Temporary Venting Thread

[Lief Erikson]

It's interesting how animals even so small as guinea pigs can miss their friends.

Two previous guinea pigs we owned were called "Hero" and "Beatrice", after characters from Shakespeare's "Much Ado about Nothing". Hero was the leader, but if we left her in the cage for very long while holding Beatrice, Hero would become anxious. She would wander all around the cage, looking for her sister, and then look up toward us and make piercing whistles. These would cease when we returned her sister to her.

It was very cute .

[Rían]

Sounds cute!

Tinkerbell seems to be getting along better with the others now

[Earniel]

A little more than 25 hours until defense of final project... So much still to do. Presentation isn't ready. Will never know complete and bloody complex legislation. Nervousssss.... 5.5 on the want-to-scream-scale.

[Rían]

Yes, I bet you're nervous - that's natural! Presentations aren't fun, but it's great experience to do them.

I'm willing to bet my entire Tolkien book set that you'll do really well, though - you're intelligent and articulate

[Earniel]

A little more than 16 hours until death by defense.... Waaaah! 6.8 on the want-to-scream-scale.

Originally Posted by RÃ*an

I'm willing to bet my entire Tolkien book set that you'll do really well, though - you're intelligent and articulate

Thank you for your confidence. *hearts warms* But I take it you have never heard me speak in public, I'm far from articulate then.

[cassiopeia]

Back here to vent.

My stupid boyfriend just broke up with me via email. WTF? We'd been together two weeks and now he says we had no 'connection'. He asked me out and now he's dumping me. And last weekend we went away for the night for the first time (if you get what I mean ) Why me? *headdesk*

[Count Comfect]

You'll do fine, Earniel (I'd put in the special a, but I don't have a keypad so I can't do ASCII codes on this comp). I have full and complete faith in your abilities.

cassiopeia - that completely sucks. Email is one of the worst ways to do that possible. And the timing is bad too hope you get over him quickly.

VENT: Could I have a more pointless job than filling in for someone who ALREADY spends most of their time goofing off? I can't even deal with the issues that DO come up (Rarely), so I do even less. Sigh. And it is volunteer, so it isn't like they pay me for this.

[Spock]

Gadz zooks and little fishes, I guess I'm not up to speed with the young dating scene..two weeks isn't even a relationship in my book and a weekend was/is/should be out of the question that soon. I'm not condeming just amazed.
..

[Tessar]

I despise my dad. I mean really, really despise him. I would say that I hate him, except that I can't make myself hate people, no matter how much I want to. I wish I could hate him--just hate him so much that I could blow off all the stupid things he says to me and about me.

Every time he 'reveals' something to me, I start to realize that he's felt that way about me for a long time--what he says fits in with things he did to me or said to me when I was younger.

I hate what he does to me. It's like being kicked in the stomach and slapped across the face. My own -father- thinks I'm a horrible person. That just hurts more than I can even describe. Every single minute I'm around him, he's judging me and not liking what he sees, and I know that, and it just hurts to know that he can't love me for being who I am.

Over the past year he's told me he hates my singing voice, he hates the way I was brought up, he hates that I was home schooled, he doesn't think I'm as funny as he is, he doesn't think I respect him, and that he doesn't think I ever show him any respect.

But it doesn't. Make. SENSE!

He doesn't have any friends, and I have all that I could want and more now that I’ve opened up to let people in. People reach out to him, and he acts like he's being friendly, but then as soon as he leaves he starts talking about what a horrible person they are, or how he's not REALLY 'friends' with them. I love my friends. Every single one of them. I would do almost anything for them to help them out at the drop of a hat.

He hates my voice. Most of the guys I know have told me they think I have a fabulous voice. My sisters think it's sexy. A professional singer actually sent me out to a friend of his to get my voice evaluated, and she thought that I had potential to be a good singer. A man I sing next to in choir, who has a degree in singing, suggested that I should persue a degree in singing if that was what I was interested in because he thought I could make it. I'll never be a Paverotti, or an Emma Kirkby, or a Domingo, or a Julie Andrews, but I can have a pleasant voice, and probably even a marketable one if I decided to make it my living some day.

He thinks I don't show him respect... I don't KNOW him! I don't know my own dad. He was almost never home when I was a kid because he was always out working, and when he was home he wanted to entertained by my sisters and I (I am dead serious--he would actually say 'So what are you guys going to do to entertain me?' and he litterally meant it). Or he wanted to play catch, or football, or soccer and I hated doing those things. Guess what I've found out this year? I can't play any sports worth crap because I don't know how, but I love doing it with my friends.



