Favourite teacher quotes. - Page 5

Evenstar1400 · 02-26-2003, 06:42 PM

quotes from the same teacher.... mr grace

teacher: ZOLTAN!

student: what would you do if a meteor was about to crash into earth and kill everybody
teacher: id assume the position and kiss my ass goodbye

teacher: good afternoon class
students: OH BUGGER OFF!
(he insists we say that)

teacher's sign: NO SNIVELING!

Lotesse · 02-12-2006, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sween

Also very strange things like 'rules were made to be broken', 'im going to teach you about my time in jail'.

Oh, there are SO many good teacher-quotes in this thread! I came across this old thread this morning, and thought I'd bump it so you guys could see; it is FULL of some great stuff. Crickhollow's teacher sounded really cool, JerseyDevil's old math teacher was funny, there's so many fun ones here. I wish I could remember all the little witty one-liners from my own high school teachers, because I had some wonderful teachers, but alas, I can't really remember anything verbatim to contribute here. Reading this stuff, though, makes me think about how cool it would be to be a high school teacher. Not much pay, but it would be such a rewarding and cool job, I think.

The last sane person · 02-13-2006, 01:13 AM

This isnt one of my favorites, but its the only one that stuck:

"The world doesn't need people like you." My former "guidance" councelor, when i argued about her calling the nation of Iran an "Arab state" with "No important contributions to mankind or history"

**Nurvingiel** · 02-13-2006, 04:21 AM

This thread is awesome! Nice bump Lotesse.

My fire science prof, to me: Your midterm mark, although not brilliant, was above average, so you do not have any problems on course comprehension to date.

I just love the "although not brilliant" part.

littleadanel · 02-13-2006, 07:13 AM

Wow, these are great

I used to collect funny teacher-quotes in high school.. I just can't find my notebook now. There are some things I remember, though...

"Without physics, man is nothing but a torso." - my physics teacher; he kept repeating that sentence. He had so many characteristic little phrases, impossible to translate... And during an experiment, or after solving a problem, he said things like "Isn't that wonderful?" or "This is even better than sex."

He was so enthusiastic about his subject, and yet we kept turning him down, not caring at all about those beautiful things.

Also, my arts teacher was so wonderfully random...

One of my favourites of his: "Not enough, said Al Capone, when the guy in a black suit switched on the current." Gee, I miss his classes.

And now something from uni... "A lexical entry is NOT an innocent little thing." -- my linguistics prof.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evenstar1400

teacher: ZOLTAN!

Hmm. I wonder what the teacher meant by that. Adressing someone? Zoltán, 'tis a name in Hungarian. Hmmm.

Lady Marion Magdalena · 02-13-2006, 02:04 PM

We had some good ones in Latin today.

"If we had written the book it would be a lot more entertaining... and banned!"
-Professor F.

"Yes... it translates literally to 'little mouth' which I guess is what you're doing when you kiss, this type of kiss anyway, the Romans had alot of words for kissing, this one is just the most... restrained I guess."
"What are the other words?"
"Why do you want to know? I'm not telling you now, you'll learn the other words for kissing and more when you get to second year Latin!"
-Professor F., Classmate, Professor F.

And finally:

"What a story! How are they going to out-do that one? Oh wait... they do out-do themselves, look! They go from crossdressing to vivisection of large animals!"
-Professor F. once more.

And that was all within one hour...

***Rían*** · 02-13-2006, 02:58 PM

he sounds like great fun, Maggie!

I had a wonderful math teacher who was Polish and loved to tell Polish jokes.

**crickhollow** · 02-14-2006, 02:10 AM

ha! i just cracked myself up, reading this thread. What good memories.

I had a Western Civ. prof who always used to say, "your freedom to swing your fist ends where my nose begins." Which I suppose is really quite true.

Count Comfect · 02-14-2006, 02:15 AM

Ah, if only I'd seen this thread 3 years ago when we were compiling the list of "Truaxioms" from my history teacher, Mr. Truax. Alas, I no longer have it.

However, my philosophy professor was to blame today for accusing anthropologists of living in a "subphilosophical netherworld of stupidity."

gollum9630 · 02-15-2006, 11:38 PM

"I love to torment my wife and kids. My daughters really easy to tormetnt, all I have to do is dance in front of her friends" (he then started to dance)
-my econ prof

"All I could think about was 'ooh Canada, penguins'"
-my poli-sci prof on moving to Canada from South Africa

truthiscool · 02-16-2006, 03:42 PM

IM lost

Help

Plz

E, LoR · 03-09-2006, 11:37 AM

my teacher always says "here's the thing". and then, there was one time when we were being really, um, awful, and not paying all that much attention

and then she said. "act your age, not your shoe size!"

that just made us crack up more...

