08-11-2002, 07:03 PM | #61 |
im quite stupid
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Guess i just forgot im dislexic u must forgive me if my thoughs dont make much sence.
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08-11-2002, 07:18 PM | #62 |
Bard of Mangled Songs
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Before I got spanked, my dad always made it clear what I did wrong. I think with the short attention spans of very young kids, spanking makes you remember what you did wrong. He used his belt but he was very skillful at it that I felt the pain of the whakc but it did not leave any marks.
When I was 7, my dad said I was too old to be spanked. I almost missed it but I never forgot that moment since I felt more mature and a bit sad that I was no longer a treated as a kid. I felt this even more when I entered college. When my grades were low on a subject or two, he didn't get angry but told me it'll be alright; that I'm grown up and he was sure I'd make the right decisions. I was near tears though I wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or be so happy to feel loved.
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08-11-2002, 07:23 PM | #63 |
im quite stupid
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So we all all pretty much in favor of spanking? I know i wont ever abuse my kids like some people have and i am sad to say allways will.
Spanking didnt do me any harm and i hope i do as good a job as my perents did when my kids step out of line. I will spank my children. But theres a diffrence bettween been spanked and spanking will people here that dont mind been spanked spank themseleves (hmmmm that didnt come out right but u know what i mean)
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Yeah god hes ok but i would rather be judged by a sheep than that idiot |
08-11-2002, 10:34 PM | #64 |
Slacker
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My two cents: Yea. You need discipline, just don't cross the line into abuse.
And I have experienced "the switch". A Southern discipline indeed.
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08-12-2002, 02:06 AM | #65 |
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The evil switch. In the North, Blacks use it too. Or, at least used to. (Probably brought it up from the South.)
I had a conversation with a friend about that. He said that was the real torture because parents made you go choose the switch. This was after you were told why you were being punished. So, you had time to reflect on the "crime". JD in "some ways" it seems we had the same household.
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08-12-2002, 04:30 AM | #66 | |
Elf Lord
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But thats just making a child scared and frightened. Theyre teaching by fear. You have to specify where to draw the line all you yay smacking. We have something called the NSPCC here which takes in children who are abused aka hit. how can you choose when to protect a child? In the parents mind when they hit a child they are doing something wrong even if its being born as some sick minded abusers think.
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08-12-2002, 04:53 AM | #67 | ||
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I see you're all focused on discipline and punishment. These words are not often used here. Even yelling at children is not considered desirable. I'm a parent myself. When my children does something wrong, I explain to them what they did bad and why it was wrong, and I suggest an alternative to their bad actions. This is the way most Norwegian parents are handling their kids. The approach clearly works out well, since grown-ups in my country are generally normal and well-behaved. So spanking seem pointless, just producing unnessecary pain.
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08-12-2002, 05:27 AM | #68 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
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08-12-2002, 06:06 AM | #69 | ||
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It seems as if all the people here that were hit as children - today have no ill affects from it. So to say that one is better than the other is just going by feeling and personal opinion. All the people that I have seen that use just talking and times outs on their children - don't have children that listen to them at any other times. They are CONSTANTLY being timed out. Sometimes several times a day. I don't know if there is a study out there - I'm sure there must be some where. But my feeling stands that punishment and disciplining need to be geared toward the child. Also - it's not the government's business or others to determine the way a parent disciplines their child. Outsiders don't live in the house. I do draw the line if a child is coming into school or something with black and blue marks or welts. But hitting a child for serious things - ESPECIALLY if it's something they do over and over again regardless of being talked to - is okay. I just don't see where hitting had any ill affects on me actually. Did I want to be hit? No, of course not. Did I deserve it sometimes? I think I did. But I don't really remember what any of them were for except for the fire incident. Would I have listened if my parents just talked to me? No, because I was an independant person. For one thing I never thought adults were above me. If they told me not to do something - and I disagreed - I'd do it anyway. My parents always knew how I felt about things and I always let them know my opinion on stuff. If my parents just sat me down to talk every time I did something on why I shouldn't do it. I wouldn't be paying attention to why I shouldn't be doing it - I'd be thinking - the next time I have to be more careful so I don't get caught. And thinking about how not to get caught. Now if I was hit - that carried serious consequences. That would really make me think twice.
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08-12-2002, 06:14 AM | #70 |
im quite stupid
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Spanking in my mind is good but i do know of an example of when it loses all effect. My old next door neighbour used to put his kids across his knee all the time. Admitally they had been naughty but this would happen weekly it lost all effect. Its like telling your gf you love her tell her every day and it dont mean as much just tell her occasionally when she need to hear its far more effective
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Yeah god hes ok but i would rather be judged by a sheep than that idiot |
08-12-2002, 06:32 AM | #71 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
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My mother probably would have hit my brother if she hadn't asked him what he needed a garbage bag for and instead found him jumping from the chimney and using the garbage bag as a parachute as he planned. He was 5 or 6 years old. I like your analogy by the way Sween.
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide Last edited by jerseydevil : 08-12-2002 at 06:42 AM. |
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08-12-2002, 07:01 AM | #72 | ||
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08-12-2002, 07:05 AM | #73 |
Greatest Elven woman of Aman
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I also want to add that when I'm saying that punishment and discipline towards children are not often used, it goes for the entire society and not only in our family.
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08-12-2002, 07:08 AM | #74 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
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08-12-2002, 08:36 AM | #75 |
im quite stupid
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The most effective thing my mum did was cry i hate to see my mum cry it really pains me i could never stand it she used to do that as well if i see ive upset someone i feel awful (esspecially my mum)
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Yeah god hes ok but i would rather be judged by a sheep than that idiot |
08-12-2002, 09:25 AM | #76 |
Domesticated Swing Babe
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Hi Artanis, I'm curious now! How old are your children, boys or girls?
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08-12-2002, 09:38 AM | #77 |
Greatest Elven woman of Aman
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Girl age 7, two boys 3 and 1. And your son Lizra, how old is he?
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--Life is hard, and then we die. Last edited by Artanis : 08-12-2002 at 09:43 AM. |
08-12-2002, 09:48 AM | #78 |
Domesticated Swing Babe
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6, he starts first grade tomorrow!! I have a 17 year old daughter also, but she is a sweetie. My son is very interested in doing it his way, we love each other dearly, but he seems to consider me an obstacle sometimes. We're working on it!
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08-12-2002, 11:36 AM | #79 |
Elven Warrior
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i think i like the way Artanis uses punishment, it seems a much gentler approach to wards things and clearly it works- in that society. why though do you suppose t doesn't work as well/at all in other societies?
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08-12-2002, 12:48 PM | #80 |
Elf Lord
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I've had my hand smacked away from hot things and things I shouldn't touch, and then I was explained why I shouldn't touch them. It didn't quench the fire of my curiousity (sp?) and I'm still known to put myself into potentially dangerous situations because I'm naturally curious about it.
I would rather my children be smacked lightly on the hand than burn their hands, or worse, manage to pull boiling water or oil onto themselves. There is a difference between spanking and abuse. Abuse leaves marks, and when done right, spanking doesn't. Some people on this thread have mentioned that it didn't even really hurt, but they realized they had done something wrong.
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