04-16-2003, 11:46 AM | #921 | |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Fountain Valley, CA
Posts: 6,343
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Quote:
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04-16-2003, 03:33 PM | #922 |
the Shrike
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA <3
Posts: 10,647
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I know.
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"Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords |
04-17-2003, 04:52 AM | #923 |
Corruptor
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Jozi SA
Posts: 1,885
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Crusty joke # 78 485 595
O please this one can really be funny after at least 1 bottle of wine (each)!
Sadam's son gets home with a box full of groceries Sadam asks him why are the groceries in a box The son answers, because there is no BAGDAD!
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Don't wet yourself with excitement. |
04-17-2003, 06:46 AM | #924 |
the Shrike
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA <3
Posts: 10,647
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*Groan* Somebody gag her?
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"Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords |
04-17-2003, 06:52 AM | #925 |
Corruptor
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Jozi SA
Posts: 1,885
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You asked for it........
Saddam Hussein has appeared on Iraqi TV this morning to quell rumours of his death in an explosion in Baghdad yesterday. To prove that the appearance was not pre-recorded, Saddam stated that he "watched the rugby on Saturday and the Cats were sh*t."
UK and US government officials have dismissed the report saying it could have happened any time over the last 2years. (The Cats are an SA rugby team in case you didn't know) *runs away from BoP & her gags* Hey man it's just a little gag joke
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Don't wet yourself with excitement. |
04-17-2003, 07:35 AM | #926 | |
The Buddy Rabbit
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Trapped in the headlights..
Posts: 3,372
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Re: You asked for it........
Quote:
Nice ter see ya made it back to the perilous forest K' .....not that I've been here meself much lately....... |
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04-17-2003, 07:45 AM | #927 | |
Corruptor
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Jozi SA
Posts: 1,885
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Re: Re: You asked for it........
Quote:
Erm so sorry sir - you want me to blow yer what? Yeah - got bored & the medication's wearing off, what can I say?
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Don't wet yourself with excitement. |
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04-17-2003, 10:29 AM | #928 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Ilha Formosa
Posts: 2,068
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Ok, I don't know if this is too far over the top (in self-defense I heard it from an Aussie): [EDITED]
Apologies Sorry buddy. Just a tad beyond what I would consider PG-13 Last edited by Sister Golden Hair
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Glendower: I can call spirits from the vasty deep. Hotspur: Why, so can I, or so can any man; But will they come when you do call for them? "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us, cats look down on us, but pigs treat us as equals."- Winston Churchill |
04-17-2003, 11:20 AM | #929 |
Quasi Evil
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Maryland, US
Posts: 4,634
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Well since we are doing Iraq themed jokes. Heres a skit from last weeks PHC that I thought was pretty funny:
Ketchup Advisory Board BARB: These are the good years for Jim and me. Our son is in a program where they treat testosterone poisoning with herbal tea and he seems to be doing well. Our daughter has finally gotten her Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in spatter painting and beadwork, so---- we should have been happy. And then last week I found Jim with his head in the refrigerator. ---- What are you doing, honey? JIM: Barb, there are ruthless forces at work in our refrigerator ---- chemical and biological entities --- and I'm adopting a new pre-emptive strategy toward micro-organisms. Bacteria. Bacilli. Call it what you will. I've been as patient as I could be and now is the time to take action. BARB: Do you see any signs of bacteria? Is something moving in there? JIM: Barb, the absence of proof is not proof of absence. To wait until we see evidence is to run a risk I am not willing to run. BARB: Are you talking about the blue cheese, Jim? JIM: I'm not free to disclose exactly what I'm talking about, I just want you to know that starting today, I am taking over the refrigerator. And at a time of my choosing, I'm going to spray it with two gallons of windshield washer fluid. BARB: Jim, that's crazy. You're going to ruin the cheese. JIM: There will be some collateral damage in the cheese and meat tray, yes. I don't deny that. And now I'm going to take just two more questions---- BARB: Jim, I think you've been watching too much CNN. JIM: I am not going to stand by and watch this household destroyed by salmonella. Barb, there are the known unknowns, the things we know we don't know, and the known knowns, such as that the world will always welcome lovers as time goes by. And this is one of the unknown unknowns, things we don't know we don't know.
