08-11-2002, 04:48 PM | #41 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
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08-11-2002, 04:50 PM | #42 |
the Shrike
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Hmm. . . Where have I seen this thread before?
Copy & Paste... I believe it should be the last resort, and it shouldn't be to hurt the child, but to relay to the child just how naughty they've been. I've found with some children that if you smack them everytime they do something wrong, they begin to develop an immunity to it. However, those that are smacked very seldom usually know that they've done something very wrong, and generally learn from it. But this I guess could be applied to any mode of punishment. And since I don't plan on having children, I guess I don't have to worry about it. However, if I did have children, it would very much centre on communication, rather than violence, since I came from a violent home myself, and saw firsthand how much smacking didn't solve things. btw - time out never worked for me either, because I was an avid reader from the age of 6 onwards, and would just read a book. The real punishment was when my parents took away my light bulb!
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08-11-2002, 04:52 PM | #43 |
Elven Warrior
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jd- is that really how the relationship between a father and child should be? that the child is scared that their father is coming home rather than happy?
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08-11-2002, 04:55 PM | #44 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
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We did in some ways get time out also - just not the stupid - face the corner. We were sent to our rooms. Sometimes had to stay there until dinner - which could be all day.
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08-11-2002, 04:56 PM | #45 |
Elf Lord
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I used to scream stuff like that at my parents too, and now that I look back on it, it's funny, because we both know that I didn't mean it.
We have a timeout chair too, but we call it the 'naughty chair', and never really used it. Now I use it as a night stand. Parents should NEVER hit their child simply because they are angry at the child. Lashing out is not appropriate. My mom has 'lashed' out at me, but only once was it physical, and that still didn't leave a mark. I've never been bruised intentionally by anyone in my family. Time outs can be ineffective on certain children, and it can also just make them more rebellious. After awhile I grew out of the entire time out thing, and it wasn't effective at all. I'm one lucky kid, I've never been grounded. Now, if I start talking back to my mom or something like that, I just get yelled at and I storm downstairs. It's like being sent to my room, except I choose to go there. I can be a bit of an isolationist. Being sent to my room has never been a big deal to me though, since I've been able to read (and love doing it) for a very long time, and now my computer is in my room as well. My parents have threatened to take our computers away from us, but we know it's completely hollow, because they don't have one of their own. I'm actually a fairly good kid, I think, compared to some of the people in our neighborhood.
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“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell Last edited by Starr Polish : 08-11-2002 at 04:59 PM. |
08-11-2002, 05:00 PM | #46 | |
Elven Warrior
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see! a punishment which is just as extreme but doesn't cause any physical pain.perfect.
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08-11-2002, 05:00 PM | #47 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
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Quote:
I was never afraid of my father coming home if we were good. As a matter of fact we ate EVERY dinner as a family unless my father was on a business trip. Even if my father was coming home at 9:00 - my mother would ask us if we wanted to eat "now" or wait until dad came home. We always waited and ate when he came home. We did everything as a family. We used to sit from 7:00 to midnight - sometimes until 1:00am during Sunday dinner just talking as a family. So if you're picturing me coming from an abusive family - you're entirely wrong. I did get hit if I did something SERIOUSLY wrong. And sometimes it was just the fear of being hit that got us to behave.
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide Last edited by jerseydevil : 08-11-2002 at 05:05 PM. |
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08-11-2002, 05:05 PM | #48 |
Elven Warrior
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ok then, sorry jd. i wasn't implying that it was like that all the time in your family in particular. although in some families i suppose it is like that-where there's an abusive father.
but thats a different topic i suppose. unless you look at it from the point of view that what starts as gentle spanking could lead to full on abuse.
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08-11-2002, 05:13 PM | #49 | |
Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien
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08-11-2002, 05:21 PM | #50 | |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
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Come back! Come back! To Mordor we will take you! "The only thing better than a great plan is implementing a great plan" - JerseyDevil "If everyone agreed with me all the time, everything would be just fine"- JerseyDevil AboutNewJersey.com New Jersey MessageBoard Another Tolkien Forum Memorial to the Twin Towers New Jersey Map Fellowship of the Messageboard Legend of the Jersey Devil Support New Jersey's Liberty Tower Peacefire.org AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide |
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08-11-2002, 05:25 PM | #51 | |
the Shrike
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08-11-2002, 05:53 PM | #52 |
Queen of Prolonged, Unexplained Absences
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Location: Texas. 'Nuff said.
