The ''Dear Hector'' Advice Thread

[hectorberlioz]

Sadly, the mod for this forum told me to get this thread back on track or it would be closed....


Dear Hector,
My grandmother is a grouch ot the max. And soon My boyfriend will be meeting her. The thing is, he hates grouchiness, and so many times He and I have had a lot of laughs at grouchy people. With the meeting only a week away, what do you reccomend I do? Just let things "float"? Or should I give my bf a primer on what to expect?
-Kinda skeered

Dear Skewered,
You've gotten yourself into quite a fix. I say YOUrself, because I highly doubt your BF is going to mind as much as you. What your boyfriend thinks of your grandma is not really your bussiness, and unless he's very rude, he won't tell you what he thinks of her, nor act rudely in front of her.
Let your grandma act the way she will, if your boyfriend acts to her liking, then things are going good.
Good Luck

[rohirrim TR]

Dear Hector
as you are the president of planet entmoot you can tell me will any one (besides the gods of entmoot) mind if the EMPIRE takes over? i need some political insight here.
sith lord pacing back and forth over bombing cooridinates

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by rohirrim TR

Dear Hector
as you are the president of planet entmoot you can tell me will any one (besides the gods of entmoot) mind if the EMPIRE takes over? i need some political insight here.
sith lord pacing back and forth over bombing cooridinates

Dear Sith Lord,
The capricious Admins and Mods of Entmoot are very territorial. Taking Over Entmoot would be very hard, possibly taking up to twenty years or more.
In my opinion, the best way into the operating system is through pure control of the Enmootian people. That takes influence, and years of building up trust.

[trolls' bane]

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

Dear Sith Lord,
The capricious Admins and Mods of Entmoot are very territorial. Taking Over Entmoot would be very hard, possibly taking up to twenty years or more.
In my opinion, the best way into the operating system is through pure control of the Enmootian people. That takes influence, and years of building up trust.

Good, that's better than 20 years.

[rohirrim TR]

hmm.. build up trust... it a good thing i have mind control

[trolls' bane]

Dear Hector,
What would you recommend doing if you are living with your dad and his house has had excellent westerly views from his front porch, and almost every night there is something unique in the western sky? It's becoming very difficult going in and out of the house trying to get the camera, try and find it, keep the card clear, and hope that the batteries aren't dead, so should I build a camera or buy one that wil be permanently attatched to the outside of my room (which is in the very front of the house and has a large window facing out the front toward the west) and being able to just take the pictures? Should I use an AC adapter and keep the USB always hooked up because my computer has 6 USB ports?
Should I remember to run?
--Card is Full! (Again)

[Lief Erikson]

Dear Hector,

My efforts to create a living, horrific monster from the dead bodies in a local cemetery has thus far only resulted in the creation of though ugly, nonetheless altogether friendly chaps. The church is filing a lawsuit against me for trespassing, though I suppose they haven't decided yet whether or not to take me to court for raising the dead. The whole situation is not going the way I wanted it to. I wish all those dead men I raised were dead again. No one is evil enough to satisfy me except rohirrim. I now have not only FRIENDS, but a REPUTATION FOR GOODNESS and a LAWSUIT FOR TRESPASSING. Three different, unpleasant dilemmas. Will you please help me?

Yours sincerely,
Frankenmeany

[trolls' bane]

LOL! I can't wait to see the answer to that one! Rohirrim will have to wait, because with controlling the Galaxy, he would also have control of all the old Sith and Jedi temples, enough power to live forever, or at least a few millenia...

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by Lief Erikson

Dear Hector,

My efforts to create a living, horrific monster from the dead bodies in a local cemetery has thus far only resulted in the creation of though ugly, nonetheless altogether friendly chaps. The church is filing a lawsuit against me for trespassing, though I suppose they haven't decided yet whether or not to take me to court for raising the dead. The whole situation is not going the way I wanted it to. I wish all those dead men I raised were dead again. No one is evil enough to satisfy me except rohirrim. I now have not only FRIENDS, but a REPUTATION FOR GOODNESS and a LAWSUIT FOR TRESPASSING. Three different, unpleasant dilemmas. Will you please help me?

Yours sincerely,
Frankenmeany

Dear Meany,
Obviously your dillemma is unique. And cool.
First of all, let me tell you: never ressurect dead people from a church graveyard: they're just too good. (Well, they were). What you should have done is look for unmarked graves in the backyards of realtor homes. Or, even better, look up the history of a dead person and see if it's worth it.
For your present situation I have two words: Run.
You can't escape a lawsuit from a church, God won't allow it. So the best thing to do is to go away and start over somewhere else.
You say you now have a reputation for goodness? Let me tell you about a little movie I once watched. starring Nicholas Cage. It's about three convicts who escape from prison and decide to go terrorize a small town. They plan a biggie for christmas eve, but no matter how hard they try, people keep liking them and are nice to them.
I think you can relate...it's just not the right spot for you.

[trolls' bane]

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

Dear Meany,
Obviously your dillemma is unique. And cool.
First of all, let me tell you: never ressurect dead people from a church graveyard: they're just too good. (Well, they were). What you should have done is look for unmarked graves in the backyards of realtor homes. Or, even better, look up the history of a dead person and see if it's worth it.
For your present situation I have two words: Run.
You can't escape a lawsuit from a church, God won't allow it. So the best thing to do is to go away and start over somewhere else.
You say you now have a reputation for goodness? Let me tell you about a little movie I once watched. starring Nicholas Cage. It's about three convicts who escape from prison and decide to go terrorize a small town. They plan a biggie for christmas eve, but no matter how hard they try, people keep liking them and are nice to them.
I think you can relate...it's just not the right spot for you.

