"Temporary" Venting Thread V

[Earniel]

I've had it with family that thinks you owe them and no matter what you do always expect you to solve their -often self-inflicted- problems for them and drop everything and do it now.

I've had it with family that no matter how you bend over to accomodate them still accuse you of cheating them! When all they have to do every month is hold their hand open for money to drop into it.

I've had it with family that expects you to hold the big family parties at your home because you have 'a lot more space' when frankly, they just want the party without having to bother with the preparations and the cleaning up afterwards. Go to an effing restaurant then! Unlike you, we're actually busy.

I've had it with family that will burden you with their tiny problems, but can't be bothered to even listen to your more serious problems like stress, medical issues or losing your job. Dude, I wish I had your problems!

I've had it with family that you can never depend on, who never say sorry for anything, can't admit to any error, and expects you to listen to them in matters where your experience is far greater.

I've had it with family that accuses you for the taxes they have to pay. Want less taxes? Earn less. Oh seriously? You want us to pay the difference so you can continue to live your leisurely life while we have to actually work for that money?

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!

Had to vent. I don't have much family, but with that branch of the family, I'd almost wish I even had less.

[Mari]

Sometimes family can be a huge pain in the behind. I'm sorry they can't be more considerate.
*hugs*

[Valandil]

Originally Posted by Eärniel

I've had it with family that thinks you owe them and no matter what you do always expect you to solve their -often self-inflicted- problems for them and drop everything and do it now.

I've had it with family that no matter how you bend over to accomodate them still accuse you of cheating them! When all they have to do every month is hold their hand open for money to drop into it.

I've had it with family that expects you to hold the big family parties at your home because you have 'a lot more space' when frankly, they just want the party without having to bother with the preparations and the cleaning up afterwards. Go to an effing restaurant then! Unlike you, we're actually busy.

I've had it with family that will burden you with their tiny problems, but can't be bothered to even listen to your more serious problems like stress, medical issues or losing your job. Dude, I wish I had your problems!

I've had it with family that you can never depend on, who never say sorry for anything, can't admit to any error, and expects you to listen to them in matters where your experience is far greater.

I've had it with family that accuses you for the taxes they have to pay. Want less taxes? Earn less. Oh seriously? You want us to pay the difference so you can continue to live your leisurely life while we have to actually work for that money?

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!

Had to vent. I don't have much family, but with that branch of the family, I'd almost wish I even had less.

I used to work with another JRRT fan, who referred to 'that' branch of his family as the "Sackville-_______ (fill in your family name)"

[Earniel]

Tempting, I must admit. Fitting too.

At least Bilbo had a ring that allowed him to disappear from having to face the Sackvilles. Unfortunately this Lobelia isn't satisfied with having Bag's End and Bilbo's silver spoons...

[Tessar]

Aww. *hugs for Earniel*

[Tessar]

I am having severe issues with my mother.

Apparently, according to her blog, I'm a besti-pedo-rapist woman/child hater who disgraces heterosexual people. Obviously she hasn't named me, or talked about me specifically, and she doesn't realize I've read her blog (stumbled across it by accident while playing a video game on her laptop).

I feel fantastic about my relationship with my mother right now.

[Mari]

It sounds like she seriously needs to sit down with you and have a straightforward, cards on the table conversation, but that also doesn't really seem to be her strongest point.
Tess, I'm really sorry she can't seem to accept you as the wonderful person you are. *squeezy tight hugs*

[Tessar]

Thanks, Mari. It's her opinion, and she is certainly entitled to it.

I have hopes that when I am able to move out in another year or so our relationship will improve, just because she will not be so aware of where I am. For instance running around and telling everyone in my family that she's sure I'm sleeping around whenever I'm out late.

But I guess being a whore is just to be expected when you're a pedo-besti-rapist. We all know "studying" and "rehearsal" are just code words for, "sleeping with Stanley, Bob, Michael, Jack, and Tom."

[Mari]

Well yes, she's entitled to it, but if she doesn't take the time to sit down with you and ask questions for you to answer her opinion is based on nothing more than prejudice and, I hope this doesn't offend you since she's still your mother, slander.

But I do know a Stanley, Bob, Michael and Tom (not a Jack). I should ask what code words they use for sneaking out. Perhaps they have a few more inconspicuous ones for you, because let's face it: no student ever really studies. We all know that.

[Nautipus]

Sorry, Tess. That's never fun to hear. Speaking of parents, though:

It's the end of the day for me, I've been working since 7 am and stopped at 4:30 pm. I'm covered in sweat, mud, river water, rain water, unknown tons and types of pieces of vegetation, and chicken fluids. Live chicken fluids. I've worked hard all day, and am now ready to rest, because I am physically exhausted. I'm also emotionally exhausted. Because my father and step-mother are neither capable of being pleased, nor of being sane. They are both literally insane. They both take medication for their disorders. They both need more meds. I am tired of being treated like a farm implement and not a person. I would like to make something clear: I am not peeved because I worked hard, I am extremely pi$$ed because these two people who try to control my life are drowning in their own angry, depressed, sick little whirlpool, and they are trying to drag anyone they can down with them.
I'm tired of these people owning me. I'm tired of them refusing to help me out financially during school, even though it's only 1200 bucks I will owe the school, and they make their money in the high six-figure range. I'm exhausted over the constant screaming matches, and how tense everything is in their circle of influence. I've made arrangements to stay at my cousin's house next summer, and they are not aware of this, because it's stuck in their heads that I love it here so much I'll come back for EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL BREAK. What's really funny is that my sister is doing the same thing, and she's 17. It's a mass exodus from that house.
I'm tired of being emotionally bludgeoned, and watching it happen to others. These people literally sicken me, and I will have no more of it. If I didn't need their meager amount of help they are willing to give, I wouldn't still be here. But after august, I will never see my father again, and good riddance.


