05-28-2003, 04:11 PM | #641 |
Entmoot Attorney-General,
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JerseyDevil vs. Coney
10.30 pm: In a hotel room not too far from the mud wrestling pit, Coney stood in front of his mirror admiring himself. He was wearing a tuxedo and had a Vodka Martini in his hand (shaken, not stirred). “Boy, I’m definitely more handsome than James Bond. Vestis virum reddit (the clothes make the man)”, Coney thought while sipping the last of his drink. He put down the glass and grabbed his sunglasses, which he gently put on his nose. Then he left the room and headed for the mud pit, filled with confidence.
At the same time, at the same hotel, but in another room, JerseyDevil sat on a chair and lit a Cuban cigar. Dressed in a suite with his Cuban dangling from his mouth, he looked like a gangster. “No doubt, I’m more handsome than all the guys in the Italian mafia. Perhaps I should try and get a minor part in Sopranos?”, JerseyDevil thought as he got up and left his hotel room. Full of confidence, JerseyDevil headed for the mud pit. He took a detour, so that he wouldn’t run into Coney on his way there. 11.00 pm: The spectators cheered as JerseyDevil and Coney entered the mud pit. Since it was quite dark, the pit was lit up by a few spotlights. There would be no fun if the fans couldn’t see their heroes wrestling in the mud. The Coney fans had great banderols, on which it was written: “Jesus supports Coney”. The JerseyDevil fans had pins on their clothes, which said “Go JerseyDevil”, “I support JD” and “JD Mud Wrestling 2003”. Now the national anthems were being sung. First, all the Coney fans stood up and sang “God save the Queen”. Then the JerseyDevil fans sang “The Star Spangled Banner”, and even the # brothers from Canada joined in. 11.10 pm: JerseyDevil put out his cigar and Coney took of his sunglasses (it was a dark night and Coney could hardly see anything with them). The match began. The two contestants started the match easy. The gave each other bear hugs and tried to bring each other out of balance. They also tried not to ruin their expensive clothes too much. - “Hey Coney, be careful with my suit. And stop splashing mud all over my pants!” - “Bugger, my shoes are all muddy. I had spent a lot of time polishing them you know. And my trousers are even muddier than yours, so stop complaining!” 11.20 pm: The battle intensified. The contestants no longer cared about their clothes, now they were rolling around in the mud, wrestling. It started raining, which made the mud even muddier. - “JerseyDevil, you wrestle good. But I think you’re holding back. Don’t do it, do your best!” - “And I know you can wrestle better than this! So let’s stop wrestling like silly women and let’s get into high quality wrestling!” [music= Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana (Oh, Fortuna)] JerseyDevil and Coney threw their jackets away. For a long time, they stared at one another, then they attacked. 11.30 pm: The wrestling match turned into a match of boxing. JerseyDevil and Coney punched and blocked, hit and dodged. Coney got a few good hits and managed to break some of JerseyDevil’s ribs, at the expense of his own nose, which JerseyDevil crushed with one blow. 11.40 pm: The contestants were battered, their blood mixing with the rain water. This was a violent fight indeed. JerseyDevil wanted a time-out, and Coney accepted. The contestants left the mud pit and were taken care of by their fans. Their blood-stained knuckles were wrapped in bandages. JerseyDevil’s fans provided their hero with painkillers, while Sween gave Coney some of his vodka to forget the pain. “Remember, pain is temporal, pride is forever!”, Sween said. - “Hey Coney!”, JerseyDevil yelled. “What do you think of bringing in some real weapons into the match, just to make the fight a little bit more exciting?” - “Sounds like a good idea, let’s do it!” 11.45 pm: Once again, the contestants stood staring at one another in the mud pit. The rain was now pouring down, turning the pit into a pool of muddy water. JerseyDevil fans had given a trident to their hero, a very suitable weapon for a devil. Coney was equipped with a crowbar. There was a flash of lightning and the crowbar sparked in the light. “I’ll show you how the English football hooligans fight!”, Coney yelled. It seemed as if he had a halo over his head. [music= Valkyries were singing, angels were crying] This was a battle of titans, filled with symbolism. It was UK vs. USA, Jesus vs. the Devil, Good vs. Evil, Right vs. Wrong. The world trembled as the contestants clashed. Coney moved swiftly, it seemed as if he was actually walking on the water in the water-filled pit. JerseyDevil had problems though, as he stumbled around in the mud. He had to be on the defensive and block Coney’s attacks, since he couldn’t really fight back. But JerseyDevil had the advantage of having a bigger weapon, so he was able to fend off Coney’s blows.