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"People's political beliefs don't stem from the factual information they've acquired. Far more the facts people choose to believe are the product of their political beliefs." "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." Last edited by Insidious Rex : 04-17-2003 at 11:21 AM. |
04-17-2003, 12:12 PM | #930 |
Queen of Nargothrond
Administrator Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Akron, Ohio - USA
Posts: 7,121
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NOTE- Keep it clean folks.
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04-17-2003, 12:21 PM | #931 |
The Buddy Rabbit
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Trapped in the headlights..
Posts: 3,372
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Full integration of the nations!
(New) Iraqi TV guide Intended as a pre-invasion joke, still worth a laugh tho'
MONDAYS 8.00 - Husseinfeld 8.30 - Mad about Everything 9.00 - Suddenly Sanctions 9.30 - Everybody loves Saddam 10.00 - Allah McBeal Tuesdays 8.00 - Wheel of terror and fortune 8.30 - Buffy the yankee Imperialist dog slayer 9.00 - Women are forbidden from saying the darndest things 9.30 - The price is right if Saddam says It's Right Wednesday 8.00- Goodnight America (UK) 8.30 - Third rock from Iraq 9.00 - Two Guys, a girl and a pitta bread Thursday 8.00 - Lifestyle of the dirty, poor and dusty 8.30 - West wing ER 9.00 - Veilwatch 9.30 - Who wants to be a Martyr 10.00 - Veronica's closet full of long black shapeless dresses and veils Friday 8.00 - Judge Laden 8.30 - My two Bagdads 9.00 - Achmed's Creek 9.30 - No witness news 10.00 - Wild wild mid east 10.30 - I dream of Jihad |
04-17-2003, 12:25 PM | #932 | |
Quasi Evil
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Maryland, US
Posts: 4,634
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Quote:
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"People's political beliefs don't stem from the factual information they've acquired. Far more the facts people choose to believe are the product of their political beliefs." "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." |
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04-17-2003, 03:19 PM | #933 |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA
Posts: 10,820
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I especially liked Third Rock and Buffy, though they're all laugh-worthy, as I've just proven.
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04-17-2003, 11:19 PM | #934 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Fountain Valley, CA
Posts: 6,343
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On the news, we just learned today that France and Russia are refusing to allow us to get the sanctions lifted on Iraq, to get their country back in order, unless the U.S. gives them a larger role in the reconstruction of Iraq.
Does anyone else have any further information on that? |
04-18-2003, 01:08 AM | #935 | ||
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
Posts: 9,431
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Quote:
You might interested in this. As for all the people who said that the US public's boycott woudl not hurt the French - yoiu were wrong.... Quote:
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04-18-2003, 01:17 AM | #936 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
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continued...
Quote:
The UN WILL play a role - but I think the US is going to get blamed for ANY failures - whether the UN has a part or not. If we're going to be blamed for a failed democracy - I would rather it be our failure and accept it then having to be blamed for some other organisations failure. The UN has not brought peace to the world, it has not established any democracies. France is currently trying to get back into the good graces of America. We'll just have to see what France's ultimate goal is. Analysts are finally talking about something that I mentioned long ago - that France want to create a Franco, German, Russian alliance to go against the US and our allies. Blair even brought this up in a speech to parliament a couple of days ago. A n ally is not a country whose people say that would rather see Iraq win the war. WEe won the war - now it is AMERICA'S responsibilty to win the peace. We want the worlds helpp - just like we wanted it to take out Hussein - but we should be the one's leading. We're the one's who sacrificed and we're the one's who will still get blamed regardless of who leads if anything goes wrong.
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide Last edited by jerseydevil : 04-18-2003 at 02:04 AM. |
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04-18-2003, 01:51 AM | #937 |
the Shrike
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA <3
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All I've heard on the matter of sanctions is that the UN doesn't want to lift them until it's been conclusively proven that Iraq doesn't have WMD.
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"Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords |
04-18-2003, 02:08 AM | #938 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
Posts: 9,431
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Quote:
It's also amazaing that for the past 10 years france has wanted the sanctions lifted - now they're going to try keeping them in place? The sanctions serve absolutely no purpose now - the government they were issued against no longer exists.
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide Last edited by jerseydevil : 04-18-2003 at 02:10 AM. |
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04-18-2003, 02:14 AM | #939 |
the Shrike
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA <3
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Just repeating what I heard, JD. Keep yer knickers on.
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"Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords |
04-18-2003, 02:47 AM | #940 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
Posts: 9,431
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Quote:
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
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