"Temporary" Venting Thread V - Page 31

Voronwen · 01-18-2011, 08:29 PM

Aww, thanks to you too, Tessar!

***Tessar*** · 01-19-2011, 07:39 PM

Ooooh.... I think I'm in for a very unpleasant conversation with my voice teacher. :-/

I dropped by her office and none of the times she has free are times that I have free, so her suggestion was, "Maybe we could meet on Saturdays, or every other Saturday." Which is possible, but Saturdays are my only occasional free day since I work all Sunday morning and then have Church Sunday evening... and every OTHER week? No thank you.

Then she hurried me out of her office so that she could rush off to lunch with one of the other voice teachers.... which I can understand, but c'mon....... we're just gonna let another week slide by without making some sort of decision?

So I asked the coach if he would agree to be my full time teacher if I drop my current teacher, and he said yes. So I think that's what I may do. I don't have the time or the energy to fight for her attention, and her schedule and my schedule don't mesh well, AND I'm sick of this "well we're friends," crap... I would love to be her friend, but she needs to be my voice teacher during lessons, not a best buddy.

So I think maybe it's time to move on.

***Varnafindë*** · 01-19-2011, 08:04 PM

Well, if she doesn't really have the time to be your voice teacher any more, then it's understandable that you would want to drop her.

***Valandil*** · 01-20-2011, 12:12 AM

Tessar - From what you say, I suspect that, for whatever reason, that is what your voice teacher wanted. Perhaps she wanted to corner you into dropping her though, rather than her dropping you.

Don't feel badly about it though - I believe it'll all work out for the best.

***Tessar*** · 01-20-2011, 12:20 AM

Well, I think part of the problem is that ever since I changed to a non-Music major she somehow feels that I've lost the focus of wanting to perform.... or that in her heart she does not believe that I have the voice or the talent to perform so I think she sees my voice lessons as being very "non-urgent hobby" type lessons... which is not how I see them at all.

The tricky thing is that I'm 22. Meaning I am right at the age where I either have a fantastic teacher and my voice takes off and develops into something great by the time I'm 27-30, or I start to ingrain mediocre singing habits that develop into a lifetime of mediocre singing. When you're 17 or 18 you can get away with a few bad teachers and develop your voice later, but I think I'm at the point where I need to be singing a lot better than I am right now if I'm going to make a career.

I believe it will work out for the best as well... I do feel that I'm being guided on this path, and the teachers I've needed have always been there when I needed them (even when it seemed they wouldn't be) so I hope/pray this is the next step to something really great. I'm talking about this a lot, but it's so freaking stressful.... I feel like I'm constantly trying to weigh and evaluate my future fitness for a job that I can't "know" if I'm capable of doing till I've arrived on the doorstep of it.

.... but whatever it turns out to be, it's certainly a starting step into something unpleasant.

I really hope she doesn't start crying and saying I've betrayed her, because she can be a bit..... as in a lot..... touchy. Like.... really touchy.

Gwaimir Windgem · 01-20-2011, 01:15 AM

Just remember that Bostrich had his PhD in History, and Dessay didn't even begin really training as a singer until she was well into her twenties. There are great examples of those who have less advantage than you.

Quote:

I feel like I'm constantly trying to weigh and evaluate my future fitness for a job that I can't "know" if I'm capable of doing till I've arrived on the doorstep of it.

Oh, tell me about it!

**Mari** · 01-21-2011, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tessar

I believe it will work out for the best as well... I do feel that I'm being guided on this path, and the teachers I've needed have always been there when I needed them (even when it seemed they wouldn't be) so I hope/pray this is the next step to something really great.

You probably are being guide to a certain path, like you're in some kind of funnel.

I'm sure you'll get somewhere good in the end!

***Tessar*** · 01-21-2011, 03:19 PM

Know how sometimes you're like, "I absolutely can NOT do this."

But then you're also a little, "You know what? I will."

But then you're like, "No, that would be bad. I shouldn't."

But you're feeling, "I really want to."

Then it's all, "Maybe. I'm getting a definite maybe on this one."

?

I think this whole voice teacher thing is making me be indecisive about everything else in my life. Now that I've made the decision to switch teachers I've already used up my allotment of major decision making brain power for the month. Maybe the whole year.

