Tolkien Lovers Anonymous

[Renille]

OOC-Willow....you are a genius. A scary genius, but a genius all the same! Great scene! I'm impatient...I'm starting my scene RIGHT NOW!

Renille- I gotta go!

Earniel- But...but...the battle!

Renille- Was just won. I must claim my queenship and stuff. Bye! Meet you later in the Houses of Healing!

Eruviel-Queens these days...

*Runs off to the Houses where she finds TCowyn, Faramirahzi, and Maernoic who had "miraculously" been transported there.*

Renille- It is time for me to do my duty. I must claim my throne!

Ioreth, RN- Who are you? A doctor? Where's your commendation papers?

Renille- I'm the queen. I have to see the three people who were hurt by the Nazgul. I'm here to cure them.

Ioreth, RN- You're a QUEEN??? Oh, well that's a horse of a different color! *Other RN's start singing "The Merry Old Land of Gondor" while admitting Ren to see the others*

Renille- Okay. They're all badly hurt. But I can cure them...do you have Glade (TM) air fresheners...Springtime Athelas scent?

Ioreth, RN- No...we use antibacterial fresheners, actually.

Renille- Then I need SOMEONE to search all the supermarkets in town! I need those air fresheners! NOW!

OOC- If someone else wants, they can finish this! I'm fresh out of ideas. Woops. It's been a long night...Wizard of Oz rehearsal! WHOOPEE!

[Willow Oran]

(Meanwhile Willow is still in the air and is flying to the Houses of Healing, or trying to, her flight is shaky and drunken looking, though she certainly isn't drunk. And she finally just lands and collaspses several blocks away from the Houses of Healing.)

OOC:Somebody go and find Willow. She's suffering from delayed shock reaction thingy.

[Earniel]

*Eärniel became bored of whacking orcs who didn't even try to put up a decent fight after the Hospital King also know as the Rider in White had been defeated. Grumbling she went to the Healing Houses*

Eärniel: *muttering* No fair, the rider in white gets defeated by a hobbit with a location attitude, a rohirrim princess that doesn't even have a horse riding licence and a faery for crying out loud. And I don't have any decent orc to slay, fne... so I'll just go bug Aragren in the Houses of ... *still muttering she trips over Willow and falls* Umpf, why don't people clean up their mess... Hey that's Willow! *Picks up the little faery* Willow?

Willow: Ung..

Eärniel: Are you drunk? At this time of the day?

Willow: Not drunk... just dizzy....

Eärniel: Yeah right, You'll have to admit that drinking problem of yours some day, you know.

Willow: Everything is so dark.... and my arm feels cold...

Eärniel: Mmm, strange drunkness that. Well I'll carry you, it's not that far.

Willow: Are you going to burry me?

Eärniel: I said ' I'll carry you'. You morbid little faery.....

Willow: Oh....

*Eärniel carries Willow to the Houses of Healing*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG looked at the city from the walls.
EG: This place needs more trees. Really.
Garina: That gate could use some fixing! Really, it's been smashed to bits by that stupid truck! They could have used something stronger to build with.
EG: This place reeeeeeally needs more trees.

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Before she is taken to the houses of healing, Moraumer looks on the face of TCowyn and is shocked*

Moraumer: DEATH TAKE US ALL!!!!! FORWARD MORAUED!!!!

*They charge*

~Five seconds later~

Moraumer: *stops and thinks* Oh, wait, i knew it was her... and she's going to live... and why do i care if she does or not? She's just my stupid little sister... STOP, MORAUED!!!!!!!!

*However, they are too far away to hear her and by the time she manages to restore some order, all the orcs have either been killed or fled*

Moraumer: Oh what a shame... oh, well, works for me!

*Victorious, she leads the Eored into Minas Tirith, where she meets Gimlina and Eruvielas.*

Moraumer: What are you two fighting about?

Gimlina: This city needs to be fixed up!

EG: No, it needs more trees!

Gimlina: Stones!

EG: Trees!

Gimlina: Stones!

EG: Tr-

Moraumer: SHUT UP! It needs both... but let other people do it. You two are coming to Rohan with me... caus I'm a Queen and i can command people! YAY!

EG & Gimlina: NO!

Moraumer: *Cries*

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

EG: *attempting to be tactful* Lady, we are supposed to stay here, I believe. So. . .we'll stay here, thank you. Congratulations on your king, er queenship, and I am sorry about your uncle.

[Tanoliel]

occ: wait...has Faramirahzi been wounded yet? Cause I need to save him...only I can't if he hasn't been saved...

Tano: *runs through the halls after Denny, who is striding off to the Houses of Death.* Bother...stupid pyro...Denny!
Denny: Fire...fire...I can chose my own time of death...
Tano: Grrrr...