Maybe I'm not the son he wanted, and maybe (for all I know) I can't really sing, or play sports, or be a neat freak and detail oriented like he is, and maybe my friends don’t really like me and are just being nice, but that doesn't give him a right to hate me for not being what he wants! I don't want his approval, but I can't stand it when I know he hates who I am.

[Lotesse]

That must really, really hurt, Tessar; hurt and frustrate ad infinitum. Try to remind yourself (and this is much harder than it sounds, I know) remind yourself that it's HIM, not you, that is inadequate and weak. I grew up being belittled, as well, I can relate maybe a little with what you're having to go through. Big, big moothug from me, and as they say here in L.A., 'stay strong', o.k.?

[Khamûl]

Stupid hurricanes. Not that it's going to get as bad here as in New Orleans, but we'll still get lots of wind and rain.

[Bombadillo]

Originally Posted by Tessar

I despise my dad. I mean really, really despise him. I would say that I hate him, except that I can't make myself hate people, no matter how much I want to. I wish I could hate him--just hate him so much that I could blow off all the stupid things he says to me and about me.

Every time he 'reveals' something to me, I start to realize that he's felt that way about me for a long time--what he says fits in with things he did to me or said to me when I was younger.

I hate what he does to me. It's like being kicked in the stomach and slapped across the face. My own -father- thinks I'm a horrible person. That just hurts more than I can even describe. Every single minute I'm around him, he's judging me and not liking what he sees, and I know that, and it just hurts to know that he can't love me for being who I am.

Over the past year he's told me he hates my singing voice, he hates the way I was brought up, he hates that I was home schooled, he doesn't think I'm as funny as he is, he doesn't think I respect him, and that he doesn't think I ever show him any respect.

But it doesn't. Make. SENSE!

He doesn't have any friends, and I have all that I could want and more now that I’ve opened up to let people in. People reach out to him, and he acts like he's being friendly, but then as soon as he leaves he starts talking about what a horrible person they are, or how he's not REALLY 'friends' with them. I love my friends. Every single one of them. I would do almost anything for them to help them out at the drop of a hat.

He hates my voice. Most of the guys I know have told me they think I have a fabulous voice. My sisters think it's sexy. A professional singer actually sent me out to a friend of his to get my voice evaluated, and she thought that I had potential to be a good singer. A man I sing next to in choir, who has a degree in singing, suggested that I should persue a degree in singing if that was what I was interested in because he thought I could make it. I'll never be a Paverotti, or an Emma Kirkby, or a Domingo, or a Julie Andrews, but I can have a pleasant voice, and probably even a marketable one if I decided to make it my living some day.

He thinks I don't show him respect... I don't KNOW him! I don't know my own dad. He was almost never home when I was a kid because he was always out working, and when he was home he wanted to entertained by my sisters and I (I am dead serious--he would actually say 'So what are you guys going to do to entertain me?' and he litterally meant it). Or he wanted to play catch, or football, or soccer and I hated doing those things. Guess what I've found out this year? I can't play any sports worth crap because I don't know how, but I love doing it with my friends.


Maybe I'm not the son he wanted, and maybe (for all I know) I can't really sing, or play sports, or be a neat freak and detail oriented like he is, and maybe my friends don’t really like me and are just being nice, but that doesn't give him a right to hate me for not being what he wants! I don't want his approval, but I can't stand it when I know he hates who I am.

*big huge empathatic sigh* Remember how my dad and your dad are pretty much the same oblivious, loserly, bull-headed person? Well I find that the easiest way to cope is exactly what Lotesse said: keep in mind that it's his problem, and not yours. Granted, it isn't easy to do because he's still your father and you've been raised in such an environment that it's hard to just disregard the word of your dad.

Come on, though, he said he hates how you were raised!? Whose fault is that!? ( ) I bet he thinks that because he probably doesn't like the way you "turned out," you know, not a dumb jock like him, and he's just finally come to realize that you never will live up to his expectations. And by no means is that a bad thing Tessar, because knowing my dad (well, you know, well enough) and how similar he is to yours, his expectations are dumb.

But also keep in mind what might have happened to him to make him so intolerable. Once I realize that my dad's opinion stands for nothing, I usually find myself pitying him for being such a moron soon after. He's immature because he didn't get enough guidance in his childhood, and now he's really diasappointed in himself for not being able to guide you into the person of his preference. Voicing that frustration around you is inevitable, and IMO he can't be held accountable for it.

IOW, he doesn't hate you; he's just too childish to distinguish between his own and your own problems.

And if every other element in your life is telling you you're good, and he's the only one casting doubt, well it just makes sense to ignore him. He's flawed.