Done.

[Mari]

Sounds like you need a pillow to do whatever you please with it: use it for cuddles, pillow fights, punching bags... pillows are all-round Good Things to have. So here *hands over a few pillows from her secret stash to Nauti, Tess and anyone else who can give a good reason for needing one of my beloved pillows*

[Tessar]

Yikes, Nauti. O_o Good luck.

[GrayMouser]

Wow! Dysfunctional Family Dayz on the 'Moot.

Hugs to everyone.

[Rían]

I second that!!! So sorry, guys I definitely have my Sackville-____ branches of the family, too. Two branches, in fact.

We've had to distance ourselves from my one difficult sister-in-law who is a hard-core user, among other issues. They just got back from vacation, and what is her first call to me? She wants to know if my son can go with her son to Jump Street (a fun trampoline place that they both love). Sure, says I, as I wait for the other shoe to fall. It comes right away - can I possibly pick them up if she drops them off? Sure, says I - that's reasonable (and totally expected - God Forbid she should do any more than her half! ). A few minutes later, a call back - can I possibly take them, too? Anyway, I've learned to say no over these past few years, and I said no. I repeated that I can pick them up, but I have other things planned. So finally she folds and takes them (and I pick them up). And things like that are just the tiny tip of a huge iceberg. And this little incident was nothing much compared to her usual M.O. - she's an expert at pushing off her responsibilities onto others such that if you DON'T pick up her responsibilities, someone else (anyone but her) gets hurt. So you're stuck with a no-win situation - hurt her kids or someone else, or enable her using. At least her kids are older now and it's not dangerous to not take them home from school when she continually forgets to pick them up, or plans a doctor visit during pick-up time, etc. etc. I'd never leave them in a dangerous situation, and when they were younger, I just had to take them. But now, I just have to often leave them, because it's not healthy to let her use us over and over and over and OVER and OVER ...

I've had to learn to set big-time boundaries since I've moved here. Polite but firm. It's sad that it has to happen, but it does. And then they end up saying bad things about me! like there's something wrong with me for not taking on all their responsibilities. Well, sounds like there's quite a few Sackville- branches of families on the Moot I guess we just have to keep doing what we think is right in as loving a way as possible (and this includes not enabling them), and let them do and say what they will.

[Rían]

I hate to post this, but I gotta let it out - *sigh* we need marriage and family counseling big-time ... and I'm too ill to get there. We finally went once about 6 months ago, and we were supposed to attend a series of classes, but I had a horrible downturn in the immune system problem and it was all I could do to just manage the basics at home, so we couldn't go (and he doesn't want to go, although he agreed to go, so he's not doing anything to help make it happen).

It's just been so horrible since we moved to Arizona. We were in really good shape before we moved, and I was afraid that it would do all sorts of things to him to go back to his family in close quarters in multiple crisis situations (his brother and family, his sister and family, and his parents live here, and they ALL have MAJOR crisis situations) - and it has and the worst part is that he totally denies he has these anger issues when it's so incredibly obvious to everyone else. It's just ripping the family apart It's a common thing for missionary kids to deny anger issues because they're used to "having" to look perfect, while going thru incredible strains. It was a great up-bringing in many, many ways, but it comes with some major baggage, too, and he's not acknowledging that it's there.

Sometimes when we're so tired of his anger, we ask people over to get the "nice" version of him to be around. It's so sad, because he's a great guy in SO many ways, but it's like he's lost, and reverted to childhood or something, and the anger he had then and couldn't vent he is now venting on us and not even seeing.

[The last sane person]

It just keeps getting worse. Lost my job shortly after, lost everything from someone breaking into my car, got into a fight somehow, got hurt and its not healing well. Then someone rammed my car as it was parked and took off yesterday. Family is either pretending I don't exist or driving me further into the pavement. Got into a fight with my best friend because his girlfriend assumes that since I'm bi, my mere presence is all but sexual harassment waiting to happen. For the record, I haven't even done anyhting more forward than say hello to her.

I give the **** up.

[Nerdanel]

really sorry to hear that, rian and sane (and your best friend's gf is awfully confident, thinking that she can attract anyone. as long as they're bi, i guess). :/

my vent seems very silly compared to the past few here... i just wanted to complain about the fact that i'm going to morocco during ramadan again. last time they lost my suitcase and were all grouchy when i came to pester them about it. not really anything to whine about... moving on to the happy thread.

[Rían]

Just got back from the class - I think it will be really helpful for me, and I hope that he'll eventually see that he has a big problem (other people sure see it!) so he can work on it. I know he's hurting, but can't face it.

[GrayMouser]

Originally Posted by RÃ*an

Just got back from the class - I think it will be really helpful for me, and I hope that he'll eventually see that he has a big problem (other people sure see it!) so he can work on it. I know he's hurting, but can't face it.

Sorry to hear about your troubles Rian- my thoughts are with you and I hope it works out.

[Tessar]

Originally Posted by RÃ*an

Just got back from the class - I think it will be really helpful for me, and I hope that he'll eventually see that he has a big problem (other people sure see it!) so he can work on it. I know he's hurting, but can't face it.

I'm so sorry, Rian. *hugs*

I know how that is to have a family member like that, but I couldn't even imagine being married to someone like that.

Good for you going to that class. I hope your proactivity will result in his taking action.