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An unwritten post is a delightful universe of infinite possibilities. Set down one word, however, and it immediately becomes earthbound. Set down one sentence and it’s halfway to being just like every other bloody entry that’s ever been written. ☻ Last edited by Jonathan : 05-28-2003 at 05:02 PM. |
05-28-2003, 04:13 PM | #642 |
Entmoot Attorney-General,
Equilibrating the Scales of Justice, Administrator ♎ Join Date: Jan 2003
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JerseyDevil vs. Coney
11.55 pm: JerseyDevil learned to manoeuvre in the muddy pool and was now able to hit back. Coney moved with angelic speed but JerseyDevil matched him with his own demonic speed. There were sparks every time the trident and the crowbar met.
12.00 am: Lightning struck the mud pit, dazzling the spectators and destroying the spotlights. It took a while until the spectators could see anything again. The Coney and JerseyDevil fans lit up the mud pit with their torches and could see Coney lying there, seemingly lifeless with his crowbar shattered right next to him. But where was JerseyDevil? Suddenly JerseyDevil crawled up from the muddy pool, holding a broken trident. The JerseyDevil fans cheered and screamed: “Tell us what happened! We couldn’t see because we were blinded by the flash of lightning!” JerseyDevil answered in a hoarse voice: “Lightning struck my trident, charging it with electricity. With a powerful blow, I gave Coney an electric chock thus taking him out. My hair caught fire in the process, so I had to dive into the muddy pool to extinguish it”. Then, from out of nowhere, a white little rabbit entered the pit and started licking Coney’s face. He immediately woke up and said: “Bugger me, I think I lost”. 12.15 am: JerseyDevil had won the match and his fans lifted him on their shoulders and cheered. Coney was given medical attention his fans and Sween gave him some beer. Of course, Coney was depressed that he had lost, but we was also happy. He had found himself a new buddy, namely the white little rabbit. - “JerseyDevil!”, he said. “I think I’m gonna name my new buddy rabbit after you!” - “I’m honoured”, JerseyDevil answered. “Just don’t let him bite me, he seems to have sharp teeth”. - “Qui me amat, amat et cuniculum (Those who love me, love my rabbit too)”, Coney said and his fans cheered and lifted both him and his rabbit on their shoulders. As Coney was taken away by his fans, he said: “Forsan et haec olim meminisse (perhaps some day it will bring pleasure to remember even these things)”.
__________________
An unwritten post is a delightful universe of infinite possibilities. Set down one word, however, and it immediately becomes earthbound. Set down one sentence and it’s halfway to being just like every other bloody entry that’s ever been written. ☻ Last edited by Jonathan : 05-28-2003 at 04:52 PM. |
05-28-2003, 04:22 PM | #643 |
Doughy Elf
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,006
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Oh bugger. We lost. Oh well, go Coney!
EDIT: Lol, I forgot to congratulat JD. Congrats JD. Last edited by Lady of Rohan : 05-28-2003 at 04:26 PM. |
05-28-2003, 04:23 PM | #644 |
The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium)
Posts: 14,363
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Wohoo! It's up! it's up!
Well done Jonathan! You've outdone yourself this time. Congrats sunshine, er ... Jersey Devil. Head up Coney, remember: to the loser goes the booze.
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We are not things. |
05-28-2003, 04:27 PM | #645 |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
Posts: 9,431
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Hey team - we won. Again thanks for all the support. let's all be good sports and not gloat - well at least not too much.