I really sincerely hope that makes it easier to bear.


Ah, on a related note, my parents are getting divorced! This isn't an angry vent, because for years I've seen that this was necassary for my mom to be happy, and now she will be, but still the both of them will be feeling extremely guilty, much more so than they deserve. One of the first things they suggested when they made the announcement to us (my brothers and me) was that we could definately see psycholigists if we want to. And I thought, "I can't; we'll be way too pressed for money now, though I could probably benefit."

Even before that announcement, I stopped going to my Aikido lessons, I've considered quitting my job, and I realized that stress is clearly interfering in my life, and in the summertime to boot. I can't have this going into my senior year of high school. So of course I took a test on psychiatry online or whatever, and it pretty much confirmed that I should go see a doctor about the possiblity of two disorders and some symptoms from about ten more. ****.

[Jonathan]

Tessar, when your father judges you the way he does, it is verbal and emotional abuse. No kid should ever have to take any kind of abuse from their own parents. By the way you desribe him (having no friends etc.) only suggests that your father's parents treated him in the same or a similar way, however that does not give him reason to take it out on you. Fortunately you're old enough to know that what he does is wrong. Listen to your friends and sisters and believe them when they say you have a beautiful voice and whatnot and ignore what your dad says.

Your father doesn't think you respects him. Well respect is earned and if he can't respect you, how could you ever respect him?

I don't think you should have to put up with your father much longer. You're not a child. You should soon be able to take care of yourself and live a life without your father's constant pinpricks through your heart.

Chin up

[trolls' bane]

I could definitely relate to you on that, Tessar. My stepdad isn't exactly easy to live with. He has never trusted me, and still doesn't, nor has he ever respected me, and with that too, he still doesn't. He thinks that no matter what, he's right. Even mom sees that. We have had a lot of fun jokes about the stuff he eats (we say he'd eat something like a jelly filled glazed doughnut with pancake and chocolate syrup, ice cream, whipped cream, with extra sugar ) and how he thinks he's always right (he knows because he's been around longer than God. He knows everything about everything because he's Ed.). He's easy to laugh at in that sense.
But really, he isn't nice to me either. My descision in somehting is always last, my opinion doesn't matter. I talk too much about somtehing he's not interested in? The obvious answer is to have kaiser pump a higher dosage of medication into me. I leave something in the living room? Why, it's so simple! Throw it away! He bought me a telescope? Oh, well then, you can't take the telescope out of this house! (don't ask me how I got to take it on the Shasta trip).

[trolls' bane]

A few weeks ago, my grandma (who is an animal lover and lives down the road from my dad) went to a pet rescue place that her friend owns. We didn't expect to, but we came home with a 5-week-old kitten. Well, I just got off the phone with her, and...she decided to take the kitten (who we named Jo) back. Her other animals, who's names have been heard before on Entmoot (Spencer, the colossal monster of a mean cat that has an interesting soft side; Charlie, the black chicken--*ahem*--I mean cat; and Jamie, the clean freak, anti-change, peace-keeping cocker spaniel), don't get along well, and haven't been getting along with Jo. They haven't been eating, and have taken up unusual habits, so it is best for them to take her back. I am going to miss the kitten, but it will be harder on Grandma because this is the first animal she has ever had to take back.

[Earniel]

*moothugs everybody with difficult parents*

[Rían]

*joins in the Moothug*





* looks expectantly at Eärniel *

So? So?!?! how did it go on Friday??!!??

[littleadanel]

F***ing computer slowed down so much, I couldn't even turn it off!! (actually, I could - pushing the button ) and always, ALWAYS my father's computer is the one going mad, and always, ALWAYS when I'M sitting in front of it!!!
oh. *slightly calmed* better go and scan for viruses... *sigh*

[Rían]

vent - grrr, stupid messy closet and paperwork!! MUST do paperwork or nassssssty letters will come!

[trolls' bane]

Originally Posted by littleadanel

F***ing computer slowed down so much, I couldn't even turn it off!! (actually, I could - pushing the button ) and always, ALWAYS my father's computer is the one going mad, and always, ALWAYS when I'M sitting in front of it!!!
oh. *slightly calmed* better go and scan for viruses... *sigh*

Well, now that I'm living in Indio, I have to use my dad's computers. It was working fine until I started using it. He was even watching while it happened. He had just finished showing me how to use Napster because he has a subscription, and the next thing I know (he's still sitting there and I haven't even left napster), in about 3 minutes worth of time, a virus warning, several napster error messages, and an unexpected quit of some other program all happen.