Rev. Justin Timberlake · 03-09-2006, 12:57 PM

Me: *making noise in science class*
Teacher: OI!!! You will leave my class, go to the field and talk to the birds.
Me: *leave class*

Me & buddy: *talking in science class (two years later)*
Teacher: You know, you don't have to be here. I mean you obviously don't care about what I have to say, so why not just leave? I'm not stopping you.
Me & buddy: *leave class*

Oh, and back in 1990:

Me: *goes to Principal's office*
Principal: You know, sex is a precious thing that God has given to us...

I don't remember the rest but it was funny.

Lady Marion Magdalena · 03-13-2006, 12:33 PM

And today's gem from the latin professor:

"Visne, 'do you want'. As in: 'Do you want a ham sandwich?' or 'Do you want someone to do someone - sorry! Something!"

trolls' bane · 03-25-2006, 03:04 AM

"OH MY GOD! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! IT'S A DISASTER!!"--Mr Ussery, when satisfied that it was the correct time for our class to begin the "disaster drill," because they didn't set of the fire alarm for some reason.

"Please listen at my face."--Mr. Ussery, Geography teacher.

"Now that you are finished guessing, please exchange papers and degrade yourselves."--Mr. Ussery, announcing "time's up" on a test.

"You may spend the rest of the period exaggerating your popularity with people who you think are your friends."--Mr. Ussery

"...this lovely essay. I wrote it...*pause, someone laughs*...heh! Thanks!"--Mr. Ussery

"Finnish (not Swedish!) group project."--Written on board, by Mr. Ussery

"...but, and it's a really big but. Thanks! Sorry, I had to crack a joke."--Mr. Ussery

More from Mr. Ussery's class...
Random Student (loudly): Oh my God!
Teacher from next door (who visits a lot): Apology accepted.

Another time, this Monday I think, the bell was about or just had rung, and he was having trouble getting the students' attention. So, he sang the word "Listen" in a perfect soprano, then said "Thanks, I wrote that!"

"Hey, comrade!"--Mr. Foster, 8th Grade U.S. History, after several days of commenting on my reading Nineteen Eighty-four

"Yep! We'll be sending you to OCS. That quantum physics, man, it's not good for you."--Mr. Williams, Digital Art, after I willingly confessed to being the one who looked up the quantum mechanics on the computer, after he had been talking to me and a few other kids about how other kids had destroyed all of his magazines that he had collected and brought in, as well as those that were "looking up stuff they weren't supposed to on the school computers."

trolls' bane · 03-25-2006, 03:25 AM

Mr. Stedman, 8th Grade Sci. Teacher:

"Look at all this! It's garbage. GARBAGE!" (is referring to the big papers that have California state standards, which teachers don't normally complain about out loud, as much as they seem to hate them. It was a particularly bad day.) "It's because of clowns like you that we have to have all of this GARBAGE! I liked my walls just FINE WITHOUT IT!" *rips one of them off the wall*

rohirrim TR · 03-25-2006, 01:31 PM

you're not allowed to look up quantum physics on a school PC? thats kind of way out there...

-elfearz- · 03-25-2006, 01:36 PM

9th grade media studies teacher on (somebody else's!

) report card:

Your daughter's result is an insult to us both, but at least I tried.

Farimir Captain of Gondor · 03-25-2006, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -elfearz-

9th grade media studies teacher on (somebody else's!

) report card:

Your daughter's result is an insult to us both, but at least I tried.

That's funny.

This is more of a situation then a quote from my college World Geo teacher.

"Okay, today we are going to do some quizes and take some test that don't effect your grade but will expand your mind. Anyone that wants to leave can."

*75% of the class gets up and leaves*

"Good, now that they are gone, I've got pizza coming in 10 min. and there isn't any test."

I love that guy.

trolls' bane · 03-25-2006, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farimir Captain of Gondor

That's funny.

This is more of a situation then a quote from my college World Geo teacher.

"Okay, today we are going to do some quizes and take some test that don't effect your grade but will expand your mind. Anyone that wants to leave can."