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I think deprivements and threats worked better for me. And they still do . Like, once when I wandered off during... something or other (sorry, I forgot) my dad caught up with me and said that I was computer deprived for a week. Nooooo.... At the end of that week, I was dying to use the computer. I never wandered off again .
Hmm... I was whacked quite a few times when I was younger. I didn't and I still don't know why. All I remember is a lot of screaming. I think I was being selfish/wasn't sharing/being mean or summat like that. When I got older, there was... the stick. Ah yes. Or any handy object lying about. And these are Korean spanks, the kind where you get hit 3 to 8 times on the back of the legs. If you don't know, that hurts a lot more than paddle to bottom spanks. Now I have this weird scaly skin on the back of my legs that is probably going to stay there for life. I wised up and got a new dad since my last spank, when I was 8. Yea or nay? Lets just say I am an extremely fast runner, and I can beat my mom in a fair fight.
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08-11-2002, 06:03 PM | #53 |
I am Freddie/UNDERCOVER/ Founder of The Great Continent of Entmoot
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Plainsboro, NJ
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In Indiana I found out that parents use the "switch". They make their children go to a Willow Tree and get a branch. That they use to hit them with. I have a friend out in Indiana that that was used on. That causes welts. That I don't like. I don't think that that is necessary at all. I had never heard of that until I moved to Indiana.
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08-11-2002, 06:07 PM | #54 | ||
The Rogue Elf
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I only reply to punishment for the first few days after I've received it. Then it's time to wreck havoc again. It's a good thing I'm not nowhere near as bad as I used to be, though. Quote:
Last edited by Rána Eressëa : 08-11-2002 at 06:10 PM. |
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08-11-2002, 06:24 PM | #55 |
im quite stupid
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With everything involving punishment the punishment is only as effective as the person delivering it. I have been spanked 4 time sin my life and i rember what each time it was for.
Spanking in my eyes is the ultimate dont do that again. and ill tell you what in my case it worked. Cos yeah we all get told off when we are kids but honestally how often do we listen. The perents among us will be able to throw more light on this but i think when you tell your kid not to do something thats minor again they will probably do it and you expect that but the idea of spanking is to say 'NEVER EVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN'. In my case it worked as i say i only got spanked 4 times so i was a pretty well behaved boy in my day but i dont feel scared at all i think its an effective way of sending a messege cos sometimes the verbal just isnt listened to. To those that have had physical abuse my dad would often hit me occasionally and i have allways responded (even when i was very young) but thats his issue and herespects me for sticking up myself and regreats it (plus ild kick his ass these days) but spanking was when i did something wrong and i could tell the difference.
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08-11-2002, 06:40 PM | #56 | |
The Rogue Elf
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Last edited by Rána Eressëa : 08-11-2002 at 06:42 PM. |
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08-11-2002, 06:55 PM | #57 | |
im quite stupid
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Yeah god hes ok but i would rather be judged by a sheep than that idiot |
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08-11-2002, 07:00 PM | #58 |
Elf Lord
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In my house my mother is the discipline giver. I used to be afraid of my dad. Not because he hit me, because I don't think he ever did, but he was (and is) an intimidating man, and if he yelled it gave me shivers. Often times a verbal reprimand may work, but sometimes a parent, especially a mother, won't have that kind of intimidating power. My mom certainly doesn't. I know for a fact I could knock her down (not that I would, of course).
I think one of the worst punishments is reverse psychology! My mom's used that on me, and the first few times it's just incredibly confusing. The bewilderment wears off after awhile though, and it's not effective anymore. There are a lot of reasons why people debate over spanking, and I think the main one is people have different ideas of what abuse is. I believe abuse is inflicting a mark, like a welt or bruise that lasts longer than a few minutes, but others seem to think any kind of pain, no matter how minor and infrequent, is abuse.
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“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell Last edited by Starr Polish : 08-11-2002 at 07:02 PM. |
08-11-2002, 07:00 PM | #59 | |
The Rogue Elf
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Last edited by Rána Eressëa : 08-11-2002 at 07:02 PM. |
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08-11-2002, 07:03 PM | #60 | |
Elf Lord
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