Favourite teacher quotes.

[-elfearz-]

Originally Posted by Farimir Captain of Gondor

This is more of a situation then a quote from my college World Geo teacher.


"Okay, today we are going to do some quizes and take some test that don't effect your grade but will expand your mind. Anyone that wants to leave can."

*75% of the class gets up and leaves*

"Good, now that they are gone, I've got pizza coming in 10 min. and there isn't any test."

I love that guy.

hahaha that's gold!

*wishes law lecturers fed us pizza*...*grumble*

[Bombadillo]

Hahaha! FCoG, that reminds me of a religion teacher I had last year. He's also an author on the side, and recently, Fox and UPN news cameramen came to my school to film a story about a kid with leukemia who we've been fundraising for. He brought in thirty or so copies of his book and lent them out for the day. He told his students that if the camera caught any of them reading it in class (instead of paying attention to the teacher), they'd get a pizza party. He's just a goofball.

I can't believe I never posted here either. Sophomore year, I had this brilliant US history teacher. He used to reenact history. My favorite lesson was Paul Revere's ride, where he sat down backwards on a chair (he's grossly fat, keep in mind), grabbed a stapler and started twirling it above his head, and repeatedly humped the chair all around the room, pretending to gallop on a horse, shouting "The Redcoats are coming" over and over again at the top his his lungs until the main office paged the classroom asking if everything was alright.

Then there was also Sherman's March to the Sea! Explained here if you're unfamiliar with it. He's in the middle of a lecture about it, and then rudely tells a student to get up and stand farther away from him. Then he sheilds his eyes from the sun and says "Well well, what is that off in the distance? Is that. . . a hospital!? BUUUUURRRRNN IIIIIITT!" He grabs the student's desk and launches it across the whole room so it smashes into his own. While the class is still laughing he walks over to retrieve the desk and then repeats the whole thing, destroying an orphanage, a marketplace, and an assisted living home. Finally his puts the student's desk back in its place, but the kid's books are now all over the floor, and he says, "sorry, I got carried away. I think your chair dented my desk a little bit."

Once, when some jock in my class neglected his homework because he had to go to a game, he said to him, "There was a game? Ah, I remember my wedding night. I and my beautiful wife had just married, and, carrying over the threshold into our room, I told her 'Mary, I love you, but I can never love you as much as I love United States History. You must understand.' Mr. [student's name], history always comes first!"

[-elfearz-]

Originally Posted by Bombadillo

Hahaha! FCoG, that reminds me of a religion teacher I had last year. He's also an author on the side, and recently, Fox and UPN news cameramen came to my school to film a story about a kid with leukemia who we've been fundraising for. He brought in thirty or so copies of his book and lent them out for the day. He told his students that if the camera caught any of them reading it in class (instead of paying attention to the teacher), they'd get a pizza party. He's just a goofball.

I can't believe I never posted here either. Sophomore year, I had this brilliant US history teacher. He used to reenact history. My favorite lesson was Paul Revere's ride, where he sat down backwards on a chair (he's grossly fat, keep in mind), grabbed a stapler and started twirling it above his head, and repeatedly humped the chair all around the room, pretending to gallop on a horse, shouting "The Redcoats are coming" over and over again at the top his his lungs until the main office paged the classroom asking if everything was alright.

Then there was also Sherman's March to the Sea! Explained here if you're unfamiliar with it. He's in the middle of a lecture about it, and then rudely tells a student to get up and stand farther away from him. Then he sheilds his eyes from the sun and says "Well well, what is that off in the distance? Is that. . . a hospital!? BUUUUURRRRNN IIIIIITT!" He grabs the student's desk and launches it across the whole room so it smashes into his own. While the class is still laughing he walks over to retrieve the desk and then repeats the whole thing, destroying an orphanage, a marketplace, and an assisted living home. Finally his puts the student's desk back in its place, but the kid's books are now all over the floor, and he says, "sorry, I got carried away. I think your chair dented my desk a little bit."

Once, when some jock in my class neglected his homework because he had to go to a game, he said to him, "There was a game? Ah, I remember my wedding night. I and my beautiful wife had just married, and, carrying over the threshold into our room, I told her 'Mary, I love you, but I can never love you as much as I love United States History. You must understand.' Mr. [student's name], history always comes first!"

:

This has to be one of the funniest, randomnest things I've read in a while!

[trolls' bane]

Originally Posted by Bombadillo

Hahaha! FCoG, that reminds me of a religion teacher I had last year. He's also an author on the side, and recently, Fox and UPN news cameramen came to my school to film a story about a kid with leukemia who we've been fundraising for. He brought in thirty or so copies of his book and lent them out for the day. He told his students that if the camera caught any of them reading it in class (instead of paying attention to the teacher), they'd get a pizza party. He's just a goofball.

I can't believe I never posted here either. Sophomore year, I had this brilliant US history teacher. He used to reenact history. My favorite lesson was Paul Revere's ride, where he sat down backwards on a chair (he's grossly fat, keep in mind), grabbed a stapler and started twirling it above his head, and repeatedly humped the chair all around the room, pretending to gallop on a horse, shouting "The Redcoats are coming" over and over again at the top his his lungs until the main office paged the classroom asking if everything was alright.