[Tanoliel]

Tano: *finally catches up with Denny inside the Houses of Death* Denethor! Denny! What are you doing?!
Denny: *piles more wood up around Faramirahzi* I'm going to die.
Tano: Well, yes, I can sort of see that. I mean, what are you doing to Faramirahzi?
Denny: He is going to die with me. He shall go with his father.
Tano: Dear Eru, you morbid steward. Look. *marches over to Faramirahzi and checks his pulse* HE'S NOT DEAD YET! (ooc: Monty Python refrence alert!)
Denny: *blinks* So?
Tano: Grrrr...Just don't kill him yet, okay? *thinks quickly* Oh, curses...Gandgirl isn't here, how am I supposed to stop him? Wait...if Gandgirl is here instead of Samniel...then I'll go get Samniel! *runs out of Houses of Death, leaving Denethor to pile wood, whistling merrily* SAMNIEL! SAMNIEL!!!
Earniel: What do you want?
Tano: *pants* Denny--about to die--Gandgirl away instead of you--figured you should help!
Earniel: Oh, all right then. Lead the way. *Tano leads the way back to the Houses of Death, where Denny is playing with a lighter*
Earniel and Tano: DROP THE LIGHTER!
Denny: *drops it in suprise* Wha-?
Earniel: I'm supposed to be here--or not, but the point is I have to stop you from killing your son.
Denny: Well, you're not! *grabs the lighter and sets fire to the pyre*
Tano: Grrr...well, he's supposed to die, I guess. Still, it's agravating...
Samniel: Come on, let's get Faramirahzi to the Houses of Healing.
Tano: Right. *together they manage to hoist Faramirahzi up and carry him to the Houses of Healing, where they dump him on a bed*
*Tano goes to visit Willow, still growling about "stupid pyro stewards"*

ooc: whew...that was long. Sorry about "using" you, Earniel, but I needed somebody, and since Gandgirl had taken your place...well.
-tano

[Elf Girl]

Back in the mysterious dark forbidding tunnel

GandGirl: Wait! Waaaaait! Come baaaaaaack! *waves hand and a shilling, glowing neon green, levitates in front of her* Aargh. I don't like this place. *begins to run after them with all her wizardly speed* Hmf. *shilling lights her way*

[Earniel]

OOC: Why thank you Tano, I frankly feel quite honoured!

Eärniel: Allright, Willow and Faramirahzi are safe now. Now we only need you to work your magic, Aragren.

Aragren: I know, but you can't seriously suspect me to show off with my healing powers if I don't get the right material to work with!

Eärniel: What do you mean? No athelas?

Aragren: No, out of air fresheners. Really, you'd think in a hospital like this.....

Eärniel: I'll have a look, see if this city of yours has a decent department store. *Eärniel leaves the Houses of Healing in search for a department store. Soon she spots one* Yeay! *runs inside* Do you still have some Glade (TM) air fresheners... Springtime Athelas scent?

Shop assistant: No, I'm afraid we're out of those...

Eärniel: Dang!

Shop assistant: But we have some good Athelas incense. They're in promotion now.

Eärniel: That'll have to do. I'll take four, please.

Shop assistant: That is four gondorian crowns please.

Eärniel: What? Four crowns? Do you have four kings or what? I know somebody called Aragren who won't be pleased hearing that...

Shop assistant: No, no, a crown is a coin.

Eärniel: What, we did all this work just so Aragren can wear a coin? What kind of country is this?

Shop assistant:*desperate* Do you have any kind of money?

Eärniel: Oh it's money now that you want? Just send the bill to the Queen, she'll pay it. *picks up incense and leaves the bewildered shop assistant behind. She returns t the houses of healing* Sorry Aragren, they're out of air fresheners but I've got some incense instead

[Renille]

Renille- Okay...that's better than nothing. Want to help?

Earniel- Sure...nothing else to do, really.

Renille- Thanks...come on. Let's do TCowyn first so I can get it over with. *shudders* I hope she doesn't want me to kiss her, because I REFUSE!

Earniel- Try not to worry...come on.

Renille-Burn the inscense, Samniel! Lady of Rohan! Awake!

TCowyn- I do as my lord commands...I'm up!

Renille- Good- *shakes her hand* Congratulations on your recovery. Don't be fighting more Nazgul anytime soon. By the way, FARAMIR is in the next room. You want to meet him.

Earniel-You're not supposed to know that!

Renille- Shush! It's Faramir's turn!(The inscence burns) Faramirahzi! Get up! the queen is calling!

Faramirahzi- I don't wanna get up, daddy...I don't wanna go to school!

