To the Citizens of the United States of America

[Spock]

...this is a late parrot.......

[Insidious Rex]

Originally Posted by Fenir_LacDanan

Well, dearest IR, I dont need you complaint or compliance to bag US beer, and it seems that I'm not the only one. mate.

not at all. but know of what you speak. budweiser aint the extent of beer in the US. Just as Im not so ignorant as to think Fosters is the extent of beer they drink in Australia.

Your flattering the US Beer industry, and you know it.
Even the Turks can priduce a good passable beer when they have to.

passable? quite evidently you havent had an ommegang then or else you would speak otherwise. and i guess you havent had much of our microbrews either. some are fantastic. and really the fact is that if you go out to drink you can get beers from pretty much anywhere. Its a myth that ALL that is on tap is budweiser and coors. in fact washington dc (of all places) has the bar with the WORLDS largest selection of beers under one roof. it seems, my friend, that true american beer connoisseurs UNDERSTAND what good beer is irrelevant of where it comes from and they demand it from their pubs and bars.

Thats not the point. Americans brag about their "fine" beers, and world standard, they are just are not in the same league.

find me an American who brags about Budweiser. We can ridicule him together. But we certainly can brag about our GOOD beer thanks. Because good beer is good beer no matter where its bottled.

This happens to be a matter to which my countrymen have attached a considerable amount of stake. And not without cause. Eurpoe brew's better beers than America.

more specifically Belgium and germany brew the best beer in the world. As I think I have already said…

Originally Posted by Fenir_LacDanan

Sometimes one feels like a slow Lager, when other times someone feels like a thick stout. There are fluctuations in taste.

But, friend, I am yet to here about someone, at that moment of alcohol desire, say that they feel like a light beer.

Men are still men, after all.

I agree with that completely. Light beer is for women who don’t like beer but want to hang out at the bar with their friends as far as I can tell.

Originally Posted by Durin1

Beer is more than just about alcohol content, at least if they're over 5%. You can really start picking out those!!!

Guinness and other stout is great, but you just can't beat a cold PINT of draught lager.

Great? Agreed but you do realize that Guinness is only 4% while bud LIGHT is 4.2%. so careful of your hard and fast rules about alcohol content in relation to taste.

[BeardofPants]

Lin, to add onto Jon's definitions, from urban dictionary:

Bogans

[jerseydevil]

Originally Posted by Jonathan

I couldn't find the word in your dictionary but I found it in the Book of Slang at Macquariedictionary.com.au (good site, I'll bookmark it). Here's what it says:

bogan noun
1. a fool; idiot.
2. WA a lout or hooligan, especially of a particular social group noted for wearing black shirt and jeans.
3. Tasmania a rough lout or hooligan. In Hobart equivalent to a Chigga. [probably from Bogan a river in NSW]

Hmm, could you say that the American equivalent of a bogan is a redneck?

Well it's not a redneck based on the definitions given there anyway. Redneck refers to someone usually with a think southern accent - from the south or the midwest area of the US. They usually seem unitelligent (mostly because of their accent) - they are usually into mud bogging, trucks with huge tires, or old muscle cars. Redneck supposedly comes from Scotland or something - but I always thought the tirm Redneck came about because they wear t-shirts all the time, and they get farmers tans - which make their necks red - but the rest of their body white as a ghost.

[jerseydevil]

According the the definition BoP provided...

Australian term used to describe members of society that are a combination of what the Yanks call Rednecks, Jocks and Trailer Park Trash. most likely found wearing mockies, flanalette shirts and consuming VB (bad Aussie beer). Large amount of bogans can be found living in The Borough, Bendigo, Aust.

Bogan incorporates several distinct American groups of people into one category. For us - Jocks are VERY different than Rednecks.

[Spock]

...this should be reported to The Ministry of Silly Threads.....

[sun-star]

Based on my now exhaustive knowledge of bogans (thanks guys ) I think I can say that they're what we in England call 'chavs'...

[Willow Oran]

I feel it should be pointed out that Irish whiskey is cheaper here in Seattle than it is in Ireland. Bit ironic that.

Aside from that... England can take back the U.S if it likes, just so long as they allow Western Washington to break off and form its own country.

[Elvengirl]

That was hilarious Fal nuff sed

[Falagar]

My thread! It's alive! It's aliiiiive!

Originally Posted by Spock

...this should be reported to The Ministry of Silly Threads.....