Then there was also Sherman's March to the Sea! Explained here if you're unfamiliar with it. He's in the middle of a lecture about it, and then rudely tells a student to get up and stand farther away from him. Then he sheilds his eyes from the sun and says "Well well, what is that off in the distance? Is that. . . a hospital!? BUUUUURRRRNN IIIIIITT!" He grabs the student's desk and launches it across the whole room so it smashes into his own. While the class is still laughing he walks over to retrieve the desk and then repeats the whole thing, destroying an orphanage, a marketplace, and an assisted living home. Finally his puts the student's desk back in its place, but the kid's books are now all over the floor, and he says, "sorry, I got carried away. I think your chair dented my desk a little bit."

Once, when some jock in my class neglected his homework because he had to go to a game, he said to him, "There was a game? Ah, I remember my wedding night. I and my beautiful wife had just married, and, carrying over the threshold into our room, I told her 'Mary, I love you, but I can never love you as much as I love United States History. You must understand.' Mr. [student's name], history always comes first!"

LOL!

[Finrod Felagund]

So...this is religion class and one of my fellow students is being a smartass.

Rev. Walrath: STOP IT!

Jason: Calm down man.

Rev. Walrath: I AM NOT A MAN!!!!!...............................to you....






Class tries not to giggle...oh, classic

[Gwaimir Windgem]

My Mathematics tutor is just awesome. He has a spectacular sense of humour and is always cracking marvellous jokes. I remember when there was a debate going on about some question or another and I more or less trounced the Opposition, he said, "It's usually a good idea to agree with Mr. [my name], except in matters of social interaction."

He also related to us, after we'd read Plutarch's Life of Alcibiades a humourous story about how Alcibiades had gotten in big trouble for defacing the hermai. Of course, we knew that, but neither Plutarch nor Thucydides told us that 'defacing' meant 'castrating'.

[littleadanel]

Oh, lol

My literature teacher today: "...so the meaning of a literay work can be fun... find... found!"

It's not that funny, but I had a hard time to hold back my laughter - mostly because on his lessons I feel a constant urge to bang my head against the wall because of his terrible accent when speaking English, and the switching between English and Hungarian, sometimes in mid-sentence... And then this.

[Bombadillo]

My algebra teacher rocks. Besides the fact that he's awesome, he hates math with a passion, and was only assigned to my class after the real teacher was suddenly fired mid-year for being a general failure. Anyway, each little lesson in the algebra books include about thirty problems to be done orally in class and thirty to do at home.

So today he walks into the room and writes in obnoxious capitals across the board: "Do me now! Oral! (519) Then give it to me tomorrow!" When he's done he says, "Okay that's your homework. I don't really feel like teaching today so just get started on that. The department head's coming in tomorrow to evaluate us too, so bring your book or something and pretend you're all smart. I'll pretend to teach math and it'll be a happy classroom, almost like we don't hate each other's guts, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay?"

He's like that on most days, but this was the best.

[Farimir Captain of Gondor]

Originally Posted by Bombadillo

So today he walks into the room and writes in obnoxious capitals across the board: "Do me now! Oral! (519) Then give it to me tomorrow!"

I would've lost it right there.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Originally Posted by Bombadillo

"Do me now! Oral! (519) Then give it to me tomorrow!"

I don't even need to take that anywhere, it's already right there.

[Beren3000]

In my country, you have to do a preparatory year in engineering before specialising (which I'm currently doing); so my Algebra professor goes:
"This method requires a bit of thinking, but since you guys are in prep. we won't let you think!"

[Sam]

Originally Posted by Beren3000

In my country, you have to do a preparatory year in engineering before specialising (which I'm currently doing); so my Algebra professor goes:
"This method requires a bit of thinking, but since you guys are in prep. we won't let you think!"

lol

[Sam]

English teacher: Why didn't you get your homework finished?
Me: I was on vacation.
English teacher: That's no excuse

music teacher: what happened to your arm?
me: PE happened to my arm.
music teacher: then quit PE, you're too talented

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Originally Posted by Sam

English teacher: Why didn't you get your homework finished?
Me: I was on vacation.
English teacher: That's no excuse

He's right, you know.

[trolls' bane]

Originally Posted by Sam

music teacher: what happened to your arm?
me: PE happened to my arm.
music teacher: then quit PE, you're too talented

LOL! I wish.

Unfortuneately, he is...

[MrBishop]

Fav Quote from a teacher...it's actually a term that he used often.

"I don't want to see any VD in your papers, mon."

VD=Verbal diarrhea *Basically taking what you read and rewriting it with no structure whatsoever.*

[Beren3000]

This thread is priceless.
In the college I go to, people who failed some courses and are retaking them the following year are called (what is roughly translated as) "in retardation". So during one of my midterms, we had some of these guys taking the exam with us; because of this, there was a problem with seating. The professor (without intending it) goes: "you, the retarded guy back there, come and sit here please!"

[katya]

From a professor at my college:
"I'm different from other computer scientists. And I'm not just talking about the
high heels and the fish nets."

He is going to be in Rocky Horror again this year...

[durinsbane2244]

to my sister in college:
sis: dude, look at this!
prof.: all right, b***h!
sis: what?!?!
prof.: if you're going to call me dude, i'm going to call you b***h.
sis: damn! you're GOOD!

to me:
MR. KOLCUN, SHUT UP!

[trolls' bane]

My new World Cultures teacher:

*kid is reading a book, waiting for others to finish an assignment*
Mr. Snell *suddenly breaking the relative silence in the room*: NO BOOKS!

He asked me not to read anything in his class in a nicer way.