03-16-2006, 03:03 PM | #861 | |
Ring-smith
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Either walking across Rohan or riding through Fangorn forest
Posts: 2,000
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Legolas:Why the wrighter as turned to shakspeer this post is beond me, but I hope you enjoying this as it will be the last one I'm going to do this in!!!
(Exunt, whatever that meens) __________________ Arwen as Juliet:Romeo, Romeo, wereforart thou, Romeo? Aragorn as Romeoown here! Arwen as Juliet:No! That's not what you're sopost to say! Aragorn as Romeo:These lines are as silly as 152 penguins on a telephone line! I'm much better ad libing. Arwen as Juliet:There is no ad libing in Shakspeer! __________________ (Aragorn and Borameer are walking along in mordor, they come to Gandalf, Saruman, and Ragast) Gandalf, Saruman, and Ragast:Toil toil- Aragorn:This is to much! (Aragorn decapatates everyone exept himself) Aragorn:Why did I kill poor Borameer? (Enter Eowen with sword) Eowen:I am no man! (Eowen stabs Aragorn in the back) Aragorn:This is not in the script... (Aragorn drops dead) __________________ Turanduril:Go take this magic dust, you'll find a sleeping man in the forest, use it on him. Legolas:Yes sir! (Later in the forest) Legolas:Okay, here's the guy, now I just sprinkle this stuff on him (Legolas sprinkles the dust on Aragorn, who is asleep) Legolas:Oh what fools these mortals be! I forget my lines! Gandalf(In a directors cap):Cut! Come on! You're an elf! You should remember this stuff! Legolas:That's raceal discrimanation. (Gandalf turns Legolas into a giant pink fluffy bunny) __________________ Aragorn:To be or not to be? That is the question! Weather tis nobler to... I forget my lines. __________________ (The rest of this post isn't shakspeer spoofs) __________________ Gandalf:I am the very modal of a modern magor genaral, I know information Animal, Vetchtable and Minaral, I know all the kings of england and.... (After all this) Lead corsare:Why should we not attack you? Gandalf:I am a orfen boy. Lead corsareo you meen orfan as in very frequently or orfen as in someone without parents. Gandalf:Someone without parents. Lead corsare:Our corsare laws protect you! __________________ Eowen:I am no man! Lead nasguil:I think we all know that by now. Eowen:Huh? Lead nasguil:You've said it orfen. Eoweno you meen orfen frequently or orfen someone without parents? Lead nasguil:Orfen, frequently. Eowen:Ah, __________________ Aragorn:I am the very noodle of modern meger genaral, I know information literal, bilateral, and minaral I know the kings of scotland and- Gandalf(Again in directors cap):You messed up that song so much I'm fireing you! Aragorn:Okay... (Aragorn starts to leave then Gandalf lights him on fire) __________________ (At the black gate) Aragorn:Eulia! Pippin:He hasn't read any of thouse books in a long time.
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Thread killer Ring smith Merry Christmas! They'd never say that (Part 2) What happened to the dragon? |
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03-16-2006, 08:51 PM | #862 |
Entmoot Secretary of the Treasury
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Campsite-by-Giraffe
Posts: 5,408
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LOL! But how does "orphan" mean "very frequently"? Never heard of that usage. Dialogue for often?
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03-17-2006, 07:07 PM | #863 | ||
Ring-smith
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Either walking across Rohan or riding through Fangorn forest
Posts: 2,000
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Quote:
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Thread killer Ring smith Merry Christmas! They'd never say that (Part 2) What happened to the dragon? |
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03-23-2006, 12:30 AM | #864 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Hiding under my bed reading LOTR at 1:43am, Middle earth (Seattle WA)
Posts: 1,239
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Shelob- Naw thanks, I'm on a diet....
Popcorn Ork- I'm too sexy for this war, too sexy for this war... Gimli- Does this axe make me look fat? Gimli- *hem hem* Galadriel, dear, I think you need to wax.... Faramer- Thats SIR Runs with scizors to you! Eomer to Eowyn- Hey good lookin! Faramer (with shrink)- It makes me feal inadiquate and undervalued! *cries* daddy!!! Aragorn (With company)- Were knights of the round table! Aragorn- on second thought, RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!
