkers who enjoy beer for its taste and sometimes feel like a hearty stout and sometimes want a light refreshing wheat. Dont think the latter group is non existant here simply because the former group accounts for the majority of the beer sales. Let us raise our mugs in celebration of GOOD beer world wide! *falls out of chair*

[EarthBound]

Originally Posted by Insidious Rex

agreed. I guess the point to be made is that there are two kinds of beer drinkers here. You have the ignorant lot that dont like real beer and drink Coors and Bud Light. And you have the real beer drinkers who enjoy beer for its taste and sometimes feel like a hearty stout and sometimes want a light refreshing wheat. Dont think the latter group is non existant here simply because the former group accounts for the majority of the beer sales. Let us raise our mugs in celebration of GOOD beer world wide! *falls out of chair*

Finally a topic I can drink to "hicup!" Salute!

*Quaffs oversized mug of cloudy wheat beer then belches out the StarWars theme for no apparent reason.

[sun-star]

Originally Posted by jerseydevil

We purposely changed the spellings of things - and took out most of the unnecessary letters. We also changed the spelling so their spelt the way their pronounced (theatre to theater - you don't pronounce it theatray - so why spell as if it is?). We had a revolution and Webster or Benjamin Franklin (I've heard both mentioned) felt that we should throw out the old english language and develop a uniquely American language - which is what we have.

Yeah, that's what I was saying. There was a flexible period before English spellings were standardised, and in that period the US went with different ones so they could have their own way of doing it.

Note: I use theatre for live performance theaters and theater for movie theaters or I just use them interchangeably for live permance theaters.

That's interesting. Why do you do that? Do you pronounce live theatre "theatray"?

[inked]

Just back in HS Drama and Thespians, Broadway bills and productions were usually presented as theatre (at least in spelling without regard to artistic merit of course) and films were shown in theaters. During my college years as a theater employee that distinction was maintained from that side as well on the supplies and letterheads and marquees. Just an interestin' bit of AMERICANA, I think. Tho' if there is a distinct differentiation, I suspect it came from the film side so as to distinguish itself (some old neuron is affirming that as something I read about the nascent film industry in California). Ahh, the neuron fired off! The manager of the theater in which I popped popcorn, sold tickets,and ran concessions had been in theater business since the 1930's (he was late sixties when I was doing this back 1975-1977). He told me that the film industry had chosen the spelling theater for exactly the purpose I mentioned above and that the decison was reached around the time of the advent of the talking "moving pictures" and the subsequent marketing and development of national theater chains. (HE also reminisced about getting into the theater for a nickel a head! So he certainly had a lengthy experience to draw on!)

[sun-star]

Thanks, inked - very interesting We don't call them 'movie theaters' in the UK, just 'cinemas', so maybe that's where that spelling difference came from. All our 'theatres' are live performance ones.

[Elvengirl]

We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for "Teletubbies".

lmao

[Janny]

As a man of taste, I have no problem apologising for the fat blob type things...

*thinks*
*checks avatar*

Apology retracted.

[Bombadillo]

Originally Posted by jerseydevil

We purposely changed the spellings of things - and took out most of the unnecessary letters. We also changed the spelling so their spelt the way their pronounced (theatre to theater - you don't pronounce it theatray - so why spell as if it is?). We had a revolution and Webster or Benjamin Franklin (I've heard both mentioned) felt that we should throw out the old english language and develop a uniquely American language - which is what we have.

What a collection of spiteful, stubborn, childish... oh, wait, I'm American too...
This list is wrong and insulting and vulgar, Fal, and you should be sued for posting it!!!

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

Originally Posted by Durin1

Although I'd have to disagree with adopting the British Anthem. It's probably the most boring, ridilculous and out of touch anthem in the world, with its old, imperilaist connotations. Why should "God save the Queen" surely it should mean "God save the people of Great Britain?

i agree with billy connolly - national anthem should be theme tune for 'the archers'
or maybe bill bailey's idea that it should be 'i got a brand new combine harvester' by the worzels

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

Originally Posted by inked

...He also reminisced about getting into the theater for a nickel a head! So he certainly had a lengthy experience to draw on!)

am i right in saying that the term Nickelodeon is derived from this?

[The Gaffer]

Originally Posted by EarthBound

Finally a topic I can drink to "hicup!" Salute!

*Quaffs oversized mug of cloudy wheat beer then belches out the StarWars theme for no apparent reason.

Slainte!

Though it pains me to say it, English beer is the best I've ever tasted. Even the mass produced stuff is mostly divine (John Smith's excepted). Had a lovely pint of Pedigree on Sunday after a walk across the fields.

Though for a decent cooking lager, you have to go continental or even Aussie.

Although English cuisine is much maligned, I think it's improved enormously in the past few years. Standards are much higher than they used to be. We even export curry to India!

[Earniel]

The following posts about cooking and food has been moved to its own thread here: Cooking and food thread

[Old toby's wicked weed]

mr falagar post this original:

To the citizens of the United States of America,
In the light of your failure to elect a suitable President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z'(pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays “American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game.
Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "TOS violation starting with sh and ending with it". You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.


11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

[Old toby's wicked weed]

contunued be from post up above thus last bit be of mr falagar post - VERY haha :

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). Thank you for your cooperation.

[Spock]

This was better off closed; two years without a comment.