*75% of the class gets up and leaves*

"Good, now that they are gone, I've got pizza coming in 10 min. and there isn't any test."

I love that guy.

LOL! I LOVE that one! Serves 'em right! I'd get a free lunch!

(Because I have nothing better to do, and even if I didn't take the test and there was one, I'd stay to read.)

02-26-2003, 06:42 PM	#81
Evenstar1400 Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: In the inner depths of my lair. Posts: 421	quotes from the same teacher.... mr grace teacher: ZOLTAN! student: what would you do if a meteor was about to crash into earth and kill everybody teacher: id assume the position and kiss my ass goodbye teacher: good afternoon class students: OH BUGGER OFF! (he insists we say that) teacher's sign: NO SNIVELING! __________________ Treebeard: Hmm, you look like hobbits, smell like hobbits, feel like hobbits and sound like hobbits. You must be orcs!

02-13-2006, 01:13 AM	#83
The last sane person The Black Númenórean Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6,773	This isnt one of my favorites, but its the only one that stuck: "The world doesn't need people like you." My former "guidance" councelor, when i argued about her calling the nation of Iran an "Arab state" with "No important contributions to mankind or history" __________________ Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

02-13-2006, 02:04 PM	#86
Lady Marion Magdalena Elf Lord Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: In a Field of Giant Daisies. Posts: 821	We had some good ones in Latin today. "If we had written the book it would be a lot more entertaining... and banned!" -Professor F. "Yes... it translates literally to 'little mouth' which I guess is what you're doing when you kiss, this type of kiss anyway, the Romans had alot of words for kissing, this one is just the most... restrained I guess." "What are the other words?" "Why do you want to know? I'm not telling you now, you'll learn the other words for kissing and more when you get to second year Latin!" -Professor F., Classmate, Professor F. And finally: "What a story! How are they going to out-do that one? Oh wait... they do out-do themselves, look! They go from crossdressing to vivisection of large animals!" -Professor F. once more. And that was all within one hour... __________________ "Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet them that hang! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; Leave me my name!" - The Crucible "nolite hippopotamum vexare!"

02-13-2006, 02:58 PM	#87
*Rían* Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!) Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Not where I want to be ... Posts: 15,254	he sounds like great fun, Maggie! I had a wonderful math teacher who was Polish and loved to tell Polish jokes. __________________ . I should be doing the laundry, but this is MUCH more fun! Ñá ë?* óú éä ïöü Öñ É Þ ð ß ® ç å ™ æ ♪ ?* "How lovely are Thy dwelling places, O Lord of hosts! ... For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside." (from Psalm 84) * * * God rocks! Entmoot : Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I got hooked! Ego numquam pronunciare mendacium, sed ego sum homo indomitus! Run the earth and watch the sky ... Auta i lómë! Aurë entuluva!

02-14-2006, 02:10 AM	#88
crickhollow The Buckleberry Fairy/Captain Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Washington State again (I miss Texas). Posts: 1,345	ha! i just cracked myself up, reading this thread. What good memories. I had a Western Civ. prof who always used to say, "your freedom to swing your fist ends where my nose begins." Which I suppose is really quite true. __________________ A day will come at last when I Shall take the hidden paths that run West of the Moon, East of the Sun.

02-14-2006, 02:15 AM	#89
Count Comfect Word Santa Claus Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 2,922	Ah, if only I'd seen this thread 3 years ago when we were compiling the list of "Truaxioms" from my history teacher, Mr. Truax. Alas, I no longer have it. However, my philosophy professor was to blame today for accusing anthropologists of living in a "subphilosophical netherworld of stupidity." __________________ Sufficient to have stood, yet free to fall.

02-15-2006, 11:38 PM	#90
gollum9630 Canadian Guy. Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: The true North Strong and Free Posts: 1,513	"I love to torment my wife and kids. My daughters really easy to tormetnt, all I have to do is dance in front of her friends" (he then started to dance) -my econ prof "All I could think about was 'ooh Canada, penguins'" -my poli-sci prof on moving to Canada from South Africa __________________ "Canadians are so apathetic, but, what are you gonna do about it" -Glen Foster Wierd Harry Potter quotes the old nintendo duck hunt game Lemmings Swron Random Homer Simpson Quotes

02-16-2006, 03:42 PM	#91
truthiscool Enting Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Arkansas Posts: 86	IM lost Help Plz __________________ There are those in the world who do not understand that our time is limited and so they wast it but in the end when they stand before god the will realize what a mistake they made.