Renille- Work with me here. You've got to arise! Smell health! Go away from the darkness!

Faramirahzi- AH! Who are you? Aragorn? But, you're a girl! Wha...

Renille- My name is AragREN. I'll explain later.Don't worry. You're okay now...thanks for your help in the battle. (Shakes HIS hand as well!) NOW I have to go to Willow...yay.

Earniel- You're almost done.

Renille- *Burns last of the inscense.* Come on, Willow! Wake up! Please? It's me, Ren! You've gotta get up.

Willow- Hi, Ren! Can I have something to eat? Chocolate, preferably?

Renille- YAY! Get her all the chocolate she can eat! Make them all rest; keep them all down for a few days here. I have to go make sure the battle's going well. Bye!

[Tanoliel]

Tano: Yay! Willow's awake! *jumps onto Willow's bed* Hi. I've been really worried! Well, actually, I haven't, because the Book says that Merry wakes up, but I figured that I should say that anyway because it's a nice thing to say when your friend just got banged by the evil rider in white, and oh by the way there's some chocolate left over in your pack, even though you're supposed to want pipeweed, but i perfectly understand if you don't, cause it does taste kinda bad, and---
Willow: (to Earniel) What is she on?
Earniel: I dunno. She just saved Faramirahzi...maybe she's high on heroism.
Tano: High on what? I'm just hyper! *reaches into Willow's pack and breaks the leftover chocolate into three pieces and hands them out* Here you all are! Rest! Revive! Eat chocolate!

(shouldn't have a problem with that...)
-tano

[Willow Oran]

Willow:Yum chocolate! But I suppose this means it's time to go off to mordor to make a big distraction so that the others can get through to Mount Doom.

(She looks tired and her wings droop)

Earniel:You are staying here until you're fully recovered.

Willow:But-

Tano: It's okay, you'll have TC, and Faramirazhi, and Claenoic for company, they were hurt too.

Earniel:I didn't know Claenoic got hurt as well... We didn't wake her up! (run after Ren) Aragren! Wait! We're not finished healing people yet!!!!

(Eruviel and Gimrina enter the room)

Gimrina:The battles over, we won.

Eruviel:Those orcs got slaughtered!

Willow:Good, that's happy.

Eruviel:This place really needs more trees though.

Gimrina:It could use some new gates too.

Tano:How did you guys get here?

Willow:Yeah, tell us about the paths of the dead and tell us what happened after you got through them.

[Mirahzi]

Faramirahzi sits up in his bed, glances around the room and notices his new roommates.

Faramirahzi looking at TCowyn: So, who's the pretty lady? She looks a bit depressed.. and suicidal. Maybe she needs someone to hold and someone to hold her. *Shrugs* Ah well, that's her problem!

Faramirahzi looking at Willow: Hmm.. what am I doing in the Children's Ward?

[Willow Oran]

::The rest of the cellowship has left leaving the four invalids alone
(I'm assuming that Earniel caught up with Ren earlier and they took care of waking up Claenoic) Willow has noticed Faramirazhi giving her puzzeled looks)

Willow:Hi! I don't think I've met you before.

Faramirazhi: I'm Denethor's younger son, Faramirazhi. Um.... No offense, but how did you get in here? You look a little young to be fighting.

Willow: I'm not too young. I'm just short. I'm a faerie.

Faramirazhi: Oh. Who else is in here with us?

Willow: TCowyn is on your other side. ::She points to TC, who at the moment is sleeping:: And this is Claenoic, she's the other hobbit. ::Claenoic and TC start to wake up::

TCowyn:Urgh... Please tell me that battle was a bad dream.

Claenoic: I second that, I knew that Riders in white were scary but that...

TCowyn:It makes me sick just thinking about it.

Faramirazhi: What does?

TCowyn:An embarrising long lost relative.

Willow:Yeah, who would of thought... You wouldn't think Moruamer to be the type to...

Claenoic: Well, she does call herself Nazgul Queen.

Faramirazhi: I am so lost in this conversation.

[Claenoic]

Originally posted by Willow Oran
::The rest of the cellowship has left leaving the four invalids alone
(I'm assuming that Earniel caught up with Ren earlier and they took care of waking up Claenoic)

OOC: Thank the Valar! I thought that you all had forgotten about me *cough*youhad*coughcough*

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

OOC: It seems that everyone has also forgotton about the most important part in the book. MINE! I am now taking over the roles of Glodo and Laurelyn and finishing this end of the story myself!

*Shekatt is now giving Glodo and Laurelyn a tour of the Kaverns*

Shekatt~ Down the shaft on your right you will smell piles of decaying orks. And down the shaft on your left you will smell a large decaying dragon which is not quite ripe to make into wine yet. And down the shaft on your right again, there is a courtesy vomiting pit for you.