Who's the minister there? I demand to see a lawyer...

Then there's the American answer I found on another board (not so funny as the British IMO, as it's more of a "have it back at ya'", but it does have a few good sections. Very informative at any rate. ):

Re: Notice of Revocation of Independence


To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland:

We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always, we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. We hate to ruin your tea-party here, but the sun has, in fact, set on the British Empire! Cheerio!

However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a "backwards step" by the majority of the world.

To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt:

Realize that language is an organic structure, and that you aren't always correct in your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your "aluminium" example. Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name "aluminum" (note spelling) for the metal. However, in common usage the name evolved into "aluminium" to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to switch back to the ORIGINAL spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman).

However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in the original edition were submitted by a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor.

Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue.

Review your basic arithmetic. If you're going to make up an arbitrary statistic, use the same number consistently. (Hint 100 - 98.85 = 1.15 and, 100 - 97.85 = 2.15)

You want English actors cast as good guys? How about Stephen Fry playing Oscar Wilde in "Wilde"? How about Rupert Everett in "The Next Best Thing"? Oh, you want English actors cast as STRAIGHT good guys!

Ahem. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", "Trainspotting", and "The Full Monty". We've also heard good things about this "Billy Elliot". But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on that front.

It's inefficient to have a national anthem that changes its title whenever your monarch dies. Let's not forget that your national anthem has an extremely boring tune. We suggest switching to that Rule Britannia ditty. It's toe- tapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt "Candle In The Wind" yet again for you guys.

Improve at your national sport. Football? Soccer? This just in: United States gets fourth place in men's soccer at the 2000 Summer Olympics. United Kingdom? Not even close. By the way, impressive showing at Euro 2000. You almost managed to get through the tournament without having your fans start an international incident.

Learn how to cook. For your own sake if nobody else's. England has some top notch candy. Salt 'n' Vinegar chips are quite yummy. However, there's a reason why the best food in your country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to the culinary arts are soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. If the French can figure it out, you should be able to.

You're doing a terrible job at understanding cars. The obvious error is that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A second problem is pricing; it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to England than to buy a car in England. On the other hand, we like Jaguars and Aston Martins. That's why we bought the companies. Ground- based wiring?

We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for "Teletubbies".

Thank you for your time. You can now return to watching bad Australian soap operas.

P.S. Regarding World War II: You're Welcome.

[jerseydevil]

Originally Posted by Falagar

Then there's the American answer I found on another board (not so funny as the British IMO, as it's more of a "have it back at ya'", but it does have a few good sections. Very informative at any rate. ):

Well it was a reponse - so of course it would answer all the points that the British one tried to make.

I do like how they mention their cooking - because it does really suck.

[BeardofPants]

Originally Posted by Re: Notice of Revocation of Independence

We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for "Teletubbies".

Classic!

[The Gaffer]

Excellent response. Particularly like the monarchy jibe.

I seem to recall reading something ages ago about UK-US English spelling which said that the original spelling for colour was in fact color, and that it was us that changed.

We are sorry for the teletubbies. If it's any consolation, we're still paying the price.

e-ohh

[Nurvingiel]

The response was just as funny as the original! Nice. Maybe this all would have been better off in the joke thread, oh well.

I love Aston Martins! An American company did buy them... and now their cars aren't as cool. Hmph. Nothing beats the Aston Martin DB 4. Nothing I say!! *end fanatical rant*

[Durin1]

Originally Posted by Insidious Rex

Great? Agreed but you do realize that Guinness is only 4% while bud LIGHT is 4.2%. so careful of your hard and fast rules about alcohol content in relation to taste.

Of course I do, mate, I have drank barrels of the stuff in my time after all!! You will notice that I was referring to Lager - or do you call all alcohol (including stout) beer

LAGER less than 5% IS pointless, and I have tried many in my time.

[Durin1]

You have to laugh at the "lame" attempt from our American cousins for couter-attacking the original article, although i'll admit that I agree with the monarchist point

Here's some suggestions:

If Americans knew about anything outside of their borders, they would realise that most of Britain couldn't give a toss whether we are a world power anymore. Unlike the yanks, we don't need to demonstrate a gung-ho attitude because we have developed those techniques called understanding and conversation, oh and at least our leader Mr Blair knows his way around a map!

The only difference in Canadian and American accents is that at least the Canadians don't sound as if they've got something stuck up their ****.