03-09-2006, 11:37 AM	#92
E, LoR Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: somewhere else. Posts: 368	my teacher always says "here's the thing". and then, there was one time when we were being really, um, awful, and not paying all that much attention and then she said. "act your age, not your shoe size!" that just made us crack up more... __________________ NEWS FLASH 1. I have a signature 2. I am ready to join forces with Elanor's Angel to kill the rule. Special Let's pant the world in magic in 90 seconds! avatar courtesy of Twista THATS RIGHT FOLK! E, LoR's BACK!

03-09-2006, 12:57 PM	#93
Rev. Justin Timberlake Andúril the White Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Your thoughts Posts: 672	Me: making noise in science class Teacher: OI!!! You will leave my class, go to the field and talk to the birds. Me: leave class Me & buddy: talking in science class (two years later) Teacher: You know, you don't have to be here. I mean you obviously don't care about what I have to say, so why not just leave? I'm not stopping you. Me & buddy: leave class Oh, and back in 1990: Me: goes to Principal's office Principal: You know, sex is a precious thing that God has given to us... I don't remember the rest but it was funny. __________________ Nothing can stop me now cause I just don't care.

03-13-2006, 12:33 PM	#94
Lady Marion Magdalena Elf Lord Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: In a Field of Giant Daisies. Posts: 821	And today's gem from the latin professor: "Visne, 'do you want'. As in: 'Do you want a ham sandwich?' or 'Do you want someone to do someone - sorry! Something!" __________________ "Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet them that hang! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; Leave me my name!" - The Crucible "nolite hippopotamum vexare!"

03-25-2006, 03:04 AM	#95
trolls' bane Entmoot Secretary of the Treasury Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Campsite-by-Giraffe Posts: 5,408	"OH MY GOD! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! IT'S A DISASTER!!"--Mr Ussery, when satisfied that it was the correct time for our class to begin the "disaster drill," because they didn't set of the fire alarm for some reason. "Please listen at my face."--Mr. Ussery, Geography teacher. "Now that you are finished guessing, please exchange papers and degrade yourselves."--Mr. Ussery, announcing "time's up" on a test. "You may spend the rest of the period exaggerating your popularity with people who you think are your friends."--Mr. Ussery "...this lovely essay. I wrote it...pause, someone laughs...heh! Thanks!"--Mr. Ussery "Finnish (not Swedish!) group project."--Written on board, by Mr. Ussery "...but, and it's a really big but. Thanks! Sorry, I had to crack a joke."--Mr. Ussery More from Mr. Ussery's class... Random Student (loudly): Oh my God! Teacher from next door (who visits a lot): Apology accepted. Another time, this Monday I think, the bell was about or just had rung, and he was having trouble getting the students' attention. So, he sang the word "Listen" in a perfect soprano, then said "Thanks, I wrote that!" "Hey, comrade!"--Mr. Foster, 8th Grade U.S. History, after several days of commenting on my reading Nineteen Eighty-four "Yep! We'll be sending you to OCS. That quantum physics, man, it's not good for you."--Mr. Williams, Digital Art, after I willingly confessed to being the one who looked up the quantum mechanics on the computer, after he had been talking to me and a few other kids about how other kids had destroyed all of his magazines that he had collected and brought in, as well as those that were "looking up stuff they weren't supposed to on the school computers." __________________ KI6PFA Amateur Radio Operator Last edited by trolls' bane : 03-25-2006 at 03:06 AM.

03-25-2006, 03:25 AM	#96
trolls' bane Entmoot Secretary of the Treasury Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Campsite-by-Giraffe Posts: 5,408	Mr. Stedman, 8th Grade Sci. Teacher: "Look at all this! It's garbage. GARBAGE!" (is referring to the big papers that have California state standards, which teachers don't normally complain about out loud, as much as they seem to hate them. It was a particularly bad day.) "It's because of clowns like you that we have to have all of this GARBAGE! I liked my walls just FINE WITHOUT IT!" rips one of them off the wall __________________ KI6PFA Amateur Radio Operator

03-25-2006, 01:36 PM	#98
-elfearz- Elf Lord Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: followed by a moonshadow... Posts: 738	9th grade media studies teacher on (somebody else's! ) report card: Your daughter's result is an insult to us both, but at least I tried.

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