***Rían*** · 01-21-2011, 03:40 PM

I know what you mean - I remember one day when I was totally burned out on decisions (and when you have kids, there are just a lot of decisions somehow) and we were going out to dinner, and my husband was asking where I wanted to go, and I said "you pick", and he was trying to be polite and said "no, what do YOU want?" and I said "thanks for asking, but what I REALLLLY want is to not make a decision!"

Changing voice teachers sounds like a good decision. You can't have this constant problem with scheduling and get anywhere, unless the teacher is SO freakin' fantastic that it's worth it. And that doesn't sound like that's the case with your current teacher.

***Tessar*** · 01-21-2011, 03:51 PM

It's hard to say. I do love her, and in fact I would encourage anyone who's having voice problems to go study with her... particularly because most of my friends don't want performance careers, they just want to enjoy singing again (a lot of my friends no longer enjoy it because of enduring bad voice teachers

). I think she showed me how to have a nice, pleasant voice. Unlike some of my old teachers, I know I'll use things she showed me for the rest of my life.

But I want a career, and you gotta have more than pleasant for that.

But no, this other decision I just can't make up my mind on. I feel like I haven't got a single decisive ability left in me right now.

I wish I did.

**Mari** · 01-21-2011, 06:43 PM

There's always the dice or the odd coin to help you make your mind up. The only thing you'll have to decide upon then is which of the choices will be heads...

***Varnafindë*** · 01-21-2011, 09:08 PM

And as you flip the coin, and you suddenly realise whether you hope it to be heads or not, then you probably have the answer to your question ...

***Tessar*** · 01-22-2011, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Varnafindë

And as you flip the coin, and you suddenly realise whether you hope it to be heads or not, then you probably have the answer to your question ...

I wish it were that simple. I know what I want to do, I just can't make up my mind if it's the right thing to do.

***Varnafindë*** · 01-22-2011, 07:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tessar

I wish it were that simple. I know what I want to do, I just can't make up my mind if it's the right thing to do.

Ah. Important distinction.

***Tessar*** · 01-22-2011, 02:10 PM

ARGH WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WEEK?!!!??!? Just found out my parents have made an appointment for next Saturday to have our 14 year-old greyhound put down. The medicine helped him for a little while, but they feel like it's not helping him enough now.

GAAAAH. >.<

Voronwen · 01-22-2011, 02:48 PM

Oh Tessar, i'm so sorry

I lost two cats last year, so i know.. they're family members....

*hugs*

**Mari** · 01-22-2011, 05:08 PM

I'm sorry.

Gwaimir Windgem · 01-22-2011, 06:04 PM

Ditto.

***Varnafindë*** · 01-22-2011, 06:28 PM

Oh dear, that is so sad

***Tessar*** · 01-22-2011, 09:02 PM

Thanks, guys. It's just sort of weird and depressing knowing what his "set" amount of time is. Nothing left to do now but be nice to him and give him lots of treats, I guess.

01-18-2011, 08:29 PM	#601
Voronwen Lady of Andúnië Join Date: May 2009 Location: Andúnië Posts: 572	Aww, thanks to you too, Tessar! __________________ " ...But the Exiles on the shores of the sea, if they turned towards the West in the desire of their hearts, spoke of Mar-nu-Falmar that was whelmed in the waves, Akallabêth the Downfallen, Atalantë in the Eldarin tongue." "Ye who believe in affection that hopes, and endures, and is patient, Ye who believe in the beauty and strength of woman's devotion, List to the mournful tradition still sung by the pines of the forest ... " ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Evangeline

01-19-2011, 08:04 PM	#603
*Varnafindë* Princess of the Noldor (and Administrative Empress of the Lone Islands) Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Imladris (and sometimes Norway) Posts: 3,304	Well, if she doesn't really have the time to be your voice teacher any more, then it's understandable that you would want to drop her. __________________ Signature picture art - Bard the Bowman - by vigshane Avatar art - Footsteps of Spring (a young Luthien) - by Henning Janssen

01-20-2011, 12:12 AM	#604
*Valandil* High King at Annuminas Administrator Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Wyoming - USA Posts: 10,752	Tessar - From what you say, I suspect that, for whatever reason, that is what your voice teacher wanted. Perhaps she wanted to corner you into dropping her though, rather than her dropping you. Don't feel badly about it though - I believe it'll all work out for the best. __________________ My Fanfic: Letters of Firiel Tales of Nolduryon Visitors Come to Court Ñ á ë ?* ó ú é ä ï ö Ö ñ É Þ ð ß ® ™ [Xurl=Xhttp://entmoot.tolkientrail.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=ABCXYZ#postABCXYZ]text[/Xurl] Splitting Threads is SUCH Hard Work!!