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03-24-2006, 01:14 AM | #865 | |
Entmoot Secretary of the Treasury
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Campsite-by-Giraffe
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I love that Shelob one. Hmm...I didn't realize incest was allowed in Rohan. Maybe I should move there: it would make absolutely no impact on my life whatsoever. Ah, I just love being an only child (you don't have to share the computer, for one thing!).
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03-24-2006, 02:41 AM | #866 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Hiding under my bed reading LOTR at 1:43am, Middle earth (Seattle WA)
Posts: 1,239
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Thank you! (Lucky! EA is oldest of 3...)
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03-24-2006, 02:43 AM | #867 |
Elf Lord
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Location: Hiding under my bed reading LOTR at 1:43am, Middle earth (Seattle WA)
Posts: 1,239
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Princess Runs-with-scissors!
You know that ork that looks like he is fresh from the microwave? He spits on the castle bolder thing after narrowly dogeing it.....
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03-24-2006, 03:02 AM | #868 | |
Entmoot Secretary of the Treasury
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Quote:
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04-17-2006, 05:33 PM | #869 | |
Ring-smith
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Either walking across Rohan or riding through Fangorn forest
Posts: 2,000
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(Frodo and Gandalf are talking in rivendale)
Frodo:So can you make a nice cheese sandwhich with this ring? Gandalf:Yes, but the ham sandwhich is better, you'll need the ring of mayo if you want it just right... Frodo(Narating):It was about then that I realised that Gandalf didn't know what he was talking about... Gandalf:However useing a ring of mayo is very dangerus... Frodo:So do you know were the rings of mayo are? Gandalf:Yes... they were forged by the sub sandwhich smiths of long long ago... now they are scattered. Frodo:What if Souron got a mayo ring? Gandalf:Then all of rohan would be a sandwhich! Frodo(Again narating):And that's when I realised that Gandy had compleatly lost his marbles... Gandalf:He already has the ring of Backyards and the ring of picnic blankets! If he got a ring of mayo he could make a picnic! Frodo:And what's wrong with that? Gandalf:Then all would be lost!!! Frodo:Why? Gandalf:The river isen would be soda and the misty mounten would be covered in ice cream! Frodo:Help! Gandalf:The shire would be covered one big mess of french frys and Gondor would have to much bratworst! (Two elven gaurds show up) Gandalf:Souron must not get a ring of mayo! He musen't! Frodo(Narating):And then ol' Gandy got to live in a room with padded walls and lived happly ever after
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Thread killer Ring smith Merry Christmas! They'd never say that (Part 2) What happened to the dragon? |
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04-17-2006, 05:45 PM | #870 | |
Spaceman Spiff
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In the belly of a Firefly, living in Serenity is where you'll find me
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04-17-2006, 06:02 PM | #871 | |
The Black Númenórean
Join Date: Feb 2003
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Agh, sounds like a stoner version of LOTR.
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Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. |
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04-17-2006, 06:10 PM | #872 |
Spaceman Spiff
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Location: In the belly of a Firefly, living in Serenity is where you'll find me
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Is that why I have the munchies?
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04-20-2006, 01:00 AM | #873 | ||
Ring-smith
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Either walking across Rohan or riding through Fangorn forest
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Quote:
(Gandalf on entmoot ) Gandalf:Hmm... what should my user-name be... maybe "Gandalf"?... (it might be taken it might not, I've been up to late) Gandalf:Oh, it's taken? Who would have taken my name? SARUMAN!!! HE GOT HERE FIRST!!! (Saruman enters room) Saruman:Hey... Gandalfid you use my name on the web site? Saruman:No, why would I post on the messige board of a web site that hasn't updated this melenia! (No offence but I'm trying to make Saruman seem hughty) Gandalf:If you didn't then... (Souron enters room with coffie cup that says 'worlds best firey eye') Souron:Hi... Gandalfid you use my name on here? Souron:No, I don't like dissgusing my defeat. FrodoE AGONY OF DE FEAT! (I've been up to late and I'm shure the great eye is going to show up on the computer screen, almost shure... maybe...)