Those poor excuses regarding language don't hide the real fact that Americans can only write phonetically

Again, if you knew anything about football, you will have noticed that Britain did not field a team at the olympics because of its status. Also, the the olympics only allow you to field a limited number of professional, over 21 players.

American imagination is so brilliant that they have to use cliches about "posh" or cockney Brits in their movies, or identify Britain with Beefeater guards at Buckingham Palace. It's not all red buses you know.

Learn how to cook? Why don't you lot learn how to eat healthily, since you keep breaking your own records on obesity.

As for WW2, yeah thanks, even though it took you 3 years and thousands of lives before you wanted to help, and that after you were attacked on your own doorstep. And what's this "we'll change the whole course of factual history in our movies so we are seen to have won the war single-handedly"??? Then again, most Americans are gullible enough to fall for those old tricks.

Our history and culture goes back thousands of years, most of America's culture only from the advent of tv.

[jerseydevil]

Durin1 -

You really are completely ignorant of America I guess. I see this has become a let's bitch about America thread by some people.

It would be nice if some europeans actually tried to learn about America - instead of just continously believing their own small minded version of it.

[Durin1]

Originally Posted by jerseydevil

Durin1 -

You really are completely ignorant of America I guess. I see this has become a let's bitch about America thread by some people.

It would be nice if some europeans actually tried to learn about America - instead of just continously believing their own small minded version of it.

It is just harmless fun, meant in jest in every way. Obviously all this make-fun-of-america has touched a nerve, but to reassure you, I believe that most of us (me included) are actually quite fond of America and recognise the valuable contribution it has made.

[Spock]

Originally Posted by Durin1

You have to laugh at the "lame" attempt from our American cousins for couter-attacking the original article, although i'll admit that I agree with the monarchist point

Here's some suggestions:

If Americans knew about anything outside of their borders, they would realise that most of Britain couldn't give a toss whether we are a world power anymore. Unlike the yanks, we don't need to demonstrate a gung-ho attitude because we have developed those techniques called understanding and conversation, oh and at least our leader Mr Blair knows his way around a map! WE ARE ONLY REQUIRED TO KNOW WHERE COUNTRIES ARE LOCATED IF WE SEND THEM AID.

The only difference in Canadian and American accents is that at least the Canadians don't sound as if they've got something stuck up their ****.
...BIT HARSH, OL' BEAN

Those poor excuses regarding language don't hide the real fact that Americans can only write phonetically R-U-NUTZ?

Again, if you knew anything about football, you will have noticed that Britain did not field a team at the olympics because of its status. Also, the the olympics only allow you to field a limited number of professional, over 21 players. YOU MEAN I MISSED THE OLYMPICS?

American imagination is so brilliant that they have to use cliches about "posh" or cockney Brits in their movies, or identify Britain with Beefeater guards at Buckingham Palace. It's not all red buses you know.
...NO THERE ARE THE RAVENS TOO.

Learn how to cook? Why don't you lot learn how to eat healthily, since you keep breaking your own records on obesity. THAT'S THE PROBLEM, WE CAN COOK AND WELL..IT'S THE EATING PART THAT NEEDS TO GET UNDER CONTROL. ONE POINT FOR AGREEMENT.

As for WW2, yeah thanks, even though it took you 3 years and thousands of lives before you wanted to help, and that after you were attacked on your own doorstep. And what's this "we'll change the whole course of factual history in our movies so we are seen to have won the war single-handedly"??? Then again, most Americans are gullible enough to fall for those old tricks. HAWAII ISN'T ON OUR DOORSTEP AND ISOLATIONISM PREVAILED IN THE EARLY YEARS. WE DID HELP AND WORK WITH YOUR GUYS WELL, EVEN MONTY GRUDGINLY ADMITTED THAT.

Our history and culture goes back thousands of years, most of America's culture only from the advent of tv.

ARE YOU BESMERCHING HOWDY DOODY?

[jerseydevil]

Originally Posted by Durin1

It is just harmless fun, meant in jest in every way. Obviously all this make-fun-of-america has touched a nerve, but to reassure you, I believe that most of us (me included) are actually quite fond of America and recognise the valuable contribution it has made.

In that case I'm sorry. It's just that what you were posting was standard feelings toward America on entmoot two years ago - and they weren't meant as jokes. I'm now always on the look out for this - since two years ago - threads had to be noted with (no american bashing) and things like that - because it was so prevalent on the board.