01-21-2011, 03:40 PM	#609
*Rían* Half-Elven Princess of Rabbit Trails and Harp-Wielding Administrator (beware the Rubber Chicken of Doom!) Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Not where I want to be ... Posts: 15,254	I know what you mean - I remember one day when I was totally burned out on decisions (and when you have kids, there are just a lot of decisions somehow) and we were going out to dinner, and my husband was asking where I wanted to go, and I said "you pick", and he was trying to be polite and said "no, what do YOU want?" and I said "thanks for asking, but what I REALLLLY want is to not make a decision!" Changing voice teachers sounds like a good decision. You can't have this constant problem with scheduling and get anywhere, unless the teacher is SO freakin' fantastic that it's worth it. And that doesn't sound like that's the case with your current teacher. __________________ . I should be doing the laundry, but this is MUCH more fun! Ñá ë?* óú éä ïöü Öñ É Þ ð ß ® ç å ™ æ ♪ ?* "How lovely are Thy dwelling places, O Lord of hosts! ... For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand outside." (from Psalm 84) * * * God rocks! Entmoot : Veni, vidi, velcro - I came, I saw, I got hooked! Ego numquam pronunciare mendacium, sed ego sum homo indomitus! Run the earth and watch the sky ... Auta i lómë! Aurë entuluva!

01-21-2011, 06:43 PM	#611
Mari Elf Lady Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In the lands where mountains are but a fairytale Posts: 8,588	There's always the dice or the odd coin to help you make your mind up. The only thing you'll have to decide upon then is which of the choices will be heads... __________________ Love always, deeply and true ★ Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. ★ Friendship is sharing openly, laughing often, trusting always, caring deeply. ...The Earth laughs in flowers ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Hamatreya"...

01-19-2011, 07:39 PM	#602
*Tessar* Master and Wielder of the Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ Posts: 6,433	Ooooh.... I think I'm in for a very unpleasant conversation with my voice teacher. :-/ I dropped by her office and none of the times she has free are times that I have free, so her suggestion was, "Maybe we could meet on Saturdays, or every other Saturday." Which is possible, but Saturdays are my only occasional free day since I work all Sunday morning and then have Church Sunday evening... and every OTHER week? No thank you. Then she hurried me out of her office so that she could rush off to lunch with one of the other voice teachers.... which I can understand, but c'mon....... we're just gonna let another week slide by without making some sort of decision? So I asked the coach if he would agree to be my full time teacher if I drop my current teacher, and he said yes. So I think that's what I may do. I don't have the time or the energy to fight for her attention, and her schedule and my schedule don't mesh well, AND I'm sick of this "well we're friends," crap... I would love to be her friend, but she needs to be my voice teacher during lessons, not a best buddy. So I think maybe it's time to move on.

01-20-2011, 12:20 AM	#605
*Tessar* Master and Wielder of the Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ Posts: 6,433	Well, I think part of the problem is that ever since I changed to a non-Music major she somehow feels that I've lost the focus of wanting to perform.... or that in her heart she does not believe that I have the voice or the talent to perform so I think she sees my voice lessons as being very "non-urgent hobby" type lessons... which is not how I see them at all. The tricky thing is that I'm 22. Meaning I am right at the age where I either have a fantastic teacher and my voice takes off and develops into something great by the time I'm 27-30, or I start to ingrain mediocre singing habits that develop into a lifetime of mediocre singing. When you're 17 or 18 you can get away with a few bad teachers and develop your voice later, but I think I'm at the point where I need to be singing a lot better than I am right now if I'm going to make a career. I believe it will work out for the best as well... I do feel that I'm being guided on this path, and the teachers I've needed have always been there when I needed them (even when it seemed they wouldn't be) so I hope/pray this is the next step to something really great. I'm talking about this a lot, but it's so freaking stressful.... I feel like I'm constantly trying to weigh and evaluate my future fitness for a job that I can't "know" if I'm capable of doing till I've arrived on the doorstep of it. .... but whatever it turns out to be, it's certainly a starting step into something unpleasant. I really hope she doesn't start crying and saying I've betrayed her, because she can be a bit..... as in a lot..... touchy. Like.... really touchy.