Wow, run is two words! I got to keep up with this crazy language.

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by trolls' bane

Dear Hector,
What would you recommend doing if you are living with your dad and his house has had excellent westerly views from his front porch, and almost every night there is something unique in the western sky? It's becoming very difficult going in and out of the house trying to get the camera, try and find it, keep the card clear, and hope that the batteries aren't dead, so should I build a camera or buy one that wil be permanently attatched to the outside of my room (which is in the very front of the house and has a large window facing out the front toward the west) and being able to just take the pictures? Should I use an AC adapter and keep the USB always hooked up because my computer has 6 USB ports?
Should I remember to run?
--Card is Full! (Again)

Dear Karrde,
You should always remember to run.
Obviously your problem has to do with indecision. Indecision is caused by a faint of heart. Obviously you have it. Deal with it like this: there is a psychiatrist in your area that I called up. Her name is J.L.A Super. She specializes in pediatric care, people with limes disease, heart disease, mind disease and cancer of the intellect. You should see her.

[trolls' bane]

Dear Hector,
Hmm...a psychiatrist. Oh, I dont' know! I can't decide! What should I do!?
--Indecisively Full Card

[rohirrim TR]

Dear hector

indecisiveness is killing me, i can't decide whether or not to write you or not, what do you think? and "run" being two words has caused unmitigated spelling difficulties,
sith lord, r un ru-un ru n run-ning

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by rohirrim TR

Dear hector

indecisiveness is killing me, i can't decide whether or not to write you or not, what do you think? and "run" being two words has caused unmitigated spelling difficulties,
sith lord, r un ru-un ru n run-ning

Dear [Sith] Lord (I was about to be irreverent! ),
Inddysisseveness is an ailment I myself am besott with.
You say it's killing you? Why let it? challenge it to a dool! (duel).
Don't wait to make a decision about it, or indecisiveness will take over your life.
I see you're making a reference to the geese that aren't mitigating south this fall. (And I know they haven't because I've seen them refrain from it!)
When Geese don't "run" (mitigate)south, you know it's going to be a warm winter.
Don't worry about it.

[rohirrim TR]

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

Dear [Sith] Lord (I was about to be irreverent! ),
Inddysisseveness is an ailment I myself am besott with.
You say it's killing you? Why let it? challenge it to a dool! (duel).
Don't wait to make a decision about it, or indecisiveness will take over your life.
I see you're making a reference to the geese that aren't mitigating south this fall. (And I know they haven't because I've seen them refrain from it!)
When Geese don't "run" (mitigate)south, you know it's going to be a warm winter.
Don't worry about it.

i see.... how comforting

[trolls' bane]

Dear Hector,
Check out the Forum. See any interesting sounding threads?
--Dr. Helliwell

[hectorberlioz]

Dear Hector,
My Dog is sick. And I don't mean that he's i'll (except mentally-anyone who is like him IS!). He's actually a pervert.
One day I was hiking with my son and him in the woods...I HAD to change my son's diaper (he's a few months old-I've forgotten exactly. Yep Thats us mother over here, it's how we are. Anyways-I changed my son's diaper, and I threw the diaper into the ravine, along with all the broken logs and the such that you find in any woods. Yeah? Well, wonder of wonders luck of my luckiest, My dog bounds over there and has lunch. Must I go into grisly details? (which brings to mind, We did see a grisly...grizzly!)
Also...Hector, I'm a vegetarian. And I don't let my dog eat meat. It sounds unnatural, but it's how strongly I feel about it that makes me dictate over what my dog consumes. The other day he came home with a rabbit and ATE it!
-Really freaked out in B.C.

Dear Freaky,
Calm yourself. Take a deep breath, and prepare for the worst, for it is what I'll give you. Be back in a few days!

[hectorberlioz]

Dear Readers,

My niece recently was mugged on the street. To prevent this from happening to anyone else I've come up with some ingenius ideas:

1. Always have a dog with you

2. if someone approaches you on the street, either run or dont hesitate to whap them with your purse, even if it's someone you know (just in case!)

3. if and when they are on the ground, proceed to spray their eyes with pepper/ put them in a headlock/ or run.

4.when they grab your jacket from behind, tell them's its the marykate&ashley line and chances are they'll let go.

5.put Birgitt Nilsson's Brunnhilde right up to their ear with your ipod, and they'll run.

[rohirrim TR]

dear hector

you forgot to say " don't forget to run" of course you did say "run" but not "don't forget to run" I think you're slippin

also when I clicked hectorberlioz.org I got a "page will not display" message any way got to run * pun intended*

all the best,
you're friendly neighborhood sith lord

[hectorberlioz]

Originally Posted by rohirrim TR

dear hector

you forgot to say " don't forget to run" of course you did say "run" but not "don't forget to run" I think you're slippin

also when I clicked hectorberlioz.org I got a "page will not display" message any way got to run * pun intended*

all the best,
you're friendly neighborhood sith lord

Dear Sith Lord, you're absoluely right. I did forget to say don't forget to run, though I did say just run. I guess I'm forgetting to run or just forgetting the reasons to run.... whoa...too much Freud.

And by the way, my website is dead