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Thread killer Ring smith Merry Christmas! They'd never say that (Part 2) What happened to the dragon? |
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04-20-2006, 06:11 PM | #874 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Hiding under my bed reading LOTR at 1:43am, Middle earth (Seattle WA)
Posts: 1,239
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(I know there are others like this)
sam: Frodo- *insert curse here* this! I'm going home! See ya!
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04-20-2006, 08:11 PM | #875 |
Dreamweaver
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Misty Mountains, where the spirits go...
Posts: 3,560
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[at the Cracks of Doom]
Frodo: the ring is mine! Sam: no mr. frodo! Gollum: it's ours! [frodo and gollum enter battle stances] Announcer: ladies and gentlemen! tonight, for yor viewing pleasure, we have two powerful contestants! in this corner- S: oh , shut up! [throws frying pan] F: anyway, er, die! [attacks] S: well, i guess i'll just watch than...good thing i brought some strawberries and cream... [gollum is trying to shove frodo over the edge] [in walks bolger!] Fatty: oh! 'ello frodo old boy! how you been? who's this bloke, eh? Frodo: well, fatso, i'm kind of in the middle of something here... Gollum: bloke? what's a bloke, precious? eh? what's a bloke? gollum! gollum! Fatty: oi! what a nasty little blighter! let's see if we can take him down, mates! [fatty hurls gollum over the edge with a flick of his wrist] Frodo: how'd you do that, eh? Fatty: well, you see, i eat my spinach and drink my milk, like all growing boys should...mate... Frodo: oh...well...[tosses ring into fire]let's get outta here...and stop talking like the crocadile hunter! Fatty: what d'you mean, mate? crikey... [walk out, hand in hand] [fade into sam and phsychiatrist's{sp?}] Sam: and than he walked out, and i never saw him again...but i'll never be able to forget him...oh, mr. frodo!
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Lord, what fools these mortals be! ---------------- We are the music-makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams; World-losers and world-forsakers, On whom the pale moon gleams: Yet we are the movers and shakers Of the world for ever, it seems. ---------------- Shanti, shanti, shantih... |
04-20-2006, 08:14 PM | #876 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Hiding under my bed reading LOTR at 1:43am, Middle earth (Seattle WA)
Posts: 1,239
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Lol!
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04-20-2006, 08:16 PM | #877 |
Dreamweaver
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Misty Mountains, where the spirits go...
Posts: 3,560
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[bows] graci...
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Lord, what fools these mortals be! ---------------- We are the music-makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams; World-losers and world-forsakers, On whom the pale moon gleams: Yet we are the movers and shakers Of the world for ever, it seems. ---------------- Shanti, shanti, shantih... |
04-20-2006, 08:26 PM | #878 |
Elf Lord
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Hiding under my bed reading LOTR at 1:43am, Middle earth (Seattle WA)
Posts: 1,239
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Aragorn: (At reunion with Arwen) Dang it! Your back! I was hopeing I'd have a chance with Eowyn! She is so much hotter than you!
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04-20-2006, 08:32 PM | #879 |
Dreamweaver
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Misty Mountains, where the spirits go...
Posts: 3,560
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gandalf: there are some who call me...tim?
--- gandalf [yet again] in moria: none shall pass! balrog: i have no quarrel with you, good sir wizard. gandalf: none shall pass! balrog: but i must cross this bridge! gandalf: than you shall die! --- boromir: [blows horn] and i think to myself, what a wonderful world...[blows horn] oh bugger it...[blows horn] --- saruman [old lady voice]: and i said to radagast, look, you, if you want to borrow some sugar, just ask! the silly boy! anyway- gandalf:er, saruman, the cameras back on... saruman: oh....er...like i was saying...[deep masculine voice] you have elected, the way, OF PAIN! ---
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Lord, what fools these mortals be! ---------------- We are the music-makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams, Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams; World-losers and world-forsakers, On whom the pale moon gleams: Yet we are the movers and shakers Of the world for ever, it seems. ---------------- Shanti, shanti, shantih... |
04-20-2006, 08:38 PM | #880 | ||
Spaceman Spiff
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In the belly of a Firefly, living in Serenity is where you'll find me
Posts: 1,438
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Quote:
Quote:
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