01-21-2011, 03:19 PM	#608
*Tessar* Master and Wielder of the Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ Posts: 6,433	Know how sometimes you're like, "I absolutely can NOT do this." But then you're also a little, "You know what? I will." But then you're like, "No, that would be bad. I shouldn't." But you're feeling, "I really want to." Then it's all, "Maybe. I'm getting a definite maybe on this one." ? I think this whole voice teacher thing is making me be indecisive about everything else in my life. Now that I've made the decision to switch teachers I've already used up my allotment of major decision making brain power for the month. Maybe the whole year.

01-21-2011, 03:51 PM	#610
*Tessar* Master and Wielder of the Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ Posts: 6,433	It's hard to say. I do love her, and in fact I would encourage anyone who's having voice problems to go study with her... particularly because most of my friends don't want performance careers, they just want to enjoy singing again (a lot of my friends no longer enjoy it because of enduring bad voice teachers ). I think she showed me how to have a nice, pleasant voice. Unlike some of my old teachers, I know I'll use things she showed me for the rest of my life. But I want a career, and you gotta have more than pleasant for that. But no, this other decision I just can't make up my mind on. I feel like I haven't got a single decisive ability left in me right now. I wish I did.

01-21-2011, 09:08 PM	#612
*Varnafindë* Princess of the Noldor (and Administrative Empress of the Lone Islands) Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Imladris (and sometimes Norway) Posts: 3,304	And as you flip the coin, and you suddenly realise whether you hope it to be heads or not, then you probably have the answer to your question ... __________________ Signature picture art - Bard the Bowman - by vigshane Avatar art - Footsteps of Spring (a young Luthien) - by Henning Janssen

01-22-2011, 02:10 PM	#615
*Tessar* Master and Wielder of the Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ Posts: 6,433	ARGH WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WEEK?!!!??!? Just found out my parents have made an appointment for next Saturday to have our 14 year-old greyhound put down. The medicine helped him for a little while, but they feel like it's not helping him enough now. GAAAAH. >.<

01-22-2011, 02:48 PM	#616
Voronwen Lady of Andúnië Join Date: May 2009 Location: Andúnië Posts: 572	Oh Tessar, i'm so sorry I lost two cats last year, so i know.. they're family members.... *hugs* __________________ " ...But the Exiles on the shores of the sea, if they turned towards the West in the desire of their hearts, spoke of Mar-nu-Falmar that was whelmed in the waves, Akallabêth the Downfallen, Atalantë in the Eldarin tongue." "Ye who believe in affection that hopes, and endures, and is patient, Ye who believe in the beauty and strength of woman's devotion, List to the mournful tradition still sung by the pines of the forest ... " ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Evangeline

01-22-2011, 05:08 PM	#617
Mari Elf Lady Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In the lands where mountains are but a fairytale Posts: 8,588	I'm sorry. __________________ Love always, deeply and true ★ Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. ★ Friendship is sharing openly, laughing often, trusting always, caring deeply. ...The Earth laughs in flowers ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Hamatreya"...

01-22-2011, 06:04 PM	#618
Gwaimir Windgem Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA Posts: 10,820	Ditto. __________________ Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle

01-22-2011, 06:28 PM	#619
*Varnafindë* Princess of the Noldor (and Administrative Empress of the Lone Islands) Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Imladris (and sometimes Norway) Posts: 3,304	Oh dear, that is so sad __________________ Signature picture art - Bard the Bowman - by vigshane Avatar art - Footsteps of Spring (a young Luthien) - by Henning Janssen

01-22-2011, 09:02 PM	#620
*Tessar* Master and Wielder of the Cardboard Harp of Gondor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: IM IN UR POSTZ, EDITIN' UR WURDZ Posts: 6,433	Thanks, guys. It's just sort of weird and depressing knowing what his "set" amount of time is. Nothing left to do now but be nice to him and give him lots of treats, I guess.

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