Let's all go out now and party - psstt - Jonathan is buying. Should we invite the Coney team to come along? Cast your votes.
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide Last edited by jerseydevil : 05-28-2003 at 04:31 PM. |
05-28-2003, 04:28 PM | #646 |
90% angel
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Unknown>:)
Posts: 243
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go coney! yay!
well i havn't been on this thread for a long time so whats the score or is there a score? and a vote for yes!
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Call me BQ orTiny. Since I can't change my user name.lol Don't you remember/ The fizz in a pepper/Peanuts in a bottle/At ten, two and four/A fried bologna sandwich/With mayo and tomato/Sittin' round the table/Don't happen much anymore /Back when a hoe was a hoe/Coke was a coke/And crack's what you were doing/When you were cracking jokes/Back when a screw was a screw/The wind was all that blew/And when you said I'm down with that Well it meant you had the flu/I miss back when Last edited by Bunnie_Queen_1146 : 05-28-2003 at 04:31 PM. |
05-28-2003, 04:45 PM | #647 | |
Doughy Elf
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,006
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Quote:
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05-28-2003, 04:49 PM | #648 |
90% angel
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Unknown>:)
Posts: 243
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so i guess we are going or are we....
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Call me BQ orTiny. Since I can't change my user name.lol Don't you remember/ The fizz in a pepper/Peanuts in a bottle/At ten, two and four/A fried bologna sandwich/With mayo and tomato/Sittin' round the table/Don't happen much anymore /Back when a hoe was a hoe/Coke was a coke/And crack's what you were doing/When you were cracking jokes/Back when a screw was a screw/The wind was all that blew/And when you said I'm down with that Well it meant you had the flu/I miss back when |
05-28-2003, 05:01 PM | #649 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
Posts: 9,431
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Quote:
__________________
Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
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05-28-2003, 05:04 PM | #650 |
Doughy Elf
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,006
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That's just because we're Canadian.
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05-28-2003, 05:09 PM | #651 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
Posts: 9,431
|
Quote:
__________________
Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
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05-28-2003, 05:18 PM | #652 |
Lord of the Pants
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,382
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Congrats, JD. You gonna take the Jonothong site down now?
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05-28-2003, 05:20 PM | #653 |
Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA
Posts: 10,820
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Erhem. We won. Congrats. Woohoo!
I see you brought out "cartoon BoP".
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Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle |
05-28-2003, 05:21 PM | #654 | ||
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
Posts: 9,431
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Quote:
Now hopefully the Jersey Devils will win the Stanley Cup and the New Jersey Nets will win the NBA Championship. I wonder if I get my name in the Star Ledger now. Quote:
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
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05-28-2003, 05:27 PM | #655 |
Elven Warrior
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: NEW JERSEY!
Posts: 375
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::Ararax and a couple other jerseyites release Jonathans family as hostages::
we won? what a suprise
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Woah Deep |
05-28-2003, 05:28 PM | #656 |
The Buddy Rabbit
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Trapped in the headlights..
Posts: 3,372
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Congrats JD.......good fight
Jonothan, that was hilarious ........ Wheres the booze then? |
05-28-2003, 05:33 PM | #657 | |
Entmoot Attorney-General,
Equilibrating the Scales of Justice, Administrator ♎ Join Date: Jan 2003
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Quote:
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An unwritten post is a delightful universe of infinite possibilities. Set down one word, however, and it immediately becomes earthbound. Set down one sentence and it’s halfway to being just like every other bloody entry that’s ever been written. ☻ |
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05-28-2003, 05:35 PM | #658 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
Posts: 9,431
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Quote:
I have to correct something that New JerseyAN has typed above. Ararax - we our NOT Jerseyites - we are New JerseyANS.
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
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05-28-2003, 05:37 PM | #659 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
Posts: 9,431
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Quote:
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
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05-28-2003, 05:45 PM | #660 |
The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium)
Posts: 14,363
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*opens up a virtual bottle of booze*
To many more exciting matches!
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