*Glodo and Laurelyn vomit into the shaft. Shekatt has to hold the tour cart for Glodo to stop vomiting.*

Shekatt~ May I continue? Now, If you look down that passage you will see the Chamber of Chains.

*Glodo and Laurelyn gasp while Shekatt realizes what she just said and recovers.*

Shekatt~ Which you will be able to buy from the gift shop at the other end.

Glodo~ Oy! Can we please stop and rest? I haven't slept in days!

Shekatt~ All right then. But stay in the tour cart. I don't want you falling down some crevass and suing me. I'll be back in six hours exactly. *And she dissapeared into the gloom*

Laurelyn~ Come on. We've got six hours to sleep.

Glodo~ Are you crazy? We have to go on watches so she doesn't eat us while we're asleep!

Laurelyn~ Relax! She's waiting till we get to the other side to eat us. Thats what the book says.

Glodo~ Yeah, well it also says that we are supposed to go on watches. Your first sense I'm the phone bearer.

Laurelyn~ Hey, as long as we're arguing over detailes, we should be discussing if there will be a book about us.

Glodo~ But there already is a book about us.

Laurelyn~ Exactly. So just get some sleep and don't worry about it. Besides, I'm supposed to fall asleep during my watch anyway so Smerod can look old and I can freak out when I wake up and find him breathing down your neck.

Glodo~ *Shudders* Where did that little sneak get to anyway?

Laurelyn~ That's my line!

*The sounds of bickering were heard all the way in the Shire.*

OOC: Can I write for Smerod too?

[Nazgûl Queen]

*Moraumer comes into the sick bay to check on her sister and give her a bunch of flowers, just in time to hear the end of their conversation*

Moraumer: WHAT?! *Drops the flowers on the floor in shock*

Calenoic: Well, you always said you were the Nazgul Queen...

Moraumer: *forgetting her recent injury, starts to strangle Claenoic while muttering* How dare you even think such a thing about the queen of Rohan? Just because our older brother whom TCowyn was too young to remember ran off with some scary woman in white, doesn't mean that I should draw the blame. How is that fair?

*Willow, TCowyn and Faramirahzi leap on to her, restraining her arms and freeing Claenoic who gasps for breath while TCowyn growls at her sister*

TCowyn: Cant you take a joke? What right to you have to hurt an invalid? I'm ashamed to call you sister!

Moraumer: Fine then. Be that way. I didn't miss you anyway. *Crushes the flowers into the floor and leaves, wiping a tear from her eyes*

Willow: Erm... I think she took that rather well, dont you?

TCowyn: *shrugs* She deserved it!

Faramirahzi: *picks up the flowers off the floor and gives them to TCowyn* I think these belong to you.

[Elf Girl]

Left behind in the passage...

Elf Girl: All right. *to the air* You asked for it! *disappears* *reappears next to the Counselor in the tour cart*

Laurelyn: You little snea- Hey! You're not Smearod!

Elf Girl: I wasn't last time I checked. Anyway, I got tired of being left behind, so I brought a little *cough* magic into the whole situation. *grabs glowing shilling from the air* You can give this to Shekatt.

[Katt_knome_hobbit]

Laurelyn~ *Nervously* What's our time like?

Glodo~ *Glancing at digital watch* 4 hours, 37 minutes.

Elf Girl~ Hey! Where did you get that?

Cousiler~ This? Oh, I've had this since my brother gave it to me one Christmas. He said it was the best, but he forgot to take the price tag off so...

Elf Girl~ *Whispers to Laurelyn* She's relapsing. Stay calm. We'll sit on both sides of her.

Counsiler~ ... anyway, it glows in the dark so it's really usefull in a dark, scary... smelly ... cave..... *Eyes widen in horror * get...me...the...hell...out...of...here.....

Elf Girl and Laurelyn~ STAY CALM!

*They all gasp as they here the shout echo through out the caverns. With it comes another sound. Like a half cooked pancake falling on the floor. A steady rythemic sound. Elf Girl, Laurelyn, and Glodo huddled together in the cart.*

*flik flak flik flak, the noise got closer. The group huddled closer. Glodo started to scream but Laurelyn and Elf Girl put their hands over her mouth.*

Elf Girl and Laurelyn~ stay calm.*they whispered*

*A pair of glowing eyes stared at them from the dark*

Finrod~ You has already met Her? Goods. Looks! Smerod broughts wizardes squeeky toy back.

*Finrod handed Elf Girl the wingless plastic balrog that goes squeek*

wingless plastic balrog~ squeek

Finrod~ Now does you trust Smerod? Good. *He hopped in the cart with them